Explanations
It's finally here! Oh, thank God, when you're awake at 3 am writer's block just doesn't exist! I can't STOP writing! I wrote this, most of the following chapter, the finale of Through the Compact Disc (the chpater in between is halfway through, 2 chapters left guys!), and I've already updated Fallen. Hopefully you all haven't forgotten me, or Connie and Connor here . Well you probably want this as fast as possible... so TADA!
The phone rang next to Gerald's head. He sat up from his bed and picked it up, smiling. "This is Gerald Johansson," he said stylishly, "how may I help you?"
"Hello Gerald," said a voice fro the other end. "I'm sure you know who this is."
Gerald at first didn't recognize the voice, but a quick check of his caller ID told him the identity. He narrowed his eyes and growled, "What do you want Rhonda?"
"How'd you know it was me?" Rhonda cried, as if it should be a complete mystery.
Gerald almost smiled. "Well, you see Rhonda, there's this really cool thing called technology that-"
"Save the sarcasm, Gerald," interrupted Rhonda. "I need to talk to you, since you seem to be on the inside."
"No," he said, and moved the phone to the hook. He could hear Rhonda's protests from arm's length. He dropped his head in annoyance and against all his better judgment moved the phone back to his ear. "Hey."
"I know you weren't going to hang up on me, Gerald!" she yelled into his ear. She continued ranting like this until someone with her shushed her and reminded her of whatever it was she had called for. "Oh, yes, of course. Thank you, Lila."
Lila? Gerald glared into the phone. He thought Lila was on their side. Why was She bothering him along with Rhonda?
"Anyways, I apologize for my tirade," she said, much calmer now. She almost sounded civilized. "Well, Gerald, I have a few simple questions to ask you. For most of them, all you have to do is say yes or no!"
"This isn't for some crazy gossip column, is it?"
"That depends on how agreeable your information is."
"My information on what exactly?" he asked innocently. It was obvious what it was, but he wanted to play around with her mind as much as he could.
"About Arnold and Helga!" she exclaimed. "I mean, it's rather obvious that something completely outrageous happened to cause this crazy event." She laughed at the humor she found in it all. "I know that you can't stand Helga. Frankly, neither can I, so I figured that you and I would be on the same team to help our good friend."
Gerald was confused now. "What are you talking about?" he asked.
"Well, this coupling is outrageous!" Rhonda said as if it were obvious.
Gerald actually agreed. It was outrageous, but apparently for Arnold it wasn't. He'd already vowed not to try to intervene or poke the subject. No way was he going to help Rhonda.
"I think that Helga did something to Arnold to make him agree," she continued. "Now, Lila here told me to call you and ask you whether or not you think this whole thing is valid or not."
So Lila wasn't them. She was trying to find a way to convince Rhonda to leave them alone. That was one concern off of his back.
"Listen, Rhonda baby," he said casually. He didn't want to start her up again. "Trust me on this: I'm not crazy about Helga. I didn't like her at all until today."
"So you agree with me, then."
Gerald grinned. "Actually, I couldn't disagree with you more."
"What?" Rhonda asked, taken aback. "But you just said-"
"What I said," he interrupted, "was that I didn't like Helga very much. But I'm not Arnold, am I?"
"Look, answer my question, Johansson," she replied. "My impatience is growing."
"You never technically asked a question."
"Do you think Arnold make a good couple or not?" she yelled.
"Yes!" he screamed back. "You know what else I think? You and your constant prying into other people's lives is possibly the most uncool thing I've ever seen you do."
Rhonda gasped dramatically while Gerald smiled with satisfaction. "How dare you insult me like that!" she said, sounding utterly weakened. Gerald could almost feel her anger slowly rise, even though she was silent. "Perhaps you believe this complete nonsense is true," she growled, "but I am sure that more people are on my side than yours."
"Rhonda you're being just so ridiculous!" Lila argued from the other end of the phone.
"No, both of you have been brainwashed or something," said Rhonda. "Even if I must do this alone, I will make Arnold see the error of his ways by deciding to date that hoe."
"What did you say?" Gerald yelped, shocked at her use of words. She'd finally crossed the line. "Don't call her that, you obnoxious snot!"
"You're defending her, too?" Rhonda cried. "This is just precious! Don't you remember all the nasty things she's done to you and your best friend?"
"I sure do," he said angrily, "but I also know that the way you're acting right now is probably worse. You've joined up with her, too. Might I remind you of the Lila incident?"
"Oh, don't start comparing me to her!"
"Compare this!" he yelled, slamming the phone on the hook. He breathed heavily for a while, and then groaned loudly and landed on his bed. His hair hit the wall and he sat up as quick as lightening. Maybe he should call Arnold and tell him about this… no, he already had enough on his mind without him helping.
!#$&()+
You know, some people would call me and Arnold schizophrenic for talking to the voices in our heads. What would it be called, then? Double-person Schizophrenia? How are you and Arnold going to happen to have the same mental illness and symptoms at the same time? Good point, thought Helga. At least we didn't get any homework tonight.
Helga was rubbing her temples, trying to calm herself. She considered going up to her attic… wait that was done with now. Her memory must have lapsed for a moment. So… what was she supposed to do now? She'd already talked with Phoebe on the phone, and ruled out calling Arnold. Hadn't she already spent the night with him?
No. What she felt the need to do was writing.
