"Quid sum miser tunc dicturus? Quem patronum rogaturus cum vix justus sit securus?"- Tuba Mirum, Mozart's Requiem

"What shall a wretch like me say? Who shall intercede for me when the just ones need mercy?"- The Trumpet Sounds, Mozart's Requiem

Seras tugged at the hem of her skirt again and sighed. Captain Bernadette had not arrived. Seven sharp, that was the unchanging drill time. The wake up call at six thirty, was it that difficult? Granted she could sleep in till eight if it was possible but she was able to appear on time. She had hoped a good training session would make up for getting lost the night before to Sir Integra.

Where is he? Let's give him a few more minutes. I owe that man. Time ticked on. And it became harder for her to say that it was just a simple case of running late.

"Does anyone have the time?" she asked aloud.

"Seven twenty five," came the reply from the soldiers who lazily stood in their scrimmage squads.

A growl escaped the vampire girl's throat. "Right then, we can't wait up for the captain any longer. Let's begin. I want teams A and C to head to the shooting range. Please do notice that we have new civilian targets, so have a keen eye and take advantage of the night vision scopes. In the meantime, teams B and D head to the obstacle course in two lines. Each line will compete with the other in matters of time. Can I trust you blokes to work while I go and see what's keeping Bernadette?" she looked into the face of each man, searching for the slightest indication of mischief. The police girl wasn't sure if she should be happy about the lack of response.

"And might I add that Sir Integra will be stopping by during the drills." Slack, careless faces tightened. If you don't intimidate, find someone who can. "Glad we have an understanding. Move out!"

Victoria made sure that everyone was to their designated exercises before she turned away back to the manor. She stepped in a puddle at the steps of the entry way. I hope it's just a mistake. Rain water will now always remind her of him. A frown came to her as doubt wormed its way in. Just when I was thinking that he wasn't such a creep after all, he goes and pulls this. What next? Every soldier decides to just sleep in? I know I'm just a girl but that doesn't mean that you can walk all over me.

By the time Seras reached Pip's door she had worked herself up into a fury. Her balled fist connected with the door as she knocked to wake the dead. "Captain Bernadette! You were supposed to be outside a half an hour ago!"

There was a muffled sound, like blankets parting. She pressed her ear against the wood to hear, "Huh? Wuh?"

For the love of… What is he doing in there? "Pip? Are you decent?" she turned the door knob finding it unlocked.

Seras's jaws dropped.

Bernadette was in a strange limbo between nudity and clothed modesty sprawled across his bed. The lightly tanned expanse of his chest was looked exceedingly inviting against the plain blue bedding bunched around him. The sight of that much skin was a shock to her system. But what was more shocking were the pair of flannel pants riding low over his hips revealing a pair of red boxer shorts that had slid so far down his waist so show the indentations where his legs met his hips. The muscles of his arm rippled as he stretched to scratch his head.

"C-c-captain Pip?"

A blue green eye lazily opened, hazy with sleep. "Bonjour, cher," his voice had a gravely quality that made the red surfacing on the girl's face deepen. "I'll be up in a second."

Stop ogling! That's what he'd do! You're angry remember! She shook her head hard and planted her hands on her hips."Don't you French talk me! You're late!"

Pip groaned as he sat up, Seras noticed that he didn't sleep with his eye patch on and his long bangs created a curtain over the scar tissue lid, giving the illusion of two eyes. Bernadette picked up an alarm clock that rested on the nightstand, after shaking it and holding it at an angle he could see, than unceremoniously dropped it on the floor. "So sorry, I didn't even hear the damn thing. I'm gettin' up. I swear."

It was then that Victoria took a step back to study him. He looked awfully pale in the face. There wasn't any alcohol on his breath so it was not a hangover that gave him a fatigued look. "Are you ok? You look peaky." She bent over, putting her hands on her knees. Bernadette leaned back onto his hands, swaying slightly to look her in the face the same way she did to him. "Do you have a fever?" Seras placed the back of her hand on his head.

He hissed at the contact. Idiot, your cold hands can be felt right through the gloves! She at once started to pull away, but he caught her wrist and held the hand where it was. "No need to pull away, it feels good."

