Disclaimer: Writing this repeatedly is annoying... JKR's is JKR's, while the rest is MINE. MINE. MINE. MINE.

A/N: Anything.


Chapter 4: Never Giving Up


It was as if the Hogsmeade date hadn't even happened. Much to everyone's frustration and dismay, Lily was still refusing to give James a chance and James was still stuck on her like a moonstruck pup. Although Lily and James told everyone about their "date" (after all, James wouldn't shut up about it and Lily could never stop contradicting his far-fetched versions), no one could understand how they could've been so... usual to each other. It brought Sirius, Remus, Peter, Mona, and Phyllis great disturbance to just think about it.

No one had ever seen one of Dumbledore's clever plots become unsuccessful.

One night in the Common Room, Lily, Mona, and Phyllis sat around the fireplace, idly chatting and doing homework. Predictably, Lily was ranting endlessly about one of James' impractical tactics and Mona was forced to listen, lest she face a redhead's wrath. Of course, Phyllis simply sat erect in her armchair, listening to no one, working relentlessly on her essay.

"And you know what that jerk does? He takes the glass cup I was trying to Transfigure into a pair of glasses and turns it into a bunch of violets! I was only so lucky that McGonagall saw the whole thing and didn't fail me! Can you believe it? I do bad enough in that class without Potter messing things up! I just wish that I – Mo? MO!? Listen to me!" Lily demanded.

Mona jerked horribly in her seat and looked up, blinking sleepily.

"Erm, yeah, despicable git, Lils, of course..." she yawned widely, her eyelids drooping.

Lily nodded promptly, returning to her rant, still supremely under the impression that Mona was paying rapt attention to her issues. Instantly tuning the redhead out, Mona glanced over Phyllis's shoulder at her essay. Unsurprisingly, Phyllis snatched it out of view.

"Oh, come on, Phyl, I already finished mine. A peek won't hurt."

"Mona Pristina Bishop, must I inform you of a little something called privacy?"

"Come off it, Phyllis, I told you, I already did my work. And don't ever use my middle name again or I'll permanently hex your pretty blonde curls into something that'll make Medusa look like a model," Mona retorted, flushing angrily at the sound of her middle name. The platinum blonde sniffed and returned to her essay, which she was doing with her head bent protectively over the parchment.

Just as Mona had guessed, Lily was still ranting. Her face was flushed and a few wisps of her fiery hair were falling out of its tousled bun, framing her face lightly. She took a deep, easing breath and slowly her face lost its furious blush. Frowning miserably, she gazed imploringly at Mona and Phyllis.

Mona and Phyllis (which was surprising, considering her determination to get her schoolwork done) both looked up and stared sympathetically at Lily.

"Lils," Phyllis began, until Lily cut her off with an impatient wave of her hand.

"This is just so tiring. Maybe Potter should think about giving up on me, because I know it's completely impossible. He just hasn't... changed enough for me, is all. We can't keep playing this ridiculous game forever. He has a life, and I have a life, and his chasing after me will always be useless. I just want to save him the trouble of a true heartbreak."

Mona and Phyllis exchanged final glances and gazed at Lily understandingly.

"Even though I still think he deserves a chance, it's your choice, and you can always count us behind you." Mona said hesitantly. Phyllis nodded approvingly.

"Although James will never understand it, there are some things we have to let go. His chase is just a game, and will never become anything more than that," she said consolingly. Lily smiled appreciatively at her two best friends, but it was half-hearted.

No matter how relieved she would be when James would decide to give up on her, she couldn't help feeling empty inside. As though she would never feel emotionally complete when he'd forget her and find someone new. As though she'd really miss his pining at her and desperate antics.

But she had to admit, they were quite entertaining.


"James, we want to help," chorused Sirius and Remus seriously. Peter, who was busy finishing his Herbology essay, nodded vaguely without looking up from the paper. Sprawled on the couch was James, his face buried in a pillow. He knew that nothing would change, that Lily would hate him forever. But he had to try.

