Dear Diary,

Have I mentioned how brilliant I am for putting a Starbucks in Wayne Manor? Because I am currently sipping a peppermint mocha Frappucino in the Batcave as I write this. This is just awesome!

Had a surprise visit from my "eldest son" today, chasing down some drug ring from Blüdhaven. In fact, Dick's still sitting to my left with some Chai and a pumpkin scone.

Heh. His name's "Dick."

He hates it when I make that joke. Then again, he also hates it when I beat his sorry bitch ass at Soul Calibur II, but whatever.

I have to ask though...what self-respecting people name their son Richard and then choose "Dick" as his nickname? That's just asking for him to become either a porn star or a politician. Furthermore, what child goes along with it? I mean, he may as well tell people to call him Willy or Woody or even Schlong, for Christ's sake.

So anyways, Night-Wang and I were on patrol this evening and everything was routine until we went to a warehouse over in the waterfront district. It seemed like a simple drug ring, nothing major, when out of nowhere these tall women with big hair started attacking us with their sequined Versace handbags and calling us voyeurs.

We were both appalled, until they realized who we were. Then they not only apologized, but were really nice! One in particular, calling herself Lady Chardonnay, talked clothing with me for a while. She's a big Burberry fan too!

Night-Wang kept muttering something about the ladies being queens. Not sure what he meant, although Chardonnay did seem pretty regal. Must be the height. Anyways, we had a great time just chatting with the girls, although Cock got a little panicky and yelped something about needing to go quickly, which I found to be pretty rude.

"The Queens were coming on to me, Bruce! They had their hands in places that are not meant for them!"

What a whiner.

Firstly, with me there, who the hell is going to hit on him? Cowl or no cowl, I'm far prettier than he is! Secondly, what's the big deal about some perfectly nice young women being friendly? I pointed out their resemblance to Starfire and he got a little pale and asked me to never mention it again.

He needs to lighten up, Diary. I mean, really.

Also had my first salsa lesson today. It went very, very well if I may say so. My instructor, Enrique, was very patient and attentive, and he also mentioned that he liked how my sweater brought out my eyes. I thanked him because, really, it was true. Midnight blue is very becoming on me.

Of course, I'd be coming if I was on me too. Oh God, I'm hilarious!

I'll have to remember to speak with Alfred concerning my birthday fiesta plans. So far I have Kylie Minogue, Justin Timberlake, Hilary Duff (Is she legal yet? Rowr!), and Usher for music, but I feel I need more. I'll continue to ponder this as I have time.

IMPORTANT THINGS OF NOTE:

Meeting Time Tomorrow: 10:00 AM in Wayne Enterprises Main Conference Room

Days Until I am Sexiest Man Alive: 33 (It's currently 2:30 AM)

Need to have Alfred purchase new Armani slacks for trip to Metropolis

Song of the Moment: "Say You'll be There" by the Spice Girls (Man, I miss them. Maybe if I pay them enough, they'll have a reunion. Hm, this idea has merit.)

That's all for tonight, Diary. For now, I must school Prick over there in the fine art of Smash Brothers Melee.

Bruce Wayne