Usual Disclaimers Apply.  Konami own Suikoden 2 and all it's respective characters, places and names.

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Chapter 55

The Emotional Toll

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It had been a rather restless night for various members of the Orange Army team that were currently in Two River City.  In fact, only Avara seemed to be able to get any solid amount of rest, despite his earlier grumbling that the mattress was too hard.  The others, however, all had too many thoughts in their heads to get much sleep.  Most of the party was concerned about Elaine's sudden change of character.  The same could not necessarily be said for Chris, who was still upset that he had yet to be paid for being Fitcher's makeshift tour guide.  Then there was his newfound worst enemy, and for once it wasn't a member of Highland, but rather one of the Orange Army members…'If I have to travel with Avara for much longer, I'm going to end up going insane!  Of all the stuck up, arrogant, conceited, bigheaded, self-centered, egotistical bastards I had to get stuck with, why did it have to be him?'

~.~

Of those more concerned with matters closer to the heart, but then I suppose money would be considered a matter of the heart for Chris, but that's not the issue here… Andrew in particular didn't really want to sleep, in case he had another nightmare involving Elaine killing him without a trace of emotion on her face.  It was hard for the young rogue to think that she didn't care about him anymore, but surely there was still a part of her that still cared.  It was just being suppressed somehow. It had to be something beyond her control, but Andrew couldn't think of many things that could control Elaine...apart from maybe that mysterious Rune of hers… 

'Could it be blocking out her emotions somehow?  I knew I didn't like that rune when she used it in Kuskus, it obviously drains Elaine of much more than just her physical energy.  Yet she used it to protect me...and now it might be the thing that breaks us apart.  If I can't release her emotions, and by that I'm wishing for something other than anger, then I hope Riou can…for her sake, his sake and mine,' Andrew thought sadly to himself, remembering the events that led to him and Elaine joining the Orange Army in the first place.  His time at the White Deer Inn seemed like so long ago now, there had been much hardship since then.  And the hardships didn't seem to be waning as time went on either...Andrew gripped the hilt of the Star Dragon Sword, he needed to vent some frustration soon before he unleashed it on one of his friends…or even worse, on Elaine herself.

~.~

Riou lay awake in his bed, seemingly unable to get to sleep either.  It was obvious that Riou cared about Elaine, despite still knowing that she was originally sent to kill him.  And after hearing the news that she was going to go back to her old ways, Riou wondered if that meant she'd be sent to kill him again.  If Andrew's fears were to be believed, Riou felt that if that happened again Elaine would most definitely finish the job.  Looking back, it was only because of Kahri and Millie's timely intervention that made sure there was still a job to finish, coupled with Nanami's over protectiveness for her brother, and Jowy…he almost killed her there and then.  He would have too, if Riou hadn't stopped him. 

'I wasn't there to stop him killing Lady Anabelle though...I still wonder why you did it Jowy...'

It was hard to believe that Elaine would simply revert to her previous self after experiencing the pure joy of emotions, which was why he was so sure he had to speak to her first thing in the morning.  Like it or not, Riou had to learn the truth.  And he could only get the full story from Elaine herself… He was also worried about Andrew… being with Elaine was one of the few reasons Andrew remained with the Orange Army.  If she did leave, would Andrew's departure be far behind?  He did have a business partner out there somewhere to find, and Andrew wouldn't want to stay with a broken heart.  The loss of one friend and companion was hard enough to think about, thinking there might be two people leaving instead of one was even worse.  He'd already lost Jowy…and that was impossible to deal with as it was.  'I have to sort this out...I can't let Elaine throw everything away like this, not a chance of happiness with Andrew, not for a life of solitude when there are so many people who care about her, not for something which would only bring needless pain to us all.   There's been too much suffering...'

