Random Tales of the Magic Roundabout

By Todd Fan

Disclaimer: "I hate your guitar. If I'd wanted to share a room with an irritating lump of wood I'd have moved in with an Australian soap star".


Well, here is a multi-chapter fic for the Magic Roundabout! As the title suggests, this fic will give random short stories, much in the spirit of the old series, in which each episode was 5 minutes long. If you don't know the characters, look it up on the web, or read my fic 'Welcome to the Enchanted Land' (plug alert!), where I introduce the characters and their world. Enjoy!


Chapter 1 - The great guitar fiasco


The Enchanted Land was, as usual, sunny and bright. Birds twittered in the trees, fish swam in the stream

"LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA!"

...A certain cow was singing.

"Simply marvelous, Ermintrude", said Brian with a love-struck sigh as Ermintrude made her big finish, "you sound like an angel"

"A fallen angel, you mean", muttered Dylan, resting his guitar against the side of the podieum.

"What was THAT?", asked Ermintrude, rounding on him.

"Nothing", said Dylan, "look, I've got to go err...stuff. Can you watch my guitar until..."

"Yes, yes, fine, just go", said Ermintrude irritably, warming up her voice again, "I do not always need music anyway".

"I bet he's going to steal mushrooms again", muttered Brian as the rabbit left.

"That or sleep", said Ermintrude, "lazy good-for-nothing"

With that, she launched into a new number, with her one and only fan watching happily. During the preformance, Dougal walked up, wincing at the volume.

"Hey, Ermintrude!", he shouted up at her, "will you quit it? You'll make it monsoon!".

Ermintrude stopped her singing, looking at the dog angrily.

"Don't be foolish, Dougal, it never rains here" (1)

"I'm sure you could manage to make it happen", muttered Dougal under his breath.

"Ummmm...Ermintrude", said Brain with a cough, "where has Dylan's guitar gone?"

Ermintrude blinked, turing to where the rabbit had left his beloved instrument.

"It isn't there", she said, then wimpered, "IT ISN'T THERE!'

"What isn't there?", asked Florence, walking up.

"Dylan's guitar!", sobbed Emirntrude.

"I saw a big piece of wood floating down the river as I walked here", mused Dougal, then grinned wickedly, "oh no, it must have been the guitar".

"I lost Dylan's guitar!", squealed Ermintrude, "I was supposed to take care of ti and now it's...it's...IN A RIVER!".

She looked deperately at the group.

"You think he might forgive me?"

Everyone was silent for a long, long time.

"You hope Dylan will forgive you for losing the only item he brought with him from...wherether the heck he came from?", asked Dougal, arching a furry eyebrow, "someone's a little optimistic aren't they?".

"He does have a point, Ermintrude", said Florence, then added, "but I'm sure if you just explain to him..."

"I don't think explainations will work", said Brian, "that rabbit treats that hunk of malformed wood like he would his own child".

Ermintrude sighed, hanging her head.

"Let's face it, I am a dead cow", she said, "oh, the agony, the sheer depravity of it all!"

"See, now we've got her going on one of her drama acts", grumbled Dougal, "Ermintrude, you're BIGGER than Dylan, I doubt he could do you much harm".

"Dylan has mastered almost every martial art known to man!", wailed Ermintrude, "he'd have SOME way to kill me!".

"I doubt Dylan will 'kill' anything", said Brian, trying to reasure her, "I mean..he IS a hippie, after all. Isn't that against their laws?".

"I thought hippies didn't agree with laws", mused Dougal.

"OH WOE, OH WOE!", sobbed Ermintrude, putting a hoof to her head.

"Ermintrude, will you STOP whining?", snapped Dougal, then smirked, "besides, there IS a way out of all this, you know"

Ermintrude paused in her self-pitty display to blink at him.

"There...is?".

"Of course", said Dougal, then grinned, "all you have to do is make a new guitar".

"Make a new guitar?", asked Ermintrude, "...wouldn't he notice?"

"Well...Dylan's guitar WAS a skanky piece of wood", said Brian, "I mean, it looked like he'd stuck it together in his sleep"

"Knowing Dylan, he probably had", muttered Dougal.

"You know...that may just work", said Ermintrude, "now...we need someone with hands to help with the construction".

Everyone turned as one to Florence.

"Oh no, not me", said Florence, stepping away, "I'll have no part in this. Losing Dylan's guitar is bad enough, but LYING to him as well?"

"Come on, Florence", said Dougal, giving her his best puppy face, "won't it be better than Dylan being hurt over his lost guitar? That would be like tearing a piece of his soul away, wouldn't you think it would be better to not let him go through that pain?".

Florence sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose. She hated the thought of any of her friends being upset.

"You're good", she said to Dougal, "okay, fine, I'll help, but I don't like it".

"Right", said Dougal with a nod, "let's get to work, remember, people, we don't want perfection, the crappier it looks, the better!"

A few hours later and their creation did, indeed, look crappy. Actually, their guitar could have won the crappiest guitar contest on the crappiest day of the year, playing the crappiest song know to man or beast.

"It's perfect!", grinned Ermintrude, looking at the misshapen object, "thank you, everyone, you've saved me, I am eternally gratefull"

"If you're offering rewards, you can give me a packed of bon-bons", said Dougal, before being poked by Florence, "what?"

"We did it to help a friend", said Florence, then smiled, "and to stop Dylan having some sort of breakdown"

"What sort of breakdown?"

Everyone turned around sharply, looking at the rabbit standing behind them.

"How long have you been there?", asked Brian with a nervous laugh.

Dylan blinked confusedly at them.

"I've only just arrived", he arched a brow, "are you guys, like, okay? You're acting all..clenchy".

"We're fine, just fine!", laughed Ermintrude, "not doing anything suspicious, THAT'S for sure!".

"...Okay then", said Dylan, "hey, have you seen Mr R? I, like, gave him my guitar to fix a broken string on it".

Ermintrude blinked.

"Pardon?", she said, "you mean to tell me your guitar has been with Mr Rusty all this time!".

"Err...yeah", said Dylan, "I told you to look after it until he came".

"Wait...if your guitar was with Mr Rusty...what was it that Dougal saw floating down the river?", asked Brian.

"You mean the little boat that Basil made?", asked Dylan, then blinked, "you thought my guitar was floating down the river?"

"NO!", said Ermintrude quickly, "not at all...hahahahaha, that was just a joke, wasn't it Brian?"

Brian glanced over at the bovine, who gave him a glare.

"Yes, Dear, just a joke", he said, "..heh heh".

Dylan shook his head, walking past them.

"You guys need to, like, seek professional help".

"That from the narcoleptic hippie!", Dougal retorted at the rabbit's back as he left, "So...what doi we do with this hunk of crap?"

He gave the guitar a nudge.

"Considering most of us lack fingers, I really doubt we can use it", said Ermintrude.

"Oh, I'LL keep it", sighed Florence, picking it up, "you never know, we might just need it one day".

"Time for bed", said Zebedee, once again appearing from nowhere.


(1) - I vaugely remember it being stated in one episode that it never rains in the Enchanted Land...even if everything grows just fine without it...it's an odd thing, but there you go.

Weee, that was fun and random, yes? And yes, this was pretty much how the old show ran, actually, I've probably given it a bit more structure. Ahhh, bless the madness. Do review. Until next time...