Spinning the Wheel 12 - Happy Birthday

Buffy was happy. Simple as that.
The whole day she was jumping for joy. It was her birthday, she was turning twenty-one and now her life began. She could go into clubs beside the Bronze, she could drink, she was officially grown-up. Could one be even more happy?

Thank god it was a Saturday.
So she could sleep a little longer than usual and didn't have to worry about college or any other assignments. Her mother had made her a breakfast from heaven including cereals and pancakes with a variety of syrups.
Afterwards she'd taken a really long shower while Dawn and her mother had made the last grocery shopping for the party tonight.

Well, party wasn't the right word. She just invited some friends over. Willow and Tara, Xander and Anya, Giles for the joy of her mother and since those friends were human beings who needed to eat, Joyce had declared it her job to prepare the dinner.

Willow and Tara had arrived first. The redhead had hugged her best friend half to death while Tara had given her the lighter version but an equally cheerful smile.
Giles had made his entrance in an all to British fashion.
Although it was obvious that he liked the blonde and the blonde's mother much more, he didn't really know how to handle the situation. His good manners fought an open fight on his face as he decided weather to hug Buffy or just shake her hand.

Buffy had made the decision for him when the situation started to get comical and she pulled him into a hug.

As expected Anya and Xander were the last to come and they did with one of there not so private conversation, discussing if it was appropriate to go earlier to have lot more sex at home. Buffy smiled kindly at that and secretly rolled her eyes when Anya have her a strong, brisk hand shake, good friends be damned. But Xander - the nice and cuddly guy that he was - made up for it and hugged his friend tightly.

Now they were all in the living-room. Joyce had brought up a heaven of a dinner including all of Buffy's favourites. The presents had been unwrapped with greedy fingers. Despite her age, when it came to presents Buffy was still the little kid. But nobody really cared about it. There was a self-made picture frame by Dawn, decorated with sea shells, a bright sunshiny summer dress from Willow and Tara. She had been really surprise about that. When they had been shopping a couple of weeks ago she had seen it in a shop and had mused over it for some time but then decided that she didn't have the money to afford it. And from Xander and Anya was a small bright blue lava lamp that bubbled happily on the coffee table.
Giles had given her an envelope with a gift card of his own shop. He didn't know what she liked, so she should decide on her own. It was simple but since Buffy loved the little shop she was more than grateful.

When the cake was out on the table, the phone rang. Buffy leapt to her feet, almost dropping her fork and picked up the receiver.

"Hello?" she chirped happily.

"Would you mind coming out on the porch?" a voice answered that Buffy didn't recognise.

"Who's there?" she asked a little confused and her mother was looking at her with a concerned frown. There were enough weirdos out there and you could never knew who got your number.

"It's me."

Aha, now I know, Buffy thought sarcastically and rolled her eyes at that. "Who's me?"

There was a sigh on the other end and a moment of silence. "Spike."

Buffy could've slapped her forehead. "Oh hi. I didn't recognise your voice. What do you want?"

Another sigh. "You to come out on the porch. I can't come in and I don't fancy throwing stones at your window."

"Yeah, right. I'm there in a sec." She replaced the receiver and headed for the door.

"Who was that?" Joyce asked.

"Spike. He's out there and wants me to come out." At her words Xander leapt up from the couch and turned towards the window. "Xand, if I see you poking your nose through the curtains, I'll burn the house down from where I stand." she threatened and pointed her index finger at her friend.

With that, she opened the front door and closed it behind her.

Spike sat there a couple of feet from the porch and slipped the cell phone into the pocket of his worn leather jacket.
Underneath he wore and dark blue shirt that matched his eyes and made them sparkle a little.

"Hey." Buffy smiled brightly and went down the steps.

"Hi." Spike avoided her gaze but glanced up at her from under hooded eyes. It was such a stupid idea to come here. What was he aiming at with this?

"Thought you didn't want to come."

"I said I couldn't. Not that I wouldn't." A smirk crept on his lips and he tried to cover the hint of nervousness.

There was a moment of silence as Buffy watched him.
He looked good today, with the blue shirt and the lopsided smiled. It seemed at if he wasn't as depressed and brooding as usual.

"It's nice to have you here." Again, she beamed at him.

"I... ehm.. I have something for you." He lowered his head again, hiding the slight blush in his cheeks.

Buffy's eyes widened. She didn't even expect him to come here and now he had a present? Was this Bizarro World and had everything gone wonky?

"It's not much but..." he produced the small package from underneath his jacket and twisted and turned it in his hands, his nervousness now all too visible. He took a deep breath to steady himself. Why was he so god damn nervous? "I just thought... and if you don't like it... you can take it back... it's… here." He thrust his hand forward to her.

