Cause and Effect: Chapter 5: A Love Affair Revisited

Disclaimer: I do not own Gilmore Girls.

A/N: Sorry, this took longer than I would have liked to get up. But here it is! Thanks for reviews everyone, and don't worry, I've been through pregnancy so I know my facts. : )

Lorelai woke up the next morning, silencing the mooing of her alarm clock with a whack of her hand.

'Today's the day. D-Day. The day that could change every other day for the rest of my life.'

Lorelai sat up and looked out the window, noticing that the weather outside matched her mood. There was a steady fall of rain and the sky was full of gray clouds.

Sighing, Lorelai climbed out of bed and pulled on the jeans she had laid out the previous night. Rifling through the pile of t-shirts on the chair, she struggled to find one appropriate for the doctor's office. Vetoing the 'porn star' t-shirt and casting aside the 'hot mama' tank, thinking it might be all too relevant in this situation. Settling on a plain black t-shirt, Lorelai pulled it over her head, threw her hair in a pony tail and shuffled into her tennis shoes.

Lorelai stumbled down the stairs to the kitchen, not yet awake.She filled the coffee pot with water and dumped several scoops of instant coffee into the machine, following her daily routine, trying to fool herself into thinking that this was just a regular day.

Pulling out a chair at the table, she sat and waited for the coffee to percolate. It never went fast enough. No matter how impatiently she drummed her fingers on the table or how many evil looks she shot it, the coffee always took it's time. She watched it's steady rhythm, it's constant dripping. Lorelai felt it was mocking her, showing her what she could never have. The coffee machine always had security and reliability, knowing what to expect each day. Lorelai never had that, especially with men. Christopher had always been basically a coin toss, his feelings for her seemed to be ever changing. The last time he had visited, she had thought there was something there, something in his eyes. But then the wind changed and he was gone. Back to Boston, back to Sherry.

Pouring herself a mug of the long-awaited coffee, she raised it to her mouth and brought it back down to the table, without a drop of it passing through her lips. She had thought coffee would make her feel better, but it only made her feel worse. Coffee always made her think of him, even if it was just crappy instant coffee. Lorelai wondered if her love affair with coffee had to do with him. It made sense, when she wanted coffee, she went to him. She couldn't live without coffee...did that mean she couldn't live without him? Lorelai shook her head. He was the last thing she wanted to think about right now.

Lorelai was dumping the hot coffee into the sink, emptying the pot and her mug when she heard the phone ring.

Her mind being elsewhere that morning, Lorelai picked up the phone without checking the caller ID, figuring it would be Rory or Sookie checking up on her.

"Hello?"

"Lorelai?"

The voice was unmistakable. It was him. Just the sound of his voice sent chills through her body and she swore goose bumps erupted on her skin. How often had she heard that voice lecturing her, comforting her and flirting with her? The one person she had worked hard to avoid, to not think about, and now here they were, connected through the telephone.

Lorelai realized she had been holding her breath as she brought the receiver down and walked out the door.

She sat, struggling, in the front seat of her Jeep, trying to get the key in the ignition. She fumbled, and the tears in her eyes made everything blurry.

She put the keys down and picked up her cell phone from the seat next to her.

The tears fell freely as she dialed the number and waited for someone to pick up.

"Hello?" a groggy voice answered.

"Oh God Sookie, I woke you up, didn't I? I'm such a horrible person. I should win the prize, second to Don Corleone, because, you know, with all the killing people and stuff, I think he would win-"

"Lorelai, sweetie. Calm down. It's fine. Are you crying?"

Lorelai sniffled. "He called."

"Oh honey." Sookie knew who 'he' was.

"He called and I just hung up. I should have said something, Sookie!"

"Lorelai, you were scared. It's understandable."

"But now, he's gonna think I hate him. I don't hate him. What happened wasn't his fault."

"So, go talk to him."

"I can't. Not yet. I know I have to eventually, but not right now. Plus, I have the appointment and then Rory's coming home..."

"Right, the appointment. So are you going now?"

"Yeah, I'm just pulling out of my driveway. Sookie, I'm scared."

"I know sweetie. I know. I'm gonna let you go now, I want you to focus on the road. Call me when you...find out."

"I will. Thanks Sook. Bye."

"Bye hon."

Lorelai flipped the phone shut and tossed it onto the passenger seat.

"It's gonna be a long day."

Luke wasn't sure why he had done it. He had stayed in bed the entire night, unable to sleep, and had reached for the phone fourteen times.

Six of those he had actually picked it up, but slammed it back down again. Once, he had dialed the first four digits of her phone number (the only one he knew by heart,) but common sense would take over once again until he finally threw the phone across the room, out of his reach.

So, he lay in bed all night, unable to sleep, unable to call her, unable to think of anything but her. He tossed and turned but meticulously avoided the side of the bed where she had lain not so long ago.

Sometimes he thinks it was all a dream, or possibly a hellish nightmare, until he identifies the scent that lingers all around him, that is, Lorelai. It envelopes him, suffocates him, stifles him to the point where he can't stand it anymore.

He is tempted to rip the sheets off the bed, in an attempt to rid himself of her. He knows that won't work, he could never rid himself of Lorelai, and he isn't too sure he wants to, anyway. Once again, rational thinking takes over and Luke is angry. Where the hell was rational thinking the other night?

"It's gonna be a long day."

"Ms. Gilmore? Are you alright?"

"What? Oh...yes...yes, I'm fine."

"As I was saying, it's too early for us to be able to give you a reliable answer. We could have you take a home pregnancy test, but you'd only have a thirty percent chance of it being accurate. Most women choose to wait at least until their missed period."

"Right. Yes. Yes, I'll wait."

"Okay. Now just bring this to the front desk and schedule an appointment for two weeks from now."

"Thank you, Dr. Miller."

"See you in two weeks."

Lorelai began to untie the paper robe she had put on. Putting on her clothes, Lorelai thought about what the doctor had told her. That it was too late for the morning-after pill (Lorelai would have refused anyway,) and that it was too early to know if she was pregnant or not. Two weeks. That was a long time.

Lorelai glanced at the file the doctor had handed her. It was thick, with papers sticking out of it. Opening the manila folder was like opening a summary of her life. The file contained documentation of the most important events of Lorelai's life. Rory's first ultrasound, with a printed sonogram included. Lorelai remembered that day, the day she had seen her daughter for the first time.

"Okay Miss Gilmore, are you ready to see your new baby?"

"Yes. Yes. I'm ready."

The doctor gently glided the paddle over Lorelai's stomach, and Lorelai wasn't sure if the tingly feeling was from the sonogram gel or from the image that had just appeared on the miniature screen. At first, Lorelai had just seen a blob. A blob of white in a sea of darkness. The blob moved, and Lorelai gasped. It wasn't a blob, it was her child.

The doctor pointed out the baby, identifying it's little parts. It was too soon to know the sex of the baby, but Lorelai didn't care. She had seen her baby, watched it move, inside of her. It was surreal.

Lorelai had left the doctor's office that afternoon feeling bittersweet. She had arrived alone, and she was leaving alone. She had come directly to the doctor's after leaving school, riding the city bus. Her mother would have a heart attack if she knew she took a city bus and more so, that she went to the doctor's alone.

Fingering the newly printed black and white photo in her pocket, Lorelai knew she wasn't alone.

Lorelai shut the folder and put on her coat, wishing she could feel as happy about this as she did sixteen years ago.

A/N: Please review! I love hearing what you guys think.

Rachel