Title: Shards of My Dream
Author: DnKS - giRLs
Rating: PG
Pairing: TezuFuji (again!)
Warning: erm… do we have to tell he that it's OOC?
Disclaimers: oh, come on, if we own them, we won't be stuck here writing fanfictions!
(A/N : dedicated with our fullest love to our dear Tora Macaw for her supports and reviews and correct answer (sweat) it is such a bless to know you, dear...)
(Fuji's POV)
I love the feeling I get every time we get together. The soft touch of our palms as we walk side by side, even if it's just a brief proximity, can always make my heart beat faster, and faster, and faster, until I can't force it to get back to its regular rhythm.
I love to hear how my name sounds in his lips. Every time he calls me, just two syllables of my name, is enough to send a shiver run down my spine.
I love the sight of his faint smile. Just a small twitch on the corners of his lips, but I believe that's how he show his smile. His eyes grow soft every time he gives me that smile, and I can't ask more than that.
I love him, every single point of him. But he never turn his back to me. His face is always facing the future, and I'm being left behind.
I don't like it. I don't like it when I see his figure starting to walk away from me. I want him to be given to me. I want him to be with me in every single way I think possible. I want him, Tezuka Kunimitsu, but he walks away from me.
I don't like being left behind. I try to grab him. I try to reach him. But every time I walk a step closer to him, he run two steps farther from me. His figure has become something I crave the most. He has become my obsession, my final destination, but he never turns his face to meet me.
Of course, he too never abandons me, because every time I feel so down, he will slower his pace. He will wait for me until I can get in my feet again, and then he will walk away from me, as if he is expecting me to chase after him in eternity.
Let it be. I love chasing after him, since if I have reached him, then I'll have no other reason to strive for. For this moment, let me chase after him. I don't mind if it will take more than my eternal time to accomplish my desire. I have my dream, and my dream is to be together with him.
They say that the power of dream can surpass everything, don't they?
I hold my dream dearly near my chest. I believe in my dream, that someday, he will be given to me, his body, his soul, and we shall have our eternal time, there will be nothing to separate us, not even the end of forever.
Time passes, seasons change, and I still walk behind him with my slow steady steps. I can see him clearer… and clearer… and when I extend my hands, I can almost feel his warmth on the tips of my fingers.
I'm so happy. I quicken my pace, hoping that I'll be able to reach him soon. I can almost see my dream becomes more vivid than ever. I can almost see the future that he always sees. I can almost see infinity.
Almost…
For I never get there.
It's strange how the word 'almost' can change everything. No matter how close I am to him, I can't reach him, because there's the word 'almost'.
Dream can surpass everything, they say, but destiny rules over things. I cannot run from destiny, nor hide myself from it. I see in pain as destiny takes away the thing he holds so dearly from him. I cry in my heart as he drops his racket and falls in the court. I scream in agony as he clutches his shoulder in the middle of his match.
I cry, I scream, not only because of him, but also because in that time, I can feel my dream destroyed to myriads tiny shards.
So, in the end, as his dream has been taken from him, my dream has also been taken from me. I can only see him in pain as he starts to walk away again from me, this time in a path that I know I won't be able to follow. Tennis is the only thing that unites us, and now without it, he and I have become two separate entities without anything between us. Just the empty space in which the shards of my dream are flying with the invisible wind.
I run, but I can't find him. I scream his name, but I get no reply. He has been taken away from me, but I won't let my dream to be taken away from me.
I try to keep the shards of my dream, but destiny laughs at me. I try to grab them, to put them back, but in every piece I keep, there'll be another to disappear. Slowly, and slowly, even I can't find the tiniest shard of my dream. Time has flown them away, sadness has hidden them so well, and destiny is still laughing at me.
The shards of my dream have gone, but I still have the last piece in my hand. It can't be taken away from me, because if it is taken away from me, I'll surely die.
God, please, let me dream a little longer…
I want to dream, I want to disappear, and I want to become nothing, since in nothingness alone can I collect the shards of my dreams.
Please… give me just a little more time to dream. Give me a little more time to keep my memories, my dream, that I know can't be a reality.
I still have the last piece of my dream in my hand. If it is taken away from me, I'll surely die…
So, please, God, let me dream… don't take away my dream as You have taken him away from me.
I have the last piece of the shards of my dream in my hand but it slowly disappears.
I'll give my soul, my everything, but don't take it away from me…
Because if You do that… I'll surely die…
Please… don't take it away from me…
I can only hope. I can only dream. I've tried so hard to keep my dream as I've tried so hard to reach him. In the end, I lost him… and so does my dream.
Infinity has no end but a dream has its limits. In the end of my dream, I cry, but destiny is laughing.
God, please, let me dream
For in dream only can I redeem
Let me forget the pain, the loss
Of something that once I held so close
Please, let me dream a little more
Shall I sleep forever, there's nothing to strive for
The word is so cruel and destiny is mean
In my dream, all of them are unseen
Let me extend my hand, Dear Lord
To collect my dreams over the world
In dream and dream alone I can
Have all these sweet things in my hand
Let me dream, let me disappear
Let me hold the hope that once was so clear
Destiny is mean and the world is cold
Within them, there's noting I can hold
For what I treasure the most
Has gone and to ashes it has lost
In dream and dream alone I can see
My future, my dreams lie before me
So God, please, hear my pray
Let me dream until the end of my day
Then shall I close my eyes forever
And shall I be awaken again never
the end -
(A/N : …………… - are too ashamed to even ask for some rotten vegs)
