Self Discovery
Chapter 5
by Mandy
Author's Note: Yay! Another chapter is here and so fast too. Can
you believe that it took me less than 3 years this time to update? throws
confetti Sorry, I couldn't update sooner but I have other little story ideas
running around in my head plus the fact that I had all this other stuff to
write for school..bleh! Now school is done so I have some time to write. Unfortunately for me, the real world
sucks so I have to spend part of my time trying to find a better job. Thanks to
the few that cared enough to review, it encourages me enough to continue even
though I think my writing sucks. So if you want to see me continue then
please continue reviewing. Arigato gazumasu minne-san!
Next up, of course, is some omake :)
Chapter 4:
Leo: Ack! Raphael is a clown! There are just some things I really don't want
to know.
Don: So any ways, in order to support Raph, I got tickets to the circus and we
can be there to see Raph perform.
Leo: backs out of the room and decides to mind his own business
Later, lunch time.
Children are running around the lair and Raph is the center of attention in is
clown outfit
Leo: What is going on here?
Mike: Well Raph said he couldn't eat lunch with us because he had a birthday
party to entertain so I told him to bring it here, isn't that great?
Leo: Ahhhhhhh! Leo runs out of the room
Later Don and Mike are talking in Don's lab.
Mike: So what have you been up to?
Don: Oh, nothing.
Mike: Hmmm..where did Leo go and why does he keep chanting "Can't
meditate, clowns will eat me"?
Don: shrugs who knows.
Leo: walks in Hey guys, I'm glad to see things are finally getting back to
order around here...Ack! runs off
Don and Mike look at each other confused with clown noses on their beaks (A/N:
I wonder how they got them on there..hehe)
Don: Wonder what got into him?
Mike starts freaking out
Don: Huh? What's wrong.
Mike points behind Don
Don turns around and they both run off
A big Walmart smiley face is behind them
Mandy runs off because Walmart is scary and evil
Before the omake ends, she also grabs Klunk because she loves kitties and has
been dying to kidnap him since chapter 4
All of the characters bow
Mandy ponders the thought: Does anybody even read these?
Yeah, that was more weird then funny but, oh well. On with Chapter 5!
Raphael had been riding his bike and trying to keep annoying thoughts out of his head. For example, the question of why he felt so sick kept being raised. He felt more tired and weak lately like when you have the flu but it was a constant condition for him. It was frustrating for him to feel this way. He found it disturbing that Don wanted his blood sample. Raph didn't claim to be an expert on the matter but it bugged him. Why would he need one unless there was something wrong with him? Getting seriously sick was something that never happened to you, just people on TV. Then again he was a mutant turtle and that sort of thing doesn't happen to people everyday. Leo of course hadn't been helping matters, one bit. That turtle was really starting to piss him off. Sure those two didn't get along about 70 of the time because of their big differences in approaching situations and plus the fact that bossiness was a trait Raph couldn't stand in anybody else except himself but Leo was more aggravating to him than usual. Leo couldn't just mind his own damn business. The rush of the air and the thrill of riding his bike temporarily blew those thoughts away. One couldn't understand the great therapy that the dangerous excitement of riding a motorcycle could give unless they really had experienced it for themselves.
Usually for Don, the library was his favorite place to be. It was so quiet at the library and there was so much information in near proximity to him. Sure the Internet had opened up new gateways to quick information but the library held good data. The library was the place to be to get accurate and more detailed description of whatever it is that you wanted to learn more about, something that as vast and reaching as the internet was, could not provide. Unfortunately for Don, today the usual excitement that accompanied doing a search on the library computer for books and articles for his dreaded topic of interest was absent. He felt not a tingle of nervous glee but instead he was nervous with fear. He didn't want anything to be wrong with his brother. All he really wished for was that all this was over nothing and he could feel stupid. This was the first time in his life that he ever wanted to feel like a complete idiot. Sure he has wanted to feel average before but not stupid. There a first time for everything and there were a lot of emotions he was experiencing at the library for the very first time today.
After Don had enough sources, he skimmed through and printed some articles, found some books, and made copies of other articles on the copy machine. Everything was collected and now it was time to read through and make note of any important findings. This was the beginning of a journal that Don would put together to track everything from the information that he discovered, through Raph's progress, and the inevitable. Years later this journal would be read by nobody else and washed away in the floods of the sewers, only to fade away along with their existence.
Later that night, Don had finally returned home with a grim look. His movements were slow and weary. He had stayed at the library until they kicked him out and still he wanted to be alone. He had spent some time on the roof of a nearby building. His body had been chilled to the bone but the numbness was of no concern to him. The ragged bag that held such depressing thoughts was dropped to the floor without another thought. The secrets they held were just between Don and the stars. No one knew the gravity of the situation; all that they did know was that something had broken the equilibrium of the universe. Don felt like he was the only one that knew the world would be destroyed and was the only one who had any chance of saving it. The very thought scared him. He didn't want to be the smart one and didn't want to be the one to worry about these sorts of things. The weight of the world was weighing heavily on him and sleep was not an option in the dark and quiet lair. Everybody else had probably gone to bed by now, how lonely that felt. Don sat down at his computer, rubbed his temples, and felt guilt over the fact that he would have to steal some very expensive chemicals.
The night was quiet and lonely, even in the big city of New York. Riding around just made Raph feel lonely and when he was sure enough that he was out late enough, he decided that home was his next destination. After all, he was exhausted for that stupid unknown reason. Raph quietly snuck into the lab and was ready to hit the hay. He would have gone straight to bed if it weren't for a light that crept out of the cracks of Don's door. So Don also couldn't sleep. Raph was not one to confront these sorts of issues head on. His style was to avoid it with anger. He didn't know what had possessed him that night but he decided to have a chat of sorts with his brother. He knocked on the door and a quiet voice allowed him entrance after a few seconds. Don wasn't shocked and he wasn't going to hide anything anymore. He was ready to explain to Raph what he had been up to as of late. All the books and articles scattered about was nothing out of the ordinary. But that sullen look etched on Don's face was something that Raph would never forget.
"So, are you up late too, stick boy?" Raph asked.
"Yeah, I had too much on my mind. There are things more important than sleep." Don stated with no emotion behind those words.
Before Raph could stop himself, he asked the question that had been torturing his mind. "Why did you need my blood, Don? Is there something wrong with me?"
Don avoided eye contact with Raph. He never noticed how interesting the floor could be. He found the words he wanted to say lost in that moment. All he could do was nod. Raph felt the anger start to rise. He wanted a better answer than that. "So what the hell his wrong with me?" Raph snapped.
Don found the courage to look Raph in the face. "Raph, you...you have cancer." Don quietly answered looking down again, his hands restlessly fiddling.
"That's a lie! I'm just fine! I'm not going to die!" Don turned away from Raph to look at something on the computer.
"Everybody dies some time in their life and I guess now is your time. I didn't want to believe it myself. I wished that I was seeing things but after my analysis, this is the conclusion that I have come to. I'm sorry Raph, but you have Leukemia." Don starting typing on the computer.
"So now, I just die then? Isn't there anything I can do? You're a genius, so cure me." Don's fingers stopped moving and the echo of clicking noises ceased.
"I...I don't know if I can. I can try, but I can't promise anything. I'm afraid things don't look good. I'm sorