DISCLAIMER: I don't own Lizzie McGuire, The Amazing Race, or any related characters or concepts.
VOICEOVER: In the last episode of The Amazing Race, teams started out in Tinseltown (series of shots of the Hollywood sign, the Chinese Theatre, and some of the stars in the Walk of Fame) and had to follow the stars (shots of team members wandering around the Walk of Fame looking at the stars). Then they went to Monterrey, Mexico, and needed to do some pyramid-building. (Pictures of contestants building pyramids) Some were naughty and some were nice (a few clips show Jack being rude to people, Tyrone ranting, and Kate being pouty, as well as some clips of others being more polite and friendly) and in the end, Jack and Ronald got to the pit stop last, and were eliminated. Now, the eleven remaining teams must race to the next pit stop, where one more team may be eliminated, as they enter the second leg of their race around the world for a million dollars, on… The Amazing Race!
Opening titles, and a commercial break
Caption: MIRANDA and LARRY: 1st to Depart, 7:08 AM
PHIL: Teams spent twelve hours in the pit stop, where they could sleep, eat, and mingle with one another before resuming the race. Since Miranda and Larry were the first to arrive, at 7:08 PM, they are the first to leave now, at 7:08 AM.
MIRANDA: OK, here's our clue. It says to go to Café Iguana.
LARRY: Oh, a restaurant for lizards?
MIRANDA: Probably just a cute name… gee, I hope they don't make us eat an iguana there! Anyway, they also gave us money for this leg… 220 dollars. That's U.S. dollars, not Mexican pesos.
Captions: MICHAEL and RODNEY: 2nd to Depart, 7:10 AM
TYRONE and LATONYA: 3rd to Depart, 7:10 AM
MICHAEL: Café Iguana… that's like the lizard in the car-insurance commercials?
RODNEY: No, I think that's a gecko.
TYRONE: I thought it's ducks that advertise insurance, ain't it?
LATONYA: You're thinking of a different commercial, for different insurance, dummy.
Caption: MIRANDA and LARRY: Currently in First Place
(Their cab pulls up to Café Iguana.)
LARRY: Look at the sign… it says "Hours: 8 PM – 2 AM."
MIRANDA: It looks like a nightclub.
LARRY: So it's "hurry up and wait"… the other group of teams will almost catch up. That sucks even more than Star Wars Episode III. So, what do we do until then?
MIRANDA: Be tourists, I guess… I'd like to explore Monterrey some more.
(The next two teams, who shared a cab, arrive.)
MIRANDA: We're all going to have to wait a while… look at the hours of this place.
MICHAEL: Well, the good night life, in any decent town, never really gets going until after midnight… it's nice that we can get started as early as 8:00. So, we'll get a chance for some tourism before that. We'll still be a couple of hours ahead of the other group… they didn't even make it to the pit stop before we left!
RODNEY: Let's all go see the sights of Mexico together… we don't have to be competitors again until the next game starts.
TYRONE: I dunno if that's a good idea… fraternizin' with the enemy an' all…
LATONYA: Sure it is… none of us have any way to get ahead of anybody else 'til tonight, so why not enjoy ourselves 'til then?
MIRANDA: ¡Si… vamos!
Caption: BECKY and JIM: 3rd to Depart, 8:10 AM
BECKY: Café Iguana… what a peculiar name.
arrives at café
JIM: We've got to wait until 8 PM to do the next thing… I don't see any of the other teams here, so I guess they went off to do the tourist thing. We should too.
Scenes of the team members looking at various tourist sites.
They all return to the nightclub just before 8:00, and the door opens at eight sharp.
MIRANDA(receiving clue) OK, it says it's a roadblock.
PHIL (voiceover) A roadblock is a task that only one team member can do. They have to choose which one will do the task before they find out exactly what he or she has to do. Each team member can only do six roadblocks, so they have to divide them between themselves over the course of the race.
MIRANDA: It asks for a team member who's "willing to serve."
