Hey guys…this might be my last update till next week because I'm probably not going to be home most of this weekend. The song in this chapter is "Honestly" by Bethany Joy Lenz…I'm sorry if this chapter sucks…I've been having some trouble with it lately…

Disclaimer: I don't own Degrassi or any of the characters…even though I do wish I owned Mike Lobel…lol j/k…


(Alex's Point of View)

What the hell were Emma and Jay doing sitting in my living room. That bitch was probably to scared to bring his car around here ever since me and Ellie hid it (two weeks after we did Ellie gave in and told Sean who told Jay where to find it). Emma was sitting on Jay's lap and they were basically making out. Ellie gave me a sympathetic look which told me that it wasn't here idea to have them over.

"Hey Alex. Did you find out what the baby is going to be?" I knew Ellie couldn't wait to hear what I was having ever since she found out she was having a boy.

"Yea it's going to be a girl. I was thinking about telling her dad but he's to much of a jackass to care anyway." I wouldn't take my eyes off of Ellie because that would mean I would look at them and I didn't want to see what they were doing.

"Well now look at that. The world will have another little slut like Alex when it's born so all the boys can go have fun with her." I took a deep breath. I wasn't going to get worked up over this little bitch.

"Go fuck yourself Emma. I'll be in the kitchen." I heard her shout something out that sounded like 'that's okay that's what I've got Jay for' Stupid bitch. I looked over at the keyboard that was situated in the corner with music sitting on top, Ellie and Sean had bought it for me for my birthday a month ago. Before they got me that I spent every single day after school in the music room playing…it helped me keep my mind off things that would bug me or cause me to get worked up. I took my seat in front of it and ran my fingers over the keys, this was the one thing that kept me sane. Once I found the right place I needed I began to play and sing a song that I had been working on...from what I had come up with so far I loved this song and it meant a lot to me.

Honestly I didn't mean to cry so hard the heartache was pouring in like rain

I didn't mean to show I care

Honestly I didn't mean to laugh so loud but it just sounds

so absurd to say that you want me

Say that you need me after everything you've done

Really truly I didn't mean to hurt you I just thought that maybe now

We'd have better luck the second time around

Its always better the second time I hear

Find me in the evening when your ready to dance

And I will take you to places

Where you never thought you'd have the chance to love

Love

Love is all we have

I will run myself in circles here without you

Please believe that I tried my best to forget you

But the memories keep flooding back like tears

I didn't mean to fall in love

But sitting here waiting for this is torture

I'm so glad you're far away

Is that a terrible thing to say?

When I was done I could hear screaming coming from the other room…who could that be?

"Don't you dare talk about my best friend like that. You don't know anything about the things that have happened to her in the past so you can't say shit. Do you know who got her pregnant? Huh Emma? YOU FUCKING BOYFRIEND! So don't you ever say a single word about her. You're not even good enough to say her name." I don't think I've ever heard Ellie scream so much. "Get the hell out of my house. And don't you ever think about coming back either."

"Ellie calm down" Sean was going to pay hell tonight for bringing them here. "El, come on just go into the kitchen and chill out. you shouldn't be getting worked up it's not good for either of you." I watched as a very pissed looking Ellie threw the door to the kitchen open and stomped in.

"She said that we were nothing but sluts who slept with guys and got pregnant so we could force them to stay with us because we know that no one else would want us." I didn't give a shit if Emma talked about me but I wasn't going to let her come in here and talk about a friend of mine. I walked into the living room, Jay and Emma were about to walk out of the house. But I grabbed Emma's arm and turned her towards me, I swung at her the hardest I think I've ever swung at anyway and my fist came in contact with her jaw. She went flying backwards and once she regained her composure she started to come after me but Jay grabbed her and dragged her out.

"Alex!" Ellie didn't look to happy with me…"You can't do that, you have the baby to worry about. I know how you feel though I wanted to hit her too. And you" she turned to Sean who just looked away. "what the hell were you thinking when you brought them over to our house? You know what happened with him and Alex…"

"yea well maybe if Alex got her own place we wouldn't have to worry about this happening again" I knew that lately Sean had hated having me living there but I didn't think that he would tell me to get my own place…I don't even know where I would go.

"I'll just get out of your way then" I grabbed my jacket and walked out of the house. I heard Ellie call my name but I ignored her and kept walking. I wish I had somewhere to go…at Ellie's I feel like I'm imposing on her and Sean. But there's not many other places I could go. And here I am yet again, like a couple months ago, sitting on the school steps crying my eyes out. I wish I could go back to two months ago. I wouldn't have freaked out on Jay about the whole Emma thing but I couldn't help it I was a moody, teenage pregnant girl…and I let that get the best of me. I realize now that Emma was probably lying about the whole pregnancy thing just so she could split me and Jay up.

"Why is it that whenever something good starts to happen in my life something else has to come along and ruin it?" I wiped at the tears falling from my eyes but it didn't help. "Great and now I'm talking to myself." The rustling leaves and the blowing wind caught my attention and for a second I thought that I saw someone in the shadows. But when I looked behind me I saw a very familiar figure coming towards me. "What are you doing here?" I simply asked, not in a rude way but just as a simple question.

"I was just about to ask you the same thing" he still looked at me with his icy blue eyes but he took a seat next to me which I wasn't expecting him to do. "I've got nothing better to do and I was just in a thinking mood. How about you?"

"You mean your actually talking to me and not calling me fat or a slut?" His eyes softened a little and I could tell that he did feel bad for all of that. "you know I don't care what other people think about me or say. But the fact that it was you was what hurt." He gave me a questioning look and I didn't want to explain it further. "Whatever it's not like you care anyway."

"You still never answered my question" I always wondered how he could do that, he could just ignore what someone said because he didn't want to answer it. So he would switch subjects…


Again I am so sorry if this chapter sucks…but even if you think it does leave me a review and tell me how to make it better…please?

Taryn