Alright, here's the new chapter, sorry for the delays in it getting up, I had a lot on my plate recently.
Thanks for the reivews. Sorry I didn't copy down your names, but I'll get that up in the next chapter, kay?
Hope you enjoy my latest enstallment.
"So what's the big deal with you two and toast!" Joey whined as they walked into his apartment.
Rachel sighed, "Ugh, Joey, we didn't want toast!"
"Speak for yourself, Rach, I'm starved!"
"Stay on topic, Pheebs!" Rachel yelled out, "Now, we need to get Mr. and Mrs. Geller, especially Mrs. Geller, and Ross out of the apartment for the day."
"And we'd better start coming up with better excuses, cause I'm really not buying any of them," Phoebe commented.
"So what's the plan? Are we just going to show them around the city?" Joey asked, actually staying on topic for once. "Ooh! Ooh! Maybe we could take them out for breakfast, and then shop around all the different stores, you know?"
"Joey, I thought you're day was booked!"
"Starting at lunch, yes, so that means by the time breakfast is over I can pretty much come back here, you know to get ready and all that jazz,"
"You just want the free food, don't you?"
"Yeah, so? I'm a man with priorities."
"Joey, you don't get ready. You would go out in your pajamas if Chandler didn't remind you to change your clothes!" Phoebe shot back at him, "You should have to suffer as much as us!"
"Eh," he nodded in agreement, "So what's one more little white fib added to the pile? I mean, once they find out about Mon and Chan, I think my lie is gonna be pretty minor, boarding non-existent in comparison. And besides, they're probably gonna be mad at you two for helpin' them so much and all. I mean I've lied, but this is pretty extensive. Dare I say, pulling the wool over their eyes?"
"Arg! Shut up!" Rachel fumed, "All right! All right! We'll buy you breakfast, and then you can leave, but by God, if I see you sitting around here at lunch time,"
Joey raised up his hands in the air, "Woo, Rach, you can expect me as good as gone, alright? I don't wanna stick around here any longer then I have to!"
"Good. Now, the matter of waking Chandler and Monica up," Rachel looked over her shoulder sneakily, spotting an empty bucket just waiting to be filled with oodles of freezing cold water. "Anyone thinking what I'm thinking?"
Joey followed her eyes, a giant grin taking over his lips once he saw what she did. "Ho, ho, ho, I do believe that we have a little bit of an evil genius on our hands, Pheebs."
Phoebe smirked, "I think they owe us at least this, I mean we're spending the day with her parents for Christ's sake!"
"So who gets to do the honors?" Rachel looked around at the three, "I mean, we won't want the terrible threesome in there, who knows what they'll say, and we'll have to censor ourselves too, which just ruins the fun of it, y'know?"
"Not it!" Joey yelled out, "I've known longest!"
"Yeah, we're gonna have to talk about that," Rachel mumbled, giving Joey a little glare.
"Not it!" Phoebe yelled out before Rachel could finish her sentence. Joey smiled and gave Phoebe a high five.
"Not-dammit!"
"Ah, may I introduce my partner in crime," he paused, "At least while we're playing pranks on Chan and Mon, cause you know Chan is my full time one, y'know?" Phoebe nodded in agreement, "Phoebe Buffay!"
"Can't we settle this like mature adults?" Rachel asked, "You know,
"Rach, what about dumping water on Mon and Chan's head is mature?" Phoebe pointed out.
"And I say that me and Joey get to do it cause we're the roommates!"
"Oh, oh, oh, don't you pull that roommate card on me! I was her roommate first!"
"Pheebs, that was like five years ago! It doesn't count anymore! They weren't dating then! And besides! You moved out on her without telling her! Ha!"
"So," Phoebe paused, waiting for a comeback to come, "You've known the Gellers longest, you should stay with them! Ha! Take that!"
"What if we just send them down for coffee, and say we'll meet them there in like five minutes?" Joey shrugged, "That way, nobody has to miss out on the fun cause either way somebody got something to trump somebody's something."
