Hello Dear Reader,
You have no idea how sorry I am that this chapter took SO long… really I am. I am; however, very proud of what I have created and I hope that it is worth all the time we both had to wait. Please, enjoy reading this and if you're not too upset, leave me a review!
Thank you for being patient!
Alex…
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The feast was taking entirely too long. It was becoming a slow and agonizing form of torture to watch the Gryffindor as he laughed and joked with his 'inner circle'. Oh, and those oh-so-obvious secretive glances the ebony haired boy kept shooting sidelong at Finnigan were testing every fiber in his being! Who did Harry think he was fooling?
A high pitched laugh rang out across the hall and Draco caught the movement as the youngest Weasley punched her brother playfully in the arm, blushing.
Alright, so the boy was probably fooling quite a few people, but Draco Lucius Malfoy was not one of them.
"Want a bite?"
The bright voice and soft hand pulled him back to the present and Draco turned toward Celes. She held out a strange confection made, from what he could see, entirely out of cherries and whip cream, but the gleam in her eyes as she lifted her hand from his arm, dipped her finger into the whip cream and brought it to her lips, told him she wasn't talking about the dessert.
"You know I don't like cherries," he countered. Deliberately he imitated her move sweeping his finger through the whip cream, carefully avoiding the cherry sauce.
The pout that teased her lips was charming on her face and would have crumbled a mountain, but Draco knew her too well. Her insincerity in the offer was in the way her lips tried to smile and the knowing look in her eyes when she met his. She knew she was causing a stir and was enjoying her power over others.
"How could I have forgotten?" Feigning distress she looked over the table's contents and chose another offering. "Breadstick?"
Draco fought down the urge to laugh into his tea. Even he wasn't immune to her havoc, he reminded himself as he set the goblet down.
"More to your taste?" She asked innocently.
"Thanks," he muttered, sending her a scathing look as he took the bread.
No matter how much of a disaster she threatened to cause, his cousin had always been his only lifeline to sanity. His only one until now. She was the only one who ever really knew him, knew his thoughts and feelings, knew his likes and dislikes. Their relationship had proven to be one of the greatest comforts his life afforded. But sometimes, he thought as she glanced toward the Gryffindor table, it wasn't always comforting. She knew him too well.
She would be after him later, dragging him into a five hour long confessional. It might be worth it, he thought when he caught the indignant glare of Pansy over Celes' shoulder. It would save him from having to beat Parkinson off of him for that short span of time. Pansy might not realize it yet, but her life was about to become the living hell it had always been destined to become since the day they had become affianced. She was a pawn in the game Voldemort and Lucius had devised, but no matter how close she was positioned, she would never become a queen.
Pansy had been marked as a sacrifice all along.
Dumbledore's voice cut through Draco's pity and he tore his eyes from the misguided girl toward the Headmaster.
"A new year, new faces, and a new chance… for all of us," he added easily, but Draco caught his eyes and briefly wondered if he hadn't underestimated Dumbledore's knowledge.
"Madam Hooch has requested that I advise you all that the Quidditch season will be pushed back by two weeks while we have repairs completed on the pitch. Mr. Filtch has been so courteous as to have had lists of all forbidden items sent to each of the dormitory common rooms. The number of items is expected to double since the graduation of last years class." There was a gleam in his eyes as he looked purposefully at the Gryffindor table. "Again, let me remind you that the third floor corridor is off limits to all students. Have I forgotten anything?" He paused for a moment and then picking up his wand cast an indulgent smile over the four tables. "Very well, then lets finish with the singing of the school song and then up to bed."
As the words to the song spelled out in alternating colors above Dumbledore's head the entire hall broke out into a chaos of conflicting rhythms as each student chose their own tune for the words.
Above the clamor two voices echoed, seeming to unite the others into a forced harmony. As the other's finished they turned toward the Slytherin table, listening to the blend of English with French as Celes translated the words. Draco and Celes grinned at each other as they matched their voices to each other in a slow and obviously French melody.
As they finished the hall broke out into scattered applause, most not knowing what to think. Malfoy had never really been heard singing before, but now he had actually participated and in such a show of talent. Celes was being looked on with envy, awe, and, from Pansy's general direction, loathing. The most enthusiastic applause came from four different directions: Dumbledore, Snape, Hermione, and Ginny could be heard above all the others. Blaize added to the clamor whistling his appreciating, but where the applause was most wanted there was nothing.
Harry was pointedly in conversation with Ron and Seamus. Most likely discussing their plans for quidditch with the renovations and all. It shouldn't have irritated him. He told himself that it shouldn't matter that Harry wasn't even curious about the uncharacteristic display. It was only singing after all, but for some reason it grated on his nerves.
Beneath the table, Celes rested her hand on his knee in comfort.
She did know him too well.
Draco relaxed and turned back toward the teacher's table where Dumbledore was still applauding.
