CHAPTER TWO: THE PLOT CONGEALS
The day had transgressed into a busy afternoon, the slowly setting sun casting it's light down on the two Agents of ACROSS as they walked home, cars buzzing by them. Actually, that was a bit of an exaggeration, since the cars were all more or less stuck in a giant traffic jam as the working class citizens all tried to get home and obsess over Final Fantasy XI more.
With her hands held lazily behind her head, Excel looked over to Hyatt, whose face was currently in a newspaper while they moved along the sidewalk. "So, Ha-chan, see any good job openings?"
"Well, Senior," Hyatt began, lowering the paper a little to look to her counterpart. "It says here there's two jobs available in a lesbian bar opening across town. We'll be paid for the first 25 chapters or so, then the author will write us out of the story and forget we exist.
Excel shook her head firmly. "No way. It's against ACROSS policies to work in a cross-over, especially one whose author doesn't know when to stop making new chapters and put the story out of it's misery." Excel tilted her head. "Besides, why would we work in a lesbian bar, of all places?"
"I'm not too sure, Senior." Hyatt simply said, then looked back down to the paper. "There's also two openings at the sharper image near us."
Excel shook her head again. "No, I was banned from there after I destroyed one of those massage chair things." She brought her hands down from her head, folding her arms over her chest. "Is it my fault that I sorta panicked when it started to lock my legs in place? I thought it might've been one of those James Bond torture things in disguise."
"A totally understandable reaction, Senior." Hyatt said reassuringly. "Oh, there's jobs available at a restaurant near here."
In one quick movement, Excel grabbed the paper form her partner, staring at the job ad mentioned. "Lemme see that!"
Hyatt wobbled dangerously for a moment after the paper was snatched from her hands, though amazingly she managed to keep her footing and avoid collapsing onto the ground.
"Minimum wage... Cash under the table... No background checks..." Excel began to grin rather impishly. "Sounds right up our alley, Ha-chan! Let's go!"
The blonde grabbed her pale partner's hand, and just as she was about to drag her off again, there was a weak mumble from Hyatt."Senior? It appears that we are already here."
Excel paused, looking to the side. Indeed, the restaurant from the ad was the very restaurant in front of them. "Convenient!" The blonde said cheerfully, dropping the other girl's hand and grabbing the Help Wanted sign placed outside b efore heading in, Hyatt close behind her.
An hour or two later, the girls were in the restaurant's kitchen, both wearing aprons which were covered in slightly suspicious red stains. "That's probably the first time your clothes were covered in blood before you put 'em on, eh Ha-chan?" Excel joked, cracking up into laughter afterwards.
Hyatt merely blinked in confusion, her head tilting to the side. "I don't get it, Senior."
Excel's laughter quickly faded after that comment, glaring at Hyatt from the corner of her eye. "True comedy is never appreciated." She mumbled her breath, then concentrated on stirring a dark red soup which had been boiling since they had first arrived, singing in a loud and tuneless voice. "Ohh, Ladle, ladle, ladle! I found you in the trash! And when this job is over, we'll have some spending cash!"
After cheerfully singing for another few moments, Excel drew a cupful of the soup, staring down at the lightly bubbling liquid curiously. "I wonder what kind of soup this is." She wondered aloud, then shrugged. "Oh well! One way to find out! Bottoms up!" She began to bring the soup up to her lips, until Hyatt bumped into her, spilling the soup on the floor.
"Oh, sorry Senior." Hyatt apologized, bowing politely.
Excel let out an annoyed sigh. "It's okay, Ha-chan, just be more careful. I'll clean it up." The blonde grabbed a rag that was hanging off of the stove, crouching down before stating to dutifully clean the spill on the floor. "On the first day, too." She mumbled under her breath, then tilted her head to one side as something shining in the spill caught her eye. "Eh? Whazzdat?" Reaching out, Excel grabbed the shining object, bringing it closer to her face. "Hmm... A golden tooth?" She blinked curiously. "What was a golden tooth doing in the soup? Could this be a clue? A warning? Or an obscure reference to an even more obscure anime only our author liked?"