But what would she write about? For too long her writings were all about desire, hoping, wishing, dreaming about this happening. She reached across the desk she was sitting at and grabbed a journal from the pile she'd kept from her Arnold shrine. She laughed at the thought of her shrine… wow, how many sins was that thing accountable for? Then she laughed at the fact that she had been laughing in the first place. In such a short time she'd grown out of that shrine. She didn't need it anymore now that she was certain she had the real thing with her.
"Hmm… that's something to start with," she hummed, flipping to the last blank page. She used her pen to draw a line underneath her last entry, a symbol of a change in feelings.
So… you know what you're going to write about now, I see. Good choice. Thanks, Connie. I'm really proud of you, Helga. Me, too. Thanks. I never thought I'd use my conscience so much, really.
She took her pen, curled up in the chair to where her nose was almost touching the paper, and began to write a new genre that she'd rarely ever felt the need to express before: happiness.
!#$&()+
Arnold laughed as he passed the newly mashed potatoes, courtesy of Ernie, around the table. His grandma had just entered in what may possibly be her biggest getup yet; a fully decked out clown, red nose and big shoes included.
"Aw, Pookie, who buys you these things?" moaned Phil while she walked over to her seat.
Grandma chuckled and honked her horn in response, setting down a cream pie in the middle of the table. No one touched it and those closest to it inched away cautiously.
"I think it's funny," commented Arnold, taking a bite of the turkey and gravy. Personally, he didn't know why Gerald was so wary of the food. Maybe it was because he had that allergic reaction to the pecan pie…
A few minutes in to the dinner, a faint ringing could be heard from the hallway. Grandma sighed and walked out of the room, her feet squeaking with each step. Arnold shook his head and continued eating.
How exactly did you get a quarter of your genes from her? Not sure, really.
Grandma's colorful face popped out from the doorway. "Arnold, a young lady's on the phone for you."
Helga, thought Arnold with as much excitement as curiosity. "Thanks Grandma," he said, moving out of his seat and rolling his eyes at the rather loud whispering from behind him. "Yes, Oscar, I do have a little girlfriend."
"What I do?" asked Oscar, promptly being hit by Susie.
His grandmother handed him the phone and jumped happily into the dining room. Arnold smiled and shook his head, then put the phone to his ear. "Hey," he said, "what's up?"
"Hello, Arnold," said the voice
Arnold scrunched his eyebrows in confusion. "L-Lila?" he asked.
"Yes, it's Lila," she relied in a sweet voice.
"W-why are you calling me?" he stuttered. Calm down, buddy!
Why was he freaking out? It was just Lila, right? He was so over her… great, now the more he thought about it, the more nervous he got. Why did she have to have such a pretty voice? Arnold, focus! Lila may be pretty, but what does Helga have again? That… that inner beauty thing. Right? But… Helga's pretty too, who said she wasn't it? Yay, that's done with, now listen up!
"Arnold… Arnold are you there?" asked Lila.
"Oh!" he cried. "I'm sorry; I just got a little lost in my head for a second. Now… why did you call me?"
"Arnold, I have to tell you," she whispered. It was obviously important by the urgency of her voice. "Rhonda's angry… I mean she's just very, very angry. I don't really understand why, but she is, and she called Gerald… actually, I told her too, I thought it would calm her down a bit, but it didn't. They had this just ever so loud fight and now Rhonda's determined to convince just everyone that you and Helga shouldn't be accepted. She wants to ruin your reputation and even worsen Helga's."
Arnold stood shocked. He fell against the wall, thinking about nothing but the situation. Great. He thought he had problems before, but now this. She didn't only resent it; she wanted to murder it. He'd seen Rhonda get crazy before, but usually it was in a civilized manner.
Was this so against the laws of elementary law that it sent Rhonda into a blind rage?
You know, now that he thought about it, it wasn't so surprising.
"What do you think she's going to do, Lila?" he asked.
"The most powerful thing she could do: write an editorial in the school paper."
Arnold closed his eyes in defeat. Ugh. Helga was going to absolutely hate this. She'd be angry on the outside and inside she'd be freaking out in panic. Arnold gritted his teeth and tried to regain his composure. "Okay," he said, "maybe not everyone will believe her. I mean, Rhonda can turn around can't she? She has before."
"I'm honestly not so sure," said Lila in disappointment. "I'm sorry, Arnold, I feel like this is my fault that-"
"It's not your fault, Lila," he said. "Thanks for telling me."
"I just wanted to prepare you," she said.
"Yeah, thanks for the warning," he said. He smiled sadly. "Bye."
"Good night," she said, and with that both of them hung up the phone.
Well… no problem. We got through today. At least now I'm ready for it right. Good way of looking at it. Is it smart? Is it appropriate for the event? No. But you've gotten through a bunch of stuff on sheer hope that it'd be a happy ending, right? That's the only reason why I'm even hoping. Because it's happened before.
With that Arnold took his hand off of the old black phone and walked in to the kitchen, where he saw an awful lot of cream covering Oscar's face.
A/N:Four pages, 2,000 words, 9,000 letters not including spaces. Not nearly enough to make up for the enormous time gap, but at least I'm not in major writer's block anymore. I hope some of my old readers got to this, and I really hope I don't loose it again on this thing. It's too damn close to the end for me to! Expect around three or so chapters left, plus a nifty little epilouge.
I've started an account at Fiction Press under my new pen name. As soon as I finally post the first chapter of the original Through the Compact Disc, I'll give you the link. Until then, just go to go to "Fiction", and look for the story by JadedMyths. It's the first chapter, so check it out why don't you?
Briana Loves Foot Ball Head (heads up: soon to be JLFBH, okay?)
