Spinning the Wheel 10 - Campfire Tales

The smell of melted cheese drifted to her nose - cheese, mushrooms, pineapple, ham and pepperoni. It smelled like heaven although Buffy had a hell of a time juggling with the pizza box, her purse and the doorbell.

Finally she managed to ring and pushed the door open with her butt. The stairs weren't a real problem although she hated it when she couldn't see her feet. She had a slight tendency to trip and with the pizza… not a good idea.

The door to the apartment was open again. Buffy always wondering about that. Despite the fact that Spike hadn't any friends or other people around, he left the door open. About anybody could bust in and rob him or something. But that was his business.

"Anybody here?" Buffy called into the hallway and kicked the door shut with the heel of her boot. Standing on one leg she took the most of her balance away and she wavered. Her purse slipped from her shoulder into the crook of her elbow and gave the pizza box an extra amount of gravity.

"No food stains on my carpet, please." Out of nowhere a hand reached out to and grab the carton. Buffy found her balance back again.

"Not if I can avoid them." she said, a cheerful smile on her face. "Hi."

Spike looked up at her with a quizzical frown.

"I know, I'm a little late but we had extra rehearsal in theatre class today. I wanted to call but I don't have your number, so… but I brought you pizza. Hope that makes up for the delay." Her smile never wavered.

"Pizza?" he raised an eyebrow at her.

"Yeah. Major make-up factor. Plus, I went by on my way here." she shrugged.

"Well, then." he moved back and over into the kitchen.

Buffy followed him, placing the carton on the table.

"Watch out for the papers, will you?" he called from the kitchen, taking out two plates from one of the cabinets.

"Ah… yeah." she pushed the box a little aside and started collecting the bunch of papers, filled in neat hand-writing. "Is that one of your short stories?" she asked, reading over the first few lines on the paper on top.

"Don't you read that." he put the plates on the table, his tone serious.

"Whups, sorry. Didn't mean to." Buffy quickly put the papers aside.

"Didn't mean to be rude." he cut in, his voice a little lighter now. "It's just... I don't like people to read stuff before it's finished. I don't feel very comfortable about it."

"Sure, understand that." Buffy smiled apologetically and lifted the lid of the pizza box.

"You sure the cook did actually try that combination?" Spike eyed the pizza doubtfully than shot the same glance up at her.

"That's actually my choice. I didn't know what you like so... I tried to cover all the possibilities."

Buffy looked a little disappointed. Was that really a good idea?

"No, it's okay. I eat almost everything. As long it hasn't more than four and no legs." he twisted his mouth in disgust but Buffy smiled at that.

"That's a good philosophy. Mind if I share?" she sat down at the table, grabbing a plate and took one of the pizza slices.

"Not at all."

Buffy greedily stuffed the slice into her mouth, chewing on it with an expression of pleasure on her face. "God, I'm so starved." she said munching.

"Don't they give you food at college?" Spike eyed her doubtfully, taking a slice of pizza himself, and inspected the topping.

"They do but that was aeons ago. Plus theatre class is so exhausting sometimes."

"What do you do?"

"Mostly we do the theory stuff. Like breathing and speaking techniques. We haven't got into the rehearsal yet. But our teacher thought we should be extra prepared for that." Buffy rolled her eyes and shrugged.

"Have you picked a play yet?" he asked, starting to eat himself. The delicate smell of the pizza making his stomach growl in protest.

"Yeah." Buffy swallowed before she spoke again. "That Sean Connery memorial thing." She waved her hand around and shrugged again.

"Huh?" Spike raised an eyebrow at her, stopping in his tracks to take a bite of pizza.

"This... Scottish thing."

"Macbeth?" he asked, a smile playing around his lips.

"Exactly, I keep forgetting that damn name. Although I have a part in it." Buffy shook her head in disgust about the thought of staying on stage with a bunch of people who had a lot more experience than her.

"What part?"

"That guy's wife. I didn't mean to, they just forced it onto me and I didn't have a choice."

Spike's smile widened. The horrid look on Buffy's face was priceless.

"You should do that more often, you know?" Buffy looked at him, cocking her head to one side. An amused look on her face.

"What?" Spike gave a little start, his eyes widened in surprise.

"Smiling." Buffy expression was totally serious and she locked eyes with him. "Suits you fine."

They looked at each for a while, the sincerity on her face never wavered. She really meant it, even more than she was giving away. Since they'd met she had never seen him smiling more than a split second and even than it had never touched his eyes. But this time as they were musing over everyday stuff it did and a tiny sparkle gleamed at the corner of his eyes.

Spike was the one to look away first. That honest look in Buffy's face was just too much for now. The little banter they had was actually more than he could bear. He'd thought about their meeting yesterday, the way she had touched him and that they were finally starting to get along. Yeah, it was like that although he had desperately tried to deny it. He couldn't let her that close, she couldn't invade his personal space like that. And now the compliments? That was just too much.

"I did that play back in England once." he tried to change the subject, paying more attention to his pizza than on the blonde in front of him who actually looked a little disappointed.