~.~

The fact that Riou was so worried about Elaine was in turn worrying Nanami.  Nanami had doubts about Elaine, she did try to kill Riou after all, but it was obvious that Riou cared about the assassin-turned-good-but-possibly-about-to-turn-bad-again-though.  The timing couldn't have been worse either, Riou had to put on a strong appearance for the leader of Two River City if they were to gain the city's aid in the war against Highland.  So far, everything was going okay, but if Riou was preoccupied with this situation with Elaine then he might start making errors that a leader just cannot afford to make.  Nanami didn't want to think about Shu's potential reaction if the alliance with Two River failed because of Riou's emotional state.  Even worse, there was nobody available for Nanami to talk to about this.  Millie was sleeping soundly in the opposite bed, Bonaparte clutched tightly to her chest, and it was pointless talking about affairs of the heart with the boys.  Andrew was a definite no-no, Chris was way too immature and Avara...well, is Avara.  Maybe in the morning she could talk about it with Millie, but at the moment she would just have to wait and just hope Riou wasn't in as bad a state as Nanami worried that he was.

~.~

Morning inevitably rolled around once more, and everybody awoke as the sunlight poured in through the windows.  Chris tried to ignore the bright light by burying his face into the pillow, but it was no good trying to resist.  Besides, his roommate for the night was being uncharacteristically noisy as he moved around.  Chris opened an eye as he heard Andrew bump into the bedside table and blurrily saw that he very nearly knocked an expensive looking vase to the floor.  And while Chris had admittedly not known Andrew for very long, he had the impression that Andrew was not, in fact, a bungling oaf.  Bungling oafs certainly didn't carry around swords like Andrew did, since they'd be more likely to hurt themselves rather than their opponents.  Andrew bent down to pick up his sword, still concealed in it's scabbard...and then he accidentally let it slip from his fingers.  Chris thought he heard the sword actually say "ouch" as it clattered to the floor, but chose to dismiss that since he had just woken up and had obviously not come to his full senses yet.  'Talking swords, yeah right.'  With a somewhat concerted effort, Chris sat up on the bed, looking at the rather flustered looking Andrew.  Andrew in turn looked thoroughly embarrassed at being caught in such a state, and muttered something that sounded like an apology.  Chris wondered why Andrew was apologizing, but then Chris didn't know that Andrew was actually apologizing to his sword…the legendary Star Dragon Sword.  Andrew picked the sword up again, and this time managed to successfully hold onto it.

"I know getting your heart broken is tough, but I didn't know it made people clumsy too." Chris joked half-heartedly, realizing that humour would probably not solve this situation.

"I'm just not a morning person, okay?" Andrew replied gruffly, not even bothering to look at Chris, "Let's go downstairs...wait for everyone else.  I'd like to get out of this city as soon as possible."

Chris could only watch on as Andrew stormed out of the room, slamming the door behind him.  He rubbed the back of his head in confusion, looking at the door as if it would provide all the answers.  With a shrug, Chris got out of bed and retrieved his staff.  'Guess I'd want to get the hell away from anywhere I got my heart stomped on too.'  Chris sighed, knowing that there wasn't much he could do to help with Andrew's problem.  And since it wasn't really his business anyway, it was obviously best that he didn't get involved.

Chris moved to leave the room, but stopped in his tracks as the door swung open, missing his nose by mere inches.  Chris smiled as he realized that it was Millie who was responsible for nearly sideswiping his nose, "Ah, Millie.  What can I do for you?"

"Wow, you're actually awake," Millie giggled, "I was afraid I'd have to get Bonaparte to wake you up."

Chris could think of nothing more horrifying than being woke up by a groundhog that could swallow him whole, and began to silently thank the bright sunlight and Andrew's noisemaking for getting him up when they did.  Bonaparte looked at Chris inquisitively, not sure what to make of him.  Chris was silently amazed that Bonaparte seemed content to be held in Millie's arms for once, although he had to mentally chastise himself for being jealous that it wasn't him being held in Millie's arms, "As sad as I am that I'm missing out on that, you didn't answer my question."

"Oh, well breakfast is being served downstairs," Millie bobbed her head in the direction of the stairs, causing her hat to slip to the side.  She continued as she tried to fix it, holding on to Bonaparte with her free hand, "I figure we could use something nice to eat after all the bad stuff that happened yesterday."

"Breakfast sounds great," Chris smiled, happy that this day was starting off a lot better than yesterday did, "Although we'd better sit away from Andrew."

