Annoying A Leprechaun Is Never Smart
Disclaimer: It's all been said before.
Summary: Xander annoyed the leprechaun. Big mistake.
Reviews: Yes please! Love reviews, adore reviewers. Readers Rock but Reviewers RULE!
A/N: WayWard Childe: I'm loving the collaboration we've got going on. This story wouldn't exist without you. You're awesome.
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Sean jumped easily up to the top of the counter. He sat on the edge, leaned on the cash register and surveyed the humans who had made his friends life miserable.
"Sean Patrick O'Brien! What are you doing in Sunnydale?" Anya asked the leprechaun.
"Seeing a bit of the world. A few of us decided to wander a bit and take a look at something other than Ireland. I'll be going home in a few days. Word has it in the demon world that you're human now. That is a shame. You made such a delightful demon. Your vengeances were inspiration to us all." Sean smiled at the ex-vengeance demon.
"I'm now human, helping the American economy by practicing capitalism." Anya nodded and smiled. "I have a boyfriend and everything."
"Really, now? And isn't that fine?" Sean knew full well who Anya's boyfriend was. He was one of Spike's biggest tormentors.
"It is wonderful. Xander, I'd like for you to meet my friend Sean." Anya motioned for the male Scooby to come over and meet the Leprechaun.
"Um. Hi. Are you a…Leprechaun?" Xander stammered.
"That I would be. So you're the man lovely Anya has taken up with. You are very lucky." Sean smirked.
"Yeah. Wow, a Leprechaun. Imagine." Xander backed up and sat down at the research table.
"Anya, me darlin, introduce me to the others." Sean requested.
The blonde pointed to each person in turn as she identified them. "That's Buffy, she's the slayer. Giles is her watcher. The redhead is Willow, she's a witch. Next to her is Tara, another witch. You know Xander. The teenager on the stairs is Dawn, Buffy's sister."
"The slayer? I've heard of slayers but have never had the pleasure. And aren't you a lovely one too? Witches are you? Well, America certainly has its share of fair lasses. Dawn, as pretty as the rising sun, you are. Mr. Giles. Would that be Rupert Giles?" Sean flattered each girl in turn before turning his attention to the Watcher.
"Why, yes. You've heard of me? I can't imagine how that could be." Giles cleaned his glasses in confusion.
"Your name is well known in the demon community back home." Sean said seriously, a twinkle in his bright green eyes. "I heard something about a vampire when I came in. I imagine you'd be having quite a bit of vamp problems on the Hellmouth."
"This vampire is more of a nuisance than a problem." Xander stated, unaware of the spark of anger in Sean's eyes. "He's harmless, can't bite. Not much good for anything. Buffy won't stake him though."
"I can't kill a helpless creature, Xan." Buffy reminded him.
The 'helpless creature' under discussion burst through the door at that moment. The sun hadn't quite finished going down so Spike had a smoldering blanket thrown over his head. He dropped it on the floor and stomped out the smoking spots.
"Speak of the devil." Xander muttered resentfully.
"Thanks, Harris, nice to see you too. Slayer? Your mum get home okay?" Spike's continued concern for Joyce disconcerted Buffy.
"Not that it's any of your business but yes." The petite blonde stated.
"Buffy, Spike brought her some really pretty flowers. He's always nice to me and Mom. If you were just a little nicer to him…" Dawn was cut short by her sister's anger.
"He's just a vampire, Dawn. I don't have to be nice to him. Spike, was there anything else you wanted?" Buffy asked the blond vampire with irritation clear in her voice.
"Yeah, Dawnie. If you stop encouraging him, he'd stop coming around." Xander added maliciously.
Sean watched the display with rising annoyance. They had no reason that he could see to be so disdainful of Spike. A glance from Spike banked his ire. He could see, even if the others couldn't, the renewed confidence in the blond vampire's stance. The flicker of amusement in the sapphire eyes that hinted at a secret he wasn't telling.
Tara noticed a subtle difference in Spike's aura. She could see there was something changed about him but she still couldn't figure out what it was.
