Gaz silenced Dib before he'd even fully entered the house, being already completely absorbed with some TV program and in no mood for his heroic babble. Dib spared a glance at the screen, then immediantly regretted it as he saw the massive amounts of carnage and gore, instantly recognisable as 'Vampire Piggy Hunter: The Movie.' Of course.
Shaking his abnormally large head, Dib made his way carefully around his sisters field of vision and up the stairs to his room. Being mauled by Gaz was never a fun prospect, and saving the world would be much more difficult if he were reduced to pulp.
I can stand up to an alien menace bent on world domination, but not my own sister who just wants to watch TV and play video games/ he thought, smiling. /Actually...Zim usually isn't all that scary. Just loud...and destructive...
Which reminded him, he hadn't noticed any of the usual signs of Zim having a master plan for a while now...which could only mean he was planning something! Not that his logic made any sense, but it was an excellent excuse to get away from the gurgly screeches of the Vampire Piggies and save himself the risk of somehow attracting Gaz's attention.
Besides, any excuse to spy on Zim was a welcome one...
Meanwhile, said Zim was busy glaring at his computer screen. After arrving at his base, he'd rushed straight to one of his many labs to research these 'dances' and find out what sort of behaviour the humans would be expecting. So far, he'd made one drastic and shocking discovery: at these dances, most humans usually danced.
This was a bit of a problem. Dancing wasn't something he had any intention of doing, especially not with one of these...horrible filthy humans. They did not deserve the honor of dancing with ZIM! The very though sent him into little twitchy spasms of disgust.
He turned and marched away from the computer, as if it were its fault for even suggesting he do such a thing, and into the elevator. Still, if he planned on completing his mission, he might as well learn. He might HAVE to, for some unknown reason, and as an Invader he must never be caught unprepaired.
He scowled, mighty Irken brain already playing out a worst-case scenario: at this dance one of the foolish humans might notice him not dancing and call it to the attention of others. People would wonder why he didn't dance, they would question, they would investigate, and they would find out that he wasn't exactly a normal human. Tests would be run, autopsies, he would be put on display and the mission would be ruined!
"NO! I cannot allow that to happen! Oh, I will show these humans that I can dance...," a plan was beginning to form, a wonderful and devious plan. "So great will my dancing be, that all will wish to dance with Zim! I will be the dancing KING!" and here he broke into his trademarked evil laughter, completely oblivious to how extremely bad his latest plan was.
Still cackling, he leapt off the toilet (for he was in the house now) and strutted over to the couch. As expected, GIR was staring blankly at the screen, watching what appeared to be a soap opera of sorts. Zim didn't even bother looking at it, having learned the hard way that even a glance at such filth could kill 50 brain cells a second.
"GIR! I need you to teach me how to dance!"
That snapped the little android out of its day-time TV stupor. His torquoise eyes shone brighter with the prospect of actually being able to help his master with something. Dancing was something GIR knew, his territory and element. A realm where he couldn't mess anything up!
With an insane giggle, he leapt off the couch and landed at Zims feet with a sharp salute, momentarily glowing red before flashing his customary idiotic grin. Zim twitched, this was not going to be fun...
Dib leapt gracefully over one of the giant lawn gnomes, dodged a lazer, and jumped out of the grasp of two more gnomes to land with incredible precision in one of the hard-to-find blindspots. It was amazing how he was the only thing the gnomes seemed to target, and Dib took it as a sort of compliment. He was the only human Zim deemed a threat, and with an alien that paranoid, this meant a lot. Or just..not...he shrugged, gnome-musings could wait until he was done spying.
He peered carefully in the slanted windows, camera ready...
And had to quickly bit his lip to keep from gasping, choking, or laughing. Maybe all at once, and that would definately blow his cover. He thought he'd been prepaired for anything, since he was dealing with an alien and all... but nothing could have ever prepaired him for this! He grinned and readied his camera, he just couldn't miss a shot like this.
Inside the base, GIR was teaching Zim a few of the 'basic' dance steps (meaning he did whatever came to mind, which always worked for him anyway...). He'd been doing pretty well, actually, and was now writhing along with GIR in relative ease. He'd mastered the moves GIR had dubbed 'the wiggle,' 'the jumpy-hop thingy,' 'the whoosh,' and 'the thrashy wriggly thingy.' He had a profound suspicion that GIR really didn't know exactly what he was doing, but since it always seemed to work for the robot and since he was doing so well, he decided it didn't matter much.
After a few minutes, though, they were interrupted by a blinding flash and a muffled curse, followed by very familiar laughter. Zims eyes narrowed dangerously, all too familiar with this scene...
Almost instantly, the door flew open to reveal Dib, curled up and clutching his sides in laughter, camera gripped tightly and protectively to his chest. He held up a hand in a sign of peace, unable to stop laughing long enough to do anything else.
"Dib-human! What is the meaning of this?" Demanded a very confused Zim, accepting Dibs momentary truce. There was nothing for Dib to gain from that picture, he'd been in disguise. So why had he taken it? "And just what are you laughing at, anyway?"
