The cells of Jerusalem were dark that night and eerily vacant, the only sound was the guards gentle snoring. Three prisoners were all there were in the bowels of the jail, Dracus, Barabas, and Autolycus. For the hundredth time Autolycus wished that he had kept his lock picks, that the guard would turn a few crucial inches to the left, and that he didn't get caught. Luck was not with the King of Thieves, that night. The thief casually leaned back in the cell and cursed his luck. In the silent blackness of the cell, Autolycus let his memories consume him.
I can't believe I was caught…if only I hadn't stopped for Dracus. Maybe I am getting soft. What an end to a flawless career, rotting in a cell! Humph, I'd been better off being a banker. That was a lie, and he knew it. After about a week, he found himself being bored by the routine, it was too easy. That and his lovely wife, was more of a nag than a hag of 90. He was better off in the cell, at least it was quiet here, and the bars didn't try to mask what they were…
Autolycus awoke, and found himself crammed against a wall. He stretched and started to work the kinks out of his back. He surveyed the empty cells, and realized there was one more than there should have been. He leaned towards Dracus cell and asked were Barabas got himself to.
A slow knowing smile crept along the brigands face, "Feast of Passover, or at least it was yesterday, so the people are allowed one man released unto them; he was the lucky bastard who got picked."
"Barabas? Wasn't he wanted for murder?" Autolycus stretched, and wondered, was I really out that long?
"Yeah, but apparently he's got nothing on the guy there sending down here."
"Really," Autolycus yawned.
"Yeah, he claimed to be…the Son of God."
"And?"
"Look that's it okay?"
"So? Unless the god's a known Virgin, what the heck's the problem?"
"Look, Do you know who the Israelites are?
"Yeah, nice people, a little odd about food, though. I mean could you live with out a rack of pork ribs?'
"Well you see they believe in only One god, and—"
"What? You mean like a patron god, right? Like the Hestain Virgins…" Autolycus' eyes began to glaze over.
"No NOTHING like the Hestian Virgins. Look they believe that there is ONE GOD, period."
"What! Now just you're just making this up."
"I am well not! THE JEWS BELIEVE THAT THERE IS ONLY ONE GOD!" Dracus' face was a bright shade of violet.
"Fine, only one god no need to shout. But that's insanity. I mean we've met other gods. Hades, Half of them want me dead!"
"What about the other half."
"Well, they want me in b—"
"Don't go there! I do not want to here any of your sexual prowess stories! Ever again."
"You're just jealous, not that I blame you."
"I'm not jealous."
"Sure, your not…anyway, how can the Jews believe this?"
"They claim that our gods are not TRUE gods, because they are not perfect. Theirs is. Apparently."
"And they get away with this? That is amazing."
"You're telling me?"
Guards emerged from the corridor, shoving a man into the cell next to Autolycus' wearing nothing but faded wine stained rages, and a wreath of thorns shoved on his head. The guards cackled, and one shouted, "Gentlemen, we are graced, Two Kings we have with us tonight, On you left we have the King of Thieves, and on your right we have the King of Kings! Let us show our pleasure!"
With that, the guards spat on both of them. The guards laughed, and left the cells joking all the way. The guard on duty wandered down to the end of the hall, and propped his feet up on the table and fell asleep again.
"What, in Tartarus' name, is their problem! I haven't seen anyone asking for more trouble than when Jason declared his vault thief proof. So," He said turning to the newcomer," apologies about that. I guess not everyone has manners, I am Autolycus King of Thieves, and you are?"
"You seem quite proud over that fact, Autolycus, but I'm afraid I have never heard of you."
"Never…never heard of me? Me? I stole the sandals off of Hermes; I took the greatest weapon of the world off the world's greatest tyrant. Helped Hercules with countless tasks, saved the world (nearly ended it too) and you've NEVER heard of me?"
"Sorry, no."
"Figures. Some world that forgets its heroes…but you never answered my question, who are you? That is if it's not a rude question."
"Jesus of Nazareth."
"Esew is it eh? Nice name. So what did you do, exactly? I mean I heard a rumor, that you said that you were the Son of God. But of course rumors are nasty things. So what do you say you are?"
"A man who tried to do all he could."
"That is a great answer, well we better get some shut eye, we have a long way to go in the morning."
"Wait a minute, Autolycus," Dracus said, "That's it! You giving up."
"Well not 'giving up' just…ending my saga. I would have prefer, going off into the sunset never to be seen again, but this seems, right somehow. Like the world will have to remember me."
"I refuse to be a footnote in your saga! I want out of here!"
"Good luck, and you would have made such a nice footnote."
"Why I aught to…"
"To what? Your in a cell remember? In any case, its perfect. Autolycus, King of Thieves, caught after doing a noble deed, and thrown unjustly into a cell, in the prime of his youth…"
"Prime of your youth? Your older than my great-gre--"
"Cool it smart guy."
"But, you were with the Argonaughts, that was—"
"A while ago I'd admit, but hardly that long ago. Now if you know what's good for you, stop."
"Why you're in a cell remember?" Dracus sneered. Autolycus shrugged, and sat down to sleep.
The butt of a spear slammed into his side, and he howled with pain. "Get up your majesty time to start your day." Autolycus' arms were pinned to his sides, and were dragged to the courtyard; Jesus and Dracus were right behind him.
The cross was heavy, and poorly crafted, the splitters cut into Autolycus' had, and Dracus had already paused to pull the pieces out of his hand. Jesus did the same. The guards pushed them on, somewhat unkindly, "What does it matter if you have splinters in your hands? You will be dead within two days anyway."
The trio walked on. Down the ragged road to Calvary, people lined the streets to see them, some were shouting, and some threw rocks. Autolycus ignored them, and placed his focus on his feet, after along while, he became aware of sobbing. He lifted his head; Jesus' shoulders were shaking as he fell. The guard leading the ragged procession signaled two of the guards to pull him up. Suddenly a woman rushed out to help Jesus. Autolycus gathered it was his mother. Dracus snapped at Autolycus, "You love an audience, make your escape! Bring me with you while you're at it."
"Would you have me leave him here?"
"No," Dracus said taking a step back.
"Then shut up," Autolycus took the moment to rest his load on the roadside.
In a few moments they were off again. Down the long road to Calvary. Dracus began to hum a tune, and Autolycus picked up on it, after a while so did the guards. Jesus remained silent.
