The Reason

Chapter 10-I thought you loved me…

A/N: I know it's been like 3 years since I wrote on this….Oh well! Who cares. . .I'm feeling inspired. Since then my cheerleading squad and I won FIRST place at the UCA national competition…so I've been kinda busy! Sooooooo here we go with chapter 10.

5 months later—

October 1st, 2004

It's been forever. 5 months since I last saw Lizzie. My scheduled trip to Hilldrige that weekend in April got delayed due to my sudden promotion at my job. I'm making almost $4,000 a month taking pictures for weddings and parties. I lied about my in order to get this job in the first place and now I'm making more in 6 months than some people make in a year. Every night I lay awake in bed and debate on the importance of going back to Hilldrige. I loved Lizzie. What am I saying? I still love Lizzie! I've just gotten so adapted to my life in Tulsa that I have forgotten what I feel for her. It's been completely safe for about 2 months now that Ethan is dead and Vanessa is behind bars. Why haven't I even made an attempt to contact her? I'm the worst boyfriend ever. Am I seriously so obsessed with this job that I've forgotten about the love of my life? I'm a jerk. I know it, but it's going to stop. I'm on my way to Hilldrige as we speak. In fact, I'm on the plane! I'm going to win Lizzie back and hopefully ask her to move to Tulsa with me. I'm so excited about the life we can finally share openly!

Gordo

The plane slowly began its decent and Gordo placed his journal back in his carry-on. He couldn't wait to see Lizzie. It was going to be the biggest surprise of her life.

October 1st 2004

It's been 5 months. Kaleb has begun to kick and wake me up every night. She's only got a few short months left until her due date and I must say I can't wait. The pain in my back is almost constant and I've had to switch schools because Hilldrige High doesn't allow you to attend once you start to show. I still see Miranda everyday. We go shopping a lot for the baby. Speaking of which, my baby shower is tonight, so I should be receiving a lot of gifts. Not that many people are attending since most of my old school friends think I'm a slut and my new school friends don't know me well enough. It's basically me, my mom, Miranda, her mom, my aunt, and the closest friend I've made at St. Catherine's, Lily. She's 8 months pregnant and ready to pop. My mom was in charge of the invitations so I'm not sure who all she sent them to. . .I just know that that's all that have RSVPed. We'll see who shows up. It should be an interesting night.

Lizzie

PS—its funny how this has become more of a BABY journal than a journal about me. I never mention Gordo anymore and people have even stopped wondering where he is.

"And this one's from me." Miranda said as she placed a small delicately wrapped box in my hand. It was too small to be anything other than jewelry. Lizzie ripped the paper off and opened up the white box. She pulled out a sterling silver ring and out of the ring was cut "Kaleb".

"Oh my gosh!" Lizzie squealed. "Miranda, it's gorgeous!"

"My sister-in-law got a ring with her daughters name engraved on to it. I thought it was the cutest idea I had to get one for you and Kaleb." Miranda smiled as she watched Lizzie stare at the ring. Lizzie pushed off the arms of the chair she was sitting in in order to hug her best friend. Miranda had been there for her ever since the raping. No word had been heard from Gordo in over 5 months and Miranda saw how it tore Lizzie up everyday. The doorbell rang and Lizzie pulled apart to answer it. "I'll get it!" Miranda volunteered.

"Don't be silly." Lizzie insisted. "Just because I'm pregnant doesn't mean I can't answer a door." She laughed and left the living room, pulling the French doors closed behind her. She flipped on the light in the entryway and pulled the door open. There stood Gordo.

As Lizzie pulled the door open, Gordo caught the first glimpse of her since New York. Her hair was still shoulder length and beachy blonde. Her eyes still sky blue and sparkling. He let his eyes wonder over her in that split second where neither one of them spoke. He felt a lump rise in his throat as he caught glimpse of her very pregnant stomach. He felt the world spin and he gripped the door frame to keep himself standing. She'd moved on, married some guy, and gotten pregnant. He felt the vomit launch from his stomach but he violently pushed it down. Tears stung his eyes as he grasped for something to say. ANYTHING. She did it for him.

"Is it really you?" she whispered quietly after a few moments. When he didn't respond she reached her hand out and touched his cheek. "It is. It has to be." Her hand shrank back like he was scorching hot.

"Yeah it's me. " Gordo choked out. He rubbed his eyes to keep the tears inside. "Uh, sorry it's such short notice. But uh. . . " He stuttered.

"Gordo it's been a long time." Lizzie whispered again. "I need to tell you something" Her hands resting on her stomach.
"I've pretty much got it figured out already." Gordo spun ready to leave.

"Wait! Gordo! It's not what you think! Please don't leave!" She ran after him out onto the porch, not even attempting to stop her tears.

"I don't really want to hear it." Gordo jumped into his car, dropping the flowers he'd been holding on the ground. He sped off into the night. Lizzie sobbed and violently wiped the tears off her face. She turned around to return to the party, planning on not letting anyone know who the visitor had been. She walked back into the living room. Everyone turned to look at her and she burst into tears.