Me: AAAHHHH! OOOOWWWWWW! CCCOOOOLLLDDD! (looks at laptop) NNNOOOOOO! MY LAPTOP! IT'S ALL WET!
Crowd: (kills person and puts his head on a pike along with the guy that shot me…)(They're like my own personal bodyguards…. yay…)(they dry off the laptop.)
Anyways, onto the story.
BANJO-KAZOOIE – TALES OF THE DEAD
(An epic tale of our two great adventurers)
Chapter 4 – Go to the Underworld
"So… you want to get to the underworld right?"
"Yes."
"Well, first of all, no one can go there unless they're dead."
"Isn't that obvious…" muttered Jewel. Sarcasm ran through the family.
"Well, I could kill you and then you could go there…" his katana pops out of nowhere again.
"Hmm… How 'bout not…" said Jewel.
"Well, in order to go there alive, you need great willpower and lots of strength." Samuel explained. "I can train you, but it may take a while."
"Charge 'em Sammy!"
Squeaky hammer appears out of nowhere and hits Flame. SQUEAK!
"Oww…" Flame whined.
"Anyways. Shall we start?"
"Okay." Banjo and Jewel followed Samuel out into the backyard.
And thus, the harsh training of the master shaman began.
Underworld
Kazooie was bored. She had to do something. Fortunately, there was an Underworld's Best tournament approaching. Kazooie spent most of her day training by running the entire underworld. One lap as any more would take two or more days. She apparently was the only one doing this type of training. All the other brutes were punching stuffing filled bags and showing off their muscles.
When she wasn't running, she was sharpening up her target practice. She held the current record for shooting down all of the targets. A month later, the tournament began.
"OKAY PEOPLES! THE BATTLES ARE ABOUT TO BEGIN!" A short devil shouted into a mike. "ALL THE CONTESTANTS GIT YER BUTTS INTO THE PREPARATIONS ROOM!"
Thousands upon thousands of contestants piled into the gigantic hall.
"Everyone has been assigned an opponent. When the battle before yours ends, you and your opponent have five minutes to warm up and start the battle. The only rule is that you shall put on a good show for the ahem citizens."
Kazooie saw that she was in the 2498th battle. She sat down and watched. It was quite interesting. The strong ones were obviously winning and the weak ones were getting pummeled or thrown into the wall. By the time it was time for Kazooie's battle, there were various body prints and blood on the walls.
"Battle number 2498… BEGIN!"
Kazooie walked into the giant arena. She looked at her opponent. A slightly familiar devil. Not much of a challenge…
"This is payback for throwing that statue on me!"
Now she knew where she had seen him. He was at the reception to the Underworld.
"Hmph… this should be easy."
"GGGRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!" Shouted the devil as gigantic muscles bulged everywhere. It's eyes became bloodshot and spittle fell from its mouth…eww…
"Maybe this wasn't such a good idea…" Kazooie thought.
The devil attacked.
Monk Isle
Training was hard and most importantly, almost pointless. He was doing housework for crying out loud! Every day, he would get up at seven and make breakfast and then he and Jewel would sweep the house. Every time he got pissed off at a task, he would think about how he was going to get Kazooie back. Finally, after a couple weeks, Samuel approached Banjo and Jewel.
"Well done, you've both passed my first test. Both of you have shown amazing willpower. Most ran away out of frustration after the first week."
"Why did we have to clean the house?"
"Because it's boring and my house needed cleaning anyways. How many spiders did you find?"
"14,565. Man, you are a slob! This place was so filthy before we cleaned it up…" Jewel grumbled.
"Whatever. Okay. Here is my training." Samuel pointed at the peak of a tall, snow-capped mountain. "Every week, you must run up there, sit down, meditate for two hours and then run around for ten hours. Keep repeating this until a week has past. Then you can come back down to rest and eat."
"That's not so hard."
"That," Samuel said. "Is three hundred miles above ground level."
Jewel gaped. "WE'RE SUPPOSED TO CLIMB THAT!"
"You can always give up…"
"Nu-uh," Banjo said. "We've come all this way…we're not giving up."
"Suit yourself…"
The next morning, Banjo arose and stretched. He and Jewel had a long climb ahead. They trekked up the mountain. It became increasingly harder to keep going as the air grew thinner and thinner.
"This…is…impossible!" gasped Jewel.
"I…can…see…the…top!"
They reached the top gasping for breath.
"There!…Now…we…run
"You're… crazy!…" Jewel panted. "That's…worse…than…climbing…this…mountain!"
They started to jog.
Underworld
The devil sped towards her with incredible speed.
"Okay. A little unexpected…but too obvious." She sidestepped with grace.
"BLEARGH!" Roared the monstrous devil and charged again.
"This is worse than fighting Grunty! All his attacks are the same." She commented as she sidestepped and pecked the devil.
The devil stopped and stood rigid.
"Huh…"
"ROOOAAAARR! GWAAAAHHH!"
The psychotic monster charged up a fireball and hurled it at the bird. She spat an ice egg directly into the heart of the flames. It all erupted into a heavy mist. The crowd cheered.
"That's it…" Kazooie thought.
She launched herself at the devil. She was only running at a quarter her ability, but to the crowd and the devil's poor eyesight, she didn't have to try hard to make it look like she disappeared.
She appeared behind him. She spat a fire egg. The devil was ablaze. She spat an ice egg. The devil was frozen in a half-crouched position in an attempt to charge. The flames were frozen too. This all looks pretty cool. The fire frozen in a huge chunk of ice… Finally, she spat three more ice eggs, solidifying the mass and set ten grenade eggs around the base of it. Within seconds, the arena was filled with chunks of ice with bits of the devil in each. The crowd cheered crazily. She was declared the winner and walked off stage.
She had won her first battle. She finally found something to do. She sat back down to enjoy the rest of the show. A couple battles later Grunty walked onto stage.
"This ought to be interesting." Kazooie thought as she watched the battle begin.
"EAT THIS!" Grunty cackled as she threw spell after homing spell at the unfortunate opponent.
This poor guy just happened to be a person named Jeff… (no offence Jeff…) The whole arena exploded into smoke as the challenger was blasted backwards. Medics came and took him away.
After the first round was over, the second round began. The challengers defeated each other, this time taking longer as only the strongest survived. However, there were a couple of quick battles…
Top o' the Mountain…
Banjo collapsed wheezing and started to meditate.
"I can't take any more of this!" Jewel gasped as she sat down too.
"One more day," mumbled Banjo.
………………………………………………………………………………………………
I shall now leave you there! Next chapter will good. I can see it now… fua ha haa… grins evilly… yes…yes… HA HA HAAAA! Runs around like crazy. Trips over a rock and fall on face.
"OWWWW!"
Crowd: ARE YOU OKAY!
"Yeah…I'm okay…"
Anyways, now you can wait and give me reviews! PLEASE! THEY ARE MY FUEL FOR WRITING MORE! IF NOT…GASP!…I MIGHT DIE! AND YOU DON'T WANT THAT TO HAPPEN DO YOU!
Crowd: NOOOO!
See. If you don't review, they will find you… heh heh heh…
