HEY! It's me again (no duh) See! See! Yet another chapter! See what happens when I totally yield to my inspiration. Major apologies if you guys think this story's going slow, but this is the pace I want it at. I don't want you to know everything about my characters all at once. You're going to slowly be integrated into their lives, and right when you think you understand, another layer will unfold making you completely re-examine your opinion of them. At least, that's my goal. This chapter only very barely hints at some of Kagome's problems. More will come though.

And I'm SORRY! I really can't respond individually to people because first of all, I think it's kinda rude if I write to some and not to others, and second of all if I write the responses before a story, I get out of the mood for the chapter, and if I leave it for later, I always forget. I want you all to know though, I that I read every single review! I even have the people that I wait for, the ones who review every chapter, or the ones who inspire me to stay up late to write. Some of you I seriously almost think of as friends because you write to me like you know me, or you say such wonderfully in depth stuff! Maybe I ought to start e-mailing some of you so you know that, but please know that I'm interested in everything you say!

Okay, and with no more disclaimers, here's the chapter!


She didn't know why she liked walking home in the mornings after a party, but she did. Sometimes it took her nearly an hour, but she didn't mind. The air was cool and crisp; the signs of November colored the scenery, and no one was ever around. There were cars in the streets of course, but nobody else was crazy enough to walk outside at that time in the morning.

Technically, the places she passed weren't pleasant to look at, and if anything, people avoided staring at them for too long, but Kagome liked to watch everything. She was the only one who knew about the secret clubhouse some kids had made of the condemned building, and while she knew it was dangerous, she'd never tell on them. Especially since the old lady next door was getting suspicious of the sounds coming from it. They'd get caught soon enough.

She walked often enough that people recognized her. They didn't know her of course, the only people out were adults on their way to work or elderly couples gardening, but they'd often wave to her and bid her good morning. When she saw their smiles she didn't feel like she was walking in the bad neighborhood, the area where people got beat up, raped, or killed. She knew it was the teenagers, the people her age, that had created the need for such a label, and none of them were around early in the morning, too lazy, or too hung over to bother getting out of bed.

There was a bridge she passed too, so close to her house that she crossed it nearly every morning. It was made of stone, and she loved the sound of her footsteps walking across it. She'd put her hand on the rail and trace the tips of her finger over the hard, cold surface as she passed, sometimes stopping to look over the edge. There was a stream below and some grass poking out from the rocks surrounding it, but other than that, there were no signs of life, nature, or beauty. Still, she was drawn to the bridge, filled with an urge to lean over the edge and just stare. Sometimes she thought about school, home, or work, but often she just didn't think at all. She let her mind fly, dive into the empty air in front of her, and fall for ages. But she always had to call it back. She always had to make her feet move. And she would leave her bridge behind to make the final stretch towards home.

Her house was nice, she knew, one of the ones people would point at when they passed by. Her mom loved gardening and put a lot of work into the upkeep of the yard. Sometimes Kagome thought she loved the idea of gardening more, the idea of being this happy homemaker who takes pride in aiding nature. The obsession with gardening just didn't suite her.

Her parents had already left for work. Both cars were gone, so with relief she let herself in through the front door. A glance at the clock warned her she had only a half hour to get ready if she wanted to be on time for her first class. She headed down the stairs, ready to actually try and be punctual, but stopped before reaching her room and picked up a note hastily scribbled and set on the downstairs counter.

Good morning! Could you do me a favor and do the dishes before you go to school? And if you wouldn't mind straightening up around here a little, that'd be great. Your mom invited some of her co workers over around 5 for dinner.

-Dad

"Sure, no problem." She said aloud, her voice dry. It was funny how their logic worked. Of course she'd have time. She'd just have to do it in the morning before school since she was going straight to work afterwards and wouldn't be home till night. So she'd miss the dinner. Not that she wanted to go anyway, but it was frustrating cleaning up for a get together she wouldn't be at. It wouldn't bother her so much if it didn't happen all the time. But there wasn't anything she could do about it. They knew if they left notes she couldn't argue with them. Total sweethearts, both of them.

