CHAPTER 22: GREEN AND NONJUDGMENTAL


Angel was strolling through the park, looking for interesting things to keep him busy. The meeting with Spike had been unfortunate. 10 to 1 that he'd already been telling Buffy about him… Maybe he should have just staked him on the spot, finally be over and done with his pesky grandchilde.

Or should he? Wasn't it GOOD that Buffy knew what he was doing? Angel groaned. The headache he had been suffering from the whole day had faded, but if he kept this up, it would come back.

He found himself brooding over past sins. He did that a lot, it was nothing new. Walking around in Sunnydale stirred up a lot of memories from '98. He had used those months very effectively, causing as much damage as he could. Usually, it was painful memories that made him feel ashamed. Now, he felt nothing. In fact, some of them were even happy memories.

When he passed the – now burnt out – high school, he'd normally wear a gloomy face when he thought about how he had chased Jenny Calendar through the halls, how he'd scared Willow when he first revealed his identity… How he'd been standing outside, smiling as he listened to the sounds of the police finding Buffy with the dead body of Kendra, that time when his lackeys had ambushed the Scooby gang. Now he didn't. He wasn't thinking completely like his soulless self yet, but he didn't feel guilty anymore. He felt... good. Care-free.

Angel felt himself loosing ground, tapping more and more into the darkness. Maybe it would be easier to let go… Maybe Buffy would kill him if he did. It would be easier, and he would never hurt her again. He almost felt comforted by the thought if finally getting to rest in peace. 247 plus 26 years was a pretty long life, and the last few years of it had been considerably more complicated than ever before. Ending it… maybe it wouldn't be so bad.

He stopped abruptly when he felt the familiar tingle. She was close. He turned around, and there she was. He had a choice here – try to restrain himself, or just let go and see where it took him. He should fight himself. He knew he should, but it seemed so hard. No matter what he did, his soul was loosing, slipping away by the minute. He could feel the demon practically knock down all his defenses, deciding to take over. He leered at Buffy where she stood, tense and watching him warily.

"Hello, Buff…y." Buffy looked somber.

"So, it's Angelus, is it?" Angel didn't even have time to consider fighting the demon anymore. It decided for him as his senses picked up Buffy's scent. All the emotions coming off her, love, worry, discomfort, anger... the smell of her blood and her rush of adrenaline as he took a step towards her. It enraged the furious predator in him, casting the conscience aside for the time being.

"Oh no, not really. I still have a little soul, you see. It's interesting." Buffy raised her stake. "Come one, Buffy. I think we both know you're not going to use that."

"Don't be so sure." She pulled her mouth into a thin line. She desperately didn't want this. Not again. Not ever again.

"Did you deliver the bunch of jerks to the shop safely, hm? Yeah, I saw you. Xander looked pretty scared, why do think that is?" Angel cocked his head, just like Angelus used to do. Buffy didn't fail to notice it.

"Maybe he's just tired of having you lurking in the shadows."

Angel chucked. "Why, when you're escorting him? Xander's female white knight. Hm, seems I said something in reverse to him a few years back. Ah, as I recall, you were in the hospital after a little spat of ours, and he was guarding you like a well trained little pooch."

Buffy clutched her stake harder. "Don't flatter yourself. I wasn't in the hospital because of that little fight. Although, I remember that I managed to knock you flat on your back, even with a serious flu bug. Shall we do a rematch?" Suddenly Angel clutched his head and sank to his knees.

"Buffy…" he croaked.

"Angel!" She forgot his evil remarks for a moment and rushed up to him. "Angel, are you okay?"

He smirked. "I feel just fine."

Getting to his feet quickly he clipped her jaw, which made her stumble back. She recovered quickly and launching herself forward, she grabbed Angel and kicked him in the stomach. She didn't want to hurt him too much… Just disable him so she could take him back to the Magic Box. If he could just hold still long enough for her to hit him with the stun gun… He grabbed one of her arms and swung her around, but she didn't fall, instead she used the extra speed to jump and kick him in the jaw.

She could tell that he wasn't fighting wholehearted. There must be something of Angel left in him, at least. Aiming a kick at his face she took advantage of his temporary reeling; she pulled out the stun gun, quickly moved behind him and attacked. She had to hit him three times before he turned to her, dazed, and slumped to the ground in a heap.

She looked at him sadly. Would this never end? Was this what their lives would be like? No time to think about that now. Buffy grabbed Angel and started hauling him in the direction she'd come from, back towards the Magic Box. Thank god for slayer powers…


"Give me a hand here!"

Buffy was pulling the now semi-awake Angel into the Magic Box. Giles and Xander rushed to her side. Cordelia and Wesley sat at the table opposite a green demon. The Host, Buffy guessed, after that, she had her hands full with a struggling Angel. Or was it a struggling Angelus? At least the Angel-part of him couldn't really be control when he tried to escape, could it?

"Get the tranqualizer," she said to Giles in a strained voice as she tried to keep Angel on the floor. Using sheer strength he managed to get to his feet when Giles released his grip. He shoved Xander back and writhed out of Buffy's grasp. Preparing to make a quick exit he found himself cornered – he wouldn't be able to get away without fighting all of them. His eyes softened for the moment. Buffy hoped that she'd be able to speak to his soulful side and avoid another big fight scene.