Buffy flinched back in a slight shock but then she took the package from his hand. She shot him a last, surprised glance before she undid the red ribbon and opened the lid.

Her eyes widened even more as they fell upon a thin silver necklace with a silver pendant in the form of a rose petal. Her fingers traced the smooth material.

"God, Spike… that's…" her words trailed off for a second. "That wasn't necessary, really. I can't take this."

"As I said... you can still take it back... if... if you don't like it." His blush became a little deeper. What the hell was wrong with him? He never reacted in such a way, why now? It wasn't as if he was out on a date. "I didn't know what you like so… I just picked something. But if you want something different… "

"I love it." Buffy cut off his nervous rambling and looked him right in the face, trying to reassure him.

Spike looked at her in surprise. Their eyes met for a second and his fear vanished.

"Really?" he asked, his voice shaking a little.

"Yeah, it's beautiful." She looked down at the necklace and then back up at him. "Thank you."

Buffy made a step forward, leaned down and gave him a quick peck on the cheek. When she straightened again, Spike looked at her totally startled. He had to swallow hard before he could talk again.

"You're welcome." His voice was shaking even more. What did she do to him just now? What was that supposed to be?

Buffy sat down on the front steps and took the necklace from the box, letting it dangle from her fingers. She fastened it around her neck and looked expectantly up at Spike.

"You look... " he hesitated for a moment." You look beautiful." was all he could manage and for an endless second he drank in the sight of her. The knee-long black skirt with the uneven lacy hem and the crisp white blouse, her long blond curls fell loosely around her shoulders. And now with the necklace trailing down into her cleavage she looked just…

Spike blinked. Where did these thoughts come from? He wasn't supposed to think like that, was he?

"Spike?" Buffy asked, waving a hand in front of his eyes. It felt pretty awkward to have him looking at her that way.

"Huh?" he snapped out of his thoughts and focused on her again.

"I said that must have cost a fortune."

"I have to work harder on my short stories for the next couple of month but... I can handle it." he tried to cover the rush of nervousness and insecurity with a wry smile. This situation got a little out of hand.

"Great. I mean... I don't want you to spend so much money on the person who kinda brought you here." Buffy lowered her head a little embarressed and slid her fingers over the necklace again.

"Beg pardon? I can't quite follow you. It's your birthday, right? That's why I'm here." Spike replied a little confused.

"No, I mean... you wouldn't be here if..." she hesitated, then looked back up. "Have I ever apologised… for the accident?"
She didn't know why she was bringing it up just now. Maybe she was feeling a little guilty. He had bought her this apparently pretty expensive gift only because she was too stupid to keep her eyes on the street while she was driving.

"No, but... you don't need to. It's okay." Now it was his turn to assure her.

"No, it's not. I should have done that days ago." she locked her eyes with his. Again, she was startled by their intensity. Despite Spike's usual depressed appearance they seemed to have a life on their own. They were like a mirror to something deeper, something hidden that she couldn't quite fathom. "I'm really sorry."

A slow smile crept on his lips, lighting up his face a little. "It's okay. All forgotten. Plus... it was kinda my fault, too. I should have watched out a little more."

They sat their in silence for a while, facing each other. It was nice just to sit there without an uncomfortable tension between them. It was as if saying sorry had undid a knot they didn't know was there. It was just a polite gesture but it had released some pressure nonetheless.

But suddenly, a sad shadow clouded Spike's features and he broke the eye contact.

"I... ehm.. I have filled out this form for you." he reached inside his jacket, took out a folded piece of paper and handed it to her.

Buffy looked at it with a frown.

"I added up the time and ended up with twenty-two hours and more or less twenty minutes. So I guess... your probation is done." Although he tried to hide it, a hint of disappointment was still visible on his face.

"Seems like, yeah. I didn't realise that our time was up." She folded the paper and again, tapping it against her fingers a little nervously.

Yeah, she was disappointed. She couldn't hide it either.
It wasn't that they were the best friends the world had ever seen but their relationship had been better the last week, they were getting along well. For the last two weeks they had seen each other almost every days and although it had just been some hours Buffy would miss this routine.

Spike didn't know what to say.
Well, he did in fact but he didn't know how to get started. The question was itching on his tongue but he just couldn't say the words. He would make a total fool out of himself. He would humiliate himself in front of her and in front of that guy peeking through the window. It wasn't something he actually liked to ask but he knew that if he didn't he would feel even more miserable.

"Buffy?"

"Hmm?" the blonde snapped out of her thoughts during which she'd tapped the paper repeatedly against her fingers.

"Can... can I ask you something?" God… this was so damn hard… simple words all together but so hard to bring out that it almost hurt.

"Sure." Buffy looked at him expectantly but nothing came. She saw that something was nagging at him. He wanted to get something out but he somehow didn't dare to.

