Author: BlackHeartedRebel

Disclaimer: I own nothing, it all belongs to Jerry Bruckheimer and his band of merry men and women. I borrowed the lyrics at the beginning from my favourite country singer and star of one of the best sitcoms around, Reba McEntire.


Looking back over the years
Of All the things I've always meant to say
But words didn't come easily
So many times through empty fears
Of all the nights I tried to pick up the phone
So scared of who might be answering

You try to live your life from day to day
But seeing you across the room tonight
Just gives me away

'Cause the heart won't lie
Sometimes life gets in the way
But there's one thing that won't change
I know I've tried
The heart won't lie
You can live your alibi
Who can see you're lost inside a foolish disguise
The heart won't lie

Only Us

Every day, you see her, you wave, and you work alongside her. Sometimes, in the early morning light, you smile at her sleeping eyes and kiss her forehead, only to quietly slip out like you promised. She claims that you do an excellent job… but you're confused constantly, as to which she means. Your career…or the things she lets you do to her. You love her so incomprehensibly much, and since that incident over a month ago… you've learned to accept that she will never feel the same. Just so long as you get to touch her, you could survive on lust, if there was even that.

It is love, right? When you look at someone, and you tingle…but when they look back at you, you burn. Your body catches flame when she stares back, even if it's an angry glare telling you to look away…or hurry up. You hope over and over again for the day to come where she will let you move slowly, enjoying the feeling of her skin more thoroughly. But it never will. She has her own life, no matter how seemingly empty and unhappy it is, she will always have it, and you will never have her.

You snap back to your unwelcome reality as the door of her SUV slams, and she steps out, her heels clicking on the wet pavement. She's wearing her black suede boots that she usually wears for more formal gatherings and meetings. You glance behind you quickly to confirm your observation. You must have interrupted something important with your page, and you fear for yourself as you remember that it wasn't all that important. Her help wasn't needed all that much, you just wanted her company. You stand up quickly, brushing fingerprint dust off of your black jeans, leaving neon pink streaks in its wake. You decided to spice things up a bit with new powder because you were bored with everything being standard.

To your surprise she doesn't look angry. Just… tired. You smile weakly at her and quickly think of an apology.

"Hey… sorry about this, did I interrupt something important?"

She sighs and rubs her eyes. "No, not really. I was just busy being stood up, and looking pathetic sitting all alone."

Don't be hurt. You can't be hurt. You chant to yourself. You're not supposed to care about her sex life, even if you're sometimes a part of it. It's none of your business anyways.

"Loser." Is all you say, referring to the man that stood up this humanly work of art.

She scoffs at you. "Well thanks, that's just what I needed."

You turn crimson as you realize she thought you meant her.

"No, no… I meant whoever it was that stood you up." You say quickly and her scowl eases up slightly.

"I'm sorry." You add for good measure.

"Why? Just another one of Nick's drunken frat boy buddies I suppose."

"He doesn't take no for an answer, that one." You look down, feeling embarrassed at how old you sound.

"Yeah. So, is anyone else here?"

"No. Only us."

"What do you need help with?" She asks, and you could swear her eyes darkened. You knew what that meant, and most nights it meant a good thing for you. But tonight you were afraid. You were afraid that you may not be able to hold back the tears, and you were terrified that you might say it. Three short words that could ruin your entire life. She was your life, and you knew that if you said them she would leave you.

"Not anything really… sorry. While you were coming I finished up." You expect a growl of some sort, but she just raises an eyebrow suggestively at the end of your sentence. You blush again and apologize once more. You realize only now that you've gotten into the habit of feeling embarrassed and apologetic around her lately. You've been walking on a razor's edge, terrified of any single thing that could go wrong.

She looks around, and then steps forward, wrapping her arms around your waist.

"I love you." She whispers, and it feels like a dream.

When Grissom taps you on the shoulder and you feel the drool on your arm you realize it was. You want to cry so badly.

"Catherine. Wake up. You need so go home and get some rest." He says in his scientifically monotone voice.

You nod and sit up, running tired shaky hand through your blonde hair, yawning.

You grab your keys and put on your leather coat, grabbing your purse on the way out of your office. As planned, she stood, leaning on your SUV with her arms crossed. She's staring up at the full moon and you think about the stories your grandmother told you when you were young. Full moons are magic, she always said, and they make wishes come true. You wish yours would.

"Sorry I'm late." You apologize and stop just in front of her, staring down at her shoes. Black suede, just like your dream. "I hope you didn't have somewhere to be." You say quietly, acting very much out of character, you notice.

She smiles at you, which is rare for her, especially lately.

"It's okay. I'm sure I would have been stood up anyways."

You look up, sensing something a little strange about this situation. You may be dreaming again but you're not sure.

"Want some breakfast?" You ask, smiling as you walk around the side of the truck, unlocking the door with the remote. You both get in at the same time and you put the key in the ignition.

"Depends. Who's going to be there?" She asked gently, leaning her head against the headrest. Her eyes drooped a bit, and you saw that there would be no expectations tonight. No pain.

"Only us." You quote. It sounded nice when you heard her say it.

She smiled and you drove off, hoping she would forgive you eventually for leaving her in that hotel. It was the hardest thing you had ever done in your life, but you needed to know if she needed you nearly as much as you did her.

A/N: Finito.