Crash Into Me

By Twinb80

Chapter Three

Iris lay on the couch lost in a dream of her own. Her memories of that night played in her mind like a silent film. They had been so young and innocent then. Full of life and what the future held for them. Justin had grown up to be a handsome young man that girls stared at when he walked by. Iris had grown up to be a pretty young woman who Justin adored. That night found them at the Carnivale. Happily going from booth to booth in attempts to win a prize. Justin was scheduled to leave the next day to begin his studies in seminary. It had just been the two of them, and the night seemed to go on forever. Her dream changed and she found herself lost in another memory - the memory of his touch upon her skin later that night. They had been scared that first time. Scared but exhilrated at the thought that they would now be together, finally made one instead of two. She lay there on the damp grass and welcomed him into her body as well as her soul. They had moved as only new lovers could and he had finally came inside her, whispering her real name into her ear.

Iris awoke with his name on her lips begging to be called out. Her eyes focused on where he had been sitting before she fell asleep. He was staring at her. Her robe lay hanging off the couch, showing off her new nightgown underneath. Her chemise had riden up to her thighs, exposing her underwear and lower regions to his eager eyes. His gaze was piercing through her body. Llike he wanted to ravage her right there. A blush raced up her neck and settled on her face. To get his attention, she shifted her legs and thighs, exposing more of herself for him. His eyes blink and then traveled back up her body to her face. They stared at one another. Iris tried her best, without words, to let him know that she wanted him. And that he could take her right then and there if he wished. His reaction suprised her.

He seemed displeased, and she became at once confused. Hadn't he asked her to come back downstairs? Hadn't he requested to see her intimately that same night? Their time upstairs had been too real for her to have dreamed it. She watched as he stood up and walk over to her, saying nothing. He was towering over her, and she hoped that his displeasement had changed. Instead, his hand found the radio dial and turned the radio off. The music died, leaving only silence in the living room. He still said nothing to her, turning and leaving the room. She heard as he grabbed his coat and walked out the door. Bewildered, she turned on her side and brought herself up to a half sitting position. She placed her hands against her mouth in a silent prayer, trying to understand what had just happened between them. She knew that he wanted her in his life and in his bed. So what had happened just now? Iris could not find the answer so she continue to lay there and closed her eyes as the past few days swept over her.

So much had happened in just those few short days. Her confession to the fire and Justin's reaction to it. He had been shocked that she had struck the match and set their Ministry ablaze, killing the children in the process. She had not lied when she told Justin the children had been sacrified like the lambs of Abraham. He needed martrys and she had given them to him. Couldn't he see that everything she did was for him? Her own words echoed in her in her mind: "I did it for you." She saw behind her eyes as the Ministry caught fire and light up the once darken street. She had seen everything as she stood across the street hidden from view. She hadn't wanted to hear the screams of the children as the fire consumed their bodies.

A chill ran down her body as the images continued playing behind her eyes. She hadn't wanted to sacrifice them, but Justin needed martrys to complete his destiny. It had hurt her to strike that match, sacrificing the children and in the process, Justin's last vestige of innocence.

She had loved those children as if they were her own. They had been the children she and Justin had never had. She had never really been given a chance to have a family of her own and bear children for the man she loved. God had never blessed her womb. Instead she had been blessed the day her Alexsei was born. He was her other half to protect and to love. God had given them to each other for a reason. Iris knew this in the deepest part of her soul. For weren't they God's own children? Iris nodded her head yes to the unspoken question. The hallway clock chimed and she was startled to hear how late it had become. Justin had still not returned, but she knew that he would be back. The last time he had left her without a word had been before his vision. He had come home renewed with faith and plans for his new mission in life. They had started the Dignity Ministry shortly thereafter. Iris opened her eyes, not wanting to think any more of the Dignity Ministry.

She got up from the couch and turned the radio back on, wanting to fill the silence. Iris tied the robe around her waist and lay back down on the couch. As a piano piece filled the air, she brought her legs up to brace her feet against the couch's armrest. Her eyes closed as she let the music wash over her. Images of their time upstairs played in her mind, and her left hand clutched at the material of her chemise. She allowed her right hand to roam over her stomach and then up to her breasts, imagining he was making his claim on her body once again. The song changed and Iris opened her eyes. Her breathing had become haggard and she realized what she had just done with embarassment.

As a young teenager she had been taught that touching oneself for gratification was a sin. Her face had burned as she sat with her Sunday School class, the girls and boys had been separated that day to have the talk. Iris and the other girls had been rendered speechless as one of the older women went on about this sin. Their faces had become bright red and no one could look at each other. Even the older woman talking to them had been embarassed. Her face had constantly gone from bright red to a deathly white as she raced through her speech. The speech really hadn't been that long or held that much information. But no one had spoken when the woman asked if they were any questions.

Iris lay there on the couch and thought this sin over. She knew that she shouldn't have been touching herself like that. But that hadn't stopped her from picturing his hands over her body. She gave a small satisfactory smile as she thought about the other sin they had committed. If it was a sin to love him by giving her body to him, then that was one sin Iris wasn't going to run from. He wanted her and she wanted him . . . it was that simple. They were everything to each other and always would be. God knew what he was doing when he gave them to each other. Satisfied with this explantion she closed her eyes and turned on her side. Sleep found her and the next few hours went by.