Thanks so much for all the reviews!

Some people are getting a little annoyed with Brooke and her actions. I can totally understand why, but just remember she had her heart broken really badly, and she doesn't want to get hurt again, so she's got a lot of feelings to deal with. Just bear with her (and me)! I hope I can balance being realistic without losing too much BL.


"Anyway, I don't see why it's such a big deal," Brooke said, coming out of her bathroom. Peyton was trying on a top in front of her mirror; it was Saturday morning and they were about to go out.

Peyton pulled of the top and threw it back on Brooke's bed, giving her a look, "It's a big deal because when you're boyfriend wins a basketball game, you should hug him first. Not your ex."

"But Lucas made the game winning shot! So I was just…saying well done."

Peyton rolled her eyes, "You would have found it weird if I'd hugged him and not Jake though."

"Whatever, all I'm saying is Josh didn't need to get all crabby about it."

"I thought you said he didn't make too big a fuss?"

"Well not really, but he was kinda cold all evening, I could totally tell he was pissed off."

Peyton nodded absently and continued looking through Brooke's closet. She pulled out another top and turned round, and saw that Brooke was now sitting on the edge of her bed chewing her nail.

"What's up?"

Brooke looked up. "Pey…am I a horrible person?"

Peyton sighed, "No sweetie. You're just confused." She came and sat down next to her, and wrapped an arm round her shoulders.

"I'm just hurting Josh…and Lucas, and all because I can't figure out my feelings?"

"Brooke you shouldn't feel pressured to make anyone happy, you should do what you want. Just maybe…" she hesitated, "If you're going to be with Josh then you need to stop thinking about Lucas."

Brooke nodded slowly, "You're right…Ugh!" she collapsed back on the bed, "I need to think more. Seems like I've been doing a lot of that recently."

"Makes a change," Peyton joked, and Brooke glared at her. Then she smiled and sat up, "But today is our day, and I'm not going to spend the whole thing worrying about my messed up love life."

Peyton smiled, "That's my girl. Come on, you ready?"

"Yup, lets go."

Brooke and Peyton were going to spend the morning at the mall, shopping, because Brooke had complained that in the past week Jake had been hogging her best friend. Although he was of course perfectly justified in doing this as Brooke had had her to herself for weeks while he'd been away, Peyton had agreed to save Saturday for a Brooke day.

"What do you think of this?" Peyton held up a black lacy bra for Brooke's inspection.

"Okay, what is going on? Did we just slip into some kind of reverse universe? First, I'm the one struggling to work out my tortured love-life and then you're shopping for lingerie without me even asking you too! Wow…think really have changed around here P.Sawyer."

Peyton laughed and Brooke smiled. "I want to get something new…for Jake," Peyton explained.

Brooke rolled her eyes, "But of course. Go put it on and we'll see," she said, shoving Peyton into a changing room.

Brooke leant against the opposite wall while she waited. Her eyes wandered aimlessly across a rack of other bras and stopped on a dark red lacy one. Before she could stop herself, the thought had popped into her head: 'Lucas would like that'. She had one a bit like it, and could remember exactly his smile when he'd first seen it, his little moan of approval, and his voice when he'd murmured "very sexy."

Her thoughts were broken off as Peyton pulled open the curtain to her dressing room. Brooke blinked and shook herself, but Peyton didn't seem to notice. "So, what do you think?" she asked.

Brooke smiled, "Very you. Jake will love it."

"You think?" Peyton looked at herself in the mirror, tugging on her lip with her teeth.

"Definitely."

Peyton allowed herself a small smile, "Cool." She turned to Brooke, "Are you going to get anything?"

Brooke hesitated, "Um…yeah." She reached out for the red bra, "Let me just try this on."

Peyton looked at it briefly, "Kay, cool. Don't you have one a little like that?"

"A little. But you can never have too many, right?" She grinned before slipping into the changing room.

She tried on the bra, knowing it would fit, and checked her appearance. Even she had to admit she looked hot. But still it didn't feel right. She crossed her arms over her chest and leant against the wall.

Sighing, she ran a hand through her hair. She felt so conflicted inside herself; whenever she allowed her thoughts to stray only one picture came to her; one voice floated though her mind; one name filled her heart: Lucas. So why was she still confused?

She unclipped the bra and changed back into her own. Slipping on her top once more she looked in the mirror again. Her eyes glistened and she blinked once or twice before leaving changing room.