"You did?" Buffy asked, trying not to give away that she wasn't that glad about the change in subject. She had really meant that compliment but he didn't react to it the way she had expected. She just wanted to be nice and build some kind of connection but he pushed her away.

"Yeah, some year's ago. When I was still in school." he replied, taking a bite of pizza.

"So… you might help me with my text when we start rehearsing?" Buffy tried again, a hopeful smile plastered on her face.

Spike was glad he was still chewing on the pizza, so Buffy didn't realise that he hesitated longer than neccessary. He didn't know what to say. He could say yes. He still knew the play almost by heart since he loved doing it. But that would mean that they would have to hang around even more than they did now and he almost couldn't bear the time they spend with each other due to Buffy's probation. And he could say no. His arguments for that were a little rare. Actually, he couldn't say no. She would ask why and he would have no answer to that. He couldn't say that he couldn't stand people being that close to him and after what happened yesterday they were closer than he ever wanted them to be. She wouldn't understand that and he couldn't explain. He could lie to her but had always been a bad liar and she would know the second he spoke the words.

"I could do that." he said automatically, his subconscious betraying him.

"Great." Buffy said cheerfully. "Thanks."

"You're welcome." he replied, chewing.

They ate in silence for a while until Spike finally spoke again and Buffy jumped.

"You want something to drink?" he pulled back from the table and moved over into the kitchen.

"You got something fizzy?" Buffy asked back.

"I should." he opened the refrigerator door and peered inside, spotting a bottle of coke. "Coke's okay with you?"

"Sure."

He took it out along with a bottle of beer and a glass from one of the cabinets. Well, as far as you could call it a glass since it was plastic.

"You didn't say you got alcohol?" Buffy gave him a mocking pout.

"I can get you one." he said and placed the two bottles on the table.

"No, I'm just kidding. I'm not twenty-one yet plus me and alcohol... no way." she shook her head frantically.

"Well then..." Spike poured her a glass of coke and opened his beer, taking a cautious sip.

"So… you did some theatre in school?" Buffy asked carefully, getting back to a topic she thought wasn't too dangerous.

"Yeah, that was basically the only thing I could do." he replied with an indifferent shrug.

"Meaning?" Buffy frowned quizzically.

"Meaning... that I was a horribly bad student with no interest in nothing. So I focussed on the art stuff. And since Shakespear is the British equivalent of Elvis that's what we did." he shrugged again.

"Yeah." Buffy nodded, unsure what to say next. "But... with your writing.. couldn't that give you a little credit?"

"Nobody knew that I was writing and I wasn't doing much back then. I didn't want to spoil the image."

"What image?" she asked, taking a sip from her coke, the fizzy liquid prickling against her nose.

Spike put the bottle down on the table and plucked one of mushrooms from his pizza. He thought about how to put it best before answering.

"I was… more of an outcast back then. My parents died… in a car accident." The mushroom couldn't cover the bad taste of memory but he kept going. "So I grew up at my aunt's house with my cousin. They were all pretty uptight, you know? Following the rules, watching their manners and so on." He twisted his mouth in distaste. "Wasn't my style. Was kind of a protest thing. Plus I got into punk those days which they didn't like at all. Most of the time I was alone, even in school. Everybody thought I was nuts. So… if I had told anybody that I was writing poetry…" His words trailed off and he looked at Buffy with a quirk of his eyebrow.

Buffy nodded. "I see. And I understand that. I mean… there's no difference over here. Except that it's all about who is dating who and who wear's the most expensive clothes. I mean... look at me... we're so shallow." She smiled, trying to cheer him up a little.

His story had sounded so horribly sad. Again. He lost his parents in a car accident, too, must be in the family. And even then, he had been alone. How could anybody stand being alone most of the time?

"I don't think you're shallow." he said with an honest expression on his face. "I think you're smarter than most people I met."

Buffy didn't know what to say. She stared at him for a couple of seconds, trying to shift gears in her head. "Thanks." she said with a dull voice, her own tone startled her. "See, I can't even take a compliment." she tried to cover her confusion about his statement. He thought she was smart? Hm... that was something she hadn't expected to hear from his mouth after all the stuff that happened. "Plus, I shouldn't be driving a car." she added after a second's hesitation.

"Maybe you should think about that, yeah." A smile spread on Spike's face. After telling her about his past - even if it was just a fragment of it - he had thought that this might take a totally different turn. But it turned out fine. Yeah, they were getting along. And it felt good. "By the way... the judge mentioned another incident involving you and a car. What was that about?"

Buffy blushed and lowered her head for a moment. "That was about two years ago. My mom was gone and didn't know where she went. So I took Willow and our car and drove around town to look for her. I wasn't really... I didn't know how to drive actually, with the hand break and all that. And at one of the intersections... I had an accident. I wasn't looking at the traffic light cause I was so busy shifting gears and stuff. So a car crashed into me." Buffy shrugged when she finished.

"Anybody injured?"

"No, just a few scraped and bruises but nothing serious. So I got a reference in my file, that's what the judge mentioned. But it never went to court or anything. The driver of the other car was drunk so we agreed to pay each other's repairs."