She went into her room and unceremoniously slipped out of her clothes and let them land wherever they chose on the floor. Picking up a pair of jeans stretched across her bed, she eyed them contemplatively. Then with a shrug, she slipped them on and grabbed a dark blue tee-shirt. Without a backwards glance, she left her room and went into the bathroom, making a grimace at her reflection. Her hair was a mess, but it didn't look like she'd have time to shower, so she hastily pulled it up in a ponytail, not bothering to even brush it. All her teeth got was a stick of gum lying on the counter.

She cranked the music before starting the work upstairs. It had started as a habit, but it was at the point where she couldn't do anything right without some kind of background music playing for her. She did her best with hard, edgy rock.

She did the dishes. She cleaned. She packed her bag. And she left. The clock mocked her, haughtily informing her of just how late she was. She slammed the door behind her, drowning out the beginning of a new hit song, one she'd connected with the first time she'd heard it. The lyrics and sound played in her head as she made her way to school.

Sometimes I'm barely alive

Her school was close to her house, it only took her a few minutes to walk there. A few of the guys, the kind that were always late, offered to give her rides, but she declined. Knowing them, she'd never end up at school if she'd accepted.

At school the halls were mostly deserted, Yura and a few of her friends were smoking by the bathroom. Kagome nodded at her, and the older girl smirked back. "Last night was good. When did you leave?" It was like a contest to some of them, who stayed the longest, who kept the busiest, who got the drunkest.

Just respond to my greeting

Enjoy our stupid meeting

"An hour and a half ago," she answered ruefully. "I guess I lost track of the time." More like, she needed a place to crash since her parents would hear her if she snuck back, but that was too much information. Sleeping was never as 'cool' as partying.

"Girl," Yura's eyes were wide, approving. "I didn't know you had it in you." She put the cigarette back to her lips and breathed in deeply. Blowing out as if she thought the action was attractive.

"I did." One of the other girls spoke up. Kagome didn't know her name. "She's stayed all night at some of your parties, you were just too drunk to notice." She glanced briefly at Kagome. "I'm Eri." They nodded at each other with little enthusiasm.

These conditions let you thrive

"Well," Kagome shifted her bag from one shoulder to the other. "I think I'm gonna make an appearance in class today. Enjoy yourselves ladies." Her smile was a smirk, the accepted facial expression when people were occupying themselves the way the upperclassmen were.

They didn't say anything and she didn't expect them to. She was nearly a half hour late to her first class, and schooled her features to be apologetic when she entered. "Sorry," She offered. "I was studying late last night and slept right through my alarm. I came as quickly as I could."

"It's fine." Mrs. Ikumo smiled in a gentle way, completely befitting of a teacher. "I know your studies are important to you so I'll let it slide this time."

Right now you look so happy

Content with how you see me

"Oh!" The teacher stopped her before she'd made it to her seat. "I passed back your practice placement tests, here's yours." She handed her a thin packet. "Yours was the best in the class, Miss Higurashi." Her voice was soft, so the other students wouldn't hear. "Congratulations."

Kagome smiled back, accepting the papers. She flipped to the last page on her way to her desk to analyze her results. The best in the class, yes, she'd even scored at the very top of her age group. In the whole school though, she'd barely made it in the top ten.

The sixth best out of five

And just barely pathetic

Numbers always made me sick

Holding on to the smile like a lifeline, she took her seat, flashing the usual people their usual greetings. The teacher continued the lecture, and Kagome took out her notes, ready to get through the class, and through the day.

I don't feel very alive


Work was slow. The lack of customers meant more busy work and Kagome had to wonder if there was anything left she could clean. It figured the work had run out right when her shift ended. Her cheeks were starting to smart from the smile she'd kept on her face for the past few hours, but of course no one could tell. After saying her goodbye's she clocked out.

She'd forgotten to bring a coat that morning, probably because her mind had been on other things. It was dark out, but she lived close. She wasn't worried. Even if it took her an hour to make it home she didn't think she'd be worried. Walking in the dark had never scared her. She'd never been afraid of the bad men that were just waiting to get her. It was probably stupidity on her part, but she couldn't bring herself to care that much. If they came, they came, if not, then who cared?

