Author notes: This is my answer to an Albus challenge. Unfortunately, I don't remember what it was called or even all the details, but at the time I had to write the idea it gave me, and it's stuck with me for all these years. Yes, years. The challenge was something along the lines that Albus discovers Harry Potter fanfiction, and thinks it's all true.
Summary: Albus Dumbledore (Order of Merlin, First Class, Grand Sorcerer, Chief Warlock, Supreme Mugwump, International Confederation of Wizards), Headmaster of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, Defeater of Grindelwald, and overall genius, discovers Harry Potter fanfiction. And believes it. Chaos ensues.
Rating: PG-13
Pairings: Everything under the sun implied. This is a parody fic.
Warning: This is a parody! This contains SLASH! Don't like it? Then I suggest you don't read it. Also, suggestions of teacher/student relationships, and probably much, much more...
Disclaimer: I own nothing. It all belongs to J. K. Rowling. All emails, screen names, or other such stuff is made up, except for a few story titles and plots, which I'll give credit for as it comes along.
Prologue
Albus Dumbledore, Headmaster of Hogwarts school of Witchcraft and Wizardry, grinned delightedly at the silver laptop resting on his desk. He had received it as a gift from his granddaughter, who had moved to America with her mother and settled down with a nice muggle man. His granddaughter, Bernice, had thought the computer might amuse, and entertain, her grandfather.
Albus had discovered the internet.
And he was addicted.
Now, some people might not think this is such a bad thing, but when a grown man starts spending 32 hours a day on the internet and is falling behind on his schoolwork... Well, it can cause some problems. For example, when the schedules got mixed up the fifth year Hogwarts students suddenly had Transfiguration at 9:00am, and Potions at 9:10am. It caused quite a bit of mayhem, and an angry Transfiguration teacher.
Albus turned on his computer, and since his new friend, Benjamin99, wasn't on, he decided to look at the new website Ben had suggested;
What Albus discovered shocked, amazed, and horrified him. He was shocked at this thing called 'fanfiction' and that such a thing even existed, amazed at how popular the site seemed to be, and horrified that no one seemed to write any Xanth fictions. Were they all mad?
Then something caught his eye.
'Harry Potter'.
His first thoughts at seeing Harry's name were that he was shocked that Harry was an author on fanfiction dot net, or as he later found out it was called ffnet for short.
Naturally, Albus had to investigate further into this matter. He discovered Harry Potter stories. And a lot of weird theories.
No one heard from Albus Dumbledore for days. He didn't come to breakfast, lunch, or dinner. He never showed up for the teachers' meetings. He wasn't answering his owl post (much to Fudge's consternation). And no one could get past the gargoyle, because he had changed his password and no one would guess it was 'computer'.
The whole student body was worried. The teachers were worried. Stories on what had happened to Professor Dumbledore were flying around like the bats on Halloween, each tale more wild than the next. There were murmurs of You-Know-Who and Dumbledore dueling at that very moment. That Dumbledore had run away to Bermuda. That he had a horrible spell accident and was too ashamed to show his face. That Snape had finally done him in.
No one came close to the true horrors that Albus was going through, locked up in his bright, and cheery office. And everyone would rue the day when Albus finally came out from behind that gargoyle...