Seras tried to ignore the comment; sure enough he did have a fever. The heat off of his skin was warmer than she remembered it being. "It must have been from last night in the rain! Aw, Captain I'm sorry!"

Pip's brow furrowed, still holding her hand there. "I'll be fine. Just gimme a few moments and I'll be out."

"Don't be stupid! You're sick!"

He grunted and reached for a cigarette with his free hand, still keeping her hand on his forehead. "Nah. It'll pass," he muttered. After inhaling, he coughed and held the smoldering cig away so that he wouldn't blow it out. After a few more moments of interchanging puffs and coughs, Bernadette extinguished the cigarette.

"If you are not feeling well and go with the other men you'll infect everyone! Stay here, rest." Seras looked down at him, he would not let her move away from him.

"Infect? It isn't SARS, girl. If anything, it's just a bit of a bug nothing to go ape over."

"That's all it takes to bring a man down if he decides to go and make it worse by marching around in the dark. You're staying here, that's final."

He looked up at her, letting go of her hand at last. A smirk came to his lips. "You're a nurse as well as a police girl? Mmm. I want to see that outfit on you. That'd make me feel better."

Seras pulled back completely and crossed her arms. "Even when you aren't in complete health you're a pervert."

Bernadette snickered then erupted into coughs and waved away her concern. "I'm not sick, really. It's nothing. So long as I don't break out into spots I'm fine."

"Do you have wax in your ears? Sir Integra will not want you around the other soldiers like this. Sickness spreads fast in close quarters."

"Not a chance, girl. I've got to work. I'll be careful and I won't breathe on anyone." His braid swayed from side to side as he unsteadily got to his feet and attempted to pull his pants on properly. When that was accomplished he started off to his wardrobe.

"You are not leaving!"

Blushing, Seras grabbed him around the chest from behind as he tried to reach for a shirt. Pip didn't resist, he stopped his efforts to move away, taken by surprise as much as she by the action. His hands moved to gently encase her wrists and moved her hands from his chest to down to his waist then back up, lazily. Muscles rippled under her fingertips. Bernadette stood up straight and leaned back against her so that her cheek settled between his shoulder blades. His skin was warm, searing where hers was cool. The meeting of the two was breathtaking. A low sound rumbled in Pip's chest she didn't dare to identify as rational thought stirred her mind back to reality. Seras had intended to just restrain him but the way she fit against him and how he reacted to her changed it from a hold to an embrace.

"L-let me go, you pervert," her voice failed to have the conviction that it needed to be effective.

"You're holding on to me first, girl," he replied coyly.

"You aren't leaving," she repeated.

"Is that an order Senior Officer Victoria?"

She could hear his heart beating and feel the words rumble in his chest. "Yes. Yes it is, Captain."

"Then I can't argue." His hands fell away from hers but heat still lingered. She pulled away from him, holding a hand to her heart. If Seras were alive, it would be beating a mile a minute.

He turned to her, single eye not missing the hitch in her breathing or the flood of color on her face. "Promise to come back and keep my fever down if I stay here like a good boy? I'm not too good at staying down and resting when I'm sick." Pip coughed again and this time it was purposely pathetic. If she hadn't known better, she would have thought that he had become ill on purpose.

Seras sighed. "I'll be back if I can. I don't want Sir Integra to get the wrong idea." Did I just say that? Oh please… no!

He slowly sat down on the bed and fluffed his pillow, turned mostly away from her. "Whatever do you mean by that, Police Girl?"

Is-is that a smile? Let's not read into anything. He's got womanizer written all over his face. You're just another prey in his sights. It's his nature…isn't it? Oh god. Why is he looking at me like that again? What do you want from me Pip?

"N-nothing," she sighed and looked to the ground. There was a slipper that was close to her foot, she scooted it under the bed. "Stop calling me Police Girl."

"Can you get me a shirt before you leave? There's a flannel one on the dresser."

She found the garment easily and picked it up, the potent smell of cigarettes and a fresh soap tickled her nose as she set it onto the bed. "Anything else?" Seras put as much annoyance as she could muster in her voice.

"What are you frowning for? Smile."