"Oh, I don't need encouragement to visit. I know how much you look forward to my sparkling presence. And, no Slayer, there wasn't anything else. Just checking on your mum, is all. Thought you'd get pissy if I went by the house." Spike smirked at the consternation on Buffy's face. He knew he'd thrown her off balance and was enjoying the sensation more than he would have thought possible. He hoped that Sean would get the hint and not say anything about their acquaintance. A casual glance around the shop brought his gaze to the leprechaun lounging on the counter.
"You have company." Spike noted. "I'm Spike, you are…?" He held out his hand to Sean.
"Sean Patrick O'Brien, pleasure to make your acquaintance." Sean answered rather sardonically as he shook the proffered hand.
"The great Poofter used to tell us stories about Leprechauns. We should go out for a bit of a drink and you can tell me if they're true." Spike told him with a smile.
"That would be grand. We should, but it will have to be tomorrow as I'm catching up with some old friends today. Just stopped by to see Anyanka." Sean indicated the ex-demon behind him.
"Tomorrow it is then." Spike nodded. Without bothering to say anything else to the Scoobies, the blond menace opened the door and exited into the increasing darkness. His black leather duster swirled around his lean frame as he walked.
"Well, if that wasn't a breath of dead air." Xander grumbled. "Doesn't he have anything better to do?"
"He didn't seem so bad to me." Sean remarked with a thoughtful look at Xander.
"He hasn't kidnapped you and tried to kill you." Xander told him.
"Oh, I'm sure if he truly wanted to kill you, he would have. Being the Childe of Angelus and all." Sean commented.
Dawn spoke up. "See, I told you that Spike wouldn't have killed you."
Buffy shushed her sister. "Spike is an evil soulless vampire with nothing better to do than annoy me. So please stop defending him." She turned to Sean. "How would you know who his Sire is? And it wasn't Angelus, it was Drusilla."
"Sure, and you're telling me it wasn't William the Bloody, one part of the Scourge of Europe that just went out the door. There's not a soul in the demon world hasn't heard of Spike and Angelus. Who told you it was the lovely Drusilla who sired that master vampire?" Sean told her.
"He did, last night." Buffy was confused.
Giles cleaned his glasses again. "The question of just who sired Spike has been the subject of debate for decades. No one truly knows, I'm afraid." He said, replacing his glasses.
"Can't see where anyone would care." Xander's continued complaints about the blond vampire were seriously annoying Sean.
He hid his irritation and turned to Anya. "Well, Darlin, I must be going. It's been a treat to see you again."
Anya kissed his cheek. "Come back before you leave. Okay?" She pleaded.
"Of course." The leprechaun jumped down and bowed to the others. "It's been a rare occasion, meeting the lot of you." He made his way to the door. "Good evening to you all."
Giles watched in bemusement, as a creature he'd sworn to his slayer didn't exist, swept out of his shop. "My goodness." He murmured.
Outside out of sight of the shop door, Sean paused. "Xander Harris, from this moment on for the next twenty four hours, each insult you utter against William will have it's own reward. A sneeze one time, a twitch the next, a day in which you will learn tolerance for Spike is your punishment for your intolerance." Satisfied he'd cursed Xander properly, Sean twirled his cane and vanished.
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The next day began as all the others before it did, the alarm clock rang. Xander woke up and luxuriated in the knowledge that they were no longer in the basement. Contentment at the peace brought a smile to Xander's handsome face. He heaved himself out of Anya's warm arms and nudged her awake.
"Ahn, time to get up. Gotta go make some money. Let's go, Honey. Rise and shine." He said as he headed into the shower.
The blonde ex-demon got up and walked through the apartment to the kitchen. She started a pot of coffee as she yawned and stretched. Xander slipped up behind her and slid his arms around her waist. He couldn't believe how lucky he was. A random thought crossed his mind that the only blight in his life was one bleached-blond, neutered vampire. He sneezed.
"Bless you. Are you getting ill?" Anya asked worriedly. "You can't give me orgasms if you're ill. Please say you're not getting contagious."
"I'm not getting sick. It was just a sneeze." Xander denied. He got out a loaf of bread and popped four slices into the toaster.
"That's good. Although I would be very good at nursing you back to health." Anya chattered, buttering the toast as it finished.
Xander poured a cup of coffee. "You never told me you knew a leprechaun."
"You never asked." She told him seriously.
"So, he ever grant you any wishes?" Xander asked almost casually.