"Are you gonna get it?" Peyton asked.

Brooke looked at it, and then smiled, "Yeah."

"Great!"

They made their way to the counter and bought them, leaving the boutique with matching bags. Peyton glanced over at Brooke, "You okay?"

Brooke leant her head on Peyton shoulder, "Yeah."

Peyton wrapped an arm round her, and kissed the top of her head, "Good."

They walked towards the exit; they were going to grab some lunch somewhere else. Peyton stopped to get a CD as they passed a record store, but Brooke waited outside, looking through the window of a clothes shop next door.

She was just admiring a dark blue dress when a reflection caught her eye; the messy blonde head was very familiar…

She turned round and saw that sure enough it was Lucas. She watched him head towards one of the little cafes in the mall, and stop at one of the tables outside, where…Hannah was sitting.

Brooke felt her throat tighten as Hannah stood up to kiss him briefly in greeting. He sat down with her and picked up a menu, and Brooke turned round quickly, not wanting him to see her.

She had no problem with Hannah really; she seemed perfectly sweet whenever they had a shift together at the café…it was just…she wasn't quite ready to see Lucas kissing other girls. In fact, she wasn't sure she would ever be ready…

"Hey, ready to go?" Peyton came out of the store carrying a bag.

"Um…yeah. Lets go." Brooke linked her arm through Peyton's and left, sparing one glass over her shoulder at Lucas before they were out of the mall.


Peyton was worried about Brooke. It was late Saturday afternoon, and she had just come home, having departed from Brooke's house after they'd had lunch and hung out a little more. Now she was lying on her bed; thinking.

Brooke came across as being bubbly and fun; and she was. But obviously, nobody could be in a good mood the whole time, and so sometimes Brooke would get down but people wouldn't notice because they were so used to her being an upbeat, confident person that they didn't realise sometimes she hurt too.

Peyton noticed though, and most of the time, Brooke let her in, and when she was upset she let Peyton took care of her and helped her. But recently, she had been shutting her out. Peyton knew she was hurting and confused about Lucas and Josh, but she wouldn't talk about it. Apart from the few moments such as the time that morning, Peyton was sure she was trying to hide it.

She didn't want her to hide it though, she just wanted to be able to help her. Peyton picked up the phone and called Haley, maybe she could help.

Haley heard the phone ring, and called to Nathan, "Nate can you get that? I'm doing homework."

"I'm in the middle of a game!"

"Well that's why they made a pause button!"

She heard Nathan make a disgruntled sound and the ringing stopped. She smiled to herself, and continued typing.

"Hello?"

"Hey Nate, It's Peyton. Is Haley there?"

"Yeah sure, she's doing homework though and I think she's finding it a little confusing so can I get her to call you back? You know how she really needs to concentrate to understand that math stuff," he joked.

"Give me that," Haley came up behind him and took the phone, shaking her head, "I am not finding it confusing I just didn't want to answer the phone cause it might not have been for me," she glared at her husband who laughed. "Anyway, what's up Peyt?"

"I'm just calling cause I was thinking about Brooke…and I was wondering if we should maybe do something."

"About her and Lucas?" Haley asked, guessing what she was worrying about.

"Yeah…Hales, I don't know what to do. When she talks about it I never know whether to tell her to get on with it and go back to him already, or just to be sympathetic and let her figure it out on her own."

"We need to let her figure this out on her own Peyton. She has to get over everything that happened before, otherwise it'll always be in the back of her mind, and he'll always be wondering if she's really forgiven him."

"Yeah, I guess you're right. I just want to see her to be happy so much…and I guess, when she goes back to him…it'll mean she's forgiven me too," Peyton said quietly.

Haley was saddened by her tone, "Peyt, she has forgiven you. You're her best friend, and she knows you would never risk your friendship again. Just be there for her right now, for whatever she needs, but don't push her. I know you want to just put all this behind you, and she does too, she's just taking a little time."

Peyton nodded, and Haley heard her sniff slightly, "Yeah. Thanks Hales."

"No problem. Now how about we have a girl's night tonight? Maybe you guys can extend your Peyton-Brooke day to a Haley evening too."

Peyton laughed, "Yeah, sounds great. How about you come over here in about an hour, I'll call Brooke."

Haley smiled, "Great. See you then."