Playing into his hands, egging him on… I should not be so worked up. That's what keeps him going. Captain Bernadette and the Geese have been here almost three weeks. It's not going to change. Get used to it. He's around all the time. He's only trying to get under my skin. Yes. That is it the source of all the dirty songs, perverted comments and arguments. Hm. Well if that's all he's got then he better try harder. I'm not going to let him get to me.

Seras Victoria over and again tried to rationalize why she smiled at him but the reason wasn't becoming any clearer. One explanation led to more questions. She wished that puberty hadn't come so soon for her so that she would have been able to understand the way older boys ticked.

As she made her way to the shooting range to check up on the Geese she saw the familiar silhouette-- Sir Integra, arms crossed. Bugger! I thought she wouldn't be observing till later! She picked up the pace and greeted her chief directly. "Evening, Sir."

Integra didn't look away from the field but recognized her presence with a nod. "Is it wise to leave the men unattended like that?"

The vampire winced and stood before her boss, that hand she held up in salute dropped to her side. "Erm, very sorry about that, Sir Integra. I was seeing what was keeping Captain Bernadette."

Integra took the cigar from her lips and raised an eyebrow. "Oh, is that so?"

Seras frowned. "Yes, I was—I… That is… Erm." What was I?

"Yes?"

"I was concerned, Sir. I felt suspicious when he didn't arrive and thought that perhaps something had happened. As it turns out he's fallen ill from last night's mission in the rain."

The head of Hellsing sighed in a stream of smoke. "I'm glad he didn't appear then. Our flu vaccine budget was cut significantly to speed up the renovations after the Valentines. I shall tell the cook to start serving soup more often and double the citrus intake." She shook her head. "Every year in addition to vampires we have to fight the flu. Alucard finds this hilarious."

Victoria could hear him laughing just thinking about it. She crossed her arms. "He would."

"Tell me, how are the men doing?"

"They've improved greatly. Our soldiers and the Geese are becoming fast friends, which is all well and good but," she sighed, "I just don't feel they are taking me seriously."

Integra snickered as she pulled the cigar from her mouth. She saw the look on the vampire girl's face, "Excuse me, surely you too find it bit humorous." Seras's facial expression didn't change. "It takes time to earn their respect, it is a slow process. You are doing fine. If you gain Bernadette's trust the others will follow suit without trouble."

Gain his trust? "Yes Sir."

For a moment the two were silent. Seras fidgeted nervously, even though Integra was looking ahead watching the soldiers she felt as though she were under scrutiny. Such an intimidating woman. Integra dropped her cigar and crushed it beneath her shoe. "Let's go and check their aim."

Bernadette slid in and out of sleep so many times he wasn't sure if he was awake when the swirling ceiling fan caught his attention. He blinked slowly and the sight before him didn't change. Did I turn it on? I can't remember. He sat up, instantly regretting it. "Ugh my head," he groaned. "Water…that'd feel good."

Somehow, Pip made it to his bathroom without falling over. He turned on the cold water full blast and splashed himself in the face. The mirror collected the drops that didn't return to the sink, one reflection was all it could hold. Sighing at the instant relief that it brought to his skin, he fumbled for the hand towel that was usually sitting along the sink. No towel was to be found so he pulled his sleeve across his face. Pip's vision blurred to a haze of red when he opened his eye.

"W-what?" clumsily he backed away from the mirror. Pip knew this shade of red. "Alucard…" The vampire did not say anything, the cold expression in the eyes were enough, even with diminished sight the captain could make them out. "Oi, fucker! I'm talking to you! Yeah, yeah did speak up for the Police Girl. So shit fucking what? It was nothing, hell I'd be more than happy to do it again because it was just that fun, Monsieur! Now get out of--" Pip cried out as a knife of pain caught him by surprise.

The mind is a terrifying weapon, Captain. Memory is explosive, wouldn't you say? Criticizing me can be very hazardous to your health.

