A/N: Thank you to everyone who's reviewing. Long or short, every review is good encouragement. Keep that in mind if you want to spur me to edit and update quicker. ;-)

So, we're closing in on the big finale... or are we?


CHAPTER 16: HARDER AND HARDER TO BREATHE


Just twelve hours or so later, Buffy and Giles walked into Sunnydale General. Buffy was planning on visiting her sister and be with her until sunset in a little over an hour, and then she was up for an Angelus hunt. The final Angelus hunt… Well, actually, 'up for it' was the last phrase that came to mind. She was everything but up for it. Even after everything that had happened, she didn't want to kill him. But… so many people, innocent people had died. No one was sure if there was a way to ever bring back Angel. It was her duty to do this. Her duty to her friends… to the world… and to Angel. He wouldn't want this either.

But before she went out and did it, before she went out and put her life on the line for the greater good, she wanted to see her sister. Little Dawn, she was still in a coma – stable at the moment, but still close to death. The doctors had said days ago that she could wake up at any time but still there hadn't been any change. In fact, just recently her vitals had dropped and she had suffered respiratory arrest. After that they had been forced to put her in a respirator to help her breathe and things weren't looking too good.

The doctors had explained that with such substantial blood loss that Dawn had suffered due to her "animal attack", every minute was precious. Those minutes before the ambulance came had been hard on her system. Too hard on her system, Buffy knew that they meant even if they didn't say it. When she came under care she had been given several transfusions and supplements of different kinds, but for some reason it didn't seem to help her.

Buffy stopped outside her sister's room, glancing warily at Giles who had driven her to the hospital. She was pretty sure he felt guilty for putting her through having to kill her own mother and not being there… Giles cared about her, and she was thankful for that. She knew that if… if she fell in the fight against Angelus, he would take care of Dawn.

"Uhm… Do you want to come with me into her room, or…?" Quiet frankly, this was something she wanted to do for herself. She didn't want anyone in there for what might possibly be her last goodbyes to her little sister.

"You go on ahead. I'll go and get me some – coffee," Giles answered, smothering a grimace. What he really wanted was tea, but he doubted that the hospital had any that was drinkable. Besides, if there was ever the time to drink the tension-inducing bitter beverage, this was most definitely it.

"I'll come by later," he offered, understanding that Buffy wanted to be alone for a bit. The girl had lost so much during the last few days. Now she was about to go out and finish off Angel… she would want some time alone to collect herself.

"Great, thanks." Buffy forced herself to smile a little even though it was the last thing she felt like doing. She went in to Dawn's room and closed the door behind her.

The respirator she was hooked up with hummed along with the rhythmic beeps of the heart monitor. Buffy raised her hand to caress Dawn's cheek. Her skin felt cool. She looked pale, small and vulnerable where she lay.

She looked peaceful in a way, but Buffy knew she was fighting a silent battle against her damaged body where she lay. At first doctors had said that she might not even last through the first night, but here she was proving the professionals wrong. Buffy pulled the chair in the corner up to the bed. She held her sisters hand tightly.

She had killed their mother. How was she supposed to tell Dawn that when she woke up? Maybe she wouldn't even be there to tell her, she thought bitterly. Maybe Giles would be the one sitting at her side… trying to keep her calm while he told her that her family had been obliterated while she was sleeping.

However things went with Angelus, someone was going to have to tell her that their mom was dead because she, the Slayer, had slipped and let her get killed… There wasn't even a body, nothing to put in a grave, nothing that made it real.

Giles had called first thing in the morning and reported Joyce as missing to the police – it was practically standard procedure when someone was turned and slain without anyone ever knowing how they died. That had gone as expected. The police had asked a few standard questions and concluded that Joyce's car was missing, there were no signs of violence around the house, she had a daughter in the hospital – which apparently constituted a justifiable reason for a person to go insane and leave town without a trace. Please file a missing person's report and have a nice day, was the automatonic reply.

The atmosphere had been tense the whole day. They all knew what was to come. Xander and Willow had spent a lot of time together during the day talking quietly; Buffy guessed that he had been comforting her and tried not get jealous and hurt even though she felt very lonely and left out.

