Disclaimer: I do not own Newsies. I take all claims to Liz, Hoodlie, Chicken Wing and Josh. I do not own Christina, she's owned by Blue Boxer; I do not own Tag Along, she's owned by Tag Along.
"For the first time the realization came to Snitch. He was no longer the boy Liz wanted, the boy Liz loved. He was just the boy keeping her from what she wanted most, Oscar to be happy with her."
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Christina and Liz walked and talked all the way to Blink's selling spot. Chris was so nervous. She didn't know what to think or what to do. If she was left alone, she would be ruined. She couldn't be alone. She wouldn't survive if she was alone. She loved Blink, she needed him. And deep down she knew he needed her too. What would he do? What would he say? How would he react? She didn't know. No one knew.
Liz was impassive at the whole situation. She was just there to make sure Chris tells Blink what's going on. She had no say in anything anymore. She had no friends. She had no one. Everyone who considered her a friend, she brushed off. She just wanted to do the right thing. She was confused about everything. Her world fell apart in a split second. She watched the once unbreakable walls crumble down right before her eyes. She didn't know what to do. She lived, waiting to die. Hoping to die. Needing to die.
"Liz, I can't do dis." Christina told Liz, backing out. She was now crying, shaking inside.
"It's okay, Chris." Liz assured. "You'll be fine. He'll understand, he'll always love you. I know it."
"Are you sure?"
"Yes."
Christina nodded, took a deep breath and walked over to her boyfriend, who was hard at work. She sniffed again, looked back at Liz and knew this was it. "Blink, could I talk tah you please?" She asked, nervously.
"Yeah sure. Hold on a second." He told her, trying to sell a few more papers.
"No now." Liz said firmly. Her face was firm, her words were cold. She had no compassion anymore, no happiness, no empathy. All anger. All hate. All everything, but what she used to be.
"Alright, alright." Blink said, noticing her change. "What is it?" He asked.
A tear fell down Christina's cheek. "I can't do dis." She said turning away.
"Chris, you have to. Listen tah me, I'm not gonna do dis for you." Liz told her, stopping her from running away. "He'll never leave you, Chris. He loves you. He'll listen an' he'll understand. I know it. Just tell him."
"But what if he leaves me?"
"He won't. I know it." She assured. "Now go and talk tah him."
Blink was standing there confused. He didn't know what was going on. Why are they talking like that? Leave her? Why would I leave her? Did she cheat on me? What? "What is it, Chris?" He asked, a little fearful.
Christina gulped. "Umm...well remember dat one night after da dance?" She asked. Her heart racing a mile a minute.
"Yeah?"
"Well, um...Blink I'm..." She couldn't bring herself to say the word.
"You're what?"
"Starts with a 'p', ends with a 't', and has a 'g' in the middle."
Blink thought for a while. "What?"
"She's pregnant you fucking asshole." Liz blurted out. Everyone looked at her, wide eyed. "Sorry."
Blink thought for a few moments, taking everything in. "Chris is dis true?" He asked. Christina sniffed and nodded as another tear streaked down her cheek. Blink gave an unexpected expression, he smiled and his eye lightened. "No way! I'm a dad?" He yelled happily.
"I'm so sorry Blink. I never meant for this to happen!" Chris cried more.
He picked her up and swung her around. "No! Oh my God! Chrissy!" He said as he kissed her. "I'm a father! Blink's a father! Woo!" He started running around throwing his papers everywhere.
Chris was confused a little bit. But she smiled. "Oh my gosh." She looked over at Liz who had the same expressionless look on her face. She frowned and looked like she was going to cry.
Blink kept running around 'wooing' and stuff. It was pathetic, but he was really really happy about it, because he's cool like that.
Liz turned and started walking away. "Liz?" Christina yelled running after her. "What..."
"No. I have tah go." She said not looking at her.
"Talk to me please."
Liz spoke Chinese to her, and she walked off. She didn't want anything to do with it. She did what she came to do and now it was her time to go. She was supposed to make sure Chris told him and she did. Now she was to leave and be alone, the way she liked it.
"Liz?" Chris yelled again, but she didn't answer. She was gone, off, alone.
She walked alone through the lonely, people filled streets of New York. She had no home, it seemed. She wanted nothing more to leave the city. She hated it. She hated everything. Nothing was going right. Nothing could go right. Too much has happened and it couldn't.