"S-sorry, Zim...Don't destroy my camera this time..," gasped a very out-of-breath Dib. When was the last time he'd laughed like that? Had he ever?
"Rrr...ANSWER ZIM! What are you doing here? Why did you take that picture?" Zims paranoia wouldn't let him take this calmly any longer. Dib was his archnemesis and trying to expose him, for one, and having Dib laugh at him made the little Irken self-conscious, which made him angry, which made him violent, and so on.
Finally regaining some semblance of composure, Dib stood to face Zim, camera still clutched to his chest. "I'm here because I thought you'd be planning something stupid to take over Earth," he said, respecting the truce.
"My plans are never stupid, pitiful Earth-stink! You are just too inferior to understand the GENIOUS that is ZIM!" He snapped caustically. Dibs honest answer had done nothing to soothe his fears or wounded ego. "Now, why were you laughing at ZIM?"
Dib felt a small pang of guilt. He knew the Invader was as self-conscious as he was egotistical, and his pride was part of what made him so much fun to battle. However, he couldn't surpress a grin as he answered.
"I just saw you and GIR dancing... and I wasn't expecting it," he barely finished the sentance before he burst into another fit of laughter, earning an irate glare from Zim.
"Insignificant human! You mock the dancing of ZIM?" Zim was obviously worked up over this. /Stupid Dib...if this weren't a truce, I'd kill him/ he thought, glowering.
"No, you're a great dancer," Dib said automatically. He blinked. Having so little human contact sure had made him honest...he couldn't remember either his last conversation or the last actual lie he'd told.
Zim wasn't expecting Dib to compliment him. He squinted at the human suspiciously, looking for any signs of a trap or deception. Finding none, his contact-covered eyes widened in surprise, then he grinned. Hurt ego restored (and, if possible, increased), he smirked at Dib in his superior manner and waved at him.
"Yes, yes, very well then," he said, waving a gloved hand as if to shoo Dib. He turned to face his door and, either forgetting he was talking or assuming nobody could hear him, he proclaimed, "Yes...my plan is working! My genious is truly amazing..."
Dib crossed his arms, also smirking. He knew Zim was planning something! This was going well...
"Plan, Zim? Since I'm going to stop it anyway, you might as well fill me in." This earned him an angry glare from the alien, offended at Dibs presumptiousness. How dare he think he can ruin any plan of Zims before he even heard it! Zims plans were ALWAYS brilliant, Dib just got luck! A lot...
"Very well, Dib-beast. If you think you can foil my wonderful plan, then I welcome the challenge! With my amazing dancing abilities, I shall entrance all of the filthy worm-babies at the..skool," he said this with extreme disgust, like its very existance was apalling, "and I shall rule them all as the King of Dance! Brilliant, no?"
Dib was speechless. No, speechless didn't begin to describe it. More like catatonic. He stood motionless, staring at Zim in disbelief. After about 10 minutes of stunned silence and gleeful anticipation, Dib finally recovered.
"You...you can not be serious! Thats-"
"Brilliant! Yes, I know! You have not the words to describe Zims overwhelming superiority, no?" gloated the alien, incredibly pleased with himself.
"No! Thats a horrible idea! Just...," he shook his head, there were no words to describe the stupidity of that mass of nonesense Zim was spouting. "Come up with a better plan. I'm going home." For some reason, the human felt irrationally tired. The laughter combined with his brain trying to make Zims plan make sense was exausting.
Zim glared again. If Dib wasn't even going to try to stop him, then there must be a flaw somewhere. He'd even told him to come up with a better plan! Foolishness! He would show the Dib-creature...nobody mocked Zims brilliant plans! But now...he needed to think...
"Begone with you, miserable human! You shall yet see the brilliance that is ZIM! GNOMES! Remove the Dib!" he shouted angrily, then stormed inside and slammed the purple door violently. This distracted Dib long enough for a particularly close gnome to grab him and drag him off the property. He was spared a brutal pummeling by hitting the ground running the second it dropped the leg it was dragging him by. Camera still held close, he sprinted from the strange house towards his own, feeling oddly uplifted and cheerful.
Zim leaned against the door, arms crossed and apparantly deep in thought. Maybe his latest plan wasn't any good. Dib never just rejected his plans like that...he sighed, shaking his head.
I didn't find out what he was planning on doing with that picture! he mentally kicked himself for neglecting such an important question. As far as he knew, Dib rarely did things without a reason, but what purpose could that picture serve? Drawing a blank, he decided he'd just get it out of the human at skool and destroy it if necessary.
Glancing up, he noticed that GIR had repositioned himself on the couch and was laughing giddily at what appeared to be a cooking show. Deciding he knew how to dance well enough for now, he moved towards one of his many elevators, commanding it to take him to one of the various labs. He needed to think, he had to have a better, even more ingenious plan for Monday. He would show the Dib! He would make sure his plans were never mocked again!