"I... I know that... your probation is over now but... I was... going to ask you if…" He broke off. He just couldn't do it.

Almost a minute passed in silence. This was like pulling teeth, Buffy thought. She had to do something against it, to get him going so he spat out what was on his mind but she didn't want to be too pushy.
After another minute she said "Spike? What's up? If you want to ask something, go ahead. I don't have any dark pasts or secret identities." Yeah, right, Buffy. That's gonna make him talk like a waterfall. You have a way with people... you really do.

"I know." he said abruptly, still avoiding her face. If he wasn't going to asking ask her now, he'd never would do it. "I... I was going to..." he paused again, re-collecting his thoughts. "I told you that... I don't have much company. None, to be exact. But... when you.. were around... it was nice to... just to talk to someone." God, he was such a stammering idiot. It was shame. "It felt good to... have someone around again. So I... was going to ask you... if you would… only if you like... if you would come around again?"
Slowly, oh so slowly he raised his head to look into Buffy's slightly surprised face.

Fear.
When Buffy's eyes met his when he looked up at her all she saw was fear and that startled her more than anything.
He was afraid asking her if she would come over again although she didn't need to anymore.
He was afraid that she might reject him.
And suddenly she truly understood his words. That he wanted her company, wanted her to be there, wanted to talk to her. He didn't want to be alone anymore after he had tasted the pleasures of having somebody around. And now he was afraid that she might say no and leave him alone again, leave him dwelling in the shadows of loneliness.

She remembered the first day she'd been in his apartment, the drawn curtains, the darkness. That was only two weeks ago but he had changed, even in that short period of time. He was still a depressed wreck, that was for sure, but there were small changes all around.
He talked and smiled more often, everything seemed a littler lighter around him as if he had started glowing from a little light bulb deep within. It was still dim but it was on.
And if she would say no now… it would be dark again. She'd be the one to turn that light off.

Spike gave a sound somewhere between a sigh and a snort and shook his head in defeat. "God, I'm so stupid. I shouldn't have ask asked that. I'm sorry. I should've known. I'm such an idiot."

"No." Buffy blurted, holding out her hand to stop him from moving away. There was another moment of silence until she spoke again. "I don't have time on Monday. Tuesday's okay with you?"
She beamed at him. She didn't want to give the impression that she would reject him, she was just too confused for a moment to answer.

Hope flashed up in his eyes as if somebody had switched on the spotlights in a football stadium and a smile crept on his lips, making his eyes sparkle a little more. "Thank you."

He tried hard not to give away the whole amount of relieve he felt in that second. He had already given up all hope the moment he has (had) asked her and now that she did say yes… he couldn't remember being that happy for a long time. But he didn't want to make a fool out of himself by showing her what it really meant to him.

Instead, he reached into the pocket of his pants, drawing out something silver, Buffy couldn't see it clearly at first as he held it out for her.

"Here. So you don't have to ring. I should be home then."

It was a key. A key to his apartment dangling from the small silver key-chain in the form of an electrical guitar she'd seen earlier when she'd forgotten to put his keys back.

Hesitantly she took the key from his hands, her fingers lingering a moment too long on his until he practically jerked his hand away.

"Thanks." she said with a little blush in her cheeks. She couldn't deny the tiny tingling feeling that ran along her skin when they'd touched.

"I... ehm... I should go now. You have party going on in there and I don't want to keep you away."

"No, it's okay. We're almost through the program anyway…" Buffy tried to assure him.

"No... I... it's okay. I'm not the party guy, so..." he nodded, confirming his own words. Although it was true there was a little pang of ... of what? Jealousy maybe. Again, he was left alone outside, he couldn't come inside. Yes, he hated being stared at but being left alone here wasn't much better either.

"Okay, your choice." Buffy shrugged a little disappointed. It would've been nice to have him at her house although it would cause many questions and uneasy looks.

"See you on Tuesday then?"

"I'll swing by." Buffy stood and went up the stair to the front door.

"So long." Spike turned around and made his way to the sidewalk, but turned around again. "Happy birthday. And say hi to the whelp who's peeking through that window" He shot her a lopsided grin and finally left the property.

Buffy watched him go, a smile on her own face.
This birthday was taking a turn she hadn't expected. Spike showing up and giving her such a beautiful present, the whole conversation. That look on his face and when he'd given her the key.
He must have made it for her, expecting that she would accept and remain visiting him. God, what if she'd said no?

But there was more to the key. It wasn't only so that she didn't need to ring every time. She didn't even know if he was aware of that but it meant something more.
He was letting her in. Well, in his apartment for one thing but also in a metaphorical sense. He was letting her into his life to some degree and that meant more to Buffy than she had given away.

With a sigh, she let herself into the house again. She was really up for some cake now and she had to kill Xander.