LARRY: I don't see any tennis courts here, so they're probably talking about being a waiter or waitress… do you want to do this one?
MIRANDA: OK, I will, but that's two in a row for me… you'll have to do the next one. gets further instructions You're right, it's about waitressing… but there's some bartending in there too. I've got to make margaritas and serve them to the people in the nightclub, until I serve one to somebody who's got our next clue. They won't show the clue until I give them a margarita, so I have no way of knowing who I need to serve… I've got to just keep serving people until I get to the right one.
Inside nightclub; Miranda is behind the bar
MIRANDA: So, how do I do this?
BARTENDER:Señorita, you put ice in this shaker, then add tequila… then lime juice… shake hard… put salt around the outside of the glass, add ice and a lime wedge, and pour the drink! ¿Es muy facil, no?
MIRANDA: OK, I think I got it… here, let me try…
She mixes up and pours several margaritas, then puts them on a tray and heads into the crowd. The place looks like a really rowdy party is going on; people are dancing everywhere, but there are others along the bar and sitting at tables who look like they're the ones she's supposed to be serving.
MIRANDA: Whew… almost ran into that guy and dropped my tray. All right, I'll try serving these people. Here… got a clue?
CUSTOMER:Gracias, but sorry, no clue here.
She hands the rest of her drinks to others, but doesn't get a clue.
Caption: MICHAEL and RODNEY: Currently in Second Place
MICHAEL: OK, I did the last roadblock, so it's your turn, Rodney.
Interview Segment
RODNEY: At nightclubs, I'm usually one of the people dancing, drinking, and being wild, not the one trying to serve drinks in that atmosphere… it's an interesting change. But at home, I can mix up a mean margarita to make Jimmy Buffett proud, so I should do all right with this.
Caption: TYRONE and LATONYA: Currently in Third Place
LATONYA: I guess it's your turn now… are you sure you can handle it?
TYRONE: Are ya kiddn' girl? I can handle anything!
LATONYA: Apparently not including keeping a job…
Interview Segment
TYRONE: It's not fair to keep raggin' me about how I lose jobs… it ain't my fault that The Man conspires to keep free-thinkin' people like me down…
Caption: BECKY and JIM: Currently in Fourth Place
JIM: It seems to be my turn to do this one… mixing drinks? I can do that…
various shots of the four players making and serving margaritas
MIRANDA (putting a drink onto the bar in front of a customer) I hope you're not "clueless" too…
CUSTOMER(handing her a clue) ¡Aquí! Here's your clue… ¡Buena Suerte… good luck
MIRANDA: The clue tells us to go to El Plaza de Toros Monumental… that's the bullfighting arena.
LARRY: Oh, I hope they don't make us fight any bulls.
after a taxi ride to the arena
MIRANDA: It says there that the hours are 8 AM to 8 PM. It figures that, after a place that's only open at night, there's one that's only open in the day… more "hurry up and wait".
LARRY: They do it on purpose, you know, so that we all get bunched up again even after being split up. That keeps the race closer and more exciting.
MIRANDA: It's not really fair, though, is it?
LARRY: Since when is reality TV about fairness? It's all about ratings!
Back at the nightclub, the other teams keep on serving drinks.
TYRONE(receiving clue)Garcia's!
CUSTOMER: Surely what you really meant was "Gracias", señor.
TYRONE: Yeah, yeah, whatever…
At the arena
LATONYA: So we gotta wait some more. Figures… now we're all gonna be bunched together again.
Back at the nightclub
RODNEY(finishing making another batch of drinks)Hey, that's my best batch yet… too bad I've got to serve 'em instead of drinking 'em.
Hands drink to somebody at a table
CUSTOMER: Here's your clue, sir…
RODNEY: Much appreciated.
JIM: Here you are (giving margarita to woman at bar)… do you have a clue, by any chance? Yes? Great!
At arena
MICHAEL: So, I guess we're all here for the night; the rest of the teams should be joining us within a few hours.
