CHAPTER 2:

Xander did not sleep that night. And it's not like he could blame it on being on African time anymore. Cordelia died? Why didn't anyone tell him? This was not what he needed right now. He had just gotten over Anya, and now this. Willow said she was in a coma. Why no one in Angel's team say anything? Willow had taken the time to tell them about Buffy's death, and she even called them when she was resurrected. Xander didn't understand why they didn't bother doing the same with Cordelia.

Xander left his room early the next morning. He made his way to Andrew's. He needed answers. And the girls didn't have any. But Andrew had seen Angel last year. Maybe he could help him understand.


Spike is back. Angel and Cordelia are dead. Dawn had manages to sort of accept those huge bombshells drop on her last night. The only way for her to be able to get out of bed was to not think about it at the moment. Focus on something or someone else. She was thinking in Buffy. How was Buffy handling it? The last time Angel died she ran to Los Angeles for a whole summer. But this was different.

"Dawn, over here." Kennedy called to Dawn to join her by the lake, where she was talking to Kelly and Gail, two of the now many slayers.

"Hey." Dawn greeted. "Please tell me you're talking about anything but last night's events."

"Are you kidding? A vampire coming back from the dead is huge!" Kelly said.

"It's not as huge as you think." Dawn told the slayer remembering Angel's comeback. "Besides, he's good now. He has a soul." Dawn added channeling her inner Buffy.

"He is good." Gail said. "When we were staying at Buffy's he didn't kill us. And he could've."

"Well he may be good, but it's still weird how he... de-dusted?" Kennedy interjected.

It was weird. And thanks to these slayers Dawn was thinking about it. She only hope Buffy was having a better time dealing with it.


"You're upset." Illyria once again stated the obvious. Spike didn't bother to reply. Her face was all he could think about. He hated himself. Buffy was hurt. And he cause it. Why the he hell did everything had to turn out this way? Why was he the messenger? Why the bloody fates keep torturing his existence? Why didn't he care anymore?

"I wish to go out." The blue hair woman said as she left the small hotel room they were staying in. Spike didn't bother to ask about her private escapades. All he could think about was Buffy. Nothing but.

What happen to the vampire in him? Or better yet, what happen to the man? What is he supposed to do now? Live like Angel? Help the helpless? He needed to move on. He needed to see her again.


"Xander!" Andrew seemed surprised to see him. He left Xander in without even waiting for him to ask him. Andrew always gave Xander what he wanted. Something that Xander did not enjoy. "Can I help you?" The younger man asked.

"I was just wondering..."

"Why didn't I tell you about Spike."

"That's not where I was planning to go, but yeah."

Andrew looked down. He was obviously ashamed about keeping a secret from the gang. It still surprised Xander how long Andrew kept this to himself. The guy was, for lack a better word, a total blabber mouth. And he thought that Andrew understood that he was one of them now. He shouldn't keep secrets.

"I wanted to tell you." Andrew answered breaking the silence that had taken over.

"I'm not mad. I just... this is way to much information to handle right now." Xander started to pace around. "I was just getting over Anya... I..." Xander wanted to cry. But the tears simply stopped flowing a long time ago.

Andrew sat on his bed, looking down to his feet and spoke softly. "I'm sorry. But I didn't think it was appropriate to tell you guys. He needed to tell you himself."

"You're right." Xander said as he sat next to Andrew. "I just wanted to know if you knew about Cordelia."

"Oh." Andrew's face said it all. He didn't know. Xander knew he wouldn't. But Andrew gave him comfort. And that's what he wanted. He hated himself for it.


Dawn spent the rest of that day walking in the hallways. Every once in awhile she peeked inside the classrooms. She was avoiding the Elephant in the room as they say. Why do things always get complicated when they seem to be fine?

"Dawn!" Willow said when she bumped into her. "Sorry. I guess my mind's in other places."

"I know the feeling" Dawn agreed before adding "Unless you're talking literally, because of magic your mind's in other places?"

"No. I meant I feel all weirdly because of Spike visit." The witch corrected.

"I wish Giles were here." Dawn wished. The watcher had been having to many responsibilities to actually spend anytime with them. And he still hadn't return from Liverpool.

"Maybe we can call him tonight." Willow offered. "Maybe we can convince him to comeback early."

Dawn only hope.


Night. It was time to go back to see Buffy. After a few failed attempts of walking out of the hotel and a couple of shots of "courage", he was on his way to the Summers Academy. To see her.

It was the only solution. They only way he could think of to move on. For the past seven years or so Buffy Summers has been all that had identified him. When he was the vampire that wanted to kill her. When he was the vampire that had no choice, thanks to a bloody chip, but to fight on her side. When he was the vampire that loved her. When he was the vampire that search and got a soul for her. When he was the vampire who died saving the world for her. And later being the vampire that took her from Angel.

Buffy Summers defined him. But were they going to have a future together? No. It was stupid to hold on. Guess it's time for closure. Like every good love story, they needed an ending. And now was as good a time as any.


Xander open the door to his room. He felt terrible. He had done it again. He had taken advantages of Andrew. A boy that had an obvious crush on him. And Xander had used him, yet again.

After the battle, Xander did not speak with the others for a while. He had made some jokes about it, acting normal for the others, but inside he was torn up. He had never left Sunnydale, except for the time when he left on his failed road trip. And now his home was gone.