"What do you think goes on in guy's heads?" Brooke asked. The three of them were sitting on the floor in Peyton's living room. Brooke was leaning against the edge of the couch, a pot of Ben&Jerry's resting on her stomach and a spoon in her hand. "I mean, do you think they're like us at all? Or is there something totally different happening in there?"

Peyton chuckled, "I don't know. They're pretty different; I can't exactly see Jake, Nathan and Lucas sitting round in their boxers eating ice cream and talking about all of us."

Haley burst out laughing at the thought.

"Hales! You wrecked it. I had a nice mental image going there!" Brooke exclaimed, causing Haley to laugh more.

"But seriously," Peyton said, "I guess they can't be too different."

Brooke nodded slowly, "Yeah, I guess."

"Speaking of guys," Haley said tentatively, "How are you doing about…everything?"

"You mean Lucas?" Brooke asked bluntly.

"Well…yeah."

Brooke shrugged, "I've kind of given up thinking about it. Seeing as every time I do I drive myself crazy. I don't know what to do anymore."

Haley and Peyton looked at each other hopelessly.

"Is there any way we can help?"

Brooke smiled, "Thanks guys, but I don't think so. I think I'm going to talk to Josh, try and work things out. Maybe if I stick to my original plan it'll get easier."

"Yeah," Haley said comfortingly, "I'm sure it will." She glanced at Peyton again, who looked down. In fact, she wasn't sure at all.

On Sunday morning Peyton was awoken by a knocking on the door. Disentangling herself from a pile of blankets she stood up and stretched, traipsing out into the hall and opening the door.

Jake, Nathan and Lucas came through, greeting her with cheery 'good mornings' while she shielded her eyes from the bright light now flooding through the door.

"Wow, you guys really trashed this place," Jake said, as he came into the living room. The floor was covered in pillows and duvets, and there were pieces of popcorn everywhere.

"Well since you're here you could help us clear up," Peyton said, smiling sweetly.

"Um, yeah, I'm gonna be leaving now," Lucas said, chuckling, and Nathan made to follow him.

"Nate?" Haley had woken up and was looking up at the guys.

"Morning baby," Nathan said, turning back from the door and sitting on the couch by Haley. Lucas rolled his eyes but came back too, sitting down on the couch as well. Jake and Peyton flopped down in one of the big chairs and they all started talking.

A groan came from one corner, "Could you guys keep it down? I'm trying to sleep over here," Brooke voice came from beneath a pillow.

"Brooke it's like ten thirty! Get up already," Nathan said.

Brooke pushed herself up on her elbows and glared at Nathan, "It's common courtesy to let people sleep till at least eleven when they've had a sleepover the night before. I guess guys were never taught these rules."

Nathan laughed, "No I think we missed that class. Must have been when they gave you guys the whole 'you'll be experiencing some changes with your body' bit."

Brooke laughed despite herself and sat up, running a hand through her hair to tame it. "So what are you guys doing here anyway?" she asked.

"I don't know," Nathan said, "Jake was coming over and we just decided to tag along."

"See this is what happens when we're not around," Haley said, laughing, "You just turn into a bunch of sheep!"

Peyton laughed and Nathan gave her a look.

"So what are we going to do today?" Jake asked, and they started discussing it. While they were talking Brooke stood up, wrapping a comforter round herself and going over to the couch, where she sat against the edge of it, leaning against Lucas' legs. He rested a hand on her shoulder and squeezed it gently, and she leant her head against her head against his knee.

"What are you doing today?" he asked her after a minute, while the others were arguing between various movies that were showing.

"Um…I think I'm seeing Josh."

Lucas nodded, "Right."

She glanced up at him and her met her eye, giving her a tight smile. Brooke leant her head back against his knee, suddenly feeling less sure of her decision.


But in the end Brooke stuck to her decision. She was going to go and see Josh, and talk to him. He deserved better than a half-hearted girlfriend, so she was going to try better. She had been the one to decide that she and Lucas needed some time apart, so she shouldn't be thinking about him. She was going to do this properly.

And that was how she and Josh had ended up watching a movie on her couch, with his arm round her, sharing a bowl of popcorn. Josh had waved away her apologies, saying he understood it was hard to let go, and he was glad she was ready to be with him. Brooke had ignored the large knot that twisted in her stomach as he said these words.

"Do you think Sean William Scott had to have special training for this?" Josh asked, laughing, as the actor danced around on screen in American Pie 3.

Brooke laughed, nodding, "Probably for weeks!"

