Chapter Six
After throwing up for the umpteenth time, Jessica slept for another few hours and dreamt strange, disjointed dreams. Frightening dreams of floating through the dark of space. Cold and alone until she was reaching for his hand. But his fingers were always beyond her reach.
"Go away." Lee would tell her in his dream. "You'll drag me down. Go away." Yet even as he said the words he too was straining for her hand.
Then she'd dream of her mother holding her as a baby. "You must listen to him. Do as he tells you. Be a good girl. That's my good girl." She'd coo at the infant. But looking at herself as a baby, Jessica saw another baby with striking blue eyes. "No, momma. That's not me. That's my baby." She tried to explain.
"Don't be silly, darling. You don't know her name so how can she be your baby?" Her mother smiled at her.
"Give me my baby, momma" Jessica reached for the infant.
"What's her name?" Jessica began to sob. She didn't know. Her mother rose to leave.
"No momma wait. Please!"
Then she was sitting on a judges throne. Row upon row of people in front of her. She pointed at each one in turn.
"Cylon...Cylon...Cylon" she accused one after the other were led away to be killed. Lee, Kara, Laura Rosilin, Dr Salik, and Commander Adama. She pointed at each and accused and smiled as they were taken away. A young Asian woman stood next to her and smiled.
"Well done." She said to Jessica.
Jessica came awake with a start. Her heart racing in her chest. She gave a grimace at the throb in her arm. Damn Lee Adama. What kind of frakking hero breaks the damsel's bones? It may have been a while since her mother had regaled her with fairy tales but Jessica was pretty sure the hero never caused the princess bodily harm. Okay, so she'd had a blade in her hand at the time but hell, she wasn't threatening him with it...at the time. Jessica looked down at the gauze and cotton wrapped around her forearm. She hoped the numbers were gone. And the star. Jessica shuddered. The Cylons had branded her. She wanted no more reminders of them. Dr Salik had left the lights dimmed thankfully. She stared up at the ceiling and then turned her head to the drawn curtains. A small measure of privacy but Jessica was glad for it. Too much of a good thing was never good though and she was beginning to feel the effects of being cooped up in Life Station for the past...How long had it been? Two days? Three? Jessica pushed back the blankets and gingerly placed her feet on the cool floor. Her head fogged slightly but righted itself quickly She looked around for slippers and found them on the other side of the bed. She pulled the door open and was greeted by a very intimidating looking uniformed man. Startled she took a step back. "I was hoping to take a walk." She explained.
"You'll have to wait for the Commander's okay." He replied curtly. Jessica scowled at him but didn't even bother disputing him. He stood there looking at her.
"Can you go ask him?" She pressed.
"Just go back to bed, miss. Commander's a busy guy. You can ask him yourself when he comes to check on you."
Jessica groaned. "But you just said he's busy. Who knows when that will be? I just wanna get out of this room."
"Sorry. Got my orders." Just then she spotted Lieutenant Thrace walking towards a corridor. Jessica lowered her head under the guard's arm and called out to her.
"Excuse me, lieutenant? Lieutenant!" The woman turned and walked towards her.
"What's going on?" Kara asked.
"I want to get out of my room for a little while. Please, I'm going stir crazy." She pleaded.
"The commander wants you to stay put, considering you tried to kill him and all." Kara reminded her. Jessica raised her hands.
"Look. See?" Jessica said showing off her lack of sharp instruments. "Come on. You can walk with me. I just need to get out of here for a few minutes."
"I'll have to ask the commander." Kara replied and Jessica's face fell. Crap. She was hoping that Kara would be enough authority to get this He-Man to let her by. Apparently not.
"Can you do that now?" Jessica asked.
"Sure. Wait here." She said. Jessica smiled at her in grateful relief.
"Don't give me that look just yet. He might say no."
He didn't. Commander Adama, with Dr Salik's prodding allowed Jessica twenty minutes of slow walking. With Kara as her guard. Jessica wasn't gonna complain. Kara led her down a dim lit corridor. The few people that passed them looked at her curiously but went about there business. Until they came to the cafeteria.