"Yeah, this whole thing with Elaine has left him grumpier than usual," Millie finished fixing her hat and smiled, "I'd be surprised if there was anyone still asleep after the way he slammed the door there.  Anyway, breakfast for three.  Bonaparte's hungry too, aren't you?"

Millie innocently took Chris' hand and led him back downstairs, trying hard not to feel embarrassed about being led anywhere.  He sighed to himself, realizing that he had enough problems of his own in the love department without getting involved with anybody's else's problems as well.  And it certainly didn't hurt to believe that Millie's innocent hand holding wasn't quite as innocent as it was perceived to be…

~.~

Nanami walked silently towards the room Riou slept in last night, eager to find out how her brother was faring after the revelations of the previous evening.  'Hopefully a good night's sleep will have calmed him down,' she thought as she walked.  It was still relatively early, so Nanami expected Riou to still be asleep.  She stopped outside the door, wondering whether she should just walk in or not.  In the end, Nanami decided it would be best if she knocked first.  If Riou hadn't been sharing the room with Avara, she would have just barged in.  But even Nanami knew better than to just charge into any room Avara was in.

But since this is still Nanami we're dealing with, so something had to be overly loud and annoying about it.  But in as good a way as possible.

She knocked on the door a few times, each knock progressively louder than the last.  By the final knock, it was highly unlikely that anybody in the inn would be asleep, let alone Riou and Avara in their room.  Nanami waited a few seconds, tapping her feet impatiently as if she had waited minutes rather than seconds.  She was about to knock again when the door opened slightly, and she was rather disappointed to be facing Avara rather than Riou.  Nanami tried to peek behind the mage, getting up on her tip-toes to try and see behind him.  Nanami frowned as she couldn't seem to see Riou in the room at all. 

Meanwhile Avara was already growing impatient at Nanami for totally ignoring him, despite being nice enough to open the door for her.  When it seemed that Nanami was done peering into the room behind him (which Avara knew full well was empty but had neglected to say so out of his pure dislike for the girl), he put on his most contemptuous look and asked her, "Can I help you?"

Nanami's attention finally rested on Avara, "Is Riou in there?"

"No," Avara replied simply, and began to close the door again, only for Nanami to shove the door wide open to reveal the empty bedroom behind him.

"Do you know where he is?" Nanami asked, becoming slightly more worried than she was previously.

"No," Avara repeated, and moved to close the door once again, and once again Nanami stopped him from doing so, this time by bodily rushing into the room.  She then proceeded to look for Riou under the beds.  Had it been anyone else that was there, they probably would have chuckled at the pointlessness of Nanami's search.  But since the person in question was Avara, he merely sighed with boredom and waited for Nanami to realize that he was actually telling her the truth.  'This is bordering on obsession...what an absolutely strange girl.'

"How can you not know where he is!?" Nanami cried out, sitting down on the bed which Riou had slept in the previous evening, "What's going on here?!"

"Lord Riou was awake and long gone before I woke up," Avara stated simply, his tone completely devoid of any emotion at this point, "Now if you don't mind, close the door behind you on the way out."

With a small pout, Nanami stood up and walked silently out of the room, closing the door behind her to sate Avara.  She was no closer to finding out if Riou was any better, and it seemed that she wouldn't be finding that out until after he had talked to Elaine.  It was the only logical place Riou could be at that moment, and ironically enough that was also the only place Nanami didn't dare intrude on in the entire city of Two River.  Sure, Avara might have blown her to bits with a lightning bolt had she gone too far, but Elaine was probably more of a threat to her safety than any spell could be at that given time.  With no other options, Nanami sadly walked downstairs to get some breakfast.  It probably wasn't any more cheerful down there than it was upstairs, but at least there would be people there who wouldn't kill her for just talking to them...

'At least I hope not...'