Bernadette clutched his skull, swaying. Panic equaled his pain. The cool tile bathroom became unbearably hot around him, sweltering. White became green, a lush over grown green. Without knowing what was going on, Pip felt dread. The call of an exotic bird was a death knell in the quiet. His vision sharpened and focused. He sat amidst a clearing, the tree arrangements as he recalled them. "I'm n-not here. This isn't real. Mon Dieu…not here. This is all a dream!" Or was it? The smell of earth and the tangible heat as fresh as could be. Just as it is…was… The captain felt across his face, reaching for his eye. "W-where am I? What is this?" He reached out and grabbed a leaf, crushing it tightly in his fist. Green oozed through his fingertips as the leaf bled out its stored moisture against the hot African climate. Beyond the leaf he spied movement and reached for a gun that wasn't here.

To his left, a young brunette crouched in the brush, his gun nestled lovingly in his hands just as Pip remembered seeing him last, arms and legs still attached. "Cork! You-you son of a bitch, you're alive! Wait. No. This can't be. It's impossible." The soldier gave no reply but sat back, looking around the wild lands around them, listening. Around him sat his comrades, the entire Wild Geese battalion. Confusion and joy swelled in his heart. What's going on? Was Hellsing a dream? No fighting vampires, no lady knight, no Police Girl, no batshit crazy vampire…

Rupert on Pip's right gave a low whistle. He was missing the scar down his cheek that looked like Italy and the droop in his jaw that made them all call him The Godfather. "Something's coming. Do we move, Captain?"

"NO! Hommes, there is a group of fifty or sixty beyond the trees. We've got to move! If we trace back to the watering hole we'll be safe." Those were not the words that hit the air. His voice betrayed him giving the command, "yes, head forward and stay low, guns at the ready."

The forest became a tumult of gunfire as the Geese moved from their positions. "Run! Everyone fall back and run!" Cork fell back onto Pip, blood warmer than the air. "Cork…n-no…" He looked down into his comrade's face. It was gray and withered. The mouth that had flung open to cry out in pain now gaped ready to consume.

"Ghoul?" Pip flung the man from him, backing into a tree. In the shade the bright burning heat of day became night, his vision decreased. "F-fuck…this isn't real! This isn't real!" One fallen Goose after another turned, crouched like wild dogs, guns forsaken for teeth and fists as they rounded on their captain. Pip's voice echoed out through the forest with no reply but the deafening gun fire from enemies behind the trees. He had to run. There was no other option. Bullets slid through him. Bernadette knew he was bleeding but not where or how he managed to keep running as he was with wounds. Pain was everywhere around him, in his legs, arms, face, and most of all in the unseeing eye beneath the shredded lid.

Afraid? I'm surprised I had to go this far to get you to be so, Captain. If I didn't know any better I'd say you had your own moments of madness.

He was over taken, the snarling faces no longer distinguishable. Was it over now? No.

The hunt ended in a blink. Bernadette was on his back in darkness. The yellow light of a lantern illuminated the figures of the natives. "H-help me. Oh god please…H-help me.." he had begged. In English, in French, in the bits of the collective languages of the area and still they picked over his broken body taking what weapons and goods to trade, deaf to his pleas. He was not going to die, not yet and not here. He reached for his hand gun and found that it was with him this time.

How do you define monster, Bernadette?

"It-it never happened that way… This is all your doing." Pip closed his eye tightly. "Fucking bastard!"

The figure closest to him leaned forward, pale skin and red eyes separating him from the rest of the vultures. An icy hand touched his forehead, lizard like so different from the hand that was upon his head last. "Is it, now? These images were already here." Bernadette groaned, his hand shook as he took aim. This had to end. "Yes. That's right. Even if you never killed the raiders you wanted to, the desire is tangible and real as can be. But really," he leaned closer, "I know what happened. Despite your handicap, your aim is ever true."

"W-what the fuck do you want from me?"

Alucard's grin grew wider. The thief next to Pip shoved him onto his side, healing wounds disrupted. "I can't have you tampering with my business."

The captain hissed in pain, he clutched the gun as if it were a holy relic. "S-shit. Seras isn't business. She's a girl, a good girl. Y-you can't change that. Bothers the hell out of you, d-don't it?"

"You are as savage and brutal as I am, as the Police Girl and you speak of good, mercenary?"

"Maybe you're right a-about me…" a defeated sneer came to his lips as he pulled his trigger. The smiling vampire face above him exploded in blood and bone. "But she's not like us."