Alone she strode along. Step after step, marching to the music of the people living their life. She was forbidden to live hers. Her life was in shambles because of a man. Her dreams were haunted because of his face. Her mind was overloaded with thoughts and fears. But she kept on. She kept living, for what? For another day. For her last day. For life itself.
Hiding from the light, she walked from secret cul-de-sac to secret cul-de-sac. Dark, abandoned alley way, to the other. Darkness was her life, it was her world. She had no sunrise, all night loneliness.
Images. Pictures. Flashbacks. Hidden fears hiding behind every corner. How many people screamed at the very spot she was standing? How many women were battered and bruised here? How many children were beaten here? How many people cried alone behind this barrel? How many lonely children hid themselves from the world here? The world was a secret, a big secret. History was reality, reality was history. There was no past; the past was alive right now. There couldn't be a present, because it was overtaken by what happened in the past. There could be no future, there was nothing to live for, nothing to look forward to.
A hand. Was it imagined? Or was it real? It was hard to tell anymore. Liz shuddered. She was turned around, staring into the face of her fear, her haunting. He haunted her, he consumed her. He consumed her mind, her dreams, and her life. He was her life. Everything was about him. She hated him, yet she felt as though it was her purpose in life to make sure he was happy.
That was it. He was never happy. He was sick, twisted, and unhappy. Nothing she did could make him happy. He just kept wanting more and more. Should I give in? She was confused. She was alone. Snitch never had to deal with this shit.
A hand on her back. His calloused hand cupped her face. She hated it. She hated the feeling of his hands all over her. It nauseated her; it made her sick to her stomach. She locked eyes with him. Black eyes mixed with light hazel eyes. The colors were stone cold, as was his hands. Always cold, cold as he was.
Immoral. An adjective, meaning: violating principles of right and wrong. Amoral. An adjective, meaning: without moral standards or principles. They're antonyms of each other. What the hell, they both describe Oscar Delancey. Consistent, wanting, and pure evil. Everything about that boy was pure. He was pure immoral. He was pure amoral. Pure evil. He specialized in taking the purity out of the innocent souls whom walk on his path of destruction. It was a game to him. It was his job. His purpose and meaning in life.
He sold his soul to the devil, he was the devil. He was a ghost. A pure spirit, except one who will never leave you, no matter if he's visible or not. He'll haunt you, he'll possess you, he'll violate you...he'll kill you.
Silent, she stared into his eyes. Angry, she obeyed his orders. Haunted, she felt as though she needed him. Hating him, she loved him. He was everything to her. He was what she woke up every morning to see. Her responsibility was him. She was his slave. He was her master. Slowly demoralizing her, teaching her what he knows and follows, using her to his advantage. I fucking hate you! I want to see you die you stupid asshole. But I can't. I'll fucking kill you so slowly, so painfully! I'll spit on you when I walk by your dead body. You'll cry for mercy, and I'll crush your hope. I fucking hate you. I'll fight you, in my dreams I'll always fight you. I'll walk away. You'll scream at me, you'll possess me. I'll turn around and I'll cry for you. You stupid fucking bastard, you'll never get me. You'll never control me. She thought.
"Kiss me you whore." Kiss him? She couldn't possibly. She hated him. Evil matched hatred, they fought. Clawing and slashing at every hope she once had, she obeyed. Eyes wide open, looking away from the fire in his eyes, the want, the lust, he wanted her. She wanted to kill him. He wanted to kill her, but he'd make her suffer first.
She parted her lips and laid them upon his, as he pushed into her, making her tremble with fear. Not this time. Not again. She told herself. Leave. Get out of here! Save yourself. He'll go away. He'll never find you. You'll never find you. Run away! She dug her nails into his back, grasping the rim of his vest. He slid his tongue into her mouth. That fucking bastard!
She slashed his face with her nails. He kicked her in the stomach, making her fall to her knees. He stepped closer to her, unbuttoning his pants. She grabbed his hands, and clawed at his wrists.
He pulled his wrists away, watching the blood ooze from his veins. He plugged the scratch with his finger and looked at Liz. "You think dat bothers me?" His sinister stare gave her shivers up her spine.
"You think you scare me?"
"I do." He voiced.
"You don't scare me."
"Alright den." He told her, thrusting his strong arms down to her neck and picking her up and throwing her against the brick wall, pushing himself against her. "You remember dis?" He said, pushing himself against her.
