Little Shop of Mutants
By Todd Fan
Disclaimer: "I've been an evil doctor for thirty frickin' years."
ACT 12 - Buiness is blooming.
We are still by Amanda's window, we pan up to the rooftops, where we can hear Wanda, Tabby and Rogue
Yah yah yah yah, yah yah yah
Yah
yah yah yah, yah yah yah
We finally see the girls, who are wearing red frilly outfits and are dancing on the rooftops
"Well...this is demeaning", mutters Rogue.
The music kicks in higher as the girls sing in unison.
Poor Kurty pushed a broom
Nothing in his news but gloom and doom
Then he lit a fuse and give him room
He started an explosion, holy cow
That thing went bang ka-boom
And he's havin' some fun now.
They lean on a roof ledge
NOW!
Some fun now, sings Tabby
Hot damn, they sing in unison
Ain't he havin' some fun now, sings Wanda
Yes, ma'am
He's a-havin' some fun now, sings Rogue
Oh boy
Ain't
he havin' some fun now, now!
They spin around and dance around the rooftops, shouting 'arrrrriiiba'...and such
"I'm glad I borrowed some of Alisons 'special coffee' for this scene", murmers Warren from where he flies above them..nice and safe.
As the girls continue singing, we see clips of a very sleepy Kurt feeding Amanda II blood from his hands
Some fun now, sings Tabby.
Shut up
"No" says Tabby.
Ain't he havin' some fun now, sings Wanda
Hot stuff
He's a-havin' some fun now, sings Rogue
Oh boy
Ain't he havin' some fun now, now!
Some fun now
He's havin' some fun now
Yes,
he's havin' some fun now
Ain't he havin' some fun now!
Some
fun now.
Some fun now
Some
fun now
Some fun now
We go to a a while later, where Amanda II is quite big now. There are lots of people bustling around the shop, looking at it, while Todd pushes his way through them to get to the ringing telephone
"'Scuse me, comin' through!", he shouts, "Watch it lady!".
He picks up the phone and takes a deep breath
"Yes, Mr Guthrie. No, Mr Guthrie", he says, "Right away, Mr Guthrie".
He puts down the phone and shouts Kurt, who is leaning against a cuboard, looking very listless from the loss of blood. His coat is in poor condition too!
"KURT!".
"Huh", asks Kurt sleepily, looking in a different direction.
"Did ya send off the order for Mr Guthrie?", asks Todd.
Kurt looks at him blankly, before blinking
"Mr Guthrie?", he asks, then squeals, "I forgot!".
"Ya forgot? Ya forgot!", Todd looks at the ceiling, "Do ya hear this, God?. He forgot! Are ya listening, customers? He forgot!".
"You don't have to rub eet in", mutters Kurt.
Kurt bamfs into a back room, where Amanda does her flower arrangements
"Amanda, quick", he says, "Vev'e got to do an emergency arrangment".
"Birthday? Wedding? Baby?", asks Amanda
"Funeral", sighs Kurt.
"Hand me the lilies", says Amanda.
Amanda start to bustle around, doing her job as Kurt babbles
"Mr Tolensky's real mad at me", sighs Kurt, "I keep forgetting things".
"Scissors", says Amanda, taking them from him, "You've got a lot on your mind".
Todd enters, flicking through more orders
"Mind, what mind?", he mutters, "The Guthrie's are our most important funeral account. A big enormous family, dropping off like flies!".
"Pardon?", whimpers Sam form backstage, before cannonballing off, "ahm commin' home, Mamma, HOLD ON!"
"...Yeah...okay", says Warren, blinking.
Todd shakes his head, leaving the room.
"Sometimes I think Mr Tolensky's too hard on you", says Amanda, "Glue".
Kurt hands her the glue, and she sprays with lilies with it
"Oh, that's okay", says Kurt, "I owe him everything".
"Glitter".
"...So nice to have someone to talk to", says Kurt dryly.
He hands her the glitter and she throws it onto the lilies
"He took me out of ze Skid Row Home for Boys vhen I vas just a leetle tyke", he says, "He gave me a varm place to stay, floors to sveep, toilets to clean...".
"Heh heh", chuckles Todd from backstage.
"And every other Sunday off", says Kurt.
"You know, I think you ought to raise your expectations, Kurt. Now that you're getting successful, I mean", says Amanda, "It's clear you suffer from a low self-image".
Kurt blinks at her for a few moments.
"I'm blue and furry and have a tail!", he shouts, "And shall ve not mention ze hoved toes and three digits on each hand! YOU look like this and not have a low self-image!".
"And it's high time you get it fixed", says Amanda, ignoring him, "Why don't you go out and do something nice for yourself, like buy some new clothes?".
Kurt looks down at his clothes
"Vas vrong vith my clothes?".
"Kuuurrrrt!", warns Warren.
"Sorry", sighs Kurt, "I'm a very bad shopper, Amanda. I don't have good taste like you".
Amanda clears her throat and looks very flattered
"Well..I could help you pick things out", she offers.
"You could?", asks Kurt hopefully.
"Sure", says Amanda, shrugging.
"You'd go shopping vith me?".
"Sure".
"You'd be seen vith me in a public place like a department store?".
Amanda pauses.
"...Sure".
"Tonight?", asks Kurt, almost hopping from foot to foot.
"Oh, I can't tonight, I got a date", says Amanda
Todd snorts, leaning on the doorframe.
"Again, this date?", he rolls his eyes, "Some date".
Kurt bamfs out of the room
"A date gives ya a corsage, not a multiple fracture", says Todd, "I'm telln' ya, Amanda, he's not a good, clean kind'a boy".
"He's a professional", says Amanda.
"What kind'a professional drives a motorcyle and wears a black leather jacket!", snaps Todd.
Those that have read the parody in it's first incarnation know, oh yes... Do review. Until next time...
