(Mini Disclaimer: The lyrics that you read, I did NOT write them, I heard them sung on Disney Channel and I felt that fit for this chapter. It's "Over It", sung by Annalise Van Der Pool)
Also I would like to thank 2 new reviewers: Waterfari88 and Kimberly. And to Nativemoon: yes the counting was intentional, and I'm happy I can be inspiration for somebody! I feel so flattered!
Chapter 4: Memories Kept
How could you know?
That behind my eyes, a sad girl cried...Another Memory...The Halloween Dance.
She'd chosen her outfit accordingly enough. It was a beautiful dress very visible under the maroon robes.
Long flowing skirt in violet, a black bodice over a lavender shirt with long bell sleeves. She still wore her black boots though. There was silver embroidery on the hems of the skirt, and the sleeves. And silvery swirls adorned the bodice, enchanted to look like swirly, coiling wisps of smoke. Her hair was down; with the small exception of the two braids she had in front, one on each side of her head.
She was a thing of beauty to be sure; even Severus could not help but notice her.
She, however, opted to sit in the darkest corner she could find. She saw Dumbledore and Severus talk for a moment before Severus made his way over to her.
"Good evening Anya." He nodded at her and sat down next to her, handing her a mug of Butterbeer, which she accepted with a small, warm smile.
"It's a beautiful dance Severus, don't you think?" She asked him, looking out across the huge hall, where decorations in orange and black were everywhere and the students were having a wonderful time. "And so many happy couples..." She trailed off, a sad hue to her voice a sudden cold chill that only lasted a second before that warm smile was in place again.
"Quite." He gave a curt nod in the direction she was looking and stood again. She looked up at him as he turned to her and offered his hand with a bored look on his face. "Would it be to presumptuous of me, to ask for a dance?" He nearly whispered in a voice that was actually quite kind compared to the sharp tones she was used too.
"Why not at all Severus, I'd be delighted." She beamed up at him as she gently took his hand and let herself be lead around the dance floor for more than one dance.
They sat down after a few dances and opted to talk for a while.
"I was wondering Anya, why you decided to teach you're older students wand-less magic?" He posed the question in a simply curious manner. She smiled again and placed her chin in her hand.
"Well Severus...it is a practical thing is it not? I mean...what are you supposed to do when the Expelliarmus charm has knocked your wand fifty feet from you and another curse is coming you're way?? Not much unless you know how to use the magic you have without a wand. And since I know that these kids will probably have to face a lot of that in their futures, I believe it is a necessary skill. I know I found it quite useful in my...experiences." The table her elbow and other hand was resting on turned icy as she trailed off in reminiscence.
"Yes, it is quite practical. However, I was quite surprised you knew how to do it." He confessed to her, hiding the surprise in his voice with amusement.
"Yes well...I've gotten such knowledge and experience the hard way...through experience and tough training." The ice on the tabletop thickened an inch.
And how could you know?
That I hurt so much inside...There was pain in her eyes then. Deep seated and well hidden pain.
Usually.
Holidays and happy events, while bringing out that warm smile, brought out the worst memories.
"Well." The warmth in her smile made the icy tabletop melt away. "Severus, it has been a lovely evening, and YOU are an exceptional dancer. But it is late, and as most of the students have already gone, I believe I would like to get to bed before 1 am. Goodnight!" She stood, still smiling, he stood with her and she gave him a quick hug goodnight, then left with her skirt swishing about her legs.
She'd returned to her rooms, and stood out on her balcony with a glass of red wine, and a pack of cigarettes. It was 2 am before she changed into a sleeveless nightgown and went to sleep.
She'd had 3 glasses of wine, and finished off the pack of cigarettes in under an hour.
&&&&&& Hospital Wing&&(&&&&&
Anya lay in the bed with her hand clasped tightly by the Potions Master. Severus sat in a chair on the side of the bed, with his head down on the bedside with his arm curled underneath it. He was sleeping...and he was remembering right along with her.
Watching but not being able to do a thing.
It was agony while it was release.
&&&I&&&& Memories&&&&&&&&
Another class. This time a gaggle of Ravenclaw and Hufflpuff 6th years.
"Yes Mr.Ceca, meditation IS important for this kind of defensive magic!" She sighed deeply and addressed the rest of the class. "I KNOW the lot of you are smarter than this! Okay...in all honesty, how many of you have actually been doing you're meditation and grounding exorcises?" About 20 people out of 60 something raised their hands.
Anya's jaw dropped and a vein popped out in her forehead.
"I Do Not Believe this! Its no wonder none of you have been able to keep up a shield for more than 2 minutes! How many times must I drive it into you're skulls?? If you do not meditate and ground you're selves, you will not have the magical energy to keep it up for the amount of time needed. NOR will whatever you cast be strong enough to keep away a fly, much less something like an unmentionable!" She ranted on at the class, seeming to grow in size to her class with every sentence until...
