Disclaimer: I do not own Newsies. I only own Liz and I take all claims to Hoodlie, Josh and Chicken Wing. However, Tag Along belongs to Tag216. And also Christina belongs to Blue Boxer.
This was a really hard chapter to write. I didn't think that I'd even write the things that I did in this one. I was like crying while I was writing it. I think the reality of it really kicked in that this terrible thing happened to both of them. It happened to Snitch, my favorite newsie, it happened to Liz, my character. They're both kick-ass kids (as Splashey called them). They're so strong, and they can make it through. So this will be a hard chapter to read and I hope you'll feel for them when you read it. This has happened to more than one person in the world. I know someone who I love very much that was sexually abused, so this was very hard to write. I didn't know it until after I started writing this fic. So please take Liz and Snitch's friendship to your heart, because they've been through so much.
Chapter 28: In the Midst of Disaster Comes True Friendship
"You trust me. Never shy away from me because I'm gonna be here for you always. No matter what happens, I'm always gonna be here for you. I ain't never leavin'."
Snitch headed straight back to the Lodging House, he didn't want to think about anything, and he just needed someone to talk to. He needed someone that would understand and that would care. Sure, he'd always used to go to Liz for this type of thing, but he can't talk to her about this. She wouldn't understand the way Itey would. So he went to Itey for advice and just anything that he could give him.
He arrived at the Lodging House and sought out Itey right away. They told Liz that they just wanted to talk for a few minutes and that they'd be back. They told her not to leave and to stay there until they came back. They left the Lodging House and went to their "secret spot". They haven't been to their "secret spot" in years, and it felt good that they finally visited there again.
"Snitch, what did you do?" Itey started.
"Look, I jus' really need tah talk tah you. I jus' need you tah understand where I'm comin' from, alright." He said as he kicked some crap around.
"Alright, tell me." Itey said.
Snitch stood silent for a while, trying to gather anything. "I jus' don't know what tah do, Itey. I mean, I wanna do so much, I wanna try tah understand dis whole thing but I don't! I jus' don't know what tah do anymore. Like, what are you feelin'?" Snitch asked.
"I don't know, man. I mean, everythin' is so mixed up here, ya know. I ain't never dealt wid anythin' like dis before, so I really don't know what tah think or feel. I jus' don't understand it either. Why, what are you tryin' tah get at?"
"I went tah see Hoodlie today. I wanted tah find out why he would do somethin' so stupid! I mean, if you knew Hoodlie like I do, you would do da same thing. He's not like everyone else. He's not like Oscar an' Morris, ya know. He's not like reckless or anythin' like dat. He's quiet an' he's nice an' he jus' wouldn't do dat tah anyone. So I knew somethin' was wrong. I didn't know whether he was tryin' tah fit in by doin' it or if he was forced tah do it, I didn't know." Snitch explained.
"Well did ya find out why he did it?"
"Yeah. He did it because he was gay." Snitch said.
"He told you dat?"
"No, he showed me dat."
"Oh my God, he raped you too?" Itey panicked.
"NO!" Snitch yelled back. "Itey, could you jus' stay up wid me for five seconds please?"
"I'm sorry." Itey said, blushing a bit.
"He didn't rape me, asshole. He kissed me."
"He kissed you?! Did you kick his ass?" Itey said as he leaned in interested in hearing how Snitch beat the shit out of him.
"No, I didn't even hoit him, I don't understand it."
"Why not, asshole?" Itey mocked back. "Why didn't you shove your foot in his ass? What's wrong wid you?" Itey yelled.
"I don't know. I wanted to! I was so close tah punchin' his lights out, but I stopped." Snitch admitted.
"Oh God, Snitch! You're not fuckin' gay are you?"
"No, I'm not gay! But da weird thing was I understood him, ya know. I understood why he did what he did."
"Why?" Itey asked, compassionately.
"Because he didn't want dem tah find out dat he's gay, ya know. He didn't want tah be made fun of."
"Well so dat gives him da right tah rape a goil?" Itey thought the whole thing was outrageous. Hoodlie did what he did and he deserves to get his ass kicked, he didn't understand why Snitch of all people backed out.
"No it doesn't give him a right, but I was his friend."
"And she was your friend, Snitch. You were wrong! You should have kicked his ass! And why didn't you? You backed out, you freaked out! You can't back out in dis whole thing, Snitch. You jus' can't! You turned your back on her!" Itey scolded.
"No I didn't! I'm in this one hundred percent. I didn't turn my back on her, honestly." Snitch defended.
"Snitch you're no better den dey are! You show dem fuckin' compassion an' dey couldn't even show her a little bit of mercy, can dey?"
"Itey, you're takin' dis da whole wrong way!"
"Or are you takin' dis whole thing da wrong way? Snitch, jus' understand where I'm comin' from!"
