A/N – This is chapter three of 'Fall to Pieces' it's mainly Miami/Vegas with precious little HC action. Thanks to everyone who's read and reviewed so far. Please keep it up!
"Don't call me. Don't write.
Don't show up in the middle of the night.
You know that, we needed.
Some time and space to breathe in."
-Sozzi- Letting Go
Calleigh opened one eye and glanced at the old alarm clock she kept on her nightstand. It was much later in the day than she'd thought but she still couldn't muster the energy to get out of bed. The thought of hiding under her sheets, away from the world comforted her somewhat. At least she couldn't do anything too career damaging alone in her bed. Even a work free weekend couldn't rid of her of the embarrassment and dread she felt about having to face Greg.
Her cell began bleeping at her to indicate an incoming call. She wished that she could ignore it but knowing that it might be the crime lab, she pulled her hand up from under the blankets and reached around on her nightstand to grab the annoying ringing object. After what seemed like hours her fingers brushed against the hard silver plastic that covered her cell. As her fingers closed around it she could feel the vibrations from it shoot down her arm and into her body, causing her to shiver. It took a moment of concentration to convince her thumb and index finger to flip open the cell, but she managed it if just to stop the horrific noise it was making. She pressed the cold phone to her ear and cleared her throat.
"Duquesne." She answered, trying not to sound too sleepy. All at once she knew that answering the cell without checking the caller display had been a mistake, as she heard the verbal smile of her ex boss over the line. The little voice inside her head laughed at her as she remembered how she used to love that noise. Every time he made it toward her meant that she had pleased him, and she had loved making him happy.
"Calleigh, it's Horatio. How are you doing?" She paused for a moment and considered how to answer the question. Should she be honest with him and beg for her old job back? Or lie and tell him that she didn't miss him or Speed or Alexx at all? She decided quickly.
"I'm doing great thanks, I love working up here, and it's so different to Miami! How's life back there?"
"Very busy at the moment, especially since we've not hired anyone to replace you yet." His tone sounded dejected. In fact Calleigh was pretty sure that she'd never heard him sound so low. She wasn't quite sure how to answer his last comment, so she said nothing and hoped he'd continue.
"It… Uh…" He paused as if trying to decide what to say next. "It's not the same without you Calleigh." He paused again. "It's very quiet now we don't have guns going off every 10 minutes." He laughed a fake laugh and she joined in. His tone was light and playful but it didn't hide the emotions packed into his voice.
She looked up at her clock again, there was only ten minutes for her to get ready and leave for the crime lab without being late. Sighing to herself she took a deep breath and prepared to end the call. A small part of her was desperate to hang on to him and talk about anything, just so she could keep listening to his voice, but she knew deep down that she had to let go. 'That was the whole point of this move' she reminded herself 'to get away from past mistakes and start afresh. He doesn't love you in that way, and he never will. So it's best for everyone if you just cut him out of your life completely.'
"Horatio, I have to go. I'm in the middle of a case here."
"Oh of course, I'm sorry I didn't mean to interrupt you at work. Call me. Anytime." As she pressed the call end button and flipped the phone closed she couldn't help thinking how sad and lost he sounded. She rolled over onto her back and closed her eyes, reflecting over the conversation. 'You can't keep doing this to yourself' said the voice in her head, which, she noted was beginning to sound more like her mother. 'Get away from him while you still can. There's plenty of nice guys here in Vegas.'
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After running practically the whole way from her apartment to the crime lab Calleigh arrived at the safe haven of her gun vault only a few minutes later than usual. She knew that her face looked red and sweaty and she was seriously beginning to regret wearing heels to work but she felt so much happier being away from the dingy apartment.
As she moved slowly through the ballistics lab mentally checking off her work list for the day she came across an envelope left on her desk with a Miami postal code stamped on it. She looked down at it and knew immediately whose writing had precisely printed her name and her new work address onto it. She ripped open the envelope, taking care not to damage the letter inside. She pulled out a wad of papers and began to read.
The note was from Alexx, keeping her up to date on the latest happenings at the lab as well as all of the gossip that she'd missed since leaving. Calleigh smiled to herself as she read the letter, Alexx was such a good friend for keeping her up to date with all the happenings from her old life. Her smile slowly faded as she read the last paragraph of the letter.