"Angel," she started, "please, if you're in there, fight. I don't want to hurt you, but if that's what it takes, I'm gonna have to." Angel looked at her for a moment, and then turned his attention to the Host.

"You…" he said. "What are you doing here?"

"Take it easy, Angelcakes." The green demon got up from his chair and walked towards Angel. "Your friends called me. I hear you are in need of a reading. By the way, you really look fabulous in those pants!" Angel growled.

"Give me one reason why I shouldn't just rip your head off," he snarled.

"He has a thing for 'rip' and 'head' in the same sentence," Xander muttered.

Buffy took a protecting step forward, but the demon stopped her.

"It's okay. Well, be my guest if you feel that you need to. It wouldn't do much good. You see Angel, my species has decapitation loop hole. Anyway, I don't think it's too polite to threaten someone who's giving cred to your choice in clothing. So come on, we want to know how much of a soul you got left in there, that's all."

Angel turned to the rest of the gang and grinned evilly.

"Aw, come one. We don't need any singing for that. After all, a picture says more than a thousand words…" Giles held up the tranqualizer gun and Gunn pointed a crossbow at him with his healthy arm. Angel supposed that it wouldn't do any harm to let them do a soul checkup now, he could always escape later.

"Just pick a song and sing for Lorne," the green demon said and sat back in the chair.

"Lorne?" Angel snorted. "Your name is Lorne? Well, I guess we know why you don't use it…" Everyone except Giles stared at him with blank expressions. Angel glared at them. "Lorne Greene. Bonanza? 15 years on air mean nothing to you people? You humans and your innate stupidity."

"We're waiting Angel," Wesley said from where he sat. "Pick a song." Angel glared at him. Clearly he didn't want to sing, which Buffy hoped was a good sign. She couldn't imagine Angelus being embarrassed to sing in front of them, but then again, who knew? Maybe it was his Achilles' heel.

Angel shrugged in defeat and cleared his throat.

"If you go into the woods tonight, you won't believe your eyes," he sang softly, sending chills down everyone's spines. He locked eyes with Buffy. "If you go into the woods tonight, you're in for a big surprise…"

Cordelia studied Lorne. Was he getting greener? Well, she couldn't tell if it was because of the song Angel picked or because of what he read. However, Angel's singing wasn't at all that bad…Although Cordelia wasn't sure that the improved singing voice was such a good thing, soul wise.

"Okay! That's enough, sugar plum," Lorne said a little nervously. "Heh… so, should I wrap the verdict in fluffy lies, or do you want me to sing like a pretty little bird?"

"Spill," Buffy answered shortly. That song could never be a good sign. A twisted version of Teddy Bear Picnic? Definitely more Angelus' style than Angel's…

"Right." Lorne's bright red eyes met Angel's dark. "There's a little soul left in there all right, but it's loosing ground. I'd say maybe a day or two before it's totally cast out. I also sense an internal struggle, not between our smirking leather clad friend and his non murdering version so much as a battle between the pure demon and the essence of the soul. The demon is becoming very strong."

"Great," Xander said with a sigh. "A stronger, improved version of Angelus? Not my idea of a party."

Buffy crossed her arms over her chest. "Stronger? What does that mean, more physical strength or what?"

Lorne shrugged. "Possibly. I'm not an expert in the area, but I think it's safe to say that when Angelus finally breaks free he'll be even more vicious than before. Uh… Does anyone mind if I skedaddle before he does?" Lorne frowned and smiled a little.

"Actually, Lorne, we would need you to stay so that you can read Angel again later. We can't recurse him until the soul is completely gone and we can't just take a wild stab on when to do it. It seems the orb of Thesulah explodes when it isn't able to transfer the soul and they're real hard to come by," Wesley explained. "We've already ordered one, but I'm not sure there are more than a few others in southern California."

Buffy studied Angel. He pulled out a chair and sat down. Right now he seemed calm and normal, but the person snarling at Lorne had definitely been more Angelus. Buffy moved cautiously towards Angel, pulled out the chair opposite him and sat down. A slight risk for sure, but she was the slayer after all and she was surrounded by people that would assist her if he tried something.

"Angel?" she said softly. He raised his head and looked at her. She couldn't interpret his eyes, they were not really either Angel or Angelus. He looked a little bit like that time when he had pretended to be Angelus to fool Faith.

She remembered that time well, and it wasn't a pleasant memory. He had played his evil version so good at even Buffy almost, ALMOST, had been worried that something had went wrong and he really was soulless. Now it wasn't an act, unfortunately. His demon really was seeping through, and she didn't know if his shifting soulfulness could be trusted.

"Are you okay?" she asked him.

"Sure, I'm fine." He looked down at the table again. Buffy didn't know what to think. Was he desperately trying to fight down his demon, or was he simply busy with figuring out how to kill them all? Buffy sighed.

"So, what do we do now?" Xander's voice. Buffy looked at him.

"What?"