Ok, Sunnydale was never an ideal place to live, but that's where he grew up. He lost his home. His family didn't even bother to tell them where they went. Not that he couldn't find out anyway. And he loss Anya. He didn't think Buffy, or even Willow could understand. And then there was him.

Andrew.

Andrew was the walking image of what Xander felt during those days. He felt guilty over his past, and over his part taking in the First's plans.

It started innocently enough. He would sneak in his room at night and talk to Andrew. About stupid stuff. And then about what was bothering them. He eventually started to accidentally fall asleep in his room during their talks. But then, it was a regular deal that lasted about four months. And yes, there was sex. Although it happen like maybe three or five times. Most night they just help each other. They were intimate. All he wanted was someone who cared for him. And no matter how much Buffy and Willow loved him, the only one that would give him the attention he wanted to move on was Andrew.

And then, What does Xander do? He leaves for Africa without an explanation. He kept in touch with Andrew, but it was obviously not like before. He knew that he broke Andrew's hearth and still felt guilty about it for a long time.

And what? He returns and he does it again. He felt like scum. But then, again, when it came to relationships he always made wrong decisions.

When he was with Cordelia he made out with Willow. When he was with Anya he left her at the altar. And now Andrew. All of these relationships started for selfish reasons. With Cordy it was teen hormones. With Anya it was sex. With Andrew it was companionship. But the first two turned into love. Couldn't it happen with Andrew? Or did he wish it would happen so he wouldn't feel like he was using him.


"Are you ok?" Dawn asked Andrew when they were having dinner that night.

"I'm fine." He said quickly. How's Buffy doing?" he asked obviously wanting to change the subject.

Dawn felt there was more to Andrew's mood, but she let it go. "She's... well... I haven't seen her since this morning, when I woke up. She didn't want to talk."

"Angel was cool. He looked like a nice guy when I met him." Andrew said still avoiding the real issue.

"He was. If he didn't loose his soul." Dawn started to remember when she met Angel. She was just kid, sure. To her Angel was this dark guy who like to talk a lot. But he did save her when stuff happened. He was nice. Buffy must be a wrecked right about now.

"Dawn?" Andrew brought Dawn back from her thoughts.

"What?" She said hoping he was going to tell her what was bothering him.

Andrew hesitated first and then said "I talked to Giles about operating from the US."

Not what Dawn expected. "Really? Why?"

"Well, I think is for the best." Andrew started. "I think we all need a place to go back to a more familiar place."

"Hmm, I guess I've been thinking about moving back there myself" dawn admitted. She had finished her studies and was looking for a Collage education. She could use that as an excuse to move back to California.

"You think Xander will go back to Africa if he has the option to move back?" So that's why he was acting strange. He was afraid Xander would leave him again.

Dawn knew what was going on between them. But with everything going on it slip her mind. Spike being back certainly beat Xander being gay or bisexual or just like Andrew in a stronger than friendship way. Why analyze what makes two people happy? But something was wrong now. Andrew had not updated Dawn on the situation. So something must've happen. Maybe it didn't work long distance.

"I'm sure he'll go if you asked him." Dawn told Andrew and he seemed to like that answer. If only Buffy's problem could be solved that easily.


Spike entered the School grounds. He didn't want to make as big deal like last night, so he made sure he was careful sneaking in.

The place was like a mace. But lucky for Spike he was a vampire. And thanks to that he could follow Buffy's scent. He was thankful that the slayers were not in the same wing as Buffy. He didn't want to imagine how fast he would be spotted if he was walking down those hallways.

He opened the door to what appear to be a training room. Buffy was taken out her anger on a punching bag. Hit after hit. Each blow got stronger every minute. She then proceeded to kick it several times. Then a punch, jab, double punch, high kick, punch, three more kicks and the final blow. The bag burst open and the sand fell on her feet. She looked at Spike not seeming surprise he was there.

"Sun sets an he appears." Buffy greeted Spike like he greeted her once. At lease she seem better today.

"How are you?" Spike asked cursing himself for not coming up with anything better to say. He was a poet for God sakes.

"I'm... coping." Buffy said grabbing a fighting staff. "Wanna fight?" Spike was not expecting Buffy to be so ok with this. But he knew that he had cried all day. Maybe she was moving to the anger stage of dealing with death. To vampires thew death stages stopped existing. People die you move on. Unless the person that dies is Buffy. At lease in Spike's case

Spike accepted the challenge. He took his coat off and grabbed another fighting staff. "Wow, I can believe you still have that coat." Buffy exclaimed as they took their positions.

"Actually is not the same one." He said just before she made her first move.

The fight was a good way to break the ice. Spike hadn't had a fight in quite a while. Last one he could remembered happen after the big fight actually. A vampire tried to attack a young boy. Spike was strong enough to fight him, though it was Illyria who killed him off.

Buffy caught Spike of guard and swept the staff under his feet. He fell on his back. Buffy pointed the staff to his hearth. "And you're dead." she said and then help Spike up.

"I see you haven't lost your touch." Spike complemented.

"Guess not." Buffy said, before she kissed him. Spike was not expecting this. But he didn't refuse him. He wanted to get closure. But it seems to be something that was not going to happen soon.

To be continued...