TITLE: The Path
AUTHOR: agentj
STATUS: complete
DATE: February 2005
CATEGORY: Vignette: Angst
CHARACTERS: Obi-Wan Kenobi
TIMEFRAME: Pre-Saga: Jedi Apprentice
CONTENT WARNING: none
SUMMARY: Obi-Wan finds a deeper connection in the Force by following the Path.
AUTHOR'S NOTES: Originally, this was a response to an Obi-Wan challenge showing Obi-Wan doing the same thing at three different stages of his life. I only got part one done. It can stand alone, but maybe if my other plot bunnies leave me alone I might get back to this one.
DISCLAIMER: I willingly and willfully use characters and situations copyrighted by Twentieth Century Fox and Lucasfilm Ltd. without permission, and without monetary gain. Additional characters and situations are copyright 2005 Lisa D. Jenkins.
Donning his robe, Obi-Wan asked his Master Qui-Gon Jinn permission to go out and meditate privately. Absorbed in his own thoughts, Qui-Gon absently nodded. Obi-Wan paused a moment at the door, observing the broad shouldered man kneeling on the floor to begin his own meditation. Obi-Wan knew that the act of meditation together would help secure the broken bond between them, but at the same time, he sensed Qui-Gon had his own wounds to heal after watching his former Padawan Xanatos fall to his death rather than admit defeat.

And the wound of dead friends still lingered in his mind as well.

Obi-Wan made his way through the Temple quietly, using his steps to guide him into a trance. He found himself heading not for the gardens nor the lake in the Room of a Thousand Fountains, but to a level higher, a meditative chamber meant for more advanced students of the Jedi arts. The darkened room had a lighted pattern on the floor—a winding path meant for the Jedi to traverse while he meditated about his own path in life, the path of past and futures, the path of all Jedi. Also along various points in the journey were meditative chimes the Jedi would touch or brush against, setting off a soft tinkling sound. Thus the meditative chamber was called the Path of the Chimes.

It was not forbidden for a Padawan to come to the Path of the Chimes, but many did not until their later years of training or perhaps not until after they had faced the Jedi Trials and became a Knight. Obi-Wan had allowed the Force to guide his footfalls, and this was the place it had carried him. Trusting in the Force, Obi-Wan entered and began down the Path.

Obi-Wan had been to the Path of the Chimes once before with Qui-Gon. It was shortly after he and his master had been paired together, and after his first brush with Qui-Gon's former student. Qui-Gon had silently led Obi-Wan here, and the boy did not question his master. In complete silence save for the chimes of the bells, rustle of a cloak and shuffling of feet, Obi-Wan followed.

Qui-Gon had wrapped himself with a cloak of personal thoughts Obi-Wan could not penetrate. Lacking the discipline for deeper meditative states, Obi-Wan found the exercise boring, and had to circumvent the urge to stray off the Path. He did admit, however, the sound of the chimes particularly soothing, and found himself humming absently with the rhythmless abstract tune it seemed to create.

Obi-Wan came to the first set of chimes, and with a delicate touch, set them in motion. For Xanatos, he dedicated the lifting sound to the darkness. Obi-Wan had sensed the dark tendrils of the Force twisted around Xanatos the few times he fought against him, but despite all his anger, all of Xanatos' hate, Qui-Gon still had love in his heart for the young man who had once been his apprentice. Obi-Wan felt it when Qui-Gon called to Xanatos before making his fatal leap. If he somehow thought Xanatos could have survived the pit, Qui-Gon would have jumped in after him.

Qui-Gon's devotion initially surprised Obi-Wan. Since their mission at Melida/Daan and Obi-Wan's breaking of the sacred trust between Master and Padawan when he chose to stay and fight in the Young's faction to achieve peace on their world, Obi-Wan sensed a troubled rift between himself and his master. Although Qui-Gon returned when Obi-Wan called for help, the teenaged boy knew things would never be the same between them. Like Xanatos, Obi-Wan had defied Qui-Gon. Like Xanatos, Obi-Wan broke Qui-Gon's trust.

Unlike Xanatos, Obi-Wan remained firmly in the Light.

So it confused Obi-Wan when Qui-Gon declared he would take the boy back as his Padawan. Assuredly, it elated him as well, for he had thought of nothing but his desire to remain Qui-Gon's pupil since their return from Melida/Daan. What had swayed Qui-Gon's decision?

The love that remained in his heart for Xanatos, a knowingness rose within him. Although it reflected Obi-Wan's voice, he knew it was not his own thought, but the Force that spoke.

Yes, Obi-Wan realised, if Qui-Gon found it in himself to love the man who was no longer obtainable, no longer able to be saved, how then could he turn himself away from someone who needed him so much? Someone willing to stay by his side. Someone who loved him.