Ahead, she saw a fight breaking out. She didn't slow down. It wasn't anything special, things like that happened all the time. The best thing anyone could do was just walk by and avoid making eye contact. Easy.

"What's the matter? Aren't you supposed to beat me up?" The taunting was usual, but the voice was colder than any she'd heard before. She could see blood out of the corner of her eye, on the ground, their shoes, everywhere. She steeled herself and kept moving.

The victim was crying. He was probably the instigator, an idiot who thought that he was strong enough to beat one of the big guys, the leaders, the people who had started their violent way of life. She probably ought to feel sorry for him, but she didn't. She thought he'd been extremely stupid.

His whimpers became louder as he struggled to talk. "I . . . I'm," he gasped, his voice high pitched and labored. "I'm sorry, Inuyasha." There was the sound of a fisting hitting something soft and vulnerable. "I mean Taisho!" The words flew out of his mouth, and he didn't seem to care how weak he came across. "I'm sorry." He spat, and Kagome could almost see the blood falling off his lips to the ground in spite of the fact she'd already passed the scene.

Half of her wanted to turn around. Inuyasha Taisho was a well known name, though nobody really talked about him. He was someone you heard about through mutters, a whispered curse, or a bit of gossip too dark to say in a room full of people. He had to be talked about at night, or in a dark corner.

There was more coughing, and she heard the boy's pathetic struggles as the beatings didn't cease. She forced herself to keep walking, to not look back. The Inuyasha Taisho she'd heard about would use any excuse to fight. He had no problems hitting girls, hurting them bad if they bothered him too much. He killed people when he was bored. She knew the rumors had to be exaggerated, at least slightly, but she wasn't willing to test her theory by looking back. Instead she mentally shook herself and kept walking, not slowing until she reached her house.

She knew better than to announce her presence when she arrived. Her parents were probably busy with her guests so it was her job to come in quietly, make herself presentable, and greet everyone politely so they knew the wonderful, sweet Kagome Higurashi really existed and was just as nice and charming as her parents had depicted.

She skipped step two and went straight in to the dining room to make her appearance. "Oh!" She feigned surprise, smiling politely. "Sorry, am I interrupting you guys?"

"Of course not!" Her dad looked tired, and she knew he didn't like entertaining her mom's guests. Her heart went out to him as he seized the opportunity to make conversation with someone not falling for his wife's lines. "How was work?"

"It was fine." She didn't snap. She actually kept her voice pleasant, hoping to get across to him that she understood but she just didn't really want to have a superficial conversation about her minimum wage job. "Nothing interesting happened."

"Are you hungry?" Mrs. Higurashi joined in, the picture of a concerned mother. "There's still food in the kitchen." Yeah, Kagome could see exactly what was in the kitchen. Some cold pasta was still in the pan and that was about it. There was a fly on it too.

"I'm fine." She said with a smile directed at everyone in the room. "I ate at work." One of the women she didn't know shifted in her seat, and Kagome bit back the urge to roll her eyes.

"And where do you work?" The interest was half feigned, half genuine. If it was a respectable, successful company or business, approval would be handed out accordingly.

Her smile hardened to pure plastic. "The mini mart on Parkinsons." She waited for their subtle reactions and wasn't disappointed. The lady who'd asked the question blinked and made some comment about how dedication to one's work, no matter what the circumstances, was admirable. Everyone else just shifted in their seats and avoided making contact.

Mrs. Higurashi, a marvelous host, laughed about teenagers who attempted to be independent, and quickly changed the subject. Kagome gave a polite wave to the visitors still watching her and left to retreat to her room.

Agonized screams and muttered curses came from her brother's room, and she heard gunshots followed by his triumphant laugh. "Hey Souta," she greeted him, opening the door to his room and poking her head inside. "I'm home."