"You can't help," James groaned, his voice muffled by the pillow. "It's hopeless."

"And since when have you started listening to Lily?" Sirius demanded, throwing a pillow to rouse his friend. The pillow hit James in the head, he James only jerked sideways and remained in his position.

"Tell us again what happened at Hogsmeade," Remus ordered, a sort of desperately manic gleam in his eye. Sirius stared at him, a little surprised that Remus – who was always the ones with the solutions – could look so desperate as to throttle Lily and James to get them together.

"I've told you twelve times already!" James whined. "It means nothing!"

"It means everything, James. She was actually being civilized to you, which is something. You're just too thick to see it," Remus amended brusquely. James looked up and sighed, ready to tell.

"Fine, fine. I'll tell, but believe me, it means nothing."

"Just tell it already!" Sirius cried exasperatedly.

"We met up in Honeydukes. She was dressed up all neat and her hair was perfect, as always. She seemed pretty grumpy and reluctant and snapped at everything I said. She joked about how I tried to comb my hair and I told her she was all tidied up too. She was surprised. So we started talking and... that's it."

He dunked his head into his pillow again, sighing ruefully.

Sirius and Remus shook their heads in unison disbelievingly.

"Come now, Prongs, you know that's not it. Try to remember everything, James!" Sirius cried, staring pointedly at James. James looked up and stared ahead at nothing in particular. Suddenly, his hazel eyes brightened and a small smile quirked on his lips.

"Well, there was one thing..."

"What?" chorused Sirius and Remus, who seemed dead intent on this. They were hoping against hope that this Lily and James ordeal would be over soon, since it was causing everyone a lot of time and effort. No one said it would be easy. All this they hid from James and Lily both.

"I called her a spitfire, and she told me 'That was probably the best compliment you told me all day' or something like that and I..."

"You what??" persisted Remus impatiently.

"I practically poured out my heart to her. I told her I get nervous around her, that she is the most fiery and beautiful girl I know, and that she looks the best when she's furious. And she went all meek and quiet and when I hugged her, she hugged me back."

James grinned delightedly; that was the only time they had shared a tender moment, and he treasured the moment very much. When he had wondering time to kill, he played it over and over in his head like a movie. And it brought him marvel and bliss each time.

Sirius and Remus were staring at him, and then each grinned. Condescendingly. James knew what kind of smile that was and he knew what they were thinking. But he also knew that that was practically impossible. Lily would never give him a chance, and the odds of her admitting that she would like him by some miracle were worse.

His grin faltered; the reality was that Lily would never be his. Never.

"Wow, James. I didn't know she was capable of being so sensitive to you," laughed Sirius. Remus joined in, but James still wore his dismal expression.

"Yeah," he said, sadness leaking into his voice. "Yeah."


Four of the sixth-year Gryffindor girls were getting tired and feeling ready to flop onto their beds and sleep, except for Lily. Eleanor and Ramona were already sleeping and Phyllis and Mona were already settling into their beds. Only Lily was truly awake, active and aching for something to do. She turned her bright, emerald eyes on her two best friends as they each slid into their beds, eyes drooping and lips smacking.

"You two are tired? Already?"

Mona slipped under her bedcovers and let out a huge sigh, her eyes shutting instantaneously. Phyllis, however, paid mind to Lily's question and turned to stare incredulously at her nocturnal friend.

"And you aren't?"

"No. I need something to do... do you remember any essay that needs doing?"

"There's McGonagall's Transparency Spell essay. And to practice the actual spell, of course."

Lily groaned loudly enough to make Mona poke out her head from under her blanket to scowl at Lily. Curling up under her bed sheets again, she snorted cynically and went back to sleep.

"Why does it have to be Transfiguration?" Lily asked, more quietly this time.

"It's not that bad, Lils."

"Transfiguration is evil, Phyllis. You know it is."

