A/N: Thanks everyone who commented so far. I'm sorry that it took me so long to update. My RL has been pretty exhausting lately. I hope you like this chapter. Comments are very welcome :D

Spinning the Wheel 33 – Choices

Wesley Wyndham-Price was a young man in his late twenties but he had nothing of the casualty Ben had. The way he held himself as he stood in the Summers' living room reminded Buffy of Giles on the first day she'd met him. A little stuffy and with a serious lack of humour, and he had the same habit of cleaning his glasses every now and then.

The young woman came back into the room with a pot of tea and put it on the coffee table.

"Please, Mr Wyndham-Price, sit down. Make yourself at home." She gestured towards the armchair, and then poured tea for everyone.

"Thank you, Miss Summers."

"Call me Buffy, please. How do you take your tea?"

"Two sugars, no cream, please."

When Buffy was done, a strong hand closed around her waist and Spike pulled her into his lap. She cast him an irritated glance but he simply looked at her with an innocent expression. Ever since that scene with Ben and after the event in the Bronze the other week, he had developed a slight possession over her. It wasn't bothering her much, she just though it was childish.

"So, do tell. What's your deal?" Spike asked, pulling his eyebrows up in a challenging way.

"I.. uhm.. I don't know how much Ben told you."

"Not much, actually. He just gave us the keywords," Buffy said, sipping from her tea.

"Well, I hope I can do this without getting too technical. We have developed a laser that is able to mend and restore fibers within the human body, such as nerves and muscles. It reactivates a certain part of the cell and gets it to work again," Wesley went on about his method in great detail until he had to take a sip from his tea.

"It all sounds great, doc. Where's the downside?" Spike eyed him suspiciously.

Buffy had felt him tensing underneath her during Wesley's speech. He still wasn't comfortable with all this.

"There is no downside, Mr Rayne. Well, not really…"

"What?" Spike interrupted, tensing even more. His hand clenched down impatiently on Buffy's shirt.

"Look, the problem is just… No, let's start differently. All of our patients were able to move their limbs again; the muscles and nerves were perfectly rebuilt. But the wounds.. they were all fresh, if I may put it that way. Most of them were victims of accidents at work," Wesley sighed. "In your case though… from the information your file contained, there is a lot of damage. I assume that because of former surgeries, there are even.. some parts missing. If we would apply my method, it would be necessary to.. breed some artificial nerves and muscles."

The couple looked at the man in confusion. "You want to clone me?" Spike asked then.

"On a small scale, yes. What I'm talking about is that we will have to make a connection between the ends of the destroyed fibers. Therefore we would have to extract some of the existing cells and breed new ones. Those, we can insert again and apply the laser method. But the breeding process is the complicated part. We are still unsure if it is going to work."

Silence fell into the room, thick and heavy. Spike stared ahead with dull eyes, his mind reeling around the pros and cons of what Wesley had told them.

It was a chance, probably the only chance he would ever get. He just had to reach out and grasp it. It was a dream that was about to come true. But, for some reasons, he was still scared. He was scared that it would still be a dream after all, that he would be paralyzed forever. Ever since Ben had shown up on his doorstep (if he was honest with himself, Spike knew that it had started when Buffy had told him, that his nerves were rebuilding) the fear had settled in very comfortably. And he had told Buffy about it – she had forced him to – which made him even more vulnerable than he was willing to admit.

"I understand that this a lot of information to procoss, so.. if you need some time ot think about it…," Wesley said after a long time.

Buffy looked at Spike who still seemed a little out of focus and he wasn't paying attention to what the other man had said, she she answered instead: "Thank you, that would be great."

"No problem. I'll leave you my card. It has my new cell phone number and I'll write the number to my room on the back so you can call me at the hotel. I'll be here for the rest of the week. Oh.. and here's a brochure. It has the same information I gave you. Just in case you want to re-read it." He gave Buffy another business card and a glossy brochure.

"Thank you, Mr Wyndham-Price. Thank you for your visit. I'll show you out."

Just as Buffy rose, Spike snapped out of his reverie. "No, let me do that. I.. want to catch a breath of fresh air… alone." He said pointedly, moving over to the door.