"Beautiful display from our Slytherins. Bravo Mr. Malfoy. Mademoiselle D'Valynier."
Draco almost cringed at the word 'display', it sounded so undignified and un-Malfoyish. Displays were opposite to everything he had been taught, but the warm smile that Celes cast his way had him nodding acknowledgment back toward the Headmaster.
"And now it is off to bed. Prefects, your houses, please."
Students departed the Great Hall in a melee of disorder despite the efforts of the prefects. Even Granger's prim voice and cold threats couldn't make the students line out as they spilled out in their general directions. In a school where time was scheduled out and everything was meant to be uniform, rebellion and individuality when available became necessary.
Draco held back, watching as the Great Hall emptied. He wanted no part of the maelstrom, never had. Besides, he had business to take care of that couldn't wait.
"Dray," Pansy's voice shattered through his thoughts, "are you coming? I thought we might have a little chat before bed." Her fingers played along the length of his sleeve, briefly brushing his hand, her smile coy. It was a blatant invitation. "There are a few things I want to discuss with you."
"Not tonight, Parkinson." Draco replied tiredly, he just didn't have enough patience to create an elaborate excuse. "It's been a long day and…"
"And," Celes' voice interrupted, "I've already reserved Drake for tonight." Arms slithered over his chest as Celes offered him protection and staked her claim against Pansy. "We have so much to catch up on, and he promised me a quick tour of the castle. I'd like to have a little bit of an idea where I'm going tomorrow."
It was almost nauseating, the intensity of hatred that was radiating from Pansy. Celes merely tightened her hold, a contented and patronizing smile curving her lips.
"You understand."
"Oh, I understand alright, you little b-"
"Parkinson!"
It wasn't a shout, but a command and even with that Pansy still looked close to exploding.
"Pansy…"Draco tried a different approach. "That will be quite enough. As a prefect and a nominee for Head Boy, it is my obligation to make sure that the members of my house feel welcome and comfortable with their surroundings." Draco's eyes narrowed slightly in warning, "You wouldn't want me to make a habit of disregarding my duties."
The threat was there in his eyes, but Pansy never caught it as she glared over Draco's shoulder at Celes.
"But…", she objected indignantly.
"Tomorrow. We will discuss your 'things' and your actions, but it will be tomorrow, Parkinson."
Seething, Pansy turned and strode from the Great Hall.
"Your marriage ought to be heavenly, Drake."
"Remind me to hate you after my gratitude fades."
Laughing easily Celes gave him a quick hug. "You know I'd do anything for you, Drake." Glancing over her shoulder and the Slytherin girl's retreating back she added, "And getting a few claws into a bitch like that makes my job all the more enjoyable. She hates me."
"Can you blame her? She thinks of me as her property and you're threatening her claim."
"Yes I can because she does view you as property. There is no real claim anyway, and if there were," Celes paused, looking toward the Gryffindor table, "I'm not the one she should be worried about."
"There isn't much a threat at the moment", he admitted. He admired her too much to try and deny the truth.
"I wouldn't say that. He's definitely your type, Drake. Dark. Introverted. Famous. A bit of a brooder, I imagine. Caring. And he is absolutely sexy."
"You have such a keen eye and appreciation for the male species. Too bad your not interested in them."
"Yeah… go figure." She smiled at him as if sharing a secret that only they knew. "So, where are you sneaking off to?"
"Adolescent mischief?"
"Fine then, keep your secrets." Her pout was back. "Never mind that I saved your ass from being a chew toy tonight. You've never done anything truly adolescent in your life, so why would you start now?"
Celes' tone might have been scolding, but the fingers she brushed through his hair betrayed her concern. "Celes…"
"You only keep secrets from me when you're not sure of the outcome. Don't be reckless, Drake. I hate it when you're reckless."
"That's why I never tell you," he teased. "If things go the way I want you'll be the first to know, I promise." Smirking he pressing a kiss to her cheek as he moved past her, toward the exit. "Don't wait up, luv."
"You wont get around me that easily, Draco Malfoy!" she hollered after him. "Your way or not you will be telling me before tomorrow is over and you know it!" He simply raised his hand as he passed through the doorway.
'You never change do you, Cousin?', she smiled to herself.
"I hope he's worth it."
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'You'd better be worth this , Potter.' Draco unknowingly echoed his cousin's words, reprimanding the absent youth as he strode through the hallways. His strides were becoming longer and swifter, almost agitated, the longer he walked. The halls were doing a number on his patience and he dreaded what he might do if anyone tried to hinder him in his quest. Not even Celes or Potter would be immune. In fact, he mused, Potter might just be the most susceptible since it was because of his sorry ass that Draco was stalking the uncooperative hallways when his body was screaming for rest.