Around him Uganda shred to pieces revealing glaring white tile beyond the darkness. Pip lay on his back, sweat beading on his skin. For several breaths, he just took in his surroundings. Safe… you are safe. He stood shaking at last and went back to bed to lay and wait for sleep. Each sound of the household- the click of the heater, footsteps down the hall, brought panic. Familiarity was taunting in its easy existence.

What if he fell asleep? Would all be a brief dream? He would wake alone and be waiting to die.

Training hadn't gone as bad as she thought it would after Integra arrived. Especially in comparison to the day chili was served. The entire group's accuracy had improved by leaps and bounds. Despite her frustrations, Seras felt that she could trust the Wild Geese. They may be a bunch of clowns to be around, but they were as good soldiers as any. Hopefully we will all be on good terms and trust one another completely soon. I'm glad that things are looking up. She walked down to the dungeon levels and stopped in her room only to change into some casual clothing, preferably nothing with a skirt. Seras tugged on a pair of jeans and a long sleeve shirt.

Just a visit, he'll probably be sleeping. I wish I could have slept today. The image of Pip sprawled out in sleep appeared in her mind, his mouth half open. I wish a lot of things. She made sure that there was no one in the hallway as she left her room. The last thing she needed was a brutal talking to by her master. Before long she stood in front of the door with the sign that read Captain P. Bernadette, a weight settled in her stomach.

I did promise but…should I leave him alone and let him sleep?

Logic said yes. A sick man needs his rest after all. It's so quiet, he has to be sleeping.

Intuition said no. There was an unsettling hum in the air around her that increased as she stepped close to put her ear to the door.

She softly tapped and heard no reply. Rather than knocking louder, Seras opened the door and entered shutting it quickly and quietly behind her. The room was dark, her eyes adjusted to darkness not quite caught up with her movements.

"Don't you move, you son of a bitch! I've got silver with your name on it! You got me once and you're not going to do it again!"

Victoria heard a click. She didn't dare move a muscle; this voice was so rough and angry. "Pip?" she managed to squeak out. Was that even Pip?

The lamp on the nightstand flicked on, she squinted at the rapid change from light to dark. Pip sat up against the head board, shotgun tightly clasped in hand, the barrel tilted toward her, "Police Girl?" The captain blinked once and once more, eye going wide with disbelief. He looked down to the mattress guiltily. The pale complexion she noticed earlier now looked even more sallow in the scarcely lit corner, he hadn't gotten any sleep. "I-I was…"

"Can you put the gun down, Captain?" she spoke as gently as she could, ignoring his use of her disliked nickname. Victoria gave him a smile, the effort made her face hurt. What is the matter with you? I would never hurt you, dummy! I'm not like him!

Bernadette bent down slowly, legs dangling over the edge, keeping balance by gripping the edge of the nightstand and shoved the gun under the bed. He stayed crouched down like that as she slowly approached him watching the tension in him increase. "Seras, f-for a second I thought that," he shook his inclined head, braid tapering down the side of the bed to brush against the floor, "never mind."

She carefully approached the bed and sat beside him. "You look like you've seen a ghost."

He did not sit up yet. In fact he bent lower until his head nearly touched his knees. Seras saw his shoulders shake, was he laughing? "Go on to your room," Pip spoke at last after a long pause, his voice held the slightest vibration, "get to bed, and have sweet dreams, girl. Leave me."

"Hey! You asked me to come back and here I am." Here she was, at last, worked up having over thought the scenario all evening and he was turning her away! It wasn't easy to get to this point. "I keep my word."

I don't want her to see me like this. I don't want pity. Bernadette shook his head again, vigorously this time, his braid lashing like a whip. "I'm fine."

"Captain Bernadette," Seras put her hand on his shoulder, muscles bunched. He lifted his head, bangs shifted so that a stormy sea eye looked at her with not only distress but suspicion. Are you here to get an eyeful of a mutt without morals? Going to judge me like everyone else, Seras? "Pip, let me help you." This was more than a bout of the flu, she could gather that much. Nonetheless, she meant every word.