"Honey, forgive me if this isn't my place to say but Horatio hasn't been the same since you left. I'm guessing that he's the reason you went away so quickly and you're the reason that he's changed so much since. I've never seen him so low Calleigh. From what I can tell he barely eats or sleeps, he just buries himself in his work. I honestly don't know how much longer he can keep this up without having a breakdown. If you can help him Calleigh, please do. I know how much you mean to him.
Missing you.
AlexxP.s. He asked me to include this note when I mailed the letter to you."
Calleigh extracted the envelope that Alexx had mentioned from the sheaf of paper in her hand and noted her name written on the front of it in Horatio's usual scrawl. She sighed loudly and tucked the envelope into the drawer of her desk promising herself that she would deal with it later.
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Calleigh sighed and bit her lip. It was annoying habit that she thought that she'd kicked. Her mother had told her time and time again that biting your lip was unladylike and should not be done, but whenever stress presented itself to Calleigh she found herself doing it unconsciously. She had been trying all morning to soft through the pile of ballistics reports that had built up overnight on her desk but her mind kept wandering back to the note that was tucked inside her desk drawer, waiting to be read.
Her hand slipped over to the drawer, opened it and pulled out the note. Carefully placing it on the desk in front of her she traced her index finger along the indentations on it that marked out her name. She closed her eyes and saw his face in her minds eye. He looked so very happy there, not like when she'd last seen him.
A knock on the door behind her awoke Calleigh from her memories. She turned her head to see who was disturbing her and saw Greg standing in the doorway. She sighed inwardly, tucked the letter safely back into her drawer and turned to face him.
"Hi Greg, are you here for a report?" She asked motioning at her pile of papers. He pulled at his collar and seemed very uncomfortable.
"Uh… Hey Calleigh. I just wanted to talk to you. Uh…About friday night…" Before he had time to finish his sentence Calleigh interrupted him.
"Greg, I wanted to apologise about that." She blushed. "I think I had a few too many cocktails with Sara and uh…" She trailed off and looked up at him. He was beginning to look distinctly relieved. "Well you know the rest." She paused again and decided whether to ask her next question.
"This is really embarassing but I've got to know, we didn't actually do anything… Did we?" Her blush deepend as he laughed and shook his head.
"That note on your pillow scared you, huh?" He grinned. "Sorry Calleigh but I'm saving myself for Sara." Calleigh tried her hardest to hide the shock she felt when she heard this. Not in a million years could she ever imagine Sara dating Greg. He noticed the look of confusion on her face and added: "She doesn't want me yet, but she'll realise one day. I'm just waiting for it to happen."
Calleigh couldn't help smiling at his optimism, she didn't want to rain on his parade by telling him about her experience with Horatio. She envied his innocence about unrequited love and wished that she could go back to the time where she had felt like that, instead of being trapped in a place that she just couldn't call home.
She looked up at the doorway and noticed that he had already gone, leaving her alone with her thoughts once again.
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It was late afternoon when she heard someone knock the door to the ballistics lab for the second time that day. Calleigh sighed, put down the weapon she was rebuilding and made her way out of the gun safe. She was greeted by the sight of Nick standing in the middle of the lab staring at the floor with the usual look of fury and exasperation on his face. She decided that today would be the day that she would make an effort to be nice to him, because as she kept telling herself 'everyone has bad days'.
"Hey there Nick, what can I do for you?" She smiled at him, trying to meet his stony gaze.
"Hi Calleigh." He looked slightly taken aback at her friendly approach. "Can you do a comparison between this and the bullet from the Thomas case?" He asked handing an evidence bag to her.
"No problem. I'll get on it now." She smiled at him again and was slightly shocked to note his smile in return. She turned away from him to retrieve the other bullet for comparison expecting him to leave her to it, but when she turned back to the microscope she saw he was still in the room, watching her.
"Can I help you with anything else Nick?" She asked, puzzled. He paused for a moment and wrinkled his nose in amusement.
"You're pretty when you smile Calleigh, you should do it more often." He turned to leave, stopped himself and looked back at her. "I don't suppose you'd like to try and prove me wrong about that after work tonight?" He grinned at her in the way that infuriated her, and he knew it.
"I don't know Nick. I'm trying to avoid the whole dating in the workplace thing."