"Damn it. How come every time I try and avoid Dumbledore and his authority I always end up finding myself in front of his office, but now that I actually want to find the stupid statue the castle wont let me near it?" Draco cursed as he paused and leaned against an archway column. This was just his luck, the one time he decided to do something 'noble', he was being prevented from actually doing it.
The entire castle seemed so intent on protecting Potter, often sending Draco down wrong turns and dead ends when his animosity toward the Gryffindor had him seeking him out. It had proved annoying on more than one occasion, but now… now it was excruciating.
"We both want the same thing…", he whispered to the castle as he glared down either end of the corridors.
Minutes passed and the corridors remained silent and Draco didn't know if he was disappointed at the castle or amused at himself. With time drifting by, Draco pushed off from the wall and squared himself off in the middle of the corridor. "Very well, if you wont reveal your secret freely…" Kneeling down he pressed his palm to the cold marble tile, "Promptu discessio".
A thin line of brilliant purple traced itself around his hand and pulsed twice as Draco straightened. Then another and print appeared behind that one further along the corridor. Then another and another, and so they continued, forming a pulsing purple trail down the hall until they disappeared around a corner.
"One way or another.." Draco muttered and he stepped forward, following his own hand prints.
Two rights, three lefts, a semicircle, and six corridors later, Draco glared at the perverse lights he had created. An hour after he had left his cousin, thirty minutes after he had followed the revealing spell, he was still standing in another empty corridor and had had no glimpse of the Headmaster's office entrance. What was wrong with this castle? The willful corridors he had always found joy in were about to drive him completely mad.
"Finite Incantatem," he growled as the corridors grew dim once more. Letting out his breath in what he would never admit was a huff, he strode forward, determined to find the Headmaster's office. "Damned, if I'll give up!" he swore as he rounded a corner.
"Though I admire you're determination, Mr. Malfoy; however, I cannot agree with your colorful choice of words."
Abruptly Draco stopped, his heart slamming in his chest as he came face to face with the Headmaster. No matter what he had learned in his life, no matter what his heritage or power, something in those sparkling, weathered eyes always had the ability to make him feel like a child… a guilty one at this particular moment.
"Headmaster…" he greeted uneasily, fighting for some scrap of dignity.
"You are out after curfew, Mr. Malfoy," Dumbledore stated calmly, no reprimand to his voice.
"Yes, sir, but as a school prefect I have been allotted the privilege of walking out past curfew should my duties require me."
"Is it your prefect duties that have you out so late then?"
"No, sir." There didn't seem to be a reason to lie, it would jeopardize his entire effort. Draco merely met the Headmaster's gaze openly.
"Please, explain…" the old man offered, something like knowledge sparking behind his half-moon glasses.
"I was looking for you. I have something very important to discuss, if you would hear me." There it was, there was his opening. Now… it was all in Dumbledore's hands. Draco held his breath as he watched the Headmaster.
"Very well, Mr. Malfoy," the Headmaster nodded. "I have another guest at the moment; however, our business is complete. This way."
Draco followed the Headmaster's retreating back, cursing inwardly as he realized that the entrance to the Headmaster's quarters was just around the next turn. Dumbledore's voice came back to him and he heard the softly murmured the words 'Everlasting Gobstoppers'. With a creak of stone the gargoyle shuffled hastily out of the way, its head bowed in humility as the Headmaster passed it by and onto the stairway, but it wasn't humility that Draco saw in the stone creature's face when he passed by; it was wariness and what could only be called contempt, if emotion could be attributed to the stone eyes.
"A past Headmaster enjoyed such displays of deference and after a few centuries, the gargoyle seems to have adopted the habit as a matter of honor. I've tried to persuade him that it isn't necessary, but he is a prideful creature, subservient and loyal."
"A very efficient sentry," Draco remarked dryly. "He doesn't seem pleased to let me pass."
"Strong, loyal, and often mistaken for actual stone, they are indeed efficient, but scarce. A dying breed, they have a wariness of humanity and especially of wizard-kind. Few believe they ever existed…" The top of the stairway was just ahead. "But you see him as he is, Mr. Malfoy… alive. Most students pass him over as mere decoration. That knowledge is a threat to his existence. Then there is your illustrious family history and current reputation for vandalism of school property."
Draco could hear the smile in the old man's voice. "If we are to judge me by the deplorable acts of my ancestors, then I would have been expelled from Hogwarts long ago, Sir. I know no one who's family history didn't contain some person whose existence it would have been preferable to erase. One cannot change another person's past mistakes." He fought to keep the indignity out of his voice as he continued, "And as to the 'vandalism', there is no evidence that I took part in any of the acts."
"Very well said, Mr. Malfoy." Dumbledore replied, and Draco thought he heard a hint of pride in the deep voice. "And you are correct, there is no evidence, but that doesn't change the truth. You are immaculately thorough in removing evidence and, may I say, meticulous when it comes to loose ends."
