Author: Kristina Q.
Disclaimer: None of these characters belong to me sigh but if they did I sure as hell wouldn't complain giggles
Distribution: Anywhere you want just drop me a line.
Warning: This fic contains profanity and male/male slash.
Rating: PG-13.
Couple: Jesse James/Chris Jericho.
Notes: Changes POV.
Jesse
I don't know what's gonna happen today. Everything's been so weird since the other night. That kiss. I've been thinking and thinking for the past couple of days and to be honest then I really don't know if the kiss meant anything.
It meant something to me however. It meant everything. Everything!
There's nothing left to do than to ask him how he feels. He has to be here somewhere. I just don't know where.
Cautiously I push the door to my locker room open and leave determined to find him and tell him my true feelings, desperately hoping that he feels the same as I do. It's now or never. All or nothing.
As I walk down the hallway I see Billy not far from me. I will just ignore him and hope he doesn't notice me. I don't need to think about him now. I don't want to think about him. I have someone else on my mind! Hopefully he will treat me with more respect than Billy ever did!
I just pass him like I don't know he's there and luckily he doesn't see me. I let out the breath I realize I was holding. Why does he make me so nervous? I don't love him anymore. Not after what he did to me! He broke my heart.
I don't know. Somehow he makes me a little frightened. Maybe because I don't know how he feels about me. When we were together he was very possessive! I wasn't allowed to go anywhere unless he was with me. And sometimes if I did something he didn't like then he hit me.
I remember one day showing up in the locker room with a huge bruise on my cheekbone. Sean had been wondering how I got it and he had asked me. I simply told him I had walked into a door. The worst excuse ever! And I don't think he bought it. Sean somehow must have thought he shouldn't stick his nose in in my private life and my relationship with Billy.
I am a grown man so I should have been able to realize how wrong it was. That the love I had for him was not returned. What he felt for me was pure jealousy. And then of course there was the sex part! He used me to get some. He didn't want me to be around other. Only wanted me for himself! He didn't love me. Maybe he did in the beginning. I don't know.
I shouldn't even be thinking about him now. I should worry about Chris since I can't find him. Where the hell is he? He must be here somewhere! I'm not sure if I should ask someone if they know where he is.
Anyway my relationship with Billy was wrong from the beginning. I just don't know how I could have been so naïve! Why didn't I see it coming? I should have opened my eyes instead of pretending it would all be alright in the end. It was never alright! It would never be alright! That's just how our relationship was. It was all just fucked up!
I'm suddenly being brought back to reality when I bump into someone. "Oh, sorry…" I mumble and continue without even looking at the person, "Jesse?" I hear the most wonderful voice and feel a warm hand on my shoulder.
Is it him?
I can feel a strange indescribable feeling course through my body. A warm tingling sensation! I slowly gaze up, feeling my lips curl upwards when I'm drowning in his sparkling eyes. It is him! Chris. Standing in front of me.
He is slightly smiling, just like I am. I can't stop staring at him. "Can I talk to you?" his voice is soft and comforting in my ears, and he has me speechless again. I can't talk, so I only nod which causes his smile to widen.
He glances around nervously, searching for possible witnesses and I instinctively do the same thing before he takes my hand in his, warm and gentle, and leads me into the nearest empty locker room. He closes the door behind us, not bothering to lock it.
He motions for me to sit down and so I do. He does the same. As he is sitting in front of me I can feel my hands beginning to lightly quiver. But… is it me or is he also trembling?
Chris
I don't know how to tell him this. For so long I've been waiting for the right moment. It never came. I was supposed to tell him on our so-called date, but I just never had the chance. That was why I kissed him instead and I've been so insecure ever since!
I have a feeling that he loves me. But a part of me keeps telling me that all he wants is to get laid. I'd like to believe the first part and not the second. I refuse to believe he can be like that after what happened in his past relationship.
He has been hurt. I have been hurt. Maybe we can nurse each other's scars. Physically and emotionally. But the most important thing must be the love. If we love each other then that's enough and that's all that matters!
He is just sitting here in front of me, still holding my hand. Refusing to let go. I won't let go of him either. He is the only one I want.
His eyes are full of expectations. Almost glassy. Like he's on the verge of tears. I don't know if it is tears of happiness or sorrow. I hope it is happiness.
I take a deep breath and prepare to tell him my true feelings. Then he suddenly speaks. "Chris… there's something I've wanted to say-" I cut him off with a finger on his lips and he looks almost surprised. So wonderfully beautiful.
"Shhh… don't say anything," I whisper as I look deep into his ocean blue eyes. The room is filled with nothing. Emptiness. Nothing but the two of us. I slowly close the distance between us and I can feel our lips pressing together.
Those soft, moist lips of his. Addictive in flavor but impossible to describe. Nothing is as sweet as his taste. I slide my arm around his waist pulling him closer to me as I indulge in his rich flavor. I carefully part my lips letting him explore me with his slick tongue and I moan into him when I feel his hand cupping the back of my head as he deepens the kiss.
I savor all of him. I don't ever want this moment to end. It's the greatest taste, feeling you could ever imagine. And something deep inside of my heart tells me that he feels the exact same way as I do. This is one of the few moments you can categorize as perfect.
I can now feel something moist touching my cheek. He is crying. Warm little droplets trickling down his cheek, creating a tiny glittering path.
We break the kiss. Looking into each other's eyes. Tears are in the corners of his eyes, only a few escaped. He blinks one single time and now a few more frees themselves and trickles along the path that was created by the first tear.
"I love you," I simply say without any further hesitation. He smiles, his lower lip quivering slightly, and even more tears escape his shining glassy eyes. His only reply is consisting of only four words. Words that tell everything! "I love you too…"
The End