"Assignment, do TOMMOROW!! I want a 5-foot essay on the importance of mediation and grounding for casting wand-less spells and shields. Now get out of here before I make it 10!"
The students ran out of the class as if a dragon were at there heels.
Anya sat down and sighed at her desk. When would these children learn to listen to her! Meditation was VERY important! She knew all to well...
And Severus was whisked off to a worst Memory.
The entire Hospital Wing filled with a cold chilly wind as she remembered it and Severus shivered in his slumber.
And how could you know, that I'm not the average girl,
I'm carrying the weight of the world...
Yeah!
There were ruins. Huge stone ruins that went into a deep lake...they were actually quite picturesque. And there was Anya...but...She looked different. She was running. Her brown hair was matted with blood and sweat and mud and in a long braid down her back, though half of it wasn't quite in the braid anymore.
Her clothing looked oriental, yes...but it was a fighting outfit, tight fitting black pants, underneath a looser black shirt with tight sleeves that went all the way to the middle of her fingers, almost like gloves. There was a red sash of linen tied about her waist, and another about her forehead and a sword was in her hand.
The sword was bloody.
Anya was bloody.
And Anya was running.
Anya was leading a gang of thieves away from an encampment. One that was of woman, children and few surviving men. While they were demons, they were of a weaker and lower class and she had been welcome among them.
Now she was returning the favor.
Unfortunately, she could not keep up her shielding. She had NOT been keeping up on meditations lately. And she paid for it. Keeping up her shield for so long without the energy reserve she usually had for it had only kept for so long, and it had drained her of energy very quickly.
She ran, she'd destroyed as many as she could, and still more kept coming. She was beaten, bloody and bruised but she kept running, stumbling through the ruins that she thankfully knew so well.
She suddenly hit a turn she knew too well and slid underneath a low ledge that went underground where she hid...slowing her breathing and masking her scent with the muck around her so as not to be heard or smelled. She heard them pass by, angry yells and grunts. Smacks of a leader mad at his men for losing a "Weak, indignant female!"
It had only been her second month in Makai, and she had been lucky to live even that long. If it hadn't been for the swift changes the realm had done, she probably wouldn't have.
The witch who was now adorned with white wings, black panthers ears, black claws, orange cat eyes and a black panthers tail was scared out of her mind and thanked every god and goddess she could for finding the ruins that first month.
"Dear gods...I want to go home..."
She'd curled up into a little ball, and bruised, battered, beaten and bloody, covered in mud in the cold ground underneath the stone floor of a ruined city, cried herself to sleep. At least all those little kits and cubs and moms and sisters and brothers and fathers were safe...
So ended the memory.
So can you get me out of here??Take me away! Jump in the Car!
Drive till the gas runs out and we've walked so far!
And we can't see this place anymore!
Take a day off! Give it a rest!
So we can forget about this mess!
If I lighten up a little bit..I will be...
Over it!
November 1st, a Saturday.
Anya stood outside the Potions Master's rooms again at 7 on a Saturday. She knocked loudly and was greeted by a scowling potions master in a robe, an open robe, and green lucky clover boxers. Anya had to stifle her laugh under her hand and gave a slight snort instead. "Well...we've answered the highly asked question: Boxers or Briefs!" She exclaimed happily but quietly as she stepped passed the now slightly blushing Severus, who was quickly pulling his robe closed. She took note...he really did have a VERY nice physique!
"Hurry up and Change Sev! It's a Hogsmede weekend and We're chaperones!" She beamed at him with another warm smile.
"Right...Just sit down in the living area and I'll be out in a few moments." He kept on Scowling at her and changed in his rooms. When he came back out Anya stood and smiled appreciatively. He wore a dark green Turtleneck with black jeans and had some type of black shoes underneath. He grabbed his cloak (black as well...go figure.) and gestured towards the door. "Shall we leave then?" He asked her in a neutrally kind tone.
"Lets!" she agreed enthusiastically and hooked her arm in his. He didn't push her away or unlock there arms.
They had finally come to an understanding it seemed. Not just an understanding...but more of a friendship.
They went down to breakfast...and once in Hogsmede she dragged him all over the place. First of all was Honeydukes.
"Oh I absolutely LOVE this place Sev! Don't you??" She asked as she dragged him over to the fudge selection.
"Uh..well...sure." He agreed just to answer her. He didn't have much of a sweet tooth. Except for the fudge. He actually found himself chuckling as she shared the tab for about 20 pounds of fudge between the two.
"I guess you like fudge just as much as I do." She chuckled as they sat down in the Three Broomsticks and ordered two Butterbeer's.
"I do indeed Anya." There was a nice silence and then Anya dragged him off to look at the many clothing stores. Then to the bookstore. Then back to the broomsticks for an early dinner and finally it was time to go back to the school.
((((( Back in the Hospital Wing((((((
Lying in the bed, a smile began to grace Anya's face and icy chill that filled the room before dissapaited.
If I lighten up a little bit, then I will be...Over it.