"Sir?" Was that a smile he heard in the Headmaster's words?
"You are an unique individual, the kind that historians remember. The ones noted for their leadership, scrutiny, power, cunning and deeds, both noble and despicable. How will future generations view your life, Draco? How will you be remembered?"
"I'm am not sure as to this line of questions, Headmaster." Where was Dumbledore going with this? Those were questions that had plagued him continually. How did Dumbledore stumble across his thoughts so effortlessly?
Dumbledore paused before the doors to his office and turned toward him, blue eyes find his own over the half-moon lenses.
"How do you want to be remembered, Draco?"
In that intense gaze, for the first time, Draco noticed just how old and weary was the man behind them. He saw the years, too many dark, that the old man had seen and caught the feeling of subdued power that robed the ancient figure. How had he missed this person before?
"I only want to be remembered as I am. Nothing more and definitely nothing less."
Dumbledore took a moment, watching him, before a smile broke through and the twinkle that blinded other's from seeing what was really behind it sparked to life.
"Again, Mr. Malfoy… Well said."
As Dumbledore turned away, pushing open the doors to his office, Draco let out a breath he hadn't been aware he was holding.
Why was this so important to him anyway?
Emerald eyes locked onto his, reflected in the rain-slashed window, reflecting the sparkle of the golden snitch clasped in trembling fingers; those same fingers futilely brushing back unruly strands of ebony hair above a crooked, heart stealing smile…
"Now I remember…", he mused, a soft smile curving his lips.
"Remember what?"
The inquisitive voice interrupted Draco's train of thought and catching the Headmaster's eyes as he moved around to the other side of his desk, he stammered a reply, "N-nothing… It isn't important." Heat was flooding his face and he struggled to fight it down as he took in his surroundings.
He could physically feel himself relaxing in the warm toned atmosphere. Gold and silver, glass and crystal, sparkled from the numerous shelves. Objects of varying and often odd shapes and colors winked at him from their places of honor. Magickal objects whose importance or rarity would make any wizard moan with longing were scattered about like common knickknacks, with an unconscious dismissal of their value. Draco had the impression that underneath the disarray was an orderly system, one that only Dumbledore knew. Lucius would have sold half his assets simply to be allowed to choose but one object from this room, and the knowledge that Lucius' collection could not match the superiority to Dumbledore's, though it cut at his pride, was a source of twisted pleasure. However, it wasn't the objects that filled the room that held Draco's attention; it was the colors. Bold, deep shades in the colors of the four houses. Admittedly, there was a definite favoritism of red and gold, but the other colors hadn't been neglected. In fact, the colors were integrated together as often as style and taste allowed. Ravenclaw lays side by side with Hufflepuff, while Slytherin allowed itself to be embraced by Gryffindor.
The rich green pillow wrapped up in a warm red throw held him captivated for a moment until a movement to his left followed by Dumbledore's voice brought him back to himself.
"You, of course, remember Professor Lupin." Dumbledore stated easily as he took to his seat.
"Ah, yes, Mr. Malfoy."
Mentally upbraiding himself for his lack of focus, Draco turned towards the man that was now standing with his hand outstretched. "Yes, of course," Malfoy replied, taking the proffered hand into his own. It wasn't the warmest of handshakes, but both parties released it with mutual satisfaction. A new beginning.
He should have looked healthier at his time of life, Draco thought sadly as he took in the appearance of the man before him. Chestnut hair already streaked with gray over a gaunt face whose handsome features were barely visible, giving one an idea of what had been taken from him. His posture was erect and proud but there was feeling of exhaustion surrounding him. Two jagged scars stood out in white against the already pale skin of his face, but his smile was warm and welcoming as though there was nothing sorrowful in his existence. It was in his eyes, Draco decided, that the true character of the man come out; there was pain there in those soft brown depths, haunted from a life of struggle and discrimination, but beneath all of the shadows was a light that spoke of joy he had known once and a faith that he would know it again before the end.
Drawing himself from his appraisal, he caught a part of Dumbledore's words that had nagged at the back of his mind. "Professor?", he inquired, quirking an eyebrow and managing to stifle the smile that wanted to slip through.
From the other side of the chair the professor had been occupying, a low growl started as a large black dog stepped forward to place himself lengthwise in front of the older man
"It seems that sentries and bodyguards are in fashion." Draco watched the dog warily, refusing to back down from his position. "This one is familiar to me, though," he mused, looking back up at the man, taking no notice of the coiled canine body or the bared teeth. "In Diagon Alley, with the Weasley family. Is he yours then?"
"Um.. Uh.. Yes," Lupin replied hastily as he placed a restraining hand on the dog's head. "I claim him most of the time…" He struggled for easy humor and then fell silent, focusing on the dog's movements.