Hyatt had, in the meantime, taken a small sip of the soup. "I have no idea, Senior, but this soup tastes oddly familiar to me."
Excel's eyes narrowed as she slowly put two and tow together. After all, it is possible to get the circle through the square peg -You just have to shove the piece hard enough. "What's the name of this place again, Hyatt?"
"Hannibal's Happy Hamburger House." The dark haired woman answered politely.
A blank look came over Excel's face. "Uh oh."
Suddenly, there was a series of loud knocks at the door leading into the kitchen. "Hey, new girls! We got... heheh... somethin' for ya!" Through the window on the door, Excel could see two ominous shapes standing outside, one holding something distinctly sharp and painful looking.
The blonde darted over to the door, locking it hastily. "Cannibals! Ha-chan, hurry! We need to find another way out of this kitchen, and fast!"
As Excel pressed her weight against the door to keep the people outside from breaking in, Hyatt put her index finger against her lower lip, looking around the room curiously and calmly, completely unaware of the situation. "Umm... There's a vent we could use near the floor here, Senior."
"Good thinking, Ha-chan!" Excel said as she darted to the vent in question, tearing off the cover. "If it worked for Snake, Sam, and JC Denton, it'll work for us!" The blonde announced before grabbing Hyatt, practically shoving the woman into the vent. "You go first!"
The banging at the door grew louder. "Come on, open up! You'll only make it worse for yourself!"
Hyatt disappeared into the darkness of the vent. A minute or so later, her voice was faintly heard echoing from the other end of the vent. "Senior? It seems to lead outside."
"Perfect!" Excel said cheerfully before dropping down onto her knees, starting to climb into the vent as well. After getting a little ways in, she was stopped. She squirmed about desperately for a moment, before a realization came to her. "I'm... Stuck!" She began flailing about in the vent frantically. "Ha-chan, help!"
Just then, the door burst open. However, the two men invading only got the chance to briefly see Excel's legs as she was dragged up into the vent. Quickly, one of the two moved over to the vent, looking inside. After investigating for a moment, he sighed. "Well, it looks like they ran off."
The other sighed, holding up a large chocolate cake he was holding his hands. "And we were gonna give 'em their 'Happy First Day' cake, too."
The first one nodded. "Yeah. And then we were gonna kill 'em and eat 'em, right?"
"Yup. Oh well. Put the Help Wanted sign back out front."
A few miles away from the restaurant, a very exhausted Excel leaned up against the wall of another business, her breath coming in rapid pants for air. "That... was... close." She managed to mumble out in between loud gasps of air. "And what's worse..." The girl slammed her head in against the brick wall, causing it to crack slightly. "... I didn't even get anything to eat." As if on cue, her stomach made a loud, gurgling sound.
An oddly similar gurgling sound came from Hyatt, who had been standing next to Excel after being dragged away from the Hamburger House. "S-senior..."
Excel pulled her head away from the vaguely Excel's-face shaped indention in the wall, spitting out a piece of brick before turning to look to her partner. Hyatt looked awful. "My God, Hyatt. You look awful!"
Somehow, the dark haired girl had managed to become even more pale and sickly-looking than usual, a light trail of crimson red blood dripping from her lips. "I... I think it was that soup, Senior..." The girl managed to quietly say before collapsing forward, into Excel's arms.
A few of the random pedestrians walking along the street paused, staring curiously at the two. With a slight blush on her cheeks, Excel stamped her foot down onto the ground, the pavement cracking under the force. "Just what the hell are you people staring at!" She barked. The pedestrians all quickly began walking along again, though some gave an occasional, brief look back towards the two girls.
Excel let out a frustrated sigh, laying the other girl over her shoulder. "Come on, Ha-chan. Let's get you back to the apartment before you start bleeding in front of everyone."