~.~

Riou boldly strode towards Elaine's designated room, which he sadly noted was the furthest away from Andrew's without moving to another level of the inn.  It seemed that the only thing Elaine currently wanted was to be as far away from the young rogue as possible.  Riou was quite naturally puzzled by this, since they seemed so close only a matter of days ago back at Genkaku Castle.  But then the last time Riou had seen Elaine before departing from the Castle, she was lying unconscious in one of the rooms designated to Doctor Huan's makeshift hospital.  'The same could be said for Andrew too,' Riou thought to himself, trying to figure it out in his head before he faced Elaine, 'So whatever happened to Elaine...it happened on her way here.  Did she travel here alone? No, she probably came with the group that was taking Joseph to Lakewest...she must have split up with them there.  Whatever could have happened between Lakewest and Two River?  Found unconscious in the woods...she definitely hadn't been in a fight with the wandering creatures, there were no bruises, no cuts...her clothes were still spotless, she even looked clean.'

'Could something have attacked her mind?'

Riou paused in thought at that point, it did seem to be the most plausible explanation.  Lying unconscious in the woods with no battle scars?  It could have been exhaustion, but Elaine was in such good condition health wise that is seemed very unlikely.  Riou sighed, there was no way he could answer the questions he thought of without Elaine's input.  He had the sinking feeling that Elaine wasn't going to be in the mood for sharing either, which didn't help manners in the slightest.  Riou looked at the door to Elaine's room, preparing to knock and hoping that the response wouldn't be a flying knife aimed for his head.  He raised his hand to knock on the door...

"Come in, Riou.  I know you're out there," Riou stopped mid-knock.  Not because he was surprised that Elaine knew he was standing outside her door, but because of the tone of voice she had used.  Or, more importantly, the lack of tone of voice she had used.  Elaine's voice was completely stoic, bereft of any emotion whatsoever.  Riou just knew that this could not be a good development in any sense of the word, "I don't mind being kept waiting, but I would like to get this undeniably awkward conversation over with as soon as possible."

Riou opened the door to see Elaine sitting cross-legged on the bed.  She was staring at Riou, her face impassive.  Elaine seemed to be going back to the simple look, her plain black clothes somehow appearing even more plain than Riou remembered.  She had tied her hair back in an unremarkable, functional ponytail.  To wit, it wouldn't get in her way when she was...well, doing her thing.  Riou tried not to think about Elaine going back to that life, it was a horrifying thought.  And by the looks of things, a thought that could very easily be becoming reality in front of his very eyes.  He closed the door behind him as he stepped into the room.

"So, are you here to say how disappointed you are in me?" Elaine asked softly, in a tone designed for only herself and Riou to hear it.  The words were spoken quietly, but there was a definite hardened edge to them.  Riou remembered her speaking in such a tone when they first began travelling together after the incident at the White Deer Inn.  Elaine really was reverting back to the cold-hearted killer from before, and it was obviously quite disconcerting, "I've already heard that before in my life, and it hasn't affected me before now and it won't affect me now either.  There was nothing Andrew could have said to make me change my mind, what makes you think you can make any difference?"

"I'm not here to make you change your mind, Elaine," Riou said flatly, "I know full well there's nothing I can do or say to stop you from leaving."

"You don't seem too upset about it," Elaine was expecting a big speech from Riou, this was an admittedly surprising turn of events, "And you don't look angry either, guess you really are resigned to the fact that I'll be leaving soon."

"Well, you were able to dismiss all your emotions over us, why can't we just do the same with you?" Riou tried to match Elaine's dismissive tones, but he didn't quite have the killer edge of Elaine's soft but deadly voice, "I won't lie to you, Elaine, I am disappointed in you.  But I know what a determined person you are, and you've set your mind to this.  Nothing's going to stop you now, so I'm not going to waste my time trying."

"Good, that's really...what are you up to?  This isn't like you at…" Elaine stopped mid-sentence, looking at Riou warily.  A tiny hint of a smile came across her face as she looked at the young leader of the Orange Army, "That's your plan?  Trying to guilt trip me into staying?  Trying a little reverse psychology?  You've been hanging around Shu too long.  You can't trap me with little mind games, Riou."

"I know that," Riou said simply, "But if you are going to leave, I think you at least owe me a reason why."