"Magnificient creature I've always thought," Dumbledore interjected. Picking up the conversation where Lupin left off, he answered Draco's earlier question, "And yes, Mr. Malfoy, Remus Lupin has indeed assumed the role of professor again. He was kind enough to be persuaded to return to his post as our Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher due to the utter lack of qualified volunteers."
"I'm sure that Professor Snape and my father are pleased with this appointment."
There was no bite to his voice, but a coldness seemed to tint his demeanor at the mention of his father and godfather. Something he had seen must have pleased the Headmaster as his smile brightened fractionally.
Again Draco became aware of the canine presence as the low growl grew in volume just in front of him. He refused to acknowledge the threat.
"Snuffles…" Dumbledore's voice reprimanded strongly, his features softening when the sound subsided. "Kindly move back and sit down."
Draco finally glanced at the dog long enough to watch it hesitate and then back slowly to a short distance behind the professor. Casting a look toward Dumbledore, the dog obediently sat down and resumed watching Draco.
"Sorry about that, Mr. Malfoy," Lupin apologized.
"Not at all."
"Back to you question, Draco," Dumbledore resumed, "Professor Snape passed over the position due to, as he put it, 'the increasing incompetence of the advancing classes as well as the disappointing ineptitude of the younger students'. Apparently, the work load that Professor Snape places upon his classes also increases the work for himself and he feels that at the moment he is in no position to command two classes."
The corner of Draco's lips twitch at the thought of his godfather's excuse but apprehension drew his mouth into a faint frown at the realization of what really kept Snape from accepting the position he had so long coveted. No doubt, his ulterior obligations would take what time he didn't spend lecturing and grading papers. Snape was in a strategic position, one that provided the Dark Lord with an advantage that could prove problematic to Draco's plan. That would have to be fixed…
"As to your father, there was of course a strong disinclination for the appointment; however, with Snapes refusal of the position there simply wasn't any other qualified person available. After that there was really no opposition for the board and Professor Lupin was reinstated, though placed under restricted limitations during full moons."
"Of course," Draco commented. Turning towards the Lupin, he nodded his head slightly. "Honored to have you back with us, Professor."
There was uncertainty at Malfoy's statement written in the weathered man's eyes, but he nodded in acknowledgement and managed a soft smile.
"Now, Mr. Malfoy, what is it that has you out so late after curfew if it was not prefect duties?"
Draco cast a brief glance at Professor Lupin and remained silent, considering briefly whether his presence was necessary.
"Pardon me, Albus, but perhaps I should excuse myself and Snuffles since my presence is no longer required."
"Actually," Draco began, "it might be beneficial to have a witness for what I am about to discuss."
"I doubt that this matter concerns me and I'm not comfortable wit-"
"But you're a member of the Order are you not?"
Lupin stopped dead staring as the polished brass of the doorknob. Turning around slowly, he glanced quickly at Dumbledore, but the Headmaster's eyes were watching Draco with a slightly amused gleam, and so Lupin met Draco's gaze with his own. "The Order?"
Draco nodded, anticipation and the thrill of knowing he could never go back now ran through his veins like ice. "The Order of the Phoenix. That is what I wish to discuss tonight. You are a member of the Order, so in a way it concerns you to an extent. Also, having a witness for my testimony will make this more… I don't think legal applies when the Order is in operation without permission from the Ministry, but needless to say it will lead to less complications." Fear was gone and in its place stood determined resolve. He couldn't back out now, not after saying so much. This was what he had chosen and this is the path he would walk… and by the God and the Goddess he would walk it with pride.
Dumbledore leaned forward, resting easily against his elbows. "Remus, perhaps you and Snuffles should resume your seats."
"Yes…" Lupin murmured as he strolled back to the chair he had recently vacated, Snuffles seating himself between the man and Draco. "Of course."
Dumbledore took a moment, his eyes never leaving Draco's and Draco found himself unsettled by the depth of the look. It was as if Dumbledore were dissecting his personality, pealing away each layer until the truth of Draco's intentions were laid bare before him. Suddenly he smiled and gestured towards the other chair before him.
"Please be seated, Draco."
Draco could feel the tension ebbing away as he seated himself, his back resting against the pillow and throw he had seen earlier. It was a comfort of sorts and Draco drew courage from the memory of his purpose. "Thank you, Headmaster."
"What is it you want of the Order?"
Lupin straightened instantly, looking at the Headmaster as though he had completely lost all sense and rational thought. A pale hand found its way to rest against Snuffles, and the dog pressed its head against the hand in a reassuring gesture.
Draco glanced towards the Professor and black dog before looking back at the Headmaster. "This is to be a beginning and I want it to be a correct one. I know about Black," he stated as he motioned towards the black dog, " so there is no reason why he should have to remain in his animagus form. I'm sure he would feel much more comfortable and I would feel better with a human audience."