"And did you find your mum?" Spike asked, taking the last slice of pizza from the box.

"Yeah." Buffy shook with disgust and her already pink cheeks turned crimson. "I found her... at the Bronze... making out with Giles." she almost spat the words and drank a hasty gulp of coke to wash away the bad taste.

"That guy from the gift shop?"

"One in the same. They thought they could hit up on the good old times and smoked some stuff. I really don't want to know what. And when I found them they were all smooching and making moon eyes."

"What did your dad say to that? Guess he was royally pissed."

Buffy's head sank and she looked down at her empty plate for a moment. "Guess he wasn't." she said quietly. "They got divorced almost six year's ago."

"I'm sorry." Spike replied simply, trying to look Buffy in the face but the blonde kept her head down.

"Don't be." After a second's hesitation she looked up at him. "It's not that bad. I mean... he cheated on her and wasn't really there so there wasn't a big change when they got divorced. And now he's off to France or whatever country with his secretary." A wry smile touched Buffy's lips and she tried to shrug casually but failed. It was still hard to talk about it. When she did she felt the loss again that had paralysed her in the first weeks after her dad moved out.

The following silence was weighing heavy on both of them. Neither knew what to say. That topic was over and done with and there wasn't much they could talk about. Buffy stared down at her hands. She hadn't meant to go that much into her personal stuff but it was only fair. He had told her about his past, so she had to share, too.

Spike looked at her out of the corner of his eyes as he took another sip from his beer. Too much time had passed since he'd talked to someone like that. It was just everyday stuff, a little personal note here and there and that was about it but it felt good. Really good. Although the silence became thicker and more unpleasant with every passing second it wasn't too awkward. Talking to Buffy felt nice and almost comfortable. What did this girl do to him? Why was he opening up to her like that?

"Can I ask you something?" Buffy asked suddenly and Spike flinch in surprise.

"What?"

"My... ehm... my birthday is next Saturday and I'm having a little party over at my house. Nothing big, just my mother and my sister and some friends. And I was... wondering… if..." her words trailed off. She couldn't continue, she didn't even know why she wanted to ask it in the first place. She had sworn to herself that she would never ever invite him and now she was right in the middle of it.

"You want me to come?" he raised an eyebrow at her in disbelieve. What was that about now? He didn't understand a thing. Okay, so they were getting along but he had never expected to be named in one sentence with her family and friends. Maybe it was just politeness but the fact itself was surprising enough.

"Yeah... if you'd like. Plus... my sister wants to talk to you about your poems. Think she's a fan." Buffy was glad she could squeeze Dawn in this conversation. That would make it more into politeness than an honest invitation. She could always blame it on her if things went wrong.

"You got a porch?" Spike asked and Buffy looked at him, totally oblivious to what he was talking about.

As an answer he spread his hand in a 'look at me'-fashion and eyed her questioningly.

"Oh... yeah. I always forget that. Yeah, we do."

"So that might be a little complicated. And since I don't assume you're making a barbecue in your backyard…"

Buffy nodded. He was right and she was probably the most stupid girl on the planet. He couldn't get into her house. There were three steps in the front and four in the back. Why hadn't she thought about it in the first place? And who said that she was smart?

"Sorry to disappoint. But thanks for the invite." he said when Buffy didn't reply.

"You're welcome." Buffy smiled thinly.

On the one hand she was glad that he couldn't come. That would be too... what? It would be weird to have him in her house. He was her probation-task, that was what she had told Dawn when she had brought up the idea in the first place. They were far from being friends, they were just getting along a whole lot better than a couple of days before but that wasn't a reason to invite him to her birthday.

But on the other hand she was a little bit sad. This evening was going great, she hadn't tapped into any hidden secret memories. They were just talking like people who did like each other. It would've been nice.

Confused by her own thoughts Buffy shook her head. "I think... I should go. It's late and I have some studying to do." She rose and slipped into her jacket a little too hasty.

"Yeah. I don't want to keep you from anything."

"I'll swing by tomorrow then? I promise I won't be that late."

"No problem. I'm always here, so…"

"Alright." Buffy went to the hall and turned around again. "Goodnight."

"Buffy?" Spike called after her when she already opened the door.

"Hm?"

"Thanks... for the evening." he said quietly, not able to look her in the eyes. But he just had to say it before she went away again. He really enjoyed it and she should know it.

"You're welcome." He could hear the smile in her voice but he didn't raise his head before he heard the front door clicking shut.

Buffy stood on the sidewalk in front of the house and looked up at the apartment. The windows facing the street were dark but she knew it was up there.

What happened tonight?

They had talked over a pizza, talked about their pasts, their families and it hadn't ended in pain and tears. Since Buffy had read the article and the poem she understood a little bit more about what he was up to, about the way he reacted, even she knew it was just a fragment of what caused all the pain she'd seen in his eyes the other day at the Espresso Pump. There was more behind that but it wasn't her task to ask, it wasn't her business.

But as things went tonight she thought that her probation wouldn't be as bad as she had thought in the first place.

part 11 Feeback
back