Josh wrapped his arms round her a little tighter, and ran his fingers along her arm, rubbing it lightly.

"Hey what's this?" he asked.

Brooke looked down, "What?"

His fingers slipped between her wrist and her charm bracelet. "This."

"My charm bracelet, you've seen it before."

"Yeah, I know, but what's this?" he was pointing to one charm in particular: the silver heart.

"Um…it's just one of my charms."

"With an L on it?"

"Lucas gave it to me," she said, her voice almost inaudible.

"Why do you still wear it?"

Brooke shrugged, trying to look like it was no big deal, "I don't know. I never take stuff off."

Josh stood up, forcing Brooke to stand up too. The movie continued playing in the background.

"Why is it such a big deal?" Brooke asked.

"Because you still wear a bracelet with your boyfriends initials on it! Look Brooke, I like you, I really do. But whenever I'm with you it's like everything's connected to Lucas! Tattoos, bracelets, nicknames…you say you guys are over but your obviously not! I can't deal with this stuff anymore!"

"Well then you'll just have to find yourself a virgin who's never had a boyfriend! Because everyone's got history Josh!" Brooke said, her voice rising.

"If all he is to you is an ex-boyfriend, then prove it. Don't see him anymore."

"What?" Brooke was stunned.

"If he's just like any other ex-boyfriend then it shouldn't be too much of a problem not to see him," Josh said more calmly, "I don't want you to see him anymore."

"Josh that's ridiculous, he's not just my ex-boyfriend, he's my friend."

"But he's not just a friend is he?"

Brooke didn't know what to say. "You can't make me chose between you and Lucas."

Josh was silent, looking at her, "You've already chosen."

He turned and left. As he'd expected, she didn't go after him.


Brooke wandered onto the Rivercourt, where Lucas was shooting hoops. It was Sunday evening and the light was beginning to fade.

"Hey," he said, catching the ball and tucking it under his arm.

She smiled in reply, and went and sat on the picnic table.

"What's up?"

"Nothing much. Don't let me stop you…I was just thinking about some stuff and…wound up here."

"It can do that to you, this place. I always find myself coming here subconsciously when I need to think."

She nodded, looking at the ground. He came over and sat next to her, setting the ball down on the table.

"So you wanna talk about anything?" he asked.

She hesitated, and then said, "Josh and I broke up."

His eyes widened very slightly, "Oh."

Brooke stole a glance at him, and then looked down again.

There was silence for a second and then Lucas asked, "So what happened?"

Brooke looked up and shrugged, "It was never going to last Luke. I was kidding myself; there's no way I should be dating right now."

Lucas digested this information and asked, "So you broke up with him?"

"Um…well he left…I didn't go after him. He saw my bracelet and I guess it was all just too much."

"Your bracelet?"

"The charm."

"Oh," Lucas nodded once. "Right…I'm sorry."

Brooke gave a low chuckle, "No you're not."

Lucas smiled, "Fine, I'm not. But I would be if I thought you were upset about it."

The corners of Brooke's lips twitched.

"See, you're okay."

She smiled properly, "Yeah, I'm okay."

They sat in silence for a few minutes, and Brooke sighed and leant her head on Lucas' shoulder. Lucas kissed the top of it and wrapped an arm round her. He looked across the court, thinking of all the times they'd sat there together in the last year, and remembering the day when he'd kissed her there and she'd said 'okay'.

He was broken out of his reverie by Brooke burying her head in his shoulder, and he looked down at her to see tears running down her cheeks.

"Hey, hey, what's wrong?" he asked, his voice gentle.

She shook her head and buried it further into his shoulder, not answering.

"Brooke, come on, talk to me."

She looked up at him, "I can't talk to you," she said, her eyes sad, "You're the one person I can't talk to about this and the one person I want to. I've got…all these…stupid feelings," her voice broke as she choked on the works, "and I can't talk to you about them because…they're all for you."

Lucas' heart broke to see her so torn up, and he wished he could just make it all go away. But he couldn't, so instead he just held her. Eventually her breathing evened out as he rubbed her back soothingly.

"What are we going to do Broody?" she whispered.

He tiled her chin up to look at her, and wiped away a tear with his thumb. He held her gaze for a minute and then looked away, shaking his head, "I don't know."


PLEASE REVIEW! And I'll try and get the next chapter up soon, I have a feeling you guys are going to like it…