Phyllis gave a small laugh before tucking herself into her blanket. Lily stared thoughtfully at her hands before getting up to leave for the common room.

At least she could get this stupid essay over and done with, she thought bitterly, quietly gliding out of the girls' dorm and softly shutting the door behind her. Wondering how on earth she would finish a roll and a half of parchment on rubbish about Transparency Spells, she stopped short at the sound of three boys' voices in the common room.

James, Sirius, and Remus. But most importantly, James.

She was close enough to hear their conversation clearly, but far enough to be out of their sight. She was just about to call their attention when she heard one of the boys say, "Lily." The sound of her own name made her freeze, suddenly curious about what they were saying about her.

If it were anything rude or indecent, she'd have each of their heads on a skewer. Biting her lip vigorously, she darted behind the wall in the dorms' staircase and strained her hearing for more.

"Lily can be like that, James," Remus was saying consolingly, although impatience was clear in his voice. "You know she doesn't hate you. She just has something against... proud people, is all."

Lily's eyebrows zipped up at the emphasized 'proud'. Proud wasn't the word. It wasn't near enough to suit her.

More like conceited and egotistical, she thought spitefully. James snorted in response to Remus' statement.

"Come on, Remus... you know she hates me. She'll never have me and she hates my guts. She hates me."

"Stop wallowing, you big lug," Sirius said edgily, yawning at the last syllable. "Remus, are you going to stay up all night trying to comfort this fat baby or do something worthwhile? Like sleep, for example."

"If I can get this over with at all, the sooner the better," Remus snapped intolerantly. Sirius blinked, then nodded in agreement.

"True. True."

The three boys were silent for a moment, until Sirius yawned again. As though that posed as the cue for conversation, Remus started talking again.

"So what are you going to do, James?"

James was silent. Lily's stomach fluttered with the thought of whatever James would do. She didn't know why, but she was suddenly a bit nervous, her mind jumping from one possibility to the other. She knew James was past fed up, although he was smart enough to hide it. She knew she drove him crazier than he drove her. She knew that he knew the only possibility that would allow peace between them, even if Lily suddenly dreaded it.

"James, come to your senses, she doesn't want – " Sirius began harshly, before James cut him off.

"I know, Sirius, but it's hard."

Lily's stomach writhed.

"Please, James, this is all very exhausting for us, and we would like some peace from your private affairs with Lily. I know you can't help it, but you drag us into every single one of your issues. We have lives too," Remus pleaded.

"I'm sorry Remus, but I know that if I give up now..." James shook his head, too lost in thought to speak. Lily swallowed, biting her lip and mentally begging him to go on. She didn't know why but Lily could've sworn that if he did move on... she'd miss him.

"At least I still have a chance while I still try. I'm sorry, but when a girl catches your heart as horribly as this," and James gave a very forced laugh that made Lily's skin prickle, "it's hard to let go. I'm not giving up, and whether or not she likes it, she has to deal with it."

Remus and Sirius were silent. They knew better than to try to change James' mind when it was so set, knew better than to try to counter his ideas when he was in his element.

Then, without warning, the three boys stood up and set off in the direction of the dorms' staircase. Lily sucked in her breath and bounded up the stairs, not even bothering to be quiet.

She knew the Marauders had heard her, but she didn't care. If they caught her, they'd have her neck. Slipping surreptitiously into her dorm, and while sinking into her bed, thoughts ran through her mind like a movie.

But only one stood out in her head, enough to cause her exhaustion and relief at the same time:

He wasn't giving up.

Her last conscious thought before slipping instantaneously into sleep was that he'd never go away.

She didn't know exactly how to feel about that.

A/N: ::gets pelted with rotten tomatoes:: I know this has been a pointless chapter, but it has purpose! And it adds fluff, so I'm not one to complain... I'm just glad that my best friend Kay (HI KAY! ::waves frantically::) enjoys it.

I aim for at least three reviews... come on, people, that's all I ask! But no one's stopping you at five...