Obi-Wan came to the next set of chimes. His eyes flickered up to them, and with a gentle nudge in the Force, set them ringing. For Qui-Gon, he dedicated. He knew his master would need all the strength he could find in himself, despite being a great powerhouse of a man and warrior in the Force. Slowly, Obi-Wan was beginning to see the delicate nature of a man's heart. Perhaps that is why Master Yoda paired the two together. Only when a man could sense another man's heart could he truly be understood.

In spite of his flaws, Xanatos had once been a good man. Qui-Gon had the ability to see that.

Obi-Wan frowned at the third chime as he approached it. He hesitated a moment, then softly caressed the chime. It tinkled softly under his touch. For Bruck, he thought sadly. He had never gotten along with the headstrong boy. Obi-Wan himself was too headstrong to see Bruck's desperate attempts to make friends by picking fights with them. It was not the Jedi way. Bruck had been admonished many times for his brashness, and Obi-Wan had scorned Bruck. How could Obi-Wan become a Jedi if he could not see the good in men's hearts? Bruck had turned to the Dark—whether by trickery or as a personal choice, Obi-Wan would never know—but he had always been earnest in his pursuit to become a great Jedi. Obi-Wan would always remember that about Bruck.

Still, there was a sadness in his heart when he thought of their last duel. Obi-Wan had clashed sabres with Bruck many times before as an Initiate, but never with full-strength power, never with real lightsabres. Bruck had beaten him many times. In their final battle, the shear strength of Bruck's desperation and anger fell behind every blow. Yet, in the end, it was Obi-Wan who remained standing. Bruck had lost his footing above the dry waterfall. He fell, and there was nothing Obi-Wan could do to save him.

Obi-Wan gave the burden of Bruck's soul to the Force and continued along the Path.

For Bant, Obi-Wan dedicated the next chime. For Siri. These were two of his friends he had recently hurt with sour words. One friend he loved dearly, the other set him off like a ship careening in hyperspace with no nav computer. He had spoken his apologies to Bant, for their friendship was strong, but as yet, Obi-Wan hadn't made things right with Siri. Like Bruck, Siri tended to ignite sparks in Obi-Wan. In honour of Bruck's memory, Obi-Wan was determined not to let his stubborn nature get the best of him. He would set things right with Siri the next time he saw her. He promised.

Obi-Wan slowed as he approached the next chime. This dedication would be the hardest. Obi-Wan reached out and caressed the chime. For Cerasi. His thoughts turned to Melida/Daan, and the fire-haired girl with the emerald eyes who had commanded his trust and loyalty. He remembered her rock-set determination in her jaw whenever she'd speak of achieving peace for her people. Ironically, it was her death which was the catalyst for peace—although without Qui-Gon's help, it could have easily gone the other way.

Obi-Wan remembered the scene vividly, etched in his psyche by emotion and his Jedi-trained abilities. Cerasi swung out skillfully from the underground passageways and placed herself without a thought between the two warring factions. An energy bolt struck out and hit its mark. Cerasi fell to the ground, surprise and shock lining her young face.

Tears started to stream down Obi-Wan's face, the darkness of the room hiding his weakness. Slowly, Obi-Wan closed his eyes and dropped his folded hands to his side. He released his pain and regret to the Force.

Obi-Wan's face lifted as an amazing feeling began to overtake him. It felt like the lives of Jedi Masters who had gone before him, who had walked this Path of the Chimes thousands of years before his existence, were passing through him.

Suddenly every chime in the room began to ring.

With shock and embarrassment, Obi-Wan opened his eyes, the fleeting sensation disappearing as quickly as it had come. Four other Jedi Masters were also at various stages of walking the Path. All of them had stopped and turned to look at Obi-Wan. The teenaged boy, suddenly quite aware that his Padawan haircut made him very conspicuous here, ducked his head, replaced the hood of his cloak that had fallen when he lifted his head, and pressed his hands into the arms of his cloak. In small, quick steps, Obi-Wan left the Path of the Chimes.

Blindly, Obi-Wan returned to a level lower and found a secluded spot in the gardens. There he sat in meditative fashion, but his mind was a whirl. What was the sensation he felt at the end of the Path? Why had the chimes rang simultaneously?

For the first time in his life, Obi-Wan had felt a oneness in the Force he had never felt before. Even if he tried, he would never be able to put the sensation into words. Perhaps that was why, when Qui-Gon found him in the garden an hour later, Obi-Wan didn't speak of the experience to his master. They were being called to another mission, despite the fact Obi-Wan was on probation. Qui-Gon had defied the Council, insisting Obi-Wan was his Padawan and needed to be with him. Pushing all other thoughts aside, Obi-Wan tucked the mystical experience away, hoping to get an opportunity to speak of it with his master in the future.

But he never did.