Dilemma Chapter 3: Lingering Truth

Shin hadn't an idea of where and how to begin. It needed few words to explain, but how can one say such words with ease?

"Kamiya-san. Himura is... Battousai is..."He began, but as expected, his words were hindered by his own hesitance.

"Shin-san." Kaoru interrupted, managing to suppress her anger, understanding Shin's disapproval to some extent. "I know very well who Kenshin is. He's been living here for over two years. Many things have happened. So please, know that Kenshin is no longer like Battousai, and that I want him to be here." More than that, she needed him to be there.

It was a simple explanation that needed no more words. Shin was exasperated. Kaoru had just made it a thousand times more difficult for him.

"Kamiya-san. That's not the big problem. You see..."

Again, Shin was not allowed to continue, for the sound of a sliding shoji was audible. Shin briefly and rather ridiculously wondered if Battousai had somehow made it back into the dojo, unbeknownst to the two in the kitchen, and had been eavesdropping all this time. Even knowing that it was very much unlikely, he uncharacteristically felt a tingle shoot up his spinal nerves at the thought. Battousai was one to pull it off if he wished to.

To Shin's small relief, the person responsible turned out to be just a boy. Yahiko, just as Kenshin had done, stared at Shin curiously.

"Yahiko, this is Shin-san. He was one of the best apprentices my father had." This time, Kaoru decided she would do the introductions. "This is Yahiko, my only student at the moment. He's learnt Kamiya Kasshin Ryu for over two years."

"Wow! So he's mastered Kamiya Kasshin Ryu?" Yahiko spat out of assumption and excitement, any possible polite greetings forgotten.

"Well, very much almost..." He would have, if his master hadn't died.

"Can you check how I'm doing later?" Yahiko beamed to see a former Kamiya Kasshin Ryu prodigy. Of course, he liked to think he was one also.

"My pleasure." Shin smiled. Despite Battousai's presence here, not all seemed to be out of order. Shin was genuinely proud to see such a young and enthusiastic disciple, be him the sole one under Kaoru, embracing the teachings of Kamiya Kasshin Ryu.

He would inform Kaoru later. Acquiring that Battousai had taken residence here for over two years had greatly angered him, but it also induced him with substantial relief; at least, Battousai hadn't harmed Kaoru all this time. He wouldn't have reason to do so now, would he? Shin persuaded and comforted himself with such thoughts. But there was no way that he would let this be. He would surely tell her later. It was the least he could do for his deceased master. And his sole heir.

Kenshin walked. Kenshin was an insightful one, especially when whoever that saw fighting as a part of life was concerned. Shin was a good man, showing pride and honour in his simple actions and expressions, yet he did not seem to display arrogance or selfishness -- nor did he seem like a moody person. Perhaps that was too much to judge even for Kenshin; at the very least, Shin did not seem like one to harm Kaoru. But Shin's response upon seeing Kenshin puzzled him. Kenshin wondered if Shin had just been extravagantly surprised to see a man in the house -- just as he himself had been, not quite so extravagantly.

That led to other thoughts. Just what was his own place in Kaoru's dojo? Kenshin could recognize Kaoru's disapproval when he introduced himself to Shin as "just a resident..." Both knew it was untrue. After all that they had been through, both knew he was anything but just a resident. She had told him she wanted to be with him forever, on more than one occasion. And he had indirectly agreed many times; he had silently agreed before she had even spoken the words for the first time. But... definitely, there were still gaps in their relationship, potential steps in waiting. They were apparent and both knew they wanted those filled and taken. Was it his damned guilt that held him back? Or was he just not proficient at this type of thing? How long could he afford to hesitate?

Upon asking himself the last question, Kenshin couldn't keep Shin's image from intruding his mind once again. Would Shin's presence prove any ill? Was Shin's intention solely to honour Kaoru's father for but one day? Kenshin was, ultimately, just a man -- he could have doubts and he was allowed to feel unjustified jealousy. But he quickly pushed aside any thoughts of misplaced jealousy or mistrust. He chose to reverse his steps back home, wherever his steps had taken him irrelevant. Yes, the dojo was his home -- forever, he hoped.