Cordelia, Wesley and Gunn stayed together. Giles kept busy the whole day taking care of customers, not wanting to think of the recent events.

Anya had been cleaning the store from top to bottom until everyone practically reflected in the bookshelves and the floors were so squeaky-clean that Giles had to tell her to stop mopping when a customer nearly slipped and fell headlong to the floor.

Buffy had gone home early in the morning, but she had gone back to the shop after only an hour or two. She couldn't rest at home. As soon as she sat down she imagined Angelus getting into the Magic Box, knowing what she planned and taking the opportunity to wipe out the last remains of her life. Not even after sunrise could she rest knowing that they might be in danger.

So she had gone back there and spent most of her day alone, sitting in the dark training room, thinking. The others had left her alone, thinking that she was sleeping, but in fact she hadn't rested her eyes for even a minute. How could she, knowing what she was about to do? What was to come?

Maybe it was the severe lack of sleep she had suffered during the past week – or maybe it was the rhythmic humming of the machinery in the room that made Buffy doze off. Whichever it was, in a matter of minutes, she was fast asleep in the chair next to Dawn's bed, still holding her sister's hand firmly in her own.

Buffy sharply jolted out of her sleep. She looked around, alarms setting off in her head when she realized that she had been sleeping. And something had woken her up. Some loud sound had brought her back to consciousness. She drowsily looked up, still trying to get a grip of reality. How long had she been out?

She glanced at the watch right across the room, but she didn't have time to see it before something else caught her attention.

Right across the bed stood a familiar, tall, dark figure.

"Angel?" she said with a smile, still woozy. It took only a few seconds before the past few days came rolling back at her and swept all the emotions back in one painful wave. She quickly got to her feet in a defensive stance.

"What the hell are you doing here?" she hissed, staring coldly into his amused face.

"Oh, well, I decided to have a little fun. Always wanted to visit a Summers girl at the hospital," Angelus smirked at her.


"And you're sure this will actually work?" Cordelia looked at Willow. She had been happy when the red headed witch had presented her with a way that might very well bring Angel back, but it sounded a little too good to be true. Wesley and Giles both had looked through that book where she had supposedly found the miracle spell that would solve all their problems. She had her doubts.

"Well," Willow began, "as sure as I can get with any new spell without actually trying it. And that is what we should do now. Buffy's at the hospital now and after that she'll go after Angelus. I figure if we do this before she goes after him, either we succeed and Angel is saved…"

"Or we fail miserably, he comes here and rips our heads off for trying?" Xander suggested. He didn't like this. Not at all.

"Or it doesn't work… and then she won't ever have to know. She'll go after Angelus, and…" Willow trailed off.

"Kill him. Hopefully a lot," Xander said. Cordelia shot him an angry look but didn't say anything for once. Instead she turned to Willow.

"Are we ready?" she asked Willow.

"Yeah. Cordelia, you can read from my notes here… when I say a sentence in Romanian, you repeat it in English. Okay?" Cordelia nodded.

"Don't we need one of those Thesulah orbs for this?" Xander inquired, hoping on some level that Willow had forgotten that, and that she would be forced to terminate her project without one.

"No, it's not needed for this version of the spell." Xander simply nodded. Too bad. Willow had been very keen on doing the spell when no one else was there. Wesley and Gunn had gone with Anya, who was picking up a delivery for the Magic Box so they were alone for the time being.


Without another word Angelus lunged at her, but Buffy was too quick for him even in her current weary state. Ducking his first lash she caught his jaw in a roundhouse kick, sending him flying up into the wall across the room. He slammed into the wall with a bang, sinking to the floor. He chuckled.

"Why are you here?" Buffy asked in an angry voice while staying in her stance. She was trying to buy time, distract him. She wasn't stupid after all – she knew all too well why he was there.

"C'mon Buff. You know why I'm here," Angelus replied through suppressed laughter as he stood shakily to his feet.

"Well, I'm having a blonde moment, so you'll just have to humor me," she spat back at him. He advanced towards her again. Just before he got to her she shot her stake up in a somewhat feeble attempt to stake him without actually aiming to do just that. It could have worked on a slower, less experienced vampire. Angelus stopped instantly, blocking her move and whipping the stake from her hand.