Elaine slowly uncrossed her legs and shifted position on the bed so that she was now hugging her knees close to her, "I had some time to think about things on the way here...I haven't been training nearly as much as I used to do before I met you guys, and I've been getting really sloppy lately.  I would never have had to rely on my rune to handle the situation Andrew and I faced in Kuskus before.  My reaction time...my accuracy...everything has deteriorated.  The longer I stay with you, the weaker I'll become.  I've lived so long without the hindrance of emotions holding me back...and ever since meeting you, meeting Andrew..." Elaine paused and looked straight into Riou's eyes as she continued, her tone becoming slightly more harsh as she spoke, "I can't stand being so weak as to need other people to help me.  I've never needed anyone else before, and I don't need you or anybody else now.  Whenever anybody else is around, I always have to think twice before I act...I hate that."

Elaine watched as her words washed over Riou, who looked a little upset by it all.  Elaine didn't think her words were that harsh, and she was wondering what it could be when Riou spoke up, "Do you realize that your rune has been glowing the entire time you've been talking?"

"Don't be ridiculous Riou, you must be seeing..." Elaine stopped as she lifted her hand up to prove her point, and let out a small gasp of surprise when she saw that her rune was glowing, just as Riou had said it was, "…things.  Well, that's...new." 

Elaine concentrated her focus on the rune for a few moments, and it took a lot of effort on her part to make it stop glowing.  She felt the small trickle of sweat run down from her forehead, and quickly wiped it away with her other hand.  Elaine looked back at Riou, who hadn't taken his eyes off of her the entire time. 

"So that's what it is," Riou said quietly, "The rune is trying to control you, and it's winning."

"Oh, don't be stupid...it's just a tool to be used," Elaine hopped off the bed and stood perfectly still in front of Riou, "It is NOT using me or trying to control me.  It can't possibly be able to control me.  It's not like it's alive or anything."

"You can't know that for certain. For all you know, it's corrupting you as we speak," Riou made to grab Elaine's right hand, the one the rune was attached to.  Before he could even touch the hand, Elaine lashed out at Riou with her left hand, a swift chop that would've been enough to knock anybody down had it connected.  Riou, however, seemed to know this would be the outcome of his attempt to touch Elaine's rune, and easily ducked under the chop.  Riou straightened up again and looked at Elaine's shocked face, the disbelief in her actions quite apparent, "You've met Joseph, I assume?  His rune erased all of his memories and is able to control where it wants Joseph to go.  Maybe your rune can do the same thing with you.  The only difference is that Joseph is trying to fight it, but you're just running away.  He's only fifteen, but he's putting up a better fight than you are, and the Elaine I know would never be like that.  Have some time to think about that before you come downstairs.  We'll wait until you're ready to go and see Lord Makai again.  By now Nanami's probably figured that I've left my room to be here, so it won't be long before she's banging your door down.  I'll go make sure that Nanami, and everybody else, leaves you alone until you're ready.  See you downstairs."

Elaine could only watch on in silence as Riou opened the door and left her along in the room, the door closing behind him.  She replayed the previous few moments over in her head, trying to digest what had just happened.  Still with a small look of shock on her face, Elaine sat back down on the bed and looked at the rune on her right hand.  It hadn't started glowing again, which Elaine found herself momentarily grateful for.  However, Riou's words plagued her thoughts as she thought back to the incident in the forest on her way to Two River city.  Elaine let herself fall backwards onto the bed, a harsh thought entered her mind as she closed her eyes over...

'Was I arguing with myself in the forest...or was I arguing with my rune?  The rune of the Assassins...I've never really used it until Kuskus.  Have I unleashed something too powerful for me to control?'

Elaine shuddered as a harsh wave of nausea washed over her.  Her eyes snapped open again and she sat up quickly, standing up once again.  She retrieved her knife from under the pillow where she had left it the previous night and slipped it into it's hidden sheath on her outfit. 

'I guess I'll soon find out if I'm in control or not.  Either way, by the time this mission is over...I'll know what I have to do.'

Elaine took a deep breath and quickly scanned the room to make sure she hadn't left anything behind.  Once she was sure, she opened the door and made her way down the stairs to join the others. 

'Right now, the only thing that matters is finishing this mission...and that's something I do know for sure.  Maybe it's the only thing I can really be certain about right now...'