"No why don't you fuckin' understand where I'm comin' from? Let me tell you, please." Snitch begged as Itey stood up.
"Look no man. I don't an' I'm not gonna hang out wid gay people, alright. I'm outta here." Itey said as he started to walk away.
"No Itey, I'm not gay! Listen tah me, please!" Snitch begged.
"No, man. I don't know what's wrong wid you! I think dis whole thing has gotten tah your head or somethin'!"
"Nothin' has gotten tah my head! I'm perfectly fine, please don't leave! Itey I wanna talk tah you!"
"Look, when da real Snitch comes back den we can talk. But I don't associate wid faggots an' I'm not goin' tah start now." Itey yelled as he ran away.
"Itey wait! Please!" Snitch begged, but it was too late. He buried his head in his hands. I thought I was doing the right thing by not hurting him. I thought I was doing the right thing. Why can't we let the government and the slammer do the job on him. I only went to find out why he did it, I didn't go to beat the shit out of him. I thought that's what You wanted me to do. I felt really good that I didn't hurt him. Is it wrong to pity the homosexual? Is it wrong to feel bad for them? They're alone, they're scared, they don't understand what they're doing. Am I wrong by doing any of that? Am I wrong by showing them some compassion that no one else shows them? Now Itey is going to tell everyone and everyone's going to think I'm gay. I knew I shouldn't have told him. I should have just gone straight to the police and not stopped. But I thought it was the right thing to let Itey in on where I was going. I guess it was wrong. I guess I was wrong. Snitch thought to himself.
"I believe you, Snitch." A familiar voice said quietly behind him.
He turned around to see the most unlikely sight, Liz standing there looking at him with her big brown eyes. "Liz? I thought you were at da LH? What are ya doin' here?"
"I got bored, so I wanted tah see where you boys went." She said honestly. "I thought you did da right thing."
Snitch tilted his head in confusion. Why would she think that it was the right thing to do after everything he did to her. Did she make a mistake? Did I make a mistake? "What? Why do ya think dat I did da right thing?"
"Because you did. Snitch, if you don't bother dem dey won't bother me. So jus' leave dem alone, okay." She spoke softly.
"What do ya mean?"
"I don't know, if I would have never done anythin' wid Oscar, den dis would have never happened. If I would have never tried tah change him like I did an' acted civil around him, dis wouldn't have happened. He thought dat I was interested in him, he thought dat I was playin' wid his mind, when I wasn't. I didn't know what he was talkin' about, but I understand now. I was a bitch, an' I deserved everythin' dat happened." Liz said as she looked at the ground in shame.
"No! Come here." Snitch said as he stood up, and walked right in front of her. "Look at me." He put his fingers under chin and moved her face so that it was level with his and she was looking at him. "No matter what someone does or doesn't do, no one deserves tah be treated like dat, not even you. Liz you did nothin' wrong. You have a big heart and you jus' wanted Oscar tah see. An' by tryin' tah make him see you treated him like no one ever has. You treated him like he actually mattered in da world, ya know. You did nothin' wrong. He was da bastard dat took everythin' da wrong way." Snitch explained. "Don't you ever think its da other way around!"
Liz nodded and sat down. Snitch followed and sat down beside her. Liz stared at the ground and a few moments of silence passed them. She looked at him, with tears in her eyes and asked, "What did your daddy do tah you, Snitch? What did he do tah make you so sad? What did he do tah make you feel like me?"
Those were questions that Snitch particularly didn't want to answer, but he knew he had to in order to gain her trust. "Well, he would jus' hit me an' stuff like dat. He'd-he'd like strangle me an' stuff." He struggled. "He never really did anythin' really bad until I made him real angry one day. I don't know what I did, but I did somethin' tah make him pissed. He said it was my fault dat I got hit because I pissed him off, an' I knew never tah do dat. So I tried my hardest tah not make him angry, but I would keep gettin' hit anyway. I would always do somethin' tah make him angry wid me. An' one day I really pissed him off a lot. I was outside playin' an' he yelled for me tah come in. I obeyed an' ran in as fast as I could. I knew he was really mad by da way he talked tah me, but I went into da house an' he told me tah get him some lemonade. So I got da pitcher an' I walked over tah da table, but I didn't have my grip tight enough an' I dropped it. Dat set him off! He went crazy an' he started hittin' me, an' yellin' at me. He hit me so hard dat I fell tah da floor an' couldn't get up. Den he started kickin' me. He picked me up off da floor by my neck an' threw me against da wall. He, again, picked me up by my neck an' den he started cussin' at me an' callin' me names. Den he started, he started," he couldn't get it out, but he knew he had to. "He started kissin' me an' stuff like dat. He grabbed me an' took me upstairs tah a room an' he," he started shaking, trying to hold the tears in. "He, he, he fucked me through da 'back door'." Snitch clenched his fist and pounded it against his forehead, holding in his tears. He remembered the pain that was inflicted on him, he remembered everything. He was still shaking as he felt a small hand slip into his. He looked down and looked up at Liz.
