Dear Diary,
I am so full of caramel macchiato right now that looking hippy in the Batsuit isn't even a concern, compared to the latte gut and eight chins I'm sure to be sporting soon. Although the new pair of Yummy Sushi pajamas? Are incredibly comfy and warm.
I'm also sorry that it's been so long since I've written, but I've been rather occupied lately. I haven't even patrolled in three days, that's how busy things have been here in the cave.
I think I just may have simultaneously made the greatest discovery in the history of mankind and fallen in love.
Yes, it's true. With a tiny, little-known website I discovered the other day.
www.ebay.com
This place has EVERYTHING! I mean, EVERYTHING! I've already purchased a metal Donny and Marie lunchbox, several Versace ties, a dodge ball cannon, an autographed copy of "Achtung, Baby," a pony, and a villa in the south of France. That little "Buy it now" button is quite possibly the best thing ever.
Well, okay, it's really a close second to my amazing and pert ass. But still, high up there.
Take my word for it, Diary, this site is going to be huge when it hits.
I did manage to make it to my salsa lessons. Enrique is a wonderful instructor---he's even willing to go the extra miles to help students that aren't catching on as quickly as they should. For example, I was having difficulties with some steps in class, and not only did he offer to show me personally how to get it right, he even put his hands on my hips so that I could feel how they were supposed to be moving. I guess it must have helped because he kept saying que narga dulce. You know, "nice moves, good job."
Which, was very nice of him because I was working really hard and I'm glad it paid off. He also offered to teach me privately at his condo, which I just may have to take him up on. I do want to be the best dancer at my birthday bash, after all. Speaking of, I need to finalize that guest list.
THINGS THAT ARE MUY IMPORTANTE:
Lunch Meeting with Lucius concerning new Wayne Tech R&D budget: 1:00 PM at Amai Sakura
Days Until I am Sexiest Man Alive: 28 (Like the movie!)
Song of the Moment: Britney Spears and Madonna, "Me Against the Music" (The video is HOT. I'd gladly get in the zone with the two of them. And by get in the zone, I mean have sex with.)
Also attending the Black and White Ball to raise funds for the Missing Children's Foundation. Picking up Lucy at 9:00 PM at the Gotham Omni. Remember to have Alfred get tux from cleaner's.
Guest list for birthday fiesta. It's going to be here sooner than I think!
Tim just arrived. He's all suited up...oh, right I guess I'm supposed to patrol with him or something. Oh crap! I can't go anywhere! This auction ends in like ten minutes! Some ass-jockey named "green_arrow_ollie" thinks he can outbid me on Andre 3000's outfit from the "Hey Ya!" video. You know, the one with that snazzy ascot.
I beg to differ.
Have to cut this short as I now have to send that little bitch crying home to his Mommy. Until next time, Diary!
Bruce Wayne
I am so full of caramel macchiato right now that looking hippy in the Batsuit isn't even a concern, compared to the latte gut and eight chins I'm sure to be sporting soon. Although the new pair of Yummy Sushi pajamas? Are incredibly comfy and warm.
I'm also sorry that it's been so long since I've written, but I've been rather occupied lately. I haven't even patrolled in three days, that's how busy things have been here in the cave.
I think I just may have simultaneously made the greatest discovery in the history of mankind and fallen in love.
Yes, it's true. With a tiny, little-known website I discovered the other day.
www.ebay.com
This place has EVERYTHING! I mean, EVERYTHING! I've already purchased a metal Donny and Marie lunchbox, several Versace ties, a dodge ball cannon, an autographed copy of "Achtung, Baby," a pony, and a villa in the south of France. That little "Buy it now" button is quite possibly the best thing ever.
Well, okay, it's really a close second to my amazing and pert ass. But still, high up there.
Take my word for it, Diary, this site is going to be huge when it hits.
I did manage to make it to my salsa lessons. Enrique is a wonderful instructor---he's even willing to go the extra miles to help students that aren't catching on as quickly as they should. For example, I was having difficulties with some steps in class, and not only did he offer to show me personally how to get it right, he even put his hands on my hips so that I could feel how they were supposed to be moving. I guess it must have helped because he kept saying que narga dulce. You know, "nice moves, good job."
Which, was very nice of him because I was working really hard and I'm glad it paid off. He also offered to teach me privately at his condo, which I just may have to take him up on. I do want to be the best dancer at my birthday bash, after all. Speaking of, I need to finalize that guest list.
THINGS THAT ARE MUY IMPORTANTE:
Lunch Meeting with Lucius concerning new Wayne Tech R&D budget: 1:00 PM at Amai Sakura
Days Until I am Sexiest Man Alive: 28 (Like the movie!)
Song of the Moment: Britney Spears and Madonna, "Me Against the Music" (The video is HOT. I'd gladly get in the zone with the two of them. And by get in the zone, I mean have sex with.)
Also attending the Black and White Ball to raise funds for the Missing Children's Foundation. Picking up Lucy at 9:00 PM at the Gotham Omni. Remember to have Alfred get tux from cleaner's.
Guest list for birthday fiesta. It's going to be here sooner than I think!
Tim just arrived. He's all suited up...oh, right I guess I'm supposed to patrol with him or something. Oh crap! I can't go anywhere! This auction ends in like ten minutes! Some ass-jockey named "green_arrow_ollie" thinks he can outbid me on Andre 3000's outfit from the "Hey Ya!" video. You know, the one with that snazzy ascot.
I beg to differ.
Have to cut this short as I now have to send that little bitch crying home to his Mommy. Until next time, Diary!
Bruce Wayne