"You know what, that makes sense," Rachel pointed out to Phoebe, trying to figure out where this sudden wisdom had come from.
"Yeah, who knew?" She commented back, "Our little Joey is growing up so fast, I remember the day when he put a turkey on his head in order to scare Chandler," she paused, "He scared Monica, but she's scared to let anyone eat without a napkin."
"Joey you had your head up a dead animals ass?"
"Thanks for telling that story, Pheebs. I just love reliving those moments."
The door opened behind them, and Ross poked his head in, "Hey guys, we found the bagel cutter. It was right on the kitchen table, I can't believe you guys missed it!"
"Really? Wow, I can't believe we missed it, Pheebs," Rach said slowly as she glared at Phoebe for her mistake. "You would have thought that we would have seen it, wouldn't ya?"
Phoebe laughed uncomfortably, "Yeah, this way it makes it sound like it was a fake bagel, but I really wanted that bagel."
"Too bad we're fresh out of bagels, huh, guys?" Joey hung his head in feigned disappointment as he pushed the small package of bagels off the counter behind him, "Hey! I got an idea! Let's go out for breakfast with your parents, Ross!"
"Yes! That sounds like a great idea, Joey!" Rachel practically shouted, "Hey Ross, how about you and your parents go down and get some coffee, y'know give ya a little bit of time alone with your parents to talk and we'll just say we're calling in late for work or something!"
Ross opened the door completely, and nodded along. "Yeah, yeah, you know that sounds like a really good idea. I really haven't gotten much of a chance to talk with my parents, y'know, one on one yet. You guys would really do that?"
"Sure Ross!" Phoebe laughed, "What kind of friends do you take us for?"
"Hey, should we wake up Monica and Chandler, they might wanna come too," Ross pointed out, "And, between us, I think my parents are starting to get really creeped out, my dad's getting that look in his eye when he wants to," he made the motion of ringing someone's neck, "Y'know?" He chuckled, "That Chandler's a dead man when he wakes up!"
"Ah, ha, ha, ha, he's just a dead man walkin' isn't he!" Joey forced a laugh.
"Ross, why don't you go now, so that we can get a good table?" Phoebe asked, "We'll wake Chan and Mon up and see if they wanna come, but I don't think they can, I remember Mon saying something about work and Chandler's got some sort of presentation or whatever he does."
"Thanks again guys, I'll go tell my parents the plan! This is so great!"
"Uh-huh, Ross," Rachel mumbled out, "We'll be down there in like fifteen or twenty minutes. That should give you enough time."
"Thanks again guys! I owe you!" He smiled happily as he ran back across the hall.
"God he's clueless," Rachel commented, then she turned to Phoebe and asked, "Why did I date him, again?"
Joey thought about it for a second, "Cause you were hopelessly in love with him," he mumbled out.
Rachel glared at him, picked up the empty bucket and whacked his arm with it. "Go fill this up," she barked out.
"Yes m'am!"
"What about Chandler? He's so dead if they find out!" Phoebe pointed out, "I mean not only Ross, but the father! And they're still going at it!? That's like suicide!"
"I know!" Rachel cried out, "And they are really bad at this whole not getting caught thing? I mean this is like three or four times, in like two days! Not even!"
"How did we not catch on sooner."
"Hey, Pheebs, that work story was a nice cover," Rachel congratulated her, giving her a thumbs up sign in approval.
"Here's the water," Joey held up the filled bucket, "You guys go catch to make sure the Geller's are gone, and that Monica has towels."
"Why towels?"
"We're about to drench her couch and her in water, Monica will freak if it can't be dried off right away," Rachel agreed, "Good thought, Joe."
"I'll go and catch for the Gellers," Phoebe said as she slipped out the door and across the hall.
Joey gave a stern nod, "Always thinkin'!"
"I'm sure you are," Rachel smiled.