"Have you eaten?" Kara asked her.
"Not really. Food loses its appeal once you keep seeing it in reverse" Jessica admitted.
"How 'bout some coffee?" Kara offered leading her to the counter. Kara grabbed a tray and placed some packs on it as well as pouring the both of them the coffee. They sat opposite each other in one of the corner tables after Jessica resisted sitting in the center of the small clumps of people. Two many thoughts bombarded her from all sides if she got to close. Kara ripped open one of the packs and dumped them into a small bowl After lifting the lid off the bowl of boiling water the lady behind the counter had provided her with poured some water into her smaller bowl Jessica watched the process. Kara swirled what was quickly becoming white noodles.
"Not quite Jimmy Chong but it'll do." Kara explained with a shrug. "You sure you don't want some?" Jessica shook her head and reached for her cup of coffee. The acrid taste shocked her. She shuddered and some of it dribbled down her chin.
"What is this?" She asked staring down into her cup. Forcing herself to swallow, Jessica wiped at her chin.
"Coffee." Kara reminded her.
"Nooo, Coffee is a yummy warm, rich, sweet thing that does not taste like feet. Ack!" Jessica wiped at her tongue trying to remove the taste.
"Sorry, no place to harvest coffee beans since the world ended." Kara explained.
"Dr Salik's I.V is looking more and more promising." Jessica said with a grimace.
"Hey Starbuck. Who's your friend here?" A bulky looking man, somewhere in his late twenties placed his hands on their table and gave what Jessica assumed he thought was a smile.
"Big teeth" Jessica said with a shudder as she looked up at him, uneasily. Kara choked on her noodles.
"She's my lesbian lover. Beat it Morgan." Kara warned. Jessica stared at her open mouthed. Kara just gave her a little nod to go along with her claim.
"I am not." Jessica insisted. Kara rolled her eyes. "Sorry, I can't lie. Could you go away?" Jessica insisted.
"Hey that's not very nice. Why don't I let you make it up to me later on honey?"
"Sorry, I'm not interested. You're too scary looking." Jessica squeezed her eyes shut. God how she hated this part of her damaged brain. It had gotten her into so many fights on among the other Cylon hostages but she couldn't help it. Kara burst out laughing. "I'm glad you're amused." Jessica said sarcastically.
"Come on babe. We could get to know each other-"
"I don't want to have sex with you okay? Now please get lost." Other heads turned their way and Gary Morgan stormed out of the cafeteria red faced.
"Oh man. I should have frakking charged admission for that! Lords!" Kara said slapping her hand on the table. "So you really can't lie? Frak, that's tragic." She said when Jessica nodded. "I hold a degree in it myself."
As Kara ate Jessica watched her. And was assailed with images from the woman's past. She'd been raised in an orphanage after her father had tried to sell her to an undercover cop at age 11 for money to buy booze. Her mother had died in childbirth. She had a sharp mind but no discipline and had been thrown out of school by the age of sixteen. She'd worked a few dead end jobs until she got herself together and decided to join the military. There was no other choice for Kara really, and when she proved adept in the cockpit there was no going back for her. Her demons were not exorcised but at least held at bay up in the sky. They could not reach her. No pain could touch her. She was recommended for training at the Academy and it was there she met the Adama's-
"Hey, knock that off." Kara snapped suddenly, making Jessica jump in her chair. "You want to know something about me, you ask. Got it?"
"I'm sorry, I..I" Jessica stammered, her cheeks burning at being caught.
"Don't do it again." Kara replied firmly. Then she stood. "I'm on duty in about half an hour so we'd better get you back to Life Station. If you want to go out again, wait for Salik." Jessica rose with her, a sick sort of sad feeling of familiarity. It had never been easy for her to make friends. Once it was discovered that she was able to tap into their deepest secrets they always put as much distance between themselves and Jessica as possible. She could see that aboard the Galactica, things would be no different. Sniffling back tears, Jessica followed the woman she'd hoped would be a friend, out of the cafeteria.