Caption: LIZZIE and GORDO: 5th to Depart: 11:03 PM
LIZZIE: Here we are, finally getting out… we're, like, a whole day behind the leaders, and if the next place is closed at night, we'll never catch up with them.
GORDO: It says we're going to Café Iguana… that could be a bar or something… it's probably open late.
LIZZIE: An iguana is a type of lizard, isn't it? I haven't cared for lizards, ever since my creepy little brother named one after me.
GORDO: Hey, maybe we'll have to eat one, like on Fear Factor…
LIZZIE: That's gross…
GORDO: And I'm not sure if it's kosher… I might need to consult a rabbi!
Caption: AHMAD and AZKHAR: 6th to Depart: 11:04 PM
AZKHAR: I don't know what the Muslim dietary laws say about eating lizards, either. But we don't know that's what we're doing… let's get over there and find out!
There are three cabs waiting. Lizzie, Gordo, Ahmad, and Azkhar share one.
Caption: SUSAN and CONNIE, KIM and KELLY, MARISSA and SUZANNE: 7th – 9th to Depart: 11:06 PM
SUSAN: All right; let's get a cab.
MARISSA: Hey, just because you're a big intellectual professor and all, do you always have to be the one who speaks for all of us?
SUSAN: OK… what do you have to say?
MARISSA: Umm… let's get a cab?
Susan, Connie, Kim, and Kelly get into one of the remaining cabs, and Marissa and Suzanne into the other one. Before they can leave, the remaining teams are ready to go too.
Caption: KATE and ETHAN: 10th to Depart: 11:08 PM
KATE: Well I'd never name a place after some dumb lizard.
ETHAN: Hey, lizards make me think of Lizzie! Cool!
KATE: Don't even mention that loser in front of me…
Caption: KEITH and TAMMY: 11th to Depart: 11:09 PM
TAMMY: All right, we're last, but we're not too far behind. Look… there are a couple of cabs, but they seem to be already leaving. Hey… is there room for us in there?
MARISSA: Well, you're not in our alliance, but you're not part of that group of teams that all know each other… I think we can trust you. Get in!
KATE: Hey, our team was here first… Now, that's just not fair! (pouts)
(The cabs leave, leaving Kate and Ethan behind with no cabs to take.)
At the nightclub
LIZZIE: That's good… this place is open, and it's only been open a few hours… that means we're not that far behind the other teams. Let's see what we need to do.
Receives clue
LIZZIE: "Willing to serve"? Well, that doesn't sound like it involves eating any lizards. I'll do it.
CONNIE: I'm going to take this one… my mom can't monopolize everything. I'm a store clerk; I'm better at serving.
KELLY: My turn to take this… I'm Kelly, by the way, in case you can't tell us apart.
SUZANNE: And it's my turn too. I'm a cocktail waitress… serving is what I do!
MARISSA: Well, so am I, in case you forgot…
SUZANNE: But, since you did the last roadblock, it's still my turn.
(Back at the pit stop)
KATE: Come on… somebody call us another cab!
Commercial Break
Intermission: The McGuire House
"Fame is rough," said Miranda. "Lizzie has had some past experience with it, but I haven't. All last week, people were looking at me funny because I was on TV."
"You sure you don't need my services as manager?", asked Matt.
"I think we can manage ourselves," said Lizzie. "But, anyway, have you managed to discover all the secrets of the race like you said you would?"
"I'm still working on it," said Matt. "I don't know who won… yet… but I did find some people in an Internet chat room who reported that there seemed to be some Amazing Race-related activity a while back in the country of Djibouti. So, is that one of the places you went through?"
"I can't confirm or deny anything," said Lizzie. "Remember, there's a strict confidentiality agreement."
"Shake, shake, shake… shake shake shake… shake Djibouti…" sang Matt.
"All right, you guys," said Sam. "The show's about to start again… Jo said she's tired of getting you people to shut up, so she's asked me to do it this week."
TO BE CONTINUED