She wasn't crying, she didn't have a tear in her eye and she wasn't shaking either. She looked like she was very calm. "Dey did dat tah me too." She said softly, as she frowned.
Snitch's mouth dropped open and he looked away. He closed his eyes as tightly as he could; it was hard to hold the tears now. He punched the ground beside him. "What else did dey do tah you, Liz?" His voice was now shaking.
Her eyes stayed steadily on his face. "Promise you go crazy an' fuck dem up?"
Snitch shook his head. "I'll fuckin' kill dem!"
"No!" Liz gasped as she grabbed his arm and held it with all the strength she had left.
Snitch looked down at her trembling hand grasped to his arm. She was holding on as hard as she could, but it didn't even hurt. It didn't hurt him at all; her grip wasn't even a tight one. That was how much advantage they had over her. She had a grip of a child, she was a child. They were grown men, she was a child. He knew he had to listen to her, or she'll never trust him again. He took her hand as gently as he could and held it in his own. "I promise I won't hoit dem." He said, although he wished he could beat the shit out of all of them.
"Dey'd make me do stuff tah dem." She said slowly. "Dey'd, dey'd..." she said as she started shaking more rapidly. "Dey'd make me...touch dem down dere." She shut her eyes tightly, trying to fight another flashback. She started crying and shaking even more than she was already.
Snitch grabbed her hand and held it tightly. "Fight 'em, Liz. I'm right here, beside you. Fight 'em. Don't let 'em win, Liz." He encouraged as she fought them in her mind. She held his hand tighter. "I'm not gonna leave you, I'm right here. I'm right here, I'm always right here, remember dat." He told her knowing that she was fighting with all her might. "You can beat 'em Liz. Keep tryin', keep fightin'." He encouraged her. After a few minutes of trying to control her mind she opened her eyes again and started sobbing. She fell to Snitch's lap and bawled. Her head rested on his thigh, she felt his hand touch and rub her back. "It's okay, I'm here. It's okay." He told her as he rubbed her back, hoping that it would help. While he was rubbing her back, he'd push her forward and he accidentally pushed her close to the "happy area that wasn't a very happy area anymore".
She screamed and backed away as fast as she could. She stared at him with fear in her eyes.
He knew exactly why she did what she did and couldn't believe it. "Oh God! Oh God!" he repeated. "Oh God, Liz! I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." He cried as he stood up and walked past her. Those fuckers! God, why couldn't they have just left her alone? They made her do something that I wouldn't even ask her to do and I was her boyfriend. I don't know anyone who would ask anyone to do that. Well Spot maybe, but I would never even bring anything like that up. God they're so fucking sick. How could they make her put her mouth on, oh my God! God why couldn't you have stopped them? Why did you wake me too late? Why couldn't you have done anything? Were you even there when it happened? Did you turn your back on her or something? He thought as he shook his head in disbelief.
"Snitchy am I in dis alone?" She asked as a tear slipped down her cheek.
He kneeled down beside her. "No." He said compassionately. "I'm here wid you, an' I will always be here." He assured her. "Liz, listen tah me. You're gonna be alright. Dey ain't gonna hoit you anymore, you're goin' tah be fine. I ain't gonna let anythin' happen tah you, do you understand me. You trust me, okay? You trust me. Never shy away from me because I'm gonna be here for you always. No matter what happens, I'm always gonna be here for you. I ain't never leavin'. I'm gonna do everythin' I can tah make things right again, do you understand me? Everythin's gonna be right again an' dose fuckers will pay for what dey did tah you. Jus' trust me an' always trust me, okay. I'm your friend, Liz. I'm your friend." He told her as she nodded silently. He looked at her with tears in his eyes, he couldn't believe it. "Oh God!" He said as he picked her up and held her tightly. "Let's get you home." He said as he carried her home.
Blue Boxer I miss you so much! You don't understand how much I miss you. I hope you're having a great time in college. I love you. I hope you love it up there! You know I miss you! Thank you so much for reviewing, and please keep reviewing, if you have time (of course). Good luck at college! E-mail me all the time and call whenever you want. I'll talk to you if I'm not working! I love you!
Splashey Haha! Yeah I've been trying to update them as much as I can before school starts (on Tuesday) and then I won't have that much time to update. Plus this is the really action packed part of the story and it gives me motivation. XD But yeah, thanks for telling me that! I saw Mulan, but I don't remember most of it. I haven't watched it in about 10 years, no I'm just kidding, but it's been a long time.