The young woman looked a bit irritated for a second, but then shrugged. "Okay, I'll get that stuff back in the kitchen then."

"Thanks," Spike smiled a thin, repressed smile and held out the door for Wesley, who shook Buffy's hand with a tiny bow.

Spike pulled the front door close behind him, and then paused. "This method is really working, isn't it?" he asked.

"Yes, it it. Though I can never promise anything, especially not in such a severe case like your's. If it is does work, I think we will be able to make you walk again. You won't be able to run the New York marathin though, but you will walk."

Spike looked at the man for a long moment before he answered. "Everything is better than this." He ran his hands over the armrests.

"That's right. And.. if I may speak freely, you have a beautiful girlfriend. If you had just one reason to consider the surgery, it would be her."

Spike smiled at that, lowering his head a little. "You're right. If it wasn't for her, I would be dead by now." That last sentence came a little weak and he felt emotions rising in his throat.

Wesley just nodded, then held out a hand. "Give me call when you've made up your mind or if you have any questions."

"I will. Thank you." Spike looked at him, gratitude filling his expression.

"My pleasure. Goodbye, Mr Rayne."

Spike's shoulders sagged after Wesley was gone. He took a breath and exhaled it into the rather chilly March afternoon.

All this was way too much for him, making such a decision. He had dreamed of this, had written dozens of poems about it and now that this man had laid out the choices in front of him, he was pulling back from it.

But what could he lose if it wasn't working?

A year ago, he'd have said 'nothing' and delete jumped right into it. But now… he had a lot to lose. Now, there was Buffy. He couldn't lose her, not now that he'd found her. He hadn't believed he would find anyone who would touch him like that again. Now she was in his heart, she was part of his soul. If he would lose her… no, he couldn't think about that.

Though she had told him that she wouldn't leave him, he couldn't be sure. Well, the only way to become sure was to try it. Wesley had been right. If he had just one reason, it would be Buffy. He would do everything for her, she was the only reason that still kept him going after all.

"Hey," Buffy poked her head out of the front door. "You done breathing all by yourself?"

Spike looked at her, then smiled. "Yeah, I guess so."

"Spike?" she asked, stepping out onto the porch. "Are you okay?" She looked down on him, concern marring her face.

"Yeah, I'm fine. I just.. come here." He reached for her hand pulled her into his lap again. Stroking her hair behind her ear, he looked into her eyes. God, he loved this woman with all his heart. She was beautiful, smart, she was perfect. "Buffy, if.. if I do this, I would have delete to go to England. We would be seperated for months."

For a moment, she just looked at him. "So you're planning on going?" Confusion and surprise were mixed on her voice, and she tilted her head to one side.

"I don't know I.. I just don't know." He sighed and let his hands drop into his lap. "I want to walk again. It's a dream, you know. It's just.. god, this is so complicated."

"No, it's not." She took his hands in hers. "Look, you've got two options. Either you go, or you don't." She gave his hands a reassuring squeeze.

Buffy knew that it probably wasn't that easy for him. She couldn't read his thoughts, she could only judge from her own feelings. It was a twisted situation for both of them.

"I don't want to leave you, Buffy. I don't want to do this alone." He hesitated. "I need you." His eyes shone with a shimmer of tears.

Buffy ran a hand over his cheek, looking him in the face. "You can do it. I know you can," she said "You know that I'd come with you but I can't, I have college and I can't skip classes for so long."

"I know." He nodded sadly, looking the other way.

She turned his face back to hers, and pressed a soft kiss on his lips. He sucked in a breath against her mouth, but gave into the kiss after a second.

"I'll miss you," Spike said as he puled back for air, leaning his head against her shoulder, breathing in her sweet her scent.

"I'll miss you, too," she threaded her fingers into his, running her thumb over the back of his hand. Yeah, she would miss him, would miss their evenings together, the talks, and just being with him. But deep down, she also wanted him to walk again, and not only for his sake but also for hers. She liked him the way he was now (more than just sympathy, to be honest) but some egoistic part of her wanted him to become more of a "normal" boyfriend. She wanted to go shopping with him, or dancing in the Bronze. What that so bad?