Zim looked up sharply, distracted from his thoughts by the shrill ringing of the doorbell. Snarling about the inadequate security system and its constant need of up-grade, he stalked towards the elevator.
Disguise in place, he yanked open the front door fully prepared to tell whoever it was that he was not interested in what they were selling and that they'd gotten the wrong address. Instead, and much to his surprise and horror, he was practically tackled back into the house as thin arms wrapped around him.
"Heya buddy! Wow, Zim, it's so great to see you again!" Keef was beaming like an idiot, oblivious to the fact that Zim would soon be coming out of shock and be very, very angry.
"Wha- Keef!" He smacked the boy away in disgust, and none too gently. Keef didn't seem to mind as he tumbled over the couch and onto GIR.
"Hey GIR! I haven't seen you in a while, huh!" GIR squealed and waved his nubby dog-arms, apparently very happy to see Keef again as the human picked himself up.
"KEEF! What are you doing here? I said I would go to the wretched dance with you, what more do you want?" Zim demanded, panting with the sheer exhausting force of his rage.
Keef winked at GIR and they both giggled, which did nothing to ease Zim's mood.
"Well, ya know, Zim, I was just thinkin' we could hang out before the dance, too! Wouldn't that be fun? Just like the old days! Yay!"
"Keef..." Zim's tone was low and dangerous, "this is... actually not that hard for me to say, but the reason the 'old days' are over is because I hate you. So very, ver-"
"Ah, it's okay, I understand, Zim!" Keef cut in, obviously not understanding or just not caring. "I was just thinkin' since we'd be spending time together anyway, it'd be a great chance to hang out! What do you say? Huh?" Keef's bright green eyes held a spark of determination and resolve befitting an action hero, which went completely unnoticed by Zim.
"No! I want you out of my house! NOW!" He pointed firmly at the door. Keef, however, was cheerfully telling GIR all about how great the dance was going to be and paying no heed to Zim's request.
A thought suddenly struck Zim, and he grinned evilly.
"Okay, Keef, as a token of our... friendship," he shuddered as he said that, the word dripping with distaste, "I'm going to make you a nice present. You stay here with GIR."
"Oh boy! A present! You'd really go through all that trouble for me? Wow, Zim! I didn't know you cared!" His eyes watered, memory blissfully free of the last present Zim had given him and the kind squirrel-alien army which had helped to repair him. Boy, what an adventure that had been!
Zim hastily made his way to the kitchen and into a lab entrance out of Keef's direct line of sight, mighty brain rushing through possible Keef-disposal devices which could be made in a brief amount of time. As long as GIR was up there to keep him distracted, things should go well.
Dib stared gloomily down at the side-walk as he trudged along, an oddly emboldened Gretchen clutching his arm in her sweaty palm and babbling mercilessly on about how bad soda was for her gargantuan braces, but she chugged it anyway.
"Uh-huh. That's... that's fascinating, really..." He mumbled when she paused for breath. How far away did this girl live, anyway? They'd been walking for at least thirty minutes, though it could have been an eternity as far as Dib knew.
First there had been awkward silence, which Dib was pretty okay with. A sudden surge of courage hit Gretchen, and she'd struck up some semi-normal conversation, mainly interrogation about Dib's favorite whatever, which answered dutifully. From there, things had sort of spiraled out of control and Dib had begun looking at his watch more than at his preoccupied companion.
He was about ready to hurl himself into the street at a passing car when she finally announced that they were there.
It was a nice enough house, not as big as Dib's, but there were plenty of worse ones around. Very average, nondescript, suburban. Dib had no hope of ever being able to find it again even if he wanted to.
"Okay, well, that was... fun. See ya tomorrow, then! Bye!" And he took off running, leaving her staring after him with a mixture of surprise, hurt, and joy.
Dib had to literally drag himself up to Zim's gate, which he leaned against as he tried to gather strength he didn't have left. He had run the full length from Gretchen's to Zim's, which would take about two hours to walk. He had been more eager to face Zim than he'd realized. Or maybe it was just the after-effect of Gretchen's company, who could tell, really?
After catching his breath, he made his way cautiously to the front door, amazingly not being attacked by anything. Odd. Security must be down or something. That wouldn't be a first.
The door popped open as he was reaching for the knob, and he was met with cold emerald eyes.
"Yaah!"
"Dib, what are you doing here? Did you take Gretchen home?" Demanded the scary red-head.
"Uh, yeah. What are you doing here? Why are you in Zim's house? And where is he?" Finding Keef opening Zim's door like he belonged there was not something Dib had been prepared for.
"ZIM is downstairs, making me a present!" Keef practically got all giddy again at the thought, but caught himself.
"A present? Are you insane? He's an evil alien monster! No present from him could be anything good!"
Keef's eyes darkened. Zim and Dib might really be bestest friends, but there was no way he could talk about Zim like that! No matter what kind of dysfunctional friendship they might have!
"You know, Dib, he might make you stuff too if you weren't so mean to him all the time!" Because it was obviously a matter of jealousy. Dib just wanted Zim to pay attention to him too! Keef wasn't fooled by that 'alien monster' crap.
Dib just stared at him. "Did he hypnotize you or something? Some kind of crazy alien mind-controlling technology? What's his plan, Keef? Regular mind-control makes too much sense for him, there isn't enough flair. Hmm... That horrible pimple thing was more his style," he mused out-loud, though he obviously was not fond of the memory of Pustulio.
So enraptured with his thoughts was Dib that he didn't notice Keef slam the door. He mechanically began walking away regardless, body having gotten accustomed to his odd habits and being shut out of Zim's. Walking home on autopilot was a conditioned response.
Meanwhile, back inside, Keef had returned to his usual chipper self as far as the outside world was concerned. Internally was a different story. Of all things, he was brooding. He needed to think of some way to keep Dib occupied with Gretchen and far, far away from Zim.
Speaking of, he needed to check how the plan had gone on her end. He found the phone on the end-table under it's blanket of wrappers and dishes and quickly dialed her number.
"Hello?"
"Heya Gretch! How'd it go with Dib?"
"Oh, Keef!" She giggled maniacally for a moment. "It went great! Everything is going perfectly!"
"Aw, wow! But next time, can you keep him a little longer? He came over, like I thought he would... and he was talkin' pretty crazy again!" They both laughed.
"Okay, but what should I do?"
"Uh, hey, I know! Go get food or something! GIR likes Krazy Taco, maybe you could take Dib there!"
Their scheming went on for a while longer, sounding no more sinister than some 5-year-olds playing Barbie.
Deep within his labs, Zim glared at the screen before him.
"So, they have a plan, do they? The Dib may be on to something with that hypnosis theory thingy of his..." He hissed, closing the screen. He'd heard all he needed to hear.