"Well, I thought I would teach you a lesson," Angelus aimed a punch that hit Buffy in the jaw. She arched forward.

"Never stop watching your perimeter," he continued. "It's a simple lesson, really. I mean, come on Buff. Sleeping away the day in a chair like some old hag? Where is your fire, huh? Your energy?"

Buffy recovered, wiping blood from her mouth. She looked up at him, meeting his cocky gaze. Oh, that smile. That arrogant, overconfident smile. It enraged her so thoroughly that she was ready to beat him to death right on the spot.

"I was saving myself for you," she hissed as she jumped and hit him hard in the side of the head. He staggered to the side and she reached for her stake, but he was too quick for her. He kicked it away, and Buffy cursed the fact that she only had one on her. The rest of her weapons were in Giles' car in the parking lot.

She grabbed him by the coat and spun him around, her instincts telling her to bring the fight away from Dawn. The room wasn't so big. If either one of them crashed in to the respirator… she didn't dare to think about the consequences. He was sent smacking into the door and Buffy took the chance to retrieve her stake on the other side of Dawn's bed.

Just then she heard a knock and Giles strode into the room, completely unaware of the danger lurking just inside the door.

"Buffy, can I come…" Angelus grabbed him before he had time to finish his sentence. Holding the watcher firmly in place, his back pressed up against Angelus' chest, he pulled out the pocket knife he knew Giles always carried in his breast pocket.

"Damn it!" Giles cursed under his breath, trying to free himself. It took a second to react, and when she did, it was too late.

As she moved towards Angelus and Giles, she saw caught a glimpse of the evil smile that crept across Angelus' face as he swiftly, with an experienced hand dragged the knife across the watchers' neck. Giles' eyes instantly bugged out of his head as he cupped his hands down on the wound. Satisfied, Angelus let him drop to the floor and moved to the side.

Forgetting the fight for a moment, forgetting that a strong slayer would kill the beast before she tended to her fallen watcher, she acted on instinct and threw herself at Giles' side. Desperately she tried to stop the bleeding with her own hands. Giles had lost consciousness and the bleeding was profuse – his face was alarmingly slack and white. Was he breathing? She couldn't tell in her moment of hysteria. Oh, there was so much blood. On her arms, clothes, on Giles, on the floor...

Angelus saw this moment of utter weakness in the slayer and used it to his advantage. Buffy glanced up to see where their assailant had gone, for a moment jolted back to reality when she realized that Angelus might use her position to bring her down… or something worse.

Something much, much worse.

To Buffy's horror he took a step backwards. Never taking his eyes off Buffy, making sure she saw and grasped everything - every move, every expression - he swiftly reached back, smiling evilly, and grabbed a cord that was plugged into the wall.
Using the bloody pocket knife he cut it.

Buffy was pretty sure her heart stopped for a second when she understood what he had just done.

The respirator.

There was a deafening beeping sound as Dawn's heart monitor quickened and then began to fall. For a moment the Slayer's world came crashing down on her. Again. She didn't know what to do, or who to help. Dawn and Giles were both dying in front of her, and she could do nothing to save them. Instead of simply killing on of them, as he could have, Angelus had put her in a situation where she found herself desperate, afraid, and completely helpless.

She had to leave the side of her beloved watcher and let him die, or watch her sister fade away into nothingness.


Xander watched silently as Willow started chanting. She sat cross-legged on the floor in a circle of lit candles, studying the words in her book, concentration deeply to pronounce everything correctly. Oh, how he didn't like this. He didn't like what they were doing, he didn't like that she was putting herself at risk for Angel… frankly, he didn't even like what the outcome would be of the spell succeeded. He was perfectly fine with the prospect of a world without Angel. It would be like… the world without shrimp, only better.

Still, he wouldn't have wanted to be anywhere else. If, God forbid, something happened to her while she was doing the spell… he would be there to help her. He wasn't sure what he could do, besides scream like a woman and send Cordy to call 911… but he was glad he was there.

Willow's eyes turned pitch black, and she spoke the words like she was born for it. Cordelia repeated the phrases in English.

"Nici mort, nici al finite."

"Not dead, not of the living."

