Chapter 11:

As soon as Emerson left Mercedes went back to strangling Amber.

"TURN HIM BACK RIGHT NOW!"

"All right, all right! Calm down already!" Amber said and turned Legolas back into an elf. He looked rather scarred.

"Ugh!" he said, "I NEVER want to be an amphibien again!"

"Well, we've got to catch up, or the orcs will sure be in a lot of trouble!" said Amber and they all started forward again.

BACK TO THE ORCS:

"SHUT... UP...NOW!" Saruman glared at Mary, but she just grinned and started singing again.

"I will not stand for this any longer!" Saruman shouted. "Tie her up to a tree. We have no further use of her."

All the orcs advanced and Mary said, "You all sound rather grumpy. Maybe a little sing-along would help!"

At this thought all the orcs jumped on her and tied up her legs and arms, leaving her staff leaning against a tree.

"Excuse me, but this is inhumane treatment that is unjustified by any-" Mary was cut off as she saw something shiny attached to the belt of one of the orcs. Naturally attracted to anything shiny she grabbed it and put it in her pocket.

The orcs started to tie her to a branch upside down when she exclaimed, "Excuse me, but I am wearing a dress in case you hadn't noticed!"

"All the better then." one said and put her up anyway.

"Lets go get some bologna and ketchup sandwitches." Saruman said and they started to walk away.

"You shall not be let off so easily!" Mary yelled. "I shall have my revenge! MWAHAHAHAHA!" and she began to sing again making all the orcs run for their lives.

'Luckily these ropes aren't too tight.' Mary thought. 'Now if I could just reach my staff...' She started swinging back and forth and cursing both the orcs and the tree.

BACK TO AMBER ET AL.:

As the elves came bursting loudly through the forest Jesse asked, "Shouldn't we keep it down a bit? They can probably hear us coming. They might have even left traps or something."

"No way!" Amber exclaimed. "Orcs are naturally stupid creatures. There is no way that they could outsmart ME!"

BACK TO THE ORCS:

After a large meal of bologna and ketchup sandwitches the orcs stopped to rest, finally without any singing at all.

Saruman went up to the lead orc. "Where is the ring you were carrying? I need it now."

The orc searched his belt, but was unable to find it. He looked up at Saruman to see that he was in definate trouble.

"DAMN IT! THAT CURSED WIZARDRESS HAS THE RING! HOW COULD YOU BE SO STUPID AS TO LET HER GET IT!"

Saruman had the unfortunate orc pinned against a tree. The others watched in fascinated horror as Saruman grabbed a spear and with one thrust severed his head from his body.

"Now," He said in affected calmness, "the rest of you will find her and get back that ring."

The orcs jumped up and ran off as fast as they were able.

BACK TO EMERSON:

Emerson was just coming up to the clearing when he thought he could hear Mary's voice.

"You stupid tree! Give me back my staff, you cursed thing! Stupid, evil, goddamn orcs! I swear if I find you..."

Emerson walked into the clearing to see Mary hangingupside down from a tree, with her skirt hanging over her head.

'Mary!" he exclaimed incredulously.

She pushed the skirt out of her face and caught sight of him. "Emerson! Am I ever glad to see-" She was cut off as her head banged into the tree trunk. "CRAP! STUPID TREE!"

"Mary are you alright?" Emerson asked.

"Of course I'm alright, I've only been kidnapped by orcs, hung upside down from a tree, and been dying from embarassment because my skirt is hanging over my head!"

"Oh, er, sorry." He said and went to cut her down.

" Wait, do you hear that?" asked Mary.

"What is that?" asked Emerson.

" The orcs! They must have realized! Quick start singing!" screamed Mary.

"What, start singing, what good is that going to do?" Emerson asked.

"Absolutely nothing." Saruman said coming into the clearing. "We are determined to make you pay."

BACK TO AMBER ET AL.:

"Are we there YET!" Mercedes asked. "I wish something would happen already!"

No one bothered to answer her and they all walked in silence.

Katie started humming in boredom and Amber recognized it as some G&S.

"Oh, come on Katie!" Amber exclaimed.

"What, I miss Mary!" Katie exclaimed. "I miss being yelled at and all these weird big words!"

"Aargh, will you all just please shut-" Mercedes started, but was interrupted by a huge net that was hidden by leaves and they all flew up into the air.

"CRAP!" Amber exclaimed.

"YOU SAID A BAAAAD WORD!" Mercedes exclaimed in a high pitched voice.

"Oh yeah, the orcs are REALLY stupid!" Katie exclaimed.

"Yeah, I guess orcs aren't the only naturally stupid creatures around here." Mercedes said as she tried to reach Legolas. She missed and grabbed his dagger instead, which fell on Amber's head.

"OOOOOOOOWWWWWWW! YOU STUPID ELF!" Amber exclaimed and tried to grab Legolas, sitting on Katie's head in the process. Jesse tried to grab onto her, but he made everyone else topple over onto her.

"Okay, this is REALLY pathetic." said Ramses who was in the middle of the pile up. "What are we going to do now?"

Amber thought for a moment. "Oh I know! Jesse can dematerialize and cut us down-"

"OH NO HE WON'T!" Katie managed to get out before she was again smothered by everyone. "You try it Jesse and I'll whack you so hard you'll wish you were dead!"

"Hello everyone are you having a nice day?"

Everyone turned around to see a guy with a tail looking up at them from the river.

"OH MY GAWD, HE'S GOT A TAIL!" Mercedes exclaimed.

"Who are you?" Victoria asked interestedly.

"My name is Andrew, how pleasant to meet you."

"HELLO, I SAID HE'S GOT A TAIL!"

"Yeah, we heard you." Amber said. Then to Andrew, "Now, could you help-"

"Are you a mermaid!" Mercedes interrupted.

"Come on Mercedes," Katie said rolling her eyes "He's obviously not a merMAID."

"Well, actually I am."

Katie's eyes popped. "Oh. Okay then." Then she turned to Jesse and whispered, "He scares me."

"Anyways, could you get us down from here NOW?" Amber asked.

"Oh, certainly! Just give me a moment and I'll be back, don't you fret!" Andrew said and swam off.

"I don't get it, how can he be a mermaid if he's a guy?" Jesse asked.

Ramses shrugged. "I haven't the slightest idea."

"Trust me, you really don't want to know." Amber said.

"OH, OH, I CAN EXPLAIN!" Mercedes said and Amber covered her mouth.

Meanwhile Victoria and Jada were talking.

"I think he's so hot, don't you?"

Jada gave her an odd look. "He said he's a mermaid."

"So!" Victoria said defensively. Jada just shrugged and took her book out of her satchel.

After a lot of effort and a LOT of swearing Andrew the mermaid managed to get everyone down from the tree.

"Well, now that everyone is safe and sound would you care for some tea?" Andrew asked, looking expectantly at Victoria.

She was about to agree when Amber interrupted. "Nope, we have to save Mary and Emerson before the poor orcs are sung to death." Noticing Victoria's disappointed face she added, "But we might come by later."

"Oh certainly, come by any time!" Andrew yelled as they rode off. "Farewell my dears."

BACK IN THE CLEARING:

"Oh yeah?" Mary yelled and again burst into song;

"The screws may twist and the rack may turn,

And men may bleed and men may burn,

O'er London tower and its golden -"

She was cut off by the screaming of orcs as they stampeeded into the forest and Saruman's protests.

Saruman suddenly found himself alone and wielded his staff menacingly. Emerson went to grab one of the daggers, but Mary stepped in front with her staff.

"Do you really want to risk it?" she asked quietly. Saruman realized that he was actually afraid of this girl and her startling magical powers.

He paused for a moment then dashed into the trees. "I shall have my vengeance!" he yelled as he ran. 'After all, ' he thought to himself, 'I can get the ring back later and bring them to Mordor by force!'

"Well, thats a relief." Mary sighed, slumping against the tree.

"Yes that was very quick thinking." Emerson said. He paused for a moment, then said tentatively, "And you do have a lovely voice."

Mary grinned. "Thank you! It's one of my favorite G&S songs."

Emerson moved slowly closer. "Um, Mary..."

"Yes?"

He stopped. "Nevermind." He took her hand and started to move out of the forest. "Let's go find the others."

Mary stopped walking. "You're just going to stop there!" she said angrily.

Emerson grinned. "No." And he kissed her full on the mouth.

He then moved away and Mary just sat there gaping. Emersons grin got even wider. "Shall we go now?" Mary just nodded and they walked into the forest hand in hand.

After a moment Mary regained her composure and said, "So, you know any good G&S duets?"

BACK TO AMBER ET. AL.:

"My feet are tired." Mercedes whined as they walked. "How far are they anyway?"

Amber stopped in her tracks. "Do you hear that?"

Everyone listened closely and they heard two people singing in the distance;

"Oh joy, oh rapture unforseen

For the now the sky is all serene

The god of day the orb of love

Has hung his encign high above

The sky is all ablaze!

With wooing-"

"Oh my gawd, it's Mary!" Katie yelled. Mary and Emerson walked through the trees and stopped abruptly as they saw everyone watching them.

"Aw, that's so cute." Amber stated. Mary and Emerson looked at each other and let go of their hands instantaneously.

"Oh great, now we're gonna have to put oup with the two of them!" Mercedes cried, burrying her face in her hands.