Dumbledore never took his eyes from Draco, but a slight nod had fur and bone contorting and reshaping into the figure of a man.
"How?" Black asked, glaring at the Slytherin adolescent.
Draco turned his eyes towards the figure, recognizing the face from the posted warranted that had littered the every building in Hogsmeade during third year. He seemed healthier, but still ragged which Draco supposed was the result of a life spent on the run. There was something dark about his character, something that screamed anger and pain and compared to the man sitting in the chair behind him with his quiet and peaceful demeanor, it was a contrast that could be nothing less than perfect. Draco watched as Black grasped out, without any thought Draco imagined, to find Lupin's hand, entwining their fingers lovingly together.
Some people were lucky, Draco mused absently, glancing once more that the joined hands before meeting hard dark eyes.
"Petigrew."
"Peter Petigrew is dead. I killed him." Sirius baited. "Or haven't you heard the tales?"
"You and I both know that isn't true. Just as we both know that you didn't betray Potter's parent's to the Dark Lord or kill those muggles that night. Petigrew did."
"Is that so? And just where did you come upon this knowledge, Malfoy?"
"Same place I learned about the existence of the Order of the Phoenix." Draco smirked at the man that would intimidate him. You have no idea what you're messing with, Black. "I have my connections."
Sirius simply glared down at him and Draco drank in the silence that reigned. They were waiting on him to answer. He was stalling and he knew it… there was no way of going back, but he could draw it out as long as he needed to do this. Dumbledore was observing , letting Black take charge of the inquiry while he assessed and Draco admired his brilliance.
"One learns quite a bit in the company of Voldemort's inner circle."
If there had been any ounce of attention wavering from him, it was now focused back in on him. Suspicion was washing in waves over him and he leaned back trying to maintain the image of ease.
"And you have access to this inner circle?" Black questioned, his eyes narrowed, and voice barely hiding his contempt.
Draco gave him an exasperated look and sighed, "You do remember who my father is, don't you?"
"You're exposing your own father as an active Death Eater with connections to the Dark Lord?"
Draco shrugged, but inside there was some small part of him that hurt at the betrayal he was committing against the man that had once loved him. Once… As a child… No more… "My father's loyalties are nothing you didn't already know."
"Just what is it you want, Draco?" Dumbledore prompted.
Draco leaned forward, steel lining his words, "I wish to join the Order."
"A Malfoy…. A member of the Order!" Sirius burst.
"I don't see how my name has any precedence, but yes a Malfoy as a member."
Sirius looked almost livid, but didn't say anything and Draco had a hunch that it was the pale hand on his arm that held him in check. It was Lupin's inquiring voice that broke the tense silence.
"Why?"
Draco sat there staring into space, his mind running feverishly for an answer that would suit. Some logical part of his brain had told him they would ask why he was doing this. It was only natural to want some reason, some proof that there was something real to his intentions. They had no reason to take his offer at face value, but somehow he had convinced himself that they would jump at the opportunity of a voluntary spy. Someone with his connections and abilities… What was he suppose to say? I'm doing this for a pair of emerald eyes? For an enemy that I have come to love? How would they ever understand what had changed… what he truly wanted?
He closed his eyes a moment, letting the pain wash through him, the hopelessness that had invaded his entire existence, but when he opened his eyes silver-gray shone like steel. Turning away from the other pair of men, he met Dumbledore's gaze, willing that he would see through his mask, overlook his past, and see what he was now.
Blues eyes smiled back at him over the rims of half-moon glasses, but it was a harsh voice that broke the silence and Draco's eyes cut across the room, centering in on Black once more.
"Rehearsal is the key to every great performance, Malfoy."
He allowed the corner of his lips to tilt into the arrogant smirk he had made his trademark, "Yes, but I'm not acting."
"Then answer the question."
"My reasons are personal and my own. I have no intention of making them public to you or anyone…" Leaning back into the chair, he let his hand rest against the soft red throw, "Least of all to you, Black."
Sirius glared back at the youth.
"Regardless of your reasons, Mr. Malfoy, of which you will not share," Lupin intervened, "why should we accept you into the Order?"
"My position within the inner circle, my knowledge of Voldemort's plans would be very beneficial to the Order's purpose. A spy within the very inner circle, only a handful can claim that privilege." Sarcasm and contempt laced that one word as Draco finished. "Certainly you can see the gain in my offer. If I had been a member a few weeks back the incident at Potter's home would not have been cut as close as it was." Draco could feel the tension rise in the room, wave on wave washing over him.
"Such a spy would be beneficial," Lupin began, passing over Malfoy's last statement, aware of rigid figure next to him. "However, your offer could merely be a ploy, setting you up in a position just as beneficial and just as much of a spy for the Dark Lord's purposes rather than ours."
"I have nothing concrete to offer as proof," Draco admitted.
"Exactly…" Sirius sneered.