Kaoru glanced from the gate to the clouds. When they had become so grey and plentiful, she had no clue. What was that Kenshin doing? Her worry escalated two-fold when she sensed a delicate drizzle -- admittedly pleasant coolness -- on her skin. Chalk that up to the recently unpredictable Tokyo weather. Kaoru briefly heeded Yahiko throwing all kinds of questions at Shin. He didn't seem to mind however, returning replies just as lengthy and animated to the curious boy. Shin had always been like that; child at heart, friendly to most, serious and sensitive when needed. Surely, he'd come to understand and accept Kenshin. In that respect, Shin's unfitting actions so far, few they were, had surprised, disappointed and angered Kaoru.

By the time Kenshin made his appearance back in the dojo, he was seemingly soaked to the bone, corresponding to the now harsh downfall of cold water. Kaoru was readily available with towels, dry clothing and a hot bath, pouncing on him as soon as soon as his vague footsteps outside were heard. Kenshin made a heartfelt smile as Kaoru fussed over him. It wasn't the dry fabric, shelter or the hot bath that made him feel happy and comforted; it was Kaoru. She would brighten any day he had, one as gray and dull as this.

Shin watched on from the dryness of the porch. He was one whose heart would normally warm at such a simple sight, but the sight before him only hurt and angered him. Why did things have to be like this? He couldn't delay it any longer; he had to tell Kaoru. If he didn't, he feared that he would lose the courage forever. On one hand, he wished he could just leave them be, but on the other, he felt duty for his master as well as Kaoru. But more than anything else, he couldn't help but feel abhorrence for Battousai. How dare he, after what he had done? It was indeed unfathomable, and it served as impetus; it had to be done now.

Kenshin had settled into the steaming water. Admittedly, it was nice for someone else to prepare his bath, for once. He allowed his tired muscles relaxation, his soaking session in the wooden hollow lengthier than on usual days. After a while, he stepped out lazily, almost reluctant but selfless as ever. For he was sure Kaoru would like a bath also.

But something was not right. Something was most certainly not right. A feeling of incredulous but absolute sorrow, utterly ethereal it may be, emitted from Kaoru's room. Kenshin hastily walked towards the room in question.

"Kaoru-dono? Are you in there? Please let me come in." Kenshin pleaded, his desperation not quite apparent in his request. He doubted and wanted to doubt his own instincts, for the overwhelming external emotions he was sensing had not been felt from Kaoru -- not since the night and the short moment he bid her goodbye amid the fireflies. What on Earth was going on?

A reply was not audible. But he knew she was in there. And Shin was in there too. Kenshin wondered if he would be invading their privacy, but he had to ascertain his senses.

"Kaoru-dono, I'm coming in. Sumimasen."

And with that, Kenshin timidly slid aside the shoji. There sat Shin, barely a foot from the door, his back greeting Kenshin. Kaoru sat opposite, her face downcast, her expression indescribable.

- - Author's Note: I'm not sure how the writing was in this chapter, especially near the end. It could use some revising I think, but I thought I'd rather write more in that time :P It will become more angsty from here on, so please bear with it!

The reviews... thank you so much! The second chapter got more reviews than the first, and I'm so happy. Suggestions from here on will be very much welcome as usual, but I do have ideas so don't think I'm too lost :P

45, Koishi Sweet, Shadow Star, Maeve Riannon, gabby, Crystal Renee, Death by Wasabi, MZ. AMBeR EYES, Laurika, lord of chaos, kik-ting: Thanks so much for the reviews... I especially like the comments that seem to guess, want or wonder about what will happen in the story - it makes me feel so.. authory! Or, just sweet comments really make my day too (and you cheered me up in return Laurika).

Of course, suggestions, constructive criticism, and even justified flames are very much welcome... Even just a blank review lets me know that you read the story and bothered to let me know you read the story!

So please... read and review!

(P.S. I'm not sure how to get double blank lines, bold or italic in the story, I'm uploading Word documents and they don't register when I upload... I'm too lazy to use Text files to use HTML tags, so using Word, can someone tell me how to get bold, italic or double blanks to remain when I upload?)