Help? Look at me! I mean really look at me! In the lamp light there was no way that the scarred tissue over his eye could be hidden from her sight. "You can't help, go on and rest. This is my problem. I'll be well enough soon."

Just leave me alone so I can pick up the pieces. No one else can help me.

"How can you be so certain of that, Captain?" She met his gaze bravely. There was no pity in those bright blue eyes that held him firmly in place. "We can't have you off your feet for long. I-I'll watch you till you sleep."

The captain closed his eye tightly. Her statement, simple and innocent, broke something inside of him. He sat up and turned to her. His lips moved to protest, to turn her away. No sound came from his mouth as her hand touched his cheek. Pip had no idea how heated his skin became until she stroked her bare fingertips across his face. She was so cool and inviting.

Those eyes were so large, trusting this man before her, this soldier without country or kin. She scooted closer to him. I understand. Let me fight with you, Pip. Sometimes you can't make it on your own.

D-did she just say…? His limbs felt heavy as he leaned forward into her touch. Sleep hung heavy over him; His blearily opened eye was fixed on her full lips. "I don't want to fight right now, cherie" Pip gave her as big of a smile as he could make.

I just want…

Balance along with his resistance fell away.Seras sat stock still as he leaned against her, his head a valued and heavy weight on her shoulder. She was glad that he could not see her face with his own pressed against the skin of her neck. This was not what she had in mind yet she didn't say a word. Victoria carefully put her arms around him feeling the hard muscles slowly fall out of taut bunches. Bernadette breathed deeply and loudly, her own breathing was irregular.

W-what is this? What is this feeling? She had never been so close to a grown man since Alucard had changed her. This was a completely different. Seras held her breath as his hot hands gripped her waist and slid around to be closer to her. An electric shock of fear made her stiffen spread through her. She bit her lip to keep the irrational need to scream at bay. The vampire girl shut her eyes tightly refusing to allow the image to surface. No. He wouldn't do anything to hurt me. Not like that… pervert or not.

Pip could feel her obvious discomfort even though he was half asleep. "I'm sorry," he mumbled almost incoherently, lips brushed against her skin. "You just feel so good…I'll move…" His weight shifted with the effort, "just gimme…a second or so."

Exciting, frightening…

"No, Captain." Seras whispered and leaned her head against his. The panic that had come to her so quickly went away at the sleepy slur of his voice. I'm safe with you. She closed her eyes, feeling his warmth seep through her skin.

Integra didn't lift her eyes from her paper work. "Don't think that I don't know what you've been up to today. You've been tampering with the limits of the seal."

"Are you jealous that I wandered through someone else's psyche?" He shifted through the wall to stand close to the desk, still denied her eye contact.

"I want to know what you are up to."

Alucard gave a brief laugh and turned to the pair of eyes that never left him while in this room. The ever present portrait of Arthur Hellsing was a testament to authority, to stubbornness. For a few moments the vampire challenged the depths of the eyes that the painter had managed to capture the elder Hellsing's spirit in. "This place has become a sanctuary for lost souls as of late."

The paper work dropped from her grasp. The click of a lighter and stench of cigar smoke filled the air. "Speak for yourself, Alucard. Who has bothered you enough to take action? Answer me."

"I have no quarrel with anyone, Master."

"Captain Bernadette has fallen ill, the first victim of this season of the flu." Integra eyed him carefully.

"Is that so? Rather early this year."

"Quite." At last, she stared into his face. "Just how much did it bother you that he went back for Seras?"

A wrinkle of disgust marred his lineless face. "Why speak of mere trifles not worthy of our attention?"

She stood and smoothed lines out of her charcoal suit and stood before her father's portrait, affection and pleasure in her eyes. "I know you and your pride, vampire."

"And I yours, Sir Hellsing. It's delicious."

"Hassle the captain again and I shall find a way to make you ill."

"If he learned his lesson, it won't happen again although your threat does sound promising."

Integra smiled and removed the smoldering cigar from her lips. "You are agitated that he is threatening your influence over the police girl."

He stared long into her face. She nearly thought that he had become too lost in his thoughts to answer. Integra was proved wrong when at last his lips parted, "Yes. I am, among other things."