"Though," Draco interrupted, "the fact that Potter remains alive could be attributed as proof I suppose. Since it was only thanks to my warning letter that you knew anything and actions were able to be taken. What purpose would I have in sabotaging Voldemort's plans, especially when they would have been executed rather flawlessly?" His voice was tired, droning almost as he turned back towards Dumbledore. "I assume you still have the letter Headmaster?"
Dumbledore smiled easily, "No, Mr. Malfoy. Actually, I gave it to Mr. Potter. I knew he would want to see it."
"You gave it to Potter!"
Dumbledore looked amused as Draco straightened quickly, his voice raising slightly. "Yes, I did."
Forcing himself to relax, Malfoy leaned back once more, but his voice was a desolate tone. "I see…"
There was silence for a few moments, time for realization to sink in… or try to.
"Sincere or not, you have no idea what you are committing yourself to, Draco," Lupin attempted at reason. "A life of betrayal, lies, and espionage is not something you should want for yourself."
"I am well aware of what I am offering myself up to though your concern is appreciated," Draco assured.
"The fact remains; however, that no matter how willing you are for this, you are still under-aged and inexperienced," Sirius protested.
Something sparked within the depths of Draco's eyes and his arrogant expression vanished, replaced with one of unreadable emotion. He sat completely still as he replied, "My age, like my name, has little to do with my abilities." He paused for a moment, something harsh flitting across his face, "Though perhaps may name does have something to do with how I was taught to use those abilities, but really, isn't that more focused on my parental upbringing rather than anything else? I'm sure that you will find my experience to be adequate… one is not admitted into the Dark Lord's congregation without credentials and for those further up… the credentials can be staggering." And unsettling.
He hadn't said anything descriptive, nothing to give them any indication of what had transpired, what he had been forced to do to prove his worth, but each one seemed to have a grasp on what he never mentioned. Lupin was looking at him with pity, Sirius with contempt and vague horror, while the Headmaster's eyes held a mixture of sadness and sympathy.
He really didn't need this now…
"I know what I'm doing." He wasn't sure if that statement had been directed at them or at himself.
"There are other ways, Malfoy," Lupin began again. "If you simply wish for a way out of Voldemort's circle, we can offer you protection…"
"Like the protection you gave Potter over the holidays? I think I'll pass. Besides, you don't have the legal abilities to remove me from my father's guardianship." Draco pointed out quietly, but his statement was met with stumbling silence. "I can't escape what is, but I can use it to my advantage… and I'm willing to let it be used to yours as well."
"But are you really prepared for what you would be forced to do?" Lupin came in again. "You would be forced to live a tremendous lie, perform as a Death Eater, betray your father and, if I'm not mistaken, many of your friends at one time or another? It is not a pleasant existence… and should you be discovered… the Killing Curse would be a blessing compared to what would await you."
"I want a choice."
"But there are other.."
"No!" Draco burst. "There are no other choices for me. That is the point!" Draco stood abruptly, pulling back the fabric of his robes and held his arm out to the room. The black skull glared hideously from his pale skin and Draco swore it was mocking him. "I didn't have a choice when they stained me and in doing so they have limited more of my choices than they know." He stared around with twisted pleasure at the shock on the two men's faces, even Dumbledore's smile had faded as he stared at Draco arm. "I have two choices… but a choice none the less and I choose to take it! With or without the Order if necessary."
"Why even come to us then?" Sirius sneered.
"I have already explained the benefits of our alliance." Draco murmured, tiredly. "Must I repeat myself?"
"There must be more…" Lupin suggested vaguely.
"More what?" Draco demanded, extremely proud of the reasonable tone of his words. All he wanted to do was shout at this point.
"More to your decision than simple rebellion and revenge."
"Since when did revenge not constitute a valid motivation?"
"Revenge is never a valid motivation." Lupin stated quietly, glancing at the dark-haired man next to him. "If that is the only foundation your alliance would be based upon… then it is inadequate. It's a shaky support at best, based on pure and unstable emotion that could change rapidly and then where would our alliance be? How could we be sure that your loyalties remain constant?"
"My position will not change." Draco replied, allowing his arm to be covered once more. "What was done to me, will never be forgotten or forgiven. My allegiance once pledged, will never be broken."
"Seems to me you are already breaking a pledge." Sirius' eyes glared at the clothed arm, remembering the stark image.
"I pledged nothing." Draco straightened.
"And yet you wear the Mark."
"I took it because I had no choice, no power to stop it, and because…" He trailed off, refusing to expose more.
"Because?" Sirius prompted.
"That is not important," Draco sighed, glancing back to the chair and the significance of the colorful decorations. Was it even possible? Taking a mental breath he turned back to his audience, "My word, willingly given, is worth more than my life, should it come to that. My allegiance would be binding. I offer it freely."
