Disclaimer: Anything recognizable from the Harry Potter series doesn't belong to me, but to JK while the other stuff does.
Summary: "Actually, I wouldn't be surprised if he gave up on you today. Any normal guy would." Lily Evans has finally decided to give James a chance, but things don't go so smoothly. Entwined in a web of complications, can Lily really figure out what changed between her and James? R/R, Sixth Year to Proposal
Chapter 1: Bugger off, Conscience
A fuming Lily Evans worked her way through the Great Hall to the Gryffindor Table and situated herself between her two best friends: Mona Bishop and Phyllis Russett.
"Oooh, that Potter has a lot of nerve," she seethed, glaring at a group of passing Hufflepuffs that were staring at her. "And why he won't take 'no' for an answer is beyond me."
"That's beyond all of us, Lil," a grim Mona grumbled. Today they were going to have about three tests, meaning for once in her life Mona would have to study. This didn't really delight the raven-head. Phyllis frowned.
"Come on, Mo, he isn't that bad," coaxed Phyllis, who was sometimes too sweet and forgiving for her own good. At a death glare from Lily, however, Phyllis added hastily, "or maybe he is."
"That little airhead ... that egotistical, conceited, good-for-nothing piece of-" Lily growled, till she was cut off from a squeak from Phyllis.
Mona let out a laugh.
"You know, Sirius is just as bad, Phyl ..." Mona drawled. It was Phyllis's turn to glare; she was always so touchy when it came to talking about Sirius the Ladies' Man, since he had once dated the soft-hearted blonde and dumped her not long after.
"Don't-say-his-name!" she snarled through gritted teeth. Very out of her character. Mona just smirked and continued eating. Lily was somewhat calming down, until she saw a bespectacled, untidy-haired boy who had just entered the Great Hall heading her way.
"Oh God ..." Lily breathed. Mona choked on her chicken and wisely chose this time to head off to her Common Room ("Gotta study, you know, three huge tests, not nice...") Phyllis turned a sickly magenta at the sight of a good-looking, dark-haired and dark-eyed boy following James Potter. Lily leapt out of her chair and made to leave.
"Evans!" James called out desperately after a retreating Lily. "Come on, Evans! Peter's said sorry! Are you all right?" Lily spun around, her pretty face contorted with fury.
"Pettigrew doesn't need to be sorry, Potter! If you hadn't knocked him over, he wouldn't have ended up tripping me! Why did you have to make everything a spectacle upstairs! And I thought I told you NO, I WILL NOT GO OUT WITH YOU!" she shouted. James flinched. Lily could make anything seem like his fault.
"Please Lily!"
"It's Evans to you, you stupid git ..."
"Fine, EVANS!"
All heads were turned and all eyes were locked on Lily and James, who were shouting at the top of their voices. Even the staff table was quiet with observation. Lily flushed.
"Well, if it hasn't gotten through that giant air-filled head of yours yet, Potter – NO, I AM NOT GOING OUT WITH YOU!" Once again livid, she turned on her heel and stomped away. The Great Hall was still quiet, until a great deal of murmuring broke out and talk began again. Irritated, James trudged over to the Gryffindor Table, avoiding the numerous questions being thrown at him.
"Another day, another gracious rejection thrown by our Lovely Lily." Sirius sighed sarcastically. James could've punched him, had he not been too humiliated to even speak.
Mona, who had returned to the Great Hall during the middle of Lily and James's conversation, was waiting for the redhead at the Hall entrance. Her eyebrows were raised absurdly high and she was snickering.
"What are you laughing about, Bishop?" Lily snapped, Mona following behind her.
"I know you probably don't want to look at the airhead again, but the look on his face was priceless ..."
"Was it?" Lily smirked.
"He did a good job of making it look like he was angry though. Some of the not-too-thick students out there could probably tell that he was actually feeling dejected and humiliated."
"Really?" Lily asked slowly. Her conscience was once again manipulating her.
"Yeah! It was great!" Mona couldn't help it sometimes, but she was dreadfully insensitive. This was the reason that if it weren't for Lily, she and Phyllis would've already killed each other.
"Well, he'll get over it, right?" Lily asked, fighting against the anxious tone that was threatening to seep into her voice. Mona looked carefully at the redhead's slightly-pink face.
"You're not actually I worried /I about him, are you?"
"No!" But Lily's reply had been too quick and Mona wasn't dense.
"Yes, you are ... oh my God, you are!" Mona let out a loud, long laugh. Lily stepped defiantly on her foot. She wasn't I worried /I about Potter ... no, how could she be? She rejected him like this everyday!
But it'll get to him eventually... thought her conscience.
Oh shut it, you worthless thing! Lily snapped inside. Her conscience only tutted (mentally).
Did he really deserve that? Just for asking you out? it nagged yet again.
And for getting me tripped in front of everyone! Lily thought desperately. The conscience shook its head (yet again, mentally. I don't know about you, but I can't see how a voice can shake its head...)
Ha! If Phyllis or Mona tripped you, you probably couldn't care less! What makes it so different with Crackpot?
It's Potter, not Crackpot, Lily thought absently, a few seconds later to her horror and shock.
Aha! I prove triumphant! You were just putting on a show to humiliate him, weren't you, Lily? Weren't you?
Um ... I have no idea what you're talking about! Lily countered frantically. If she weren't to busy with her self-conflict, she would've been rather worried for her sanity. She didn't really know if arguing with a taunting voice in your head was exactly healthy.
Yes you do, and you did a pretty good job of it too from the look on his face ... look who's talking about arrogant jerks now!
Will you please just BUGGER off?!
Not until I get my point across. I know you despise how he can be such a self-centered prat, but he can change. Anybody can change. He'll realize that soon enough. Heaven knows, he may even stop messing up his hair! God, that would cap off all things good! But back to talking sensibly, maybe getting to know him will help him change, since he's so freakishly obsessed over you. No matter how long you've been living with this idea, he isn't hopeless. Not hopeless yet.
Lily stopped walking. Maybe there was the answer of all things. Letting him CHANGE. Getting to know him bet – Lily screamed internally so loud, that outside it came out as a small shriek. Get to know James Potter better, my arse! Lily thought. But maybe it wouldn't come out totally fruitless. Maybe he could deflate his head a bit ... if not a lot.
And goodness, Lily thought irresistibly, the day he DID stop running his hand through his hair would be worth it all.
--- A/N --- Sorry about this being so short, but this is probably the shortest chapter there will be. I know the conscience thing is kinda double-personality and a bit past sane, but it does have a nice effect, don't you think? And Lily is not going crazy, sorry to disappoint you. But come to think of it, I might just right a one-shot along those lines someday... anyway, I hoped it wasn't so horrible that you won't review –cough, cough-, 'cause I'd GLADLY acknowledge you with a reply in my A/N, which is currently useless to me. Unless you enjoy my endless rambling about my own personal issues, but just email me and you'll find that I ramble on more than you know.
REVIEW! That said, I am getting offline for a bit of sleep now... tired...
