Thanks to all the people who reviewed and asked for another chapter! This is the first real chapter fic I've done, instead of just drabbles. I hope I live up to your expectations!
Edward Elric chuckled menacingly. The world was about to learn why it was a bad idea to humiliate the Fullmetal Alchemist. He clapped.
A flicker of Alchemical light brightened the dark building, and Ed crept away into the night.
Ed sauntered into Headquarters the next morning, whistling. He nodded a greeting to Hawkeye and went to check on his trap.
"Breda?" he exclaimed at the person hung upside down in Havoc's office, wrapped in bright pink ribbons and covered in glitter.
"MMF!" Breda responded, through the ribbon covering his mouth.
Ed stomped back down the hall, leaving the poor man whimpering behind him.
"Where is that bastard?" he growled to Hawkeye.
She raised an eyebrow. "The Colonel is in his office."
"Not that bastard, the other one."
"Ah. Havoc hasn't come in today. The last time I saw him, he was asking about the best material to build a bomb shelter.
The blond alchemist started to turn, then looked back. "Hey… You're a girl. How do I get nail polish off?"
"They sell remover at most cosmetic shops," she replied.
He grumbled. "Hell if I'm going in a makeup store."
Ed wandered aimlessly through the halls, wondering what to do next. He couldn't slowly kill Havoc until he found him. He couldn't ask Roy for help, the Colonel would probably just laugh at his predicament. Hughes was out of the question, too.
He was thinking so hard, he didn't notice the other person coming around the corner until it was too late.
"Ow!" He said as they collided, papers scattering from the other man's hands. Then he smiled. "Why, hello, Fury. Fancy meeting you here."
Cain Fury gulped.
Ed was happy. Everything would soon be right with his world again. It had been so easy to get Fury to tell him where Havoc was hiding. He should have thought to look in the supply closet.
He smirked maliciously, highly reminiscent of Roy for a moment, and knocked on the door.
"Fury?" Havoc's voice called, tentatively. "That you?"
"Come out, come out, wherever you are," Ed sang. He cracked open the door and peered in. "Well, well. Lookie who I found."
Havoc nearly wet his pants.
Ed kicked the door the rest of the way open.
Havoc started praying for mercy, his life flashing before his eyes.
A wrench flew out of nowhere and knocked Ed unconscious.
"Oh, Ed, if you'd come home more often I wouldn't have to resort to stuff like this." Winry whined, hauling him off. Or trying to, rather. It's rather difficult to do much of anything with a soldier clinging to your waist, crying and swearing that he owed you his life.
Ed groaned, starting to wake up.
Havoc, much to Winry's surprise, promptly vanished.
"Oww… did you really have to hit me that hard?"
"Oh, be quiet, you big baby. Now hold still so I can get a good look at your auto-" She fell silent. Ed looked at her in concern. Normally nothing could make her stop talking about her precious automail.
"What?" he queried.
"Ed," Winry snarled. "What is this?"
Ed glanced at his automail hand and paled. "Uh… I, uh…" He suddenly felt much like Havoc must have, back in the closet.
"HE PAINTED /BOTH/ MY HANDS?"
So... what thinketh thou? Should Ed get his revenge? Or should I be nice to poor Havoc?