"Oh. Hey Kagome." The fact that he responded at all meant he was glad to see her, but while his video games were on, the world was tuned out. Enthusiasm was too much to expect from him. "Stop it, what do you think you're doing!" He screamed into his headset, all awareness of his sister pushed to the back of his mind. "I told you, it's on the third floor!" There was a sound, and he cursed loudly. "Idiot." He muttered. His fingers were still moving frantically, so Kagome figured it was his partner that died, not him. Smiling to herself, she slipped back outside and closed the door behind her.

Then she made her way to her room. Her clothes from that morning were still scattered on the floor and she made no move to pick them up as she passed them. Before falling on her bed, she flipped on her stereo, making sure to keep the volume low enough not to disturb company.

She hugged her pillow tightly, stuffing her face into it. She was so tired lately. She felt completely drained, but she couldn't figure out why. Everything was as it had always been she just seemed to be worse at dealing with it. Her conversations with her parents made her feel more isolated, school made her feel like she was merely an extra in the grand scheme of things, and the parties didn't give her the rush they used to. But she had the feeling that if she stopped playing along with her family, getting by at school, or going out all those nights, her entire world would come crashing down around her.

She didn't know why there was a balance. She didn't get the reason why all the little things seemed to hold her together. And she knew her fear of falling apart was irrational. She was smart, capable, responsible . . . she'd been doing just fine for a long time.

But when she just sat alone in her room, she felt inexplicably heavy. Sometimes she couldn't move. Often, she had trouble breathing. Maybe she was trying not to cry, but she didn't know if that was a sign. Usually she just closed her eyes and tried to think of nothing.

A knock at the door startled her out of her reverie. "Hey Honey." It was her dad. "Thanks for cleaning." He was only saying it so he had something to say. It was an excuse to leave the guests, and excuse to talk to her, an excuse to feel normal. But she let him have it.

"No problem." She closed her eyes, hoping he'd leave. Their conversations had become taxing, the weight when he was around was almost unbearable. But she couldn't be rude to him. Sometimes she felt like his champion. Sometimes his hope. But never his little girl.

"Alright," He said finally, taking hold of the door to leave. "Well, make sure you do your homework before you get so caught up in nothing." He was trying to be supportive, but he'd never had to tell her to do homework in her life. She was more motivated than anyone she knew and the urgings were becoming insulting. It was like he'd believed in her before, but now he thought she was losing herself. And he had no right to think that because he'd been lost for years. "Goodnight."

"Night." She smiled at him, easing the abruptness of their conversation. He left and she listened for the sound of his footsteps as he walked away. When she was sure he was gone, she allowed herself to relax, letting her body sink into the blankets, putting up no resistance against the weight pressing against her.

When she felt like she could move again, she opened her eyes and sat up, blinking rapidly to shake her mind to full consciousness. With a resignation laced with a slight determination, she reached for a textbook and then her notebook. She hadn't needed the reminder, but now she was ready to focus. She worked until late, and then watched the ceiling until her eyes finally became as heavy as the rest of her. And then she slept without dreaming.


And that's the end. I can't help but wonder what you guys are thinking now because Kagome must seem very strange, very not in reality but almost drowning in it. At least, that's how I think of her. Everything will become more apparent later. And Inuyasha's first name appearance! What'd you think of that? I like him being thought of as evil for some odd reason. He's so misunderstood! But so is she! It's just a vicious cycle! So their perfect for each other. Or they will be. I just like writing this! Inner workings are so great!

AND there is more to her life than appears right now, so don't go thinking she's such a baby because all she had to do was clean up some. It's a lot more stressful than that and when the big things are hidden from society, it's the little things that stress you out and drag you down.

Oh! And did you guys like the song? That's another 'Ruthless' one lol. I know it's probably very loser-esque of me to keep putting in my songs, but sometimes they fit! That's just the first verse for one, and I might fit the chorus, second verse, and/or bridge later, but we'll see. They are in italics, so the people who think songs disrupt the story can just skip over them!

Until next time. PLEASE give me feedback cuz this is so much darker than anything I've ever done.

Rogue Pryde.

&

MERRY CHRISTMAS!