"I said, what do we doing now? Not that me and my concussion isn't enjoying standing here, but I would like to go home. Besides, shouldn't we…" He motioned towards Angel. "…chain him up, or something? Before he goes all Feral Boy?"

"Oh… Uh, I don't know…"

"It's okay Buffy." Angel looked at her. "I don't know for how long I can control the demon… we can't risk anything." Buffy held back a smile. At least he was trying. She nodded.

"Yeah, good thinking."

"I could do a protection spell around the mansion," Willow said. "That way he'd be sealed in without us needing to chain him up." Buffy smiled tiredly at her friend. Some other time she might have taken the energy to tell Willow that there were other ways – ways that didn't include magic of any kind, but right now she was too tired. If Willow didn't seal him in magically, she would have to spend all too much time in the mansion locking him up, making sure he couldn't escape. And she really wasn't up for that.

"Good. Thanks, Will."

"Hey, sugarplum, where does a horned demon set up camp?" Lorne asked.

"Well, you could come home with me," Buffy suggested. "I have a big house, and…. it's not really like I use three bedrooms by myself."

Lorne looked at her, understanding. There was a big vibe coming off that girl. He may never have heard her sing, but he wasn't stupid. That girl had lost so much to Angelus… and still she loved Angel. He found it poetic in a tragic sort of way. Selling a story like that to Hollywood would give anyone the big bucks…

"That sounds great, sweetie," he said softly.

Feeling herself sink back into the dark, cold sadness Buffy quickly shook off the thoughts of her mother and sister. No time for this, not now.

"Okay, Angel. I'll drop you off at the mansion first… Could you drive us, Giles?"

"Of course." Giles picked up a pair of heavy chains and looked emphatically at Buffy.

"Oh, um… Angel, do you mind? You know we trust YOU, but we also know that Angelus could pop out whenever he feels like it." She eyed Angel. At least he LOOKED understanding.

"No problem. I… I couldn't live with myself if I wounded anyone else." He looked at her, lip slightly shivering. Buffy took the chains and Angel held up his hands. She met his eyes and cuffed his right hand.

She should have seen the next move coming.

If she hadn't been busy looking into Angel's eyes, she would have. In a second, his soft features turned to a sneer as he morphed into gameface. With a deft twist, he yanked the chain from Buffy's hand and before she knew what had happened, he'd smacked her with it.

Hard.

Buffy fell to the floor, semi-conscious. In her dazed state she saw the whole scene play out before her – more accurately, above her since she was on the floor. Angel – or was it more proper to call him Angelus now? – used his chain as a weapon and swung it around, quickly putting everyone close to him out of commission. She saw Giles, Cordelia and Lorne falling to the ground, rendered harmless.

Gunn dodged and fired his crossbow. Angel moved quickly and the arrow hit him in the shoulder. He roared furiously, pulled the arrow out and threw it back at Gunn. He just barely made it out of the way.

Angel knocked Xander to the ground. Giles got to his feet and fired his tranqualizer gun, but Angel used his enhanced speed and moved out of his line of fire before he kicked the gun from Giles' hand. Buffy realized that Angel wasn't trying to kill anyone, he was fighting his way to the door. She wanted to tell them to get out of the way, just let him go, save themselves the effort. The question wasn't if he was going to defeat them, it was when, she wanted to tell them, but she couldn't make the sounds come out of her mouth. The world was flickering before her eyes.

She heard Willow scream before she lost consciousness.


"Buffy? She's waking up."

Giles' voice. Good, then at least he wasn't dead… That was Buffy's first thought. Dead. Angel. Angelus. Oh god. She forced her eyes open too quickly and tried to sit up, causing everything to go black again for a second. Giles gently stopped her.

"Take it easy Buffy, we don't want you to faint again." Buffy looked at everyone in the room. They were all there, slightly more bruised than before, but alive and well. Xander was holding his head, Willow held a bloody rag over a gash on her forehead, Lorne tried to pull one of his horns back into place and Cordelia and Wesley had minor bruises.

Anya was the only one in the room that seemed completely unharmed. "There you go, I told you she'd wake up. She's supposed to have super powers, right? I think she would have woken up sooner if you'd poured ice cold water over her though."

"Are you okay?" Giles asked her.

"Fine, I… I don't know how he managed to knock me out like that." Giles smiled a little.

"It was one major smackaroo," Lorne said. "Wasn't much you could do."

"Yes, he took you by surprise, as all of us. I suppose he got in a lucky strike. I think your lack of sleep and hard work the last week could be a contribution as well," Giles commented.

"I guess… Is everyone okay?"

"Well," Xander said, "Someone is clearly viewing my head as a punching bag, but I think I'm fine. I'm tired of being the whipping boy," he muttered.

"Yes," Anya said, "and now he says that we can't have sex when we get home. It's not fair.

Buffy didn't even bother to react to Anya's comment. Before she could say something, Giles spoke.

"I think it would be best if we all got ourselves some rest. We are in no condition to take him on now and it's almost dawn so he… er, Angel, will have to take cover as well. The orb is arriving in a few days, so hopefully... this will all be over soon."

Yeah, right, Buffy thought tiredly. Hopefully. Over. Ended.

Soon.