"No. And don't you go around asking him for any wishes either. It's almost as bad as getting a wish from a vengeance demon. Nothing good ever comes of it." Anya warned him. Something about the way she said it stayed with Xander all day. A day in which he dropped his hammer three times and sneezed almost a dozen times over the course of the day. Not once did he make the connection that these things only happened after he said or thought something negative about Spike.
Everyone was gathered in the Magic Box, as was their habit after school and work. Riley and Buffy were telling Giles about patrol the night before and getting ready for that night's patrolling. Anya was counting the money in the register. Dawn had stayed home with Joyce. Tara and Willow were doing homework at the research table, holding hands out of sight under the table.
Xander was drafting a schedule for the employees he now supervised. Spike sauntered into the shop and smirked at the various humans scattered around.
"Well, aren't we all just busy little worker bees tonight?" He commented.
"Go away, Spike. You weren't invited." Xander griped, then sneezed.
"Bless you." Tara said quietly.
"Thank you." Xander nodded. "Spike, why do you come here every night when you know we don't want you here?" A twitch of his hand sent his carefully mapped out schedule tumbling to the floor.
"Damn it!" The young carpenter swore.
Spike noticed his difficulty with amusement. "Having problems, Harris?"
"No!" Xander gathered his papers and put them back the way he had them.
Buffy and Riley advanced toward Spike. He retreated to the safety of the stairs and sprawled across the steps. "Why are you here, Spike?"
"Just waiting for Sean to come around. We had arrangements to go for a drink. I left before telling him where to meet so I figured he'd show up here sooner or later." Spike drawled from behind Willow and Tara.
"Well, okay, but don't talk to anyone." Buffy ordered.
"Gee, Slayer, never got the memo that said you could tell me what to do." Spike remarked sarcastically.
Xander's hand twitched and broke the pencil he was holding. "Spike, if you have to sit there can you at least shut up? Ahhh-chooo!"
Spike noticed both the twitch and the sneeze with glee. He was beginning to see a connection and the amusement possibilities were nearly endless. He propped his elbows on the step behind him and crossed his feet at the ankles. His scarred eyebrow went up when he saw Xander glare at him just before another twitch sent the papers scattering again. The blond vampire settled in to watch the brunette human's discomfort. A steady gaze was all Spike needed to ensure that Xander was convulsed in a non-stop sneezing fit.
Buffy moved over to her friend and glared at Spike. "Whatever it is you're doing, stop it!" She ordered.
The scarred brow went up again. "I know you're not accusing me of causing the Whelp's problem." He drawled. "I am enjoying it but I'm not doing it."
"Then how come he's so much worse since you came in?" Riley pointed out.
"Your guess is as good as mine, Farm Boy." The vampire answered disinterestedly, checking his nail polish for chips.
Willow stood up. "Come on, Xander, let's get you outside, maybe there's a new herb in the shop that you're allergic to."
The redheaded witch guided her continuously sneezing best friend outside. He leaned against the wall and inhaled deeply. Gradually the sneezing fit eased. They decided to stay outside for a while.
Sean passed them with a hidden smile as he went into the shop looking for Spike. "Are you ready to go?" He greeted Spike with a smirk.
Spike nodded.
Buffy crossed her arms. "Who said you could leave? You haven't told us what you did to Xander."
"I'm only going to say this one more time, Slayer. I did not do anything to the wanker. He's not worth my time." Spike rose gracefully from the steps and swept out of the shop with a gleeful leprechaun on his heels and a flummoxed slayer staring after them in shock.
Tara watched the display with intense curiosity. The change in Spike's aura was more obvious. She still couldn't pinpoint the cause of the change but she could see the effect it was having on his entire bearing. There was a confidence to him she hadn't seen before.
Willow and Xander came back into the shop. Buffy and Riley left for the night's patrol shortly after. Giles suggested they research to find out if anything mystical could have caused Xander's problems. Tara had an early class and excused herself to back to the dorm. The others were so involved in solving the puzzle of Xander's sneezing that they barely noticed her departure.
Tara walked back to the dormitory swiftly. She knew she shouldn't be out after dark by herself but had felt uncomfortable watching the others fuss over Xander. She didn't notice the shadowy figures that followed her as she made her way home.