Phoebe ran back into the apartment, "The Gellers have left the building! Are all systems go, Tribbiani?"
"Water accounted for, m'am!"
"And Green! How 'bout those towels?"
"I'll grab them when I get in there, Pheebs, pinky swear."
"Alright! Let's go get us some revenge!" Phoebe smirked as she opened the door silently and crept across the hall, Rachel and Joey in tow holding the bucket of water. She held up her finger to her mouth, as she turned the door handle to the girl's apartment, and pushed it open with barely a creek.
They crept inside, Rachel separating for a moment to go and grab the spare towels from the bathroom cabinet, then rejoined Phoebe and Joey at the back of the couch.
"Ready?" Joey whispered, Phoebe nodded and helped him lift up the bucket of water above Monica and Chandler's heads.
"One," Rachel breathed out, "Two, three!"
"SHIT!" Chandler yelled, jerking up as the freezing cold water slashed against his skin.
"AH!" Monica jumped up with Chandler, and fell off of the couch entirely from the surprise.
Chandler whacked his head against the bucket that Joey and Phoebe held over his head, both of them finding that highly amusing. "OW! DAMMIT!" He yelled at both of them, as he rubbed his head in pain.
"Ow," Monica stood back up, rubbing her butt after the pain of her crash landing with the floor. "What the hell was that for?"
"Looks like somebody overslept their beauty sleep," Phoebe smirked.
"Paybacks a bitch," Joey explained with a smirk.
"Give me that towel," Monica said bitterly, grabbing one of the towels from Rachel's hands, and began to dry herself off. Then her eyes bulged, "OH MY GOD! What time is it!?"
"Almost eight-thirty," Rachel told her, "They saw, but I don't think they caught on. At least Ross didn't, he was just bothered by it, but he bought the whole TV watching thing."
"Where are they now?" Chandler wrapped his arms around Monica, who was still worrying about whether or not her family had caught on yet.
"Down getting coffee," Phoebe told them, "Don't worry, they think that we're letting you guys sleep. In fact, that we're leaving you guys here and going out for breakfast and then we're going to conveniently take them shopping."
Monica's lips slowly formed into a smile, "Are you guys serious?"
"Well you apparently can't be away from each other for more then a couple of hours, so we figured we'd give you the day to do," Rachel paused, "Whatever," she said uncomfortably, "So that maybe you'll be able to go a little longer, huh?"
"Yeah, we've been pretty sloppy lately," Monica admitted sheepishly, "I'd hate for them all to find out that way, I mean just look at how you two took it! Imagine Ross in your position!"
"I am so dead!"
"I know, dude! Who is gonna be my roommate?"
"Don't you mean who's gonna take care of you?"
"No," Joey said sadly, "You're my best friend, who happens to cover me a lot, but still! I'm gonna miss you! Not you giving me money."
Chandler smiled, "Aw, Joe, that was sweet."
"Well considering the fact that we're talking about you being dead, that might not be so sweet once you think about it," Rachel pointed out.
"Either way," Monica interrupted, "Thank you for braving the day with my parents, guys, we owe you a lot."
Rachel smiled, "What are roommates for besides lying for each other and helping each other sneak around with their secret boyfriends?"
"We gotta go, Rach, we said we'd be there in about fifteen minutes," Phoebe reminded her, pointing to her watch, "And it's been almost twenty."
Rachel nodded, "You guys owe us!"
"You have fun, you two!" Joey smiled, punching Chandler playfully in his arm "I'll stay out of the apartment all day, Mon, no worries!"
"Thanks, Joe," Chandler deadpanned.
"Whatever dude, you just go get laid!"
"Bye, Joe!"
"Remember the condom, dude!" Joey shouted as Rachel and Phoebe pushed him out the door.
"We'll see you two crazy kids later," Rachel smiled as she shut the door.
Monica turned to Chandler, a playful smile on her lips, "Let's play sick today," she whispered, snaking her arms around his waist.
