5:The Truth
That kiss didn't mean a thing. Remus told himself as he stood in the shower one evening. The warm water streaming down his face and hugging the curves of his smooth skin.
Even a year after their afternoon of mischief, sentenced to two weeks detention, and no Hogsmeade for the rest of the school year, Remus still thought often of that day.
Hard as he tried to push the dream from his mind, just as hard to firmly believe it was a figment of his imagination, it and the feelings it awoke, would not go away. Yes, awoke. Remus was now realizing he'd never felt strongly for the opposite sex and added to this, he had feelings for his best friend. He would love to have that peck on the cheek mean something, have new kisses, better one's, mean a whole lot. But the price to reveal his true feelings was too high, he'd rather long to be more intimate with Sirius then live with the scorn Sirius showed towards him if he expressed these longings and didn't return them.
Even now he could feel Sirius' lips on his skin, imagining them trailing down his shoulder blade to the middle of his back. Remus could even see him now, see his black hair his face, going from behind to the front, as Sirius lips placed hot kisses up his body until finally their lips met. Remus moaned deep in his throat. He remembered himself, and finished rinsing his golden hair.
Remus hung his head; water gathered in the shallowness of his eye sockets and his bangs concealed half his face.
He'd just have to take the truth with him to the grave.
Only once he was fully dressed did Remus notice the time; fourth years weren't allowed in the halls past this hour. He dashed along the corridors, his dripping hair bouncing and splashing in his wake, hoping he wouldn't have the misfortune of running into anyone of authority.
Upon making it to the common room successfully he noticed it was empty, how odd he thought, when did his fellow Gryffindors go to bed at a decent time?
He sat in his favourite chair by the fire in hopes the heat would dry his hair.
Remus closed his eyes, enjoying the warmth on his skin.
"Your hair smells good."
Remus nearly jumped, his eyes snapping open just the same. "Sirius, what are you doing up?"
"I dunno," Sirius replied lazily, somewhere above Remus' left ear. He let his forearms dangle on either side of Remus' head while he closed his eyes, his chin resting on the chair.
Remus glanced at Sirius' hands nervously.
"Where are Peter and James?"
Sirius chuckled, "Not surprisingly, Peter's asleep, he's always first for that. And James," Sirius shifted his weight, "Up in the Owlery with Lily."
"How romantic."
"Yeah," Sirius chuckled, "I told James that'd win her over."
Remus smiled. James, no matter what Lily said or did, would not give up vying for her affection. He hoped they'd get together, they'd have lovely kids.
"You're quiet Reem."
"I'm thinking."
"No, I mean, it's not like it used to be."
"What do you mean?"
"We'd tell each other loads of stuff, now, you're distant. Or are you always thinking when we're together?"
Remus was a little taken aback, but Sirius was right, ever since he acknowledged his feelings their friendship had changed.
Sirius sighed, "You're thinking again."
Remus turned in his chair, "You're absolutely right. I'm sorry for being so quiet and moody but things have changed."
"Like what? Did I do something wrong?"
"No, you're perfectly fine, it's just me."
"A little more description would help."
"That's part of the problem, I'm afraid it would hurt our friendship."
"Reem, there's nothing you can do to hurt our friendship." He smiled, "Well there are a few things." He began naming off with his fingers and Remus smiled too, "You could tell all our secrets to Filch, befriend Snivellus," He grimaced, "What else? Oh, become a Death Eater, then I'll have to kill you, but that's all." He shrugged.
"Wait a minute!" Ill conceived comprehension dawned on him, Remus rose his brows in surprise, "You haven't found someone you fancy have you?"
The colour rose in Remus' face but it went unnoticed.
"Cause if you have," Sirius pressed on, "Peter and I will have to disown you and James, if you start acting like that embarrassing git..."