Forget. Please forget. She couldn't forget. She tried, but she couldn't. She reached down into her pocket and got out the knife she had been hiding. Oscar knew what she was doing, and quickly pushed her hand to the wall so that the knife wouldn't strike him. She fought him, but he was, obviously, stronger. He turned her arm so that the knife was directly touching her neck.
"I could kill you right now, bitch." He told her.
"Do it, please."
He gave her a funny, confused look. Do it? I can't kill her. I just can't. She can't want me to, she's fucking crazy if she thinks I'm actually going to do this. He thought.
"Please..." She begged, standing silently still.
"No." He told her. "I'm not."
"Why not? C'mon, do it. You want to so badly."
"Because killing shows weakness, and I'm certainly not weak. I can't be weak." He said letting go of the knife and taking it from her. "What da fuck is wrong wid you?" He asked.
"I want tah die, Oscar." She cried.
He grabbed her shoulders. "Don't you ever fucking say dat! If I want you tah die, I'll kill you myself. If you fucking do anything, I swear tah God I'll kill Snitch. You understand me?" Liz nodded. "You're not gonna die, an' you're not gonna try tah die either. I'll fucking go after the faggot an' kill him myself. Alright?" Liz nodded.
"Hey!" Snitch yelled. Both looked around at him. "Hey!" He yelled again as he ran to them.
Oscar gave her one last look and pulled her to him to kiss her, and he fled away. Liz was crying now, confused, afraid. "No! Wait!" She yelled as she ran after Oscar, Snitch swept her up in his arms. "Let me go! Snitch, no I need tah talk tah him! Please."
"Liz, let 'im go! Let 'im go!" Snitch struggled to get her in his grip.
"No! I have to! I have to, Snitch!"
"No! Stay here wid me, forget about him. Liz, stop!" He yelled as she was flailing and kicking. "Jus' stop!"
"Please! Let me go!"
"NO!" Finally Liz stopped fighting him and went limp in his arms as she cried. "You're okay. It's not your fault."
"I'm sorry." She cried.
"No, don't be sorry. It's okay." Okay? I never dealt with it like this. That's what makes her different from me. I could handle it. She can't. I have to make her strong. She's never going to make it through. She's never going to make it through if she doesn't try. Why is she like this? I don't understand. I wish I could see what she thinks. Hear what she says. Watch what she does. If only I saw what he did to her. If only I felt what she felt. We're distant from each other. She has her own secrets, and I have mine. She has mixed feelings, as do I. He fucked with her mind. He made her want him, he made her think she wanted him. She hates him, but she feels she needs him. But she doesn't. She can't. She needs me. She wants me! But she doesn't. She doesn't. For the first time the realization came to Snitch. He was no longer the boy Liz wanted, the boy Liz loved. He was just the boy keeping her from what she wanted most, Oscar to be happy with her. The antagonist of this story, he couldn't be. He was. He didn't want to be, but words don't care about wants. They have no feelings, such as equations. They're just there. As was Oscar, never feeling, never fearing. He didn't care what you wanted; he didn't care what you needed. He only cared what he wanted and what he thought he needed.
But don't call it selfish. He doesn't know anything about being selfish. All he knew is what he experienced. A lifetime of being abused, neglected, and alone. He used everything he once felt, against everyone else. It was ingenious, to him. He ruined lives, and he laughed about it. He broke hearts, and he was proud of it. He tore even the closest of friends apart, and he triumphed. His life was to ruin others, to steal everything they had and give it to himself. Although it wasn't selfish, it was what he did. Never using what he's gained, he forgot about it, thus making him want more and more...until eventually there isn't enough left for him to want. And what will become of them then? Nothing, they'll parish. Too much will have happened, and they'll lose it all. Their sanity, their innocence, and their life.
Whoa, these chapters just keep getting, um, I don't know. But I like them. I'm very proud of them. Well the narration part at least. Hehe. I love it. But yeah, this chapter is self-explanitory. I don't need to explain anything. Can you find the foreshadowing in this chapter? If you can, good for you! It sticks out like a sore thumb! But it's not coming up next. shakes head Nope, it'll be later though, much later. I have a lot of other things planned now. Hehe. So yeah, I hope you enjoyed this very dark, narrative chapter. Lovvies.
SO to:
Blue Boxer
JustDuck
And Splashey.
Love you guys! Read and review please! I'll love you forever, even more than I already do!