Chandler kissed the top of her head, "I love you, you know that right?"
"I think I've heard it before, maybe," she brushed her lips against his cheek, then he pulled back and grabbed his hands inside of hers. She pulled him through the living room, and towards her own bedroom, smiling seductively.
Chandler smiled, "I love you," he repeated softly.
She opened the door to her bedroom, leaving the lights off, and they both slipped inside. She opened her mouth to say something back, but lips found hers first. In between the furry of passionate kisses, she finally whispered out, "I love you too."
"So Monica and Chandler seem rather close," Judy commented, "I thought he was your best friend." She took a sip of her coffee, paused for a moment, as if to judge it's flavor, then set the cup back down.
"Well, yea, he is one of my closest friends, I guess you could call him my best friend if you wanted too, I donno," Ross mumbled out, the conversation hadn't really gone as he would have hoped. All his parents wanted to talk about was Monica and her quote disgraceful behavior recently.
"Does she do that a lot? Sleep with that boy," Jack grumbled, ready to pounce on Chandler if he happened to walk into the coffeehouse at the very moment.
"Umm, not really. I mean, there was that one time when she broke up with Kip, but Phoebe was there too, so I don't think that counts."
"Well I don't approve. I think it's distasteful. Very distasteful."
"Distasteful, I thought it was disgraceful," Ross mumbled out quietly.
"What was that, dear?"
"Nothing," Ross chirped, "Just wondering what could be taking them all so long, y'know, calling in late and all."
"Oh, we're talking too much about Monica, aren't we?" Judy put her arm around Ross's shoulders, "We're sorry, sweetie. We didn't mean too. This is your time to catch up with us, isn't it?"
"Well, yeah, that was kinda the idea."
"We'll just have to deal with Monica later, alright, sweetie? We're here, one hundred percent, I promise!"
Jack tapped his wife on the shoulder, and pointed out the window at a couple just outside of the coffeehouse. "Judy! Isn't that disgraceful! Those two are making out right on the public street corner in broad daylight!"
"I can't believe young people today," Judy muttered.
Ross rolled his eyes, and fell back against the couch. "Yeah, young people today," he mumbled out in agreement, "How insensitive."
"Hey you guys! Are you ready to go get some breakfast!" Rachel called with a friendly smile, "Come on! Joey and Pheebs are waiting outside!" She waved them over to her, and held open the door for them.
"Yep! We gotta go!" Ross jumped off the couch, and ran towards Rachel.
"I'm so glad we had that little chat, Ross!" Judy cooed, "We should do this more often," she commented, as she placed on her coat and then walked slowly over to Rachel and Ross by the door.
"Yea, we should do that more often," Ross repeated dryly.
"Oh my gosh! That was your friends kissing!" Jack exclaimed, getting a better look at the now infamous making out couple.
"Oh, Joey and Pheebs? Yeah, something about Joey and his date or whatever, Pheebs was helping him out with something." Rachel said like it was the most normal thing in the world, "So where do you guys want to go for breakfast?"
"Where's Monica and Chandler?" Judy said Chandler's name like it was poison, and Rachel visibly cringed at that.
"Ah, they both had work things today, couldn't make it. Something about a presentation and a big day or whatever."
"Yeah, Mon's usually pretty busy at the restaurant lately," Ross added, "I think it's starting to gain in popularity."
"Oh well!" Rachel changed the subject, "Let's get going! I'm starving!"
"Didn't you have a bagel?"
"No, that was Phoebe."
"Then why is she coming?"
"Whoo, that girl can eat, I swear. Like an elephant that one." Rachel laughed out uncomfortably, "Well! Let's get going before she eats Joey!"
"Rach, are you feeling alright?" Ross asked, "You're not making any sense."
"What da mean, Ross? I'm making perfect sense, you're the one that's acting strange today."
Ross just shook his head, "Alright," he mumbled, not convinced. "We better get going," he agreed, and they walked out of the coffeehouse together.
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