"O ushalin zhala sar o kam mangela."

"The shadow moves as the sun commands."

Willows voice grew stronger and power seemed to pulsate out of her.

"Te implor, Doamne, nu ignora aceasta rugaminte."

"I implore you, Lord, do not ignore this request."

"May angle sar te merel kadi yag."

"As this fire burns out."

"Reda trupului ce separa omul de animal!"

"Return to the body what distinguishes Man from the beast!"

"Bater!"

"So shall it be!"

"Tski opre! Tshi opre! Tski opre! Tshi opre!"

"Cannot arise! Will not arise! Cannot arise! Will not arise!"


Buffy didn't know what to do. She didn't know who needed more help, all she knew was that she had to do something, something besides sitting on the floor like an idiot, waiting for things to solve themselves.

She quickly put a towel over Giles' wound and put his limp hand over it. She couldn't do much for him anyway. Angelus remained standing close to Dawn. Buffy leaped to her feet and grabbed the stake she had thrown aside when she headed for Giles. This was it. It had to end here. It occurred to Buffy that an alarm probably had set off the same minute Dawn's respirator went out. Someone would come to her aid soon, and when they did, she couldn't allow them to be greeted by Angelus. She would have to take him out. Now.

She kicked Angelus hard in the chest, sending him reeling backwards. Still smiling he grabbed her with one hand and hit her hard in the face with the other. In any normal case, that punch would have gotten her off balance for a second, but right now she was too furious. She landed a series of hits and kicks on Angelus who didn't get the time do strike back, he simply defended himself – which however, he did well. Buffy didn't hurt him that badly at all.

Angelus kicked her once, but the second time Buffy grabbed his leg and shoved it up, which made him fall hard on his back. This is it, this is really it, Buffy thought as she launched the stake toward his heart. Angelus was harder to kill than that, though. He blocked her move and punched her in the stomach, leaping to his feet.

She struck back, thinking about all those who had died at his hands, all those he had hurt when she went at him again, blocking his moves and giving him a good beating, step by step forcing him backwards against the wall. In a second he would be cornered, unable to get anywhere without going right through her. And that wasn't happening. Not this time.

With a last punch she sent him smacking into the wall, finishing the flurry of kicks with a swift boot between his legs.

A similar scene from years back repeated itself in Buffy's mind. She and Angelus in the mall, she had a chance to take him out and she had backed of. Well, that was then...

This was now.

This evil son – well, sired of a bitch was the reason her mother was dust somewhere in a graveyard instead of alive and well. The reason why Tara lay at the morgue with her neck broken. The reason why Riley was dead. The reason why she heard her sister's heart monitor squealed alarmingly and Giles lay bleeding to death on the floor. The reason that so many families had shattered; her own being one of them this time. Se knew that this is what Angel would want her to do as well. This was what she had to do. As Angelus doubled over in pain, Buffy saw her one chance.

Just as she was about to thrust the stake in to his chest, he gasped and shot his head back in extreme agony. Guess a girl can't understand how it's like to be kickedthere, Buffy thought, bewildered. But the pain didn't stop.

Angelus lurched forward, bracing his hands on the floor, panting heavily. He howled in pain and the action froze for a second. A part of Buffy told her that it was a trick, that Angelus had realized that he was finally screwed, that his chances had run out and that he was playing her – but a part of her screamed to her NOT to go ahead and stake him. Knowing that she might be making a fatal mistake, she backed a step, stake still raised.

Angelus looked up at Buffy and she saw his eyes flash bright for an instant before they returned to dark. His gaze remained on her for a split second before he collapsed on the floor, crying silently – from the pain… or was it from the pain? Buffy just stared down at him, not knowing what to think. He raised himself up and looked her in her eyes. Him? Who, Angel? It wasn't possible. Every inch of her screamed that it was, but it COULDN'T be.

Her whole being was humming in his presence, telling her that this was the right thing, not the sadistic monster but the ensouled champion. It couldn't be true – there was no way. If there had been a way, she wouldn't be standing her, ready to impale him on a wooden stick. He continued to look at her, his gaze soft, confused, hurting.

"Buffy?"

Angel. Unmistakably Angel.