A/N: Thank you to all of those who gave me story recommendations! I highly appreciate them! Fell free to recommend more! ;o) Enjoy!

Descent into Madness

III. Brave no More

Sirius stared at the ceiling and sighed. He'd already eaten the chocolate Remus had brought him earlier that afternoon. The sun had already set and James had not come to see him once. Not that he really expected him to come, but he thought he might at least be curious as to why his friend had missed all of his classes that day. Then again, after last night they might not even be friends anymore.

Distant footsteps caused his heart to quicken and his frame to stiffen. When they passed a moment later he relaxed back onto his pillow. He'd been terrified Madam Pomfrey would ask him further about the marks she'd seen on his back. If he hadn't been so loopy at the time he wouldn't have even let her see them in the first place.

It was now Monday evening. In four days he'd be shipped off back home. The thought drove off any other feelings as anxiety swept over him once more. He'd have to go back to that place. He knew the moment he ran away from home that summer that were he ever to return the punishment would he severe. Yet it had always seemed so far off… and he'd felt sure he could sneak off with James' family again. But now his mother had written to McGonagall, and McGonagall was going to see her wishes fulfilled. That was her duty, after all, was it not? He wasn't an adult; he couldn't make his own decisions yet. Until that fateful day he would remain under that terrible yoke…

"Mr. Black?" Madam Pomfrey seemed to have appeared out of nowhere and he visibly started at her voice. "Professor McGonagall is here to see you." She stepped aside and Sirius felt his anxiety tighten as her stern gaze fell upon his bedridden form. He fought to keep his breathing even. For a moment he thought he'd seen his mother's cruel glint in her eyes…

"How are you feeling, Mr. Black?"

Her question caught him off guard and he eyed her skeptically. "Fine, Professor."

"Do you mind if I have a seat?"

Yes. He didn't want her anywhere near him at the moment. He didn't want anyone near him. Instead he nodded.

With a wave or two of her wand she conjured up a chair and sat alongside his bed. As she scooted it toward him she noted him tense. His nearly palpable apprehension was not making things any easier. Did he have so little faith that he'd now fear violence from her? She choked down the thought.

"Sirius…"

He cocked his head slightly. She'd never called him by his first name before. His dread intensified.

She continued in a voice he had rarely, if ever, heard from her. It was delicate. "Your mother has written to me, specifically asking that I ensure you return home over the Holidays."

He sank slightly under the covers.

"Yet as I understand it you did not spend much of your summer at home. You were at the Potters', correct?"

Sirius' voice was barely audible. "Yes, Professor."

"Do you want to return to your parents this Holiday?"

Sirius eyed her wearily. Was this some sort of trap? What control did she even have over her students outside of Hogwarts? Instead of answering he looked away.

McGonagall fought down a sigh. Her hands fidgeted in her lap. "Black… when Madam Pomfrey treated your back today she noticed some-" to her surprise, before she'd even finished her sentence Sirius had slithered lower in his bed, pulling his covers up over his head with his free hand. She paused, completely thrown off by the childish act and her lips moved for a moment. "Sirius?"

She could barely hear his reply. "Go away."

Her heart constricted. How could she have never noticed how much pain this child was in when she saw him nearly every day? "I wish I could just go away, Sirius, but I can't. I need you to talk to me."

The shape under the covers curled in on itself more tightly yet remained silent.

"Sirius…" she laid her hand on the covered lump of his shoulder. "I need to hear you say it."

Her composure dipped when she heard a muffled sob from beneath the blankets. "Did someone in your family give you those scars, Sirius?"

She could feel the shoulder beneath her hand trembling. The tears that began to prick her eyes were betrayed in her voice. "I'm sorry to have to ask you this, but did your parents hurt you, Sirius?"

"Why do you care?" his voice cracked with tears and she was unsettled by his question.

"I-I am your head of house, Black. Of course I care."

"You're just the same."

"What?" his voice had been so quiet she wasn't even sure she'd heard him properly. "What did you say to me, Mr. Black?"

He didn't respond but the shoulder under her hand shook once more with a silent sob. She realized the dangerous waters she was nearly treading and immediately attempted to calm them. "I'm not mad at you, Sirius, and I will never harm you."

"You pulled my arm."

For a moment she wanted to rebuke him. "I was merely escorting you to the hospital wing, I'd hardly say that counts as-" then she suddenly realized which arm was in a sling, which arm she had been leading him by, and the quiet yelp he had issued as she pulled him to his feet. She should have known then but her own exhaustion and impatience had driven it from her mind before consideration. "Oh Merlin…. That was your broken arm."

For a brave moment she attempted to remain composed. For a brave moment she warded against the realization that in that moment she had been no better than those who had harmed him. But that brave moment faltered and she removed her hand.

Gently, she pulled the covers off the hidden form. She laid her hand back on his shoulder, not bothering to wipe the tears that had begun to slip down her cheeks behind her glasses. "I am very sorry, Sirius. I never meant to harm you."

To her surprise her student struggled to sit up, and pivoted to face her, the cocky, headstrong young man hidden behind the pain of a wounded child. He had no use for his mask now. She should have always seen it as a mask, at least in part. "Please don't make me go back, Professor."

"What?" her eyes searched what she could see of his through his hair.

As his shoulders sagged with another sob he nearly crumpled back onto the bed. "I don't want to go back."

"Oh child," she leaned forward, pulling him into her embrace. To her slight surprise he readily wrapped his free arm around her, burying his head into her shoulder and sobbing freely. "Shhh," she rubbed his heaving back, careful of the lump she knew was a bandage. "It's alright. Let it all out now." Her voice cracked with her own tears. "You're safe now. You can stay here over the Holidays."

The child in her arms continued to shake with the sobs that wracked his thin frame.

"Have you ever seen the Great Hall at Christmas?"

He screeched out a "no."

She smiled as a fresh wave of tears spilled forth. "There are twelve beautiful Christmas trees, and on Christmas day we have a most lovely feast." She paused, feeling the fabric on her shoulder soaking through with warm tears. "You'll be safe here. I'll simply owl your family to inform them of your decision to stay."

"But sh-she said-"

"She can't touch you here, child. You'll always be safe at Hogwarts."

He began to hiccough as his sobs became less frequent. "I'm s-sorry."

She pulled back then, searching his tear-stained face. "Whatever for?"

His face contorted in a sob once more. "F-for everything."

Fresh tears spilled from her eyes as she pulled him into her arms once more. "So am I, Sirius. So am I."

Madam Pomfrey had appeared with a potion. She left it on the nightstand with a meaningful glance to McGonagall. Once his hiccoughs had slowed and his tears had begun to dry she gave him the sleeping potion. He lay back down on his pillow, his breathing still fighting to return to normal as he continued to hiccough. She stroked his hair as she waited for him to relax enough for the potion to take effect, not caring if the action might embarrass him in the morning.

Once his breathing had finally slowed and his eyes drooped shut, she wiped at any remaining tears on her face.

Madam Pomfrey smiled at her from a few beds down, her own eyes teary. "Well done, Professor. Well done."

Please Review!

Review Responses:

Padfoot: Hiya Padster! How are you? Sorry that last chapter was so sad... but then agian, I'm sure this one wasn't much happier, was it? Sorry there was no Moony here for you, either, but yes, I also love that bit when he was being protective of his friend. Plus he seems to know what's going on and I think McGonagall aknowledged that when she looked him in the eye. I hope you enjoyed this chapter! Love ya Padfoot! big hug

EsScaper: LOL- I'm glad I was able to throw you off-guard there, in a good way, of course! I'm currently reading Death Before Dishonor and am indeed enjoying it! And am also rather obviously a Sirius fan. ;o) So thank you for the recommendation! And again, I still hate that you belittled yourself in your bio. You really ought to give writing a go, I'm sure you'll be great at it:o)

I'm glad you liked last chapter! I am eager to hear your thoughts on this one! Yes, McGonagall is finally beginning to use her knowledge, isn't she? And as for Sirius' fate... all I can say is that you'll just have to wiat and see... actually that's a lie, since that's rather obviously not "all that I can say," I can say quite a lot about many things, actually, but that's beside the point. I shall exit before any of my charm is utterly spent... ;o)

saiyanwizardgurl: Thank you so much for your kind words! I really appreciate them. I'm so glad that you felt Sirius was in character. He's a rather tricky fellow at times, don't you believe? I look forward to hearing your thoughts on this chapter. Thank you for reading/reviewing!

Allacaya: Ai my dear reader! Thank you so much for your input and your musings were a delight! Yes, James really is being a bit of a thick head, isn't he?;o) And I certainly wouldn't blame Sirius for leaping off the Express, either! I don't think that facing his mother to take his punishment would be any more brave than running away, actually. In fact, it might be less, because it would be falling into his old way of life again, which he is desparately struggling against. And you are most certainly right, it is extremely difficult to speak of our problems to others andespecially something of this subject matter. Very perceptive of you!

Thank you so much for your comment about my writing style! I was a bit nervous about that- I did consciously take a conservative approach. I'd feared I'd been reading too much Hemmingway and that he was rubbing off on me, but I'm glad it works for you. I believe it's very important to give the reader the free use of her/his imagination, and hence not necessarily dictate every movement of every character, you know? Thank you also so much for the recommendation: I shall definitely follow up on that. It looks like a great story:o)Well, I shall let you return to your studying, if that is what is still on your agenda, lol. Take care, and I can't wait to read your thoughts on this chapter:o)

paige-rossi-black: Now, if last chapter was such a small step, what do you think of this one? lol. And thank you SO MUCH for your lovely recommendations, including your own stories:o) They were a pleasure to read, and your recommendations also look highly promising! Again, thank you! I hope you enjoyed this chapter and highly look forward to your thoughts on it. Thank you again for always reading and reviewing. Take care my friend!