Kathryn's Insanity Galore
Author: Julie Dulière
Date: July 19th 2004
Genre: Humor
Synopsis: This is what happens when Kathryn Janeway goes insane...
AN:
This may be a very very weird story, but I wrote this when I ate too
many chocolate chip cookies and returned from a VERY exhausting sports
camp. Don't tell me I didn't warn you!
-----
It was just
another day in the Delta Quadrant. Or so it seemed. Everyone was at
their post on the Bridge. Except Captain Kathryn Janeway. She was
already half an hour late for her shift and they had calld her twice
already. She simply answered: "Shut up." Suddenly the Bridge doors
opened, revealing Capain Janeway. In a tennis outfit. Everyone turned
around and gasped at the sight.
Chakotay: Uh... Yo. Sup?
Janeway: The usual.
Tuvok, although he is Vulcan, had a rather confuzed look on his face. Tom was very amused with the conversation his commanding officers were having.
Harry: Uh Captain, are you all right?
Janeway: Call me Kathryn, handsome.
She winked at him. He slowly stepped to the back till he hit the wall. He tried to hide his fear with a forced smile. Again, Tuvok was confuzed and Tom was even more amused.
Harry: Are you uh.. Are you all right, Kathryn?
Janeway: Of course you silly, do I look insane to you?
She walked towards Harry but suddenly she tripped over her own feet.
Paris: Do I really need to answer that?Janeway: Whatever.
Tuvok: Captain, I highly recommend a visit to Sickbay.
Janeway: Kathryn, Tuvok! Call me Kathryn!
Paris: Gee, am I glad I didn't eat Neelix' food last night, what was IN that thing?
Neelix enters.
Neelix: Hi Bridge!
Bridge crew: Hi mister Neelix!
Neelix: Did I hear my name?
Janeway: Duh, we just greeted you, moron.
Neelix: Hehe! Captain Janeway, always the stand up comedian of Voyager.
Janeway: I wasn't joking.
Neelix: She should be getting her own show! She's brilliant!
Janeway: Listen
to me you failed Bavarian fruitcake, if you're not gonna shut up now,
you'll end up beamed in space without a space suit! Is that clear,
idiot?
Neelix: (can't speak due to laughter)
Janeway: Harry, darling, will you beam mister Stupid into space thank you very much?
Harry: Cap... Kathryn, you sure?
Janeway: Of course! Else I wouldn't be ordering you to do it! Now beam him out!
Harry: Aye Capt... Kathryn.
Harry beams Neelix into space and he is, of course, dead. Loud cheers are heard from over the entire ship.
Janeway: Sooooo, anyone up for a game of tennis?
Paris: Always am.
Harry: Who will pilot the ship?
Janeway: Hello, there exists something like auto-pilot? Boy Harry, can you be stupid!
Harry: Yes I can Ca... Kathryn.
Janeway: That wasn't a question.
Harry: Oh...
Okay,
lets see. Captain Jane...you hear a "Ahem" from Janeway .. Kathryn is
standing somewhere between Tactical/Security station and the Ops
Station. Chakotay's eyes are about to fall out of his face as he is
staring at Kathryn's legs. Tuvok is still a little confused, Paris is,
still, amused and Harry's face turned from pale to purple in the past
few minutes. Neelix is now dead. little yahoo dance Sorry to Neelix
fans. All 3 of them.
-----
That's it for now! I promise
to update really soon! I have no idea where this is going to, although
I have a tiny little idea for the end. Liked it? Absolutely hated it?
Let me know, but please be polite as I cannot stand flames. Thank you:)
