To Live And To Love

Chapter 4: Don't Want You Back


It was impossible, simply yet ever so complicatedly impossible. She had a life, yet everything was wrong. If you had no reason to live, why live at all? That was a good question.

Tears washed over her face, yet she did not move. Silent sobs shook her body till a coughing fit took its place. Sitting up and clutching the blanket to her tighter, she tried to stop coughing. It was useless, soon she was crying simply because it hurt so much. She would pass out soon if she didn't do something. Out of seemingly nowhere, a hand extended a cup of water. Not caring at the moment, she grabbed the cup and drank the water down. Panting slightly, she dropped the empty cut on the bed, falling back on the pillows. The tears were still there, and her face an even more apparent shade of red.

Closing her eyes, wet lashes wet the tinted red skin. She wasn't asleep, he knew. Yet, somehow, he couldn't understand. Why? Why would she do this to herself? He saw what she was doing this whole time, he saw her walk, sing, cry, and purposely make herself sick. He was watching her even if he didn't come back home. This only place he couldn't see her in was the school. It wasn't that he hadn't tried; it's just that the disgusting smell of humans and cheap cologne or perfume didn't exactly do wonders for his nose.

The last thing Kagome remembered before she fell asleep, was a surprisingly soft voice, confusion laced through it.

"What did you do…"


Inuyasha stood by the window, staring blankly out at the snow. It was surprising that he hadn't left the school yet; he was usually the first to leave. The radio behind him was playing some song he hadn't heard before. He didn't pay attention much since his attention drifting to the one person outside. Why was she still here? She was usually out of here before even him! He looked at her carefully. What was she trying to do? Get sick? That was the only reasonable explanation!

Even though his thoughts were questionable, he couldn't move back from the window. Despite all he said, he still found her beautiful. He didn't want to think back on their messy break up, it wasn't his fault. Well, it was, but Kikyou had this strange ability to make him do things that made no sense what so ever.

He liked Kagome, he really did. She was one of those rare few and in between girls that he actually did like. Strangely enough, there were only two of those: Kikyou and Kagome. They had a strange history, he went out with Kikyou, and she cheated on him, and dumped him. He got mad, and decided to make her jealous, so he found Kagome. She was supposed to be the re-bound girl, nothing more, nothing less. Yet, with the time passing, he saw that she was barely that. She was different from all the whores that went to the school, Kikyou included.

He still liked Kikyou, may be even loved her, but she cheated on him! That was shallow, even for her. Yet somehow, as soon as kagome got in the picture, Kikyou came back with a vengeance. She was so sincere with her apologies, and her lies were almost believable. He knew she lied, but he loved her, as stupid as it sounded. How could he not give her another chance? After all, he met her way before Kagome, he loved her much longer. He wasn't sure if he loved Kagome as much as he loved Kikyou, but when she came back, he seemed to have forgotten to care.

He erased Kagome from the picture. Kikyou kept telling him that Kagome was her replacement, and now he could have her back. Jumping at the better opportunity, he listened to Kikyou. He broke up with Kagome. She seemed ok. All was okay again. Until may be a week since he started dating Kikyou again. He didn't want to believe his friends when they told him she was cheating on him again. She wouldn't! She promised him! Yet, when he got enough sense to check, he realized what an idiot he was. She was just a common whore. He had enough proof now to break up with her, and for good enough reasons to. He just hoped Kagome would forgive him for all he did to her. For now, he could only hope…

The door behind him opened, and Kikyou stepped in. A coy smile on her lips and a trace of men's cologne permanent on her clothes. Stepping closer she hugged him and whispered in his ear, seductive tone almost mesmerizing.

"You wanted to speak to me, Inuyasha?"

Removing her arms from around him, he stared back out the window. Kagome was still there, in all her glory. In the middle of the falling snow, looking ever the part of a snow angel…

"Kikyou, we need to talk, I've been thinking about all this, and I just don't think this is all going to work out…"

Kikyou stared out the window where Inuyasha was looking, for the first time noticing her target. So, this is what the problem was? It was easily fixed then. She turned back to Inuyasha, listening attentively to his speech. The music still played quietly in the background, unnoticed by either occupants in the room…

"-Fuck what I said it don't mean shit now Fuck the presents might as well throw em out Fuck all those kisses it didn't mean jack Fuck you, you hoe, I don't want you back-"


Miroku walked slowly down the hallways of the deserted school. He was supposed to wait for Inuyasha today after school. He waited by his locker for over 20 minutes already. He remembered him saying something about talking to Kikyou in the drama room after school. He was going to have to do a double check on that. He wasn't sure if he meant talk or TALK. Because one of those, weren't concerned with talking at all, just making out, and if that was the case, he was going to head home, 'cuz it was going to take a while. He knew where the drama room was; he had to go there all the time, for his favourite class. How else could he get away with groping half of the schools female population and live if it wasn't for his wonderful acting skills. Walking down the hall and turning right, he moved to the room where the quiet music was drifting from.

"-…Fuck all those kisses it didn't mean jack Fuck you, you hoe, I don't want you back-"

Hmm, their taste in music was questionable, but it wasn't that noticeable with the amount of screaming coming from the room.

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN, ITS NOT GONNA WORK OUT?" that was definitely Kikyou's voice.

"I MEAN IT'S NOT GONNA WORK, YOU WHORE!" and if that wasn't Inuyasha, he was going to swear off groping girls for life…

"WHORE? WHO ARE YOU CALLING A WHORE? THIS ISN'T ABOUT THAT IS IT? ITS ALL ABOUT KAGOME ISN'T IT? THAT LITTLE BITCH DID SOMETHING, DIDN'T SHE?" and now that he was sure they were talking, he was just going to slowly back away from the crime scene and go wait faithfully by Inuyasha's locker, on excellent behavior, otherwise, it was his head.

"IT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH KAGOME! BUT SINCE YOU BROUGHT IT UP, I THINK YOU'LL BE HAPPY TO KNOW THAT SHE'S A WAY BETTER GIRLFRIEND THEN YOU, YOU WHORE! SHE DIDN'T FUCK THE MATH PROFESSOR FOR A PASSING GRADE!" and now, he was sure to have nightmares for a while. Speeding up his walk he opened the nearest staircase door and made a break for the familiar way to Inuyasha's locker. He was not going to be one happy puppy when he got there, might as well get this over with. With that in mind, he neared the locker and slid down to the floor and waited faithfully until his enraged friend came, dragged him up and marched outside without a word in his direction. Miroku couldn't be more thankful. The walk home was surprisingly silent, for Inuyasha was away seething in his own little world, and Miroku kept his mouth shut for once, for the fear of setting off the walking time bomb walking beside him.


Inuyasha snorted to himself while walking. He couldn't remember from where, but a song seemed to have planted itself into his head. But for the life of him, he couldn't remember where he heard it…

"-Fuck what I said it don't mean shit now Fuck the presents might as well throw em out Fuck all those kisses it didn't mean jack Fuck you, you hoe, I don't want you back-"

With a heavy burden on his shoulders and a mounting amount off stress, he made it home. Yet strangely, it didn't feel all that homey without Kagome with him. He's gotten to used to always having her there for him, with him. Only then had he realized what he had done. He threw away his happiness for someone who wasn't willing to realize what they could have had. Now that little piece of hope he had was slowly slipping through his fingers, like sand. Falling on his bed, he stared blankly at the ceiling.

He cursed himself, and he could only pray that it wasn't too late to undo his stupidity…


Hey! I updated! Anyways, I hope you guys like, and please please review! Thanks so much!

Later

Kira.