"Go on, just this once." He grinned at her again, but this time she could see something else behind his eyes. Interest? Desperation? She couldn't tell, but she had to admit - if only to herself - that something about Nick Stokes intrigued her. She took a moment, just to keep him waiting and then nodded slowly.
"When and where?" Calleigh asked, looking up, meeting his gaze and grinning at him in what she hoped was the same annoying manner that he had used on her.
"It's a surprise, so I'll pick you up, about eight?"
"See you then." Calleigh turned back to the microscope and tried to focus her attention on the bullet striations in front of her. She couldn't help thinking that she was drowning out the memory of one guy with another. 'At least this one wants you' added the little voice in her head.
"But do I want him?" She replied to no one in particular.
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At exactly eight o'clock Calleigh heard her door buzz. Quickly she gathered her possessions about her. Purse? Check. Lipgloss? She strode towards the large mirror that she had hung in her hallway, stood in front of it and slicked some colour from the tube onto her lips. She smiled at her reflection, straightened her shirt and opened the door to let Nick in.
As the door opened she caught sight of Nick standing in front of it holding a bunch of flowers firmly in his grasp. She motioned him to come inside and took the flowers when he offered them to her.
"Flowers?" She asked, raising one eyebrow questioningly.
"To apologise for being such an ass when we first met."
"My, what a perfect southern gentleman." She exclaimed, playing up her accent in an attempt to annoy him. He removed an imaginary hat from his head and tipped it to her in the proper fashion, then took her hand and led her out to his SUV.
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Ten minutes later they pulled up in a parking lot on the outskirts of the city. Calleigh peered through her window of the SUV and hoped that they wouldn't be stopping there for too long, in the dimness of the street lamps she could see shadows moving all around them. Circling them.
She turned to Nick who gave her a reassuring smile. As she stepped out of the vehicle she could hear whispered voices and a dog barking. The crisp desert air swirled around her shoulders and she wished that she'd thought to bring a jacket. Nick began walking towards a small break in the line of buildings that marked one side of the parking lot. As she fell into step with him she began to wonder exactly where he was leading her.
They walked through a small alleyway in perfect sync until Nick turned left into a shabby looking building with paint peeling from its doorway. Calleigh stood outside the building for a moment considering her options; this place could be a crack den for all she knew. She decided to trust Nick's judgement and enter the dilapidated building, but not before removing her cell phone from her purse and tucking it safely into the pocket of her pants where she could reach it immediately if the situation got out of control.
As she stepped through the doorway Calleigh was greeted by the sound of laughter, a jukebox playing in the corner and waitresses skating around the place on roller skates. The walls of the building were painted in bright colours and huge spotlights hung from the ceiling. She had to stop for a moment to look around, completely awestruck.
She sat down in a booth facing Nick who ordered them both a coffee from a passing waitress.
"This place is amazing. I feel like we ought to be sharing a large milkshake and making eyes over cheeseburgers!" She exclaimed, still completely amazed at her surroundings.
"Well we can do that if you want." Nick laughed and met her gaze. Calleigh smiled softly at him and realised that she was actually having a good time.
Calleigh excused herself to go to ladies room and powder her nose. When she returned she saw a huge cheeseburger placed on the table in front of her seat and a large glass of chocolate milkshake with two straws in it sitting in the middle of the table. She raised an eyebrow at Nick quizzically and he shrugged in a noncommittal way.
"I liked the sound of making eyes at you over milkshake." He whispered.
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During the drive back to Calleigh's apartment the conversation flowed quickly. They talked about their childhoods, their families and friends. It was only when Nick asked her if she'd ever been in love that Calleigh became quiet and thoughtful. She didn't quite know how to explain her feelings for Horatio to Nick, especially as she seemed to be so busy spending her life pretending that they had never happened.
"Yes." She said simply, not wanting to elaborate and ruin whatever opinion he had of her. Horatio was her past and that is where he should stay. Nick nodded at her frank response.
"Me too." He said, and then after a moment of thought added: "But she died."
Calleigh leaned over and hugged him for a moment. When she'd let go of him, she kissed him softly on the cheek.
"Thanks for tonight Nick, I had a really great time."
"Can we do this again, soon?" He asked expectantly. Calleigh blinked and nodded.
"I'd like that."
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As she lay in bed that night, tossing and turning, Calleigh couldn't help feel that although she had everything she thought she wanted – a good career, a relationship on the horizon, the best friends anyone could ask for – something was missing…