Lupin looked sad for a moment, as though he were about to make a comment, but thought better of it and Sirius took up the thread of discussion. "We have no proof of that though."
"Potter's life is not enough, then?" Draco countered.
"Harry's life is circumstantial and not liable as proof of your present sincerity or future actions." Sirius ground out. "You and your life must provide proof."
"There are magickal remedies to this problem," Draco offered. "Complete and binding oaths."
"You would make such an oath to the Order?" Sirius asked surprised.
"To the Order? No," Draco answered, hurrying on as Black opened his mouth to speak. "I'm not a fool… I would be bound to countless individuals and that would be insane. I will swear my allegiance to one person… only one."
"Your choice or ours?"
"Mine."
Sirius' eyes narrowed and his voice was harsh, "Of course."
"I will not be bound to just anyone!"
"No." Sirius threw back. "You will choose someone that will allow you to manipulate the oath to your advantage. I knew your father, Malfoy, and you are no different!"
He could feel and he couldn't stop it. He was fed up, tired, and stretched from training and emotions that should never have been. His skin hummed and the air tensed as irritation and anger swept through him. Draco relished the hard tide that rushed over him, reveling in feeling something other than pain for once. He was in control of this… he knew this…
"You will never, ever again compare me in any way to my father, Black!"
He saw the hesitation in the older man's eyes, unconcerned with anyone else in the room. It would only take one step… just one, and he would stand toe to toe with him. He knew what he would see reflected in Black's eyes: hard blue eyes, his own eyes, shimmering with the same light that would surround his form. It would only take one step to see the fear fill Black's eyes. Only one…
He remained standing fast, reigning in his control.
"Never again, Black," he smirked, noticing the bleached white knuckles of the man's fist. "You don't know me, don't know who I am or what I am capable of… so watch your mouth." Draco grinned and spread his arms out on either side, "This is what I am offering you! The weapon of the enemy…" Letting his arm fall back to his sides, a look of despair passed over his face briefly. "Me."
Silence burned the air with the heat of tension that filled it.
"Now will you turn me away!" he spat at Black, even as he felt something cool brush through his power. He felt it sooth and calm, wrapping around him, helping him to force the power back where it belonged.
"Draco…" Dumbledore's voice answered, soft and soothing like the power that was fading away form him.
Taking a deep breath, Draco let a strangled laugh escape as he looked back towards the Headmaster. "I should have expected it to be you…"
Dumbledore merely smiled placidly, indicating the seat once more.
He let himself fall into the deep cushion and closed his eyes, "I want something more than what I was born into. A life of choices and all of them mine… and if it increases the chance of that outcome, I am willing to join your cause." Glancing over toward Dumbledore, Draco sighed and continued, "I have something I want to protect and a purpose, not so different from any of your reasons."
"We accept your offer, Mr. Malfoy."
Everyone turned towards the Headmaster, various levels of surprise on each face.
"Albus.." Sirius began.
Dumbledore simply raised his hand, looking toward Draco. "You will have to make that oath and it will be a person you chose. I will have to approve of your choice, of course," Dumbledore added quickly as Sirius began to protest again.
"Of course, sir." Draco nodded, mechanically. Elation left him vacant and uncertain… It was over… He had his place in the Order, under his terms. A soft smile found its way to the edge of his lips.
"Mr. Malfoy!"
Draco shook his head, clearing his head as he focused in on the voice. The Headmaster sat behind his desk looking amused and Draco quickly took in the room. Black and Lupin were gone and Malfoy stared confused for a moment.
"I dismissed them and am about to dismiss you." There was laughter behind Dumbledore's words. "There will be talk at the next Order meeting, and I will need to know who you chose before then…"
"You already know, don't you?" Draco mused.
Light sparked above the half-moon glasses and Draco caught the faintest of nods from the old man.
"Then do I have your approval?"
"Why don't you ask him first?"
Draco couldn't held the groan that escaped him. "I would prefer if he knew nothing of this…"
Dumbledore seemed to contemplate him for a few minutes before answering. "As you wish. Your choice is approved."
"Thank you." Draco murmured as he turned towards the door.
"He will eventually have to know." Dumbledore's knowing voice followed him sympathetically.
"But not everything…"
Draco could feel the vague pain filling him once more with each step. Bathing him as he opened the door, only to pause when his name was called. Silence pressed in upon him and he was content with it, but it wouldn't last…
"Do you really think he would want this of you?"
"No…" He answered, finding strength in the realization of what he was doing. Why. "But I want to do this for him." Tilting his head he grinned back at the Headmaster, leaving Dumbledore with the familiar image of careless arrogance he had portrayed since First Year. "I'm not giving him a choice."
With that he left the room, closing the door behind him on his way to his bedroom.
Dumbledore stared at the ornate door for a few minutes, a smile creeping into his face.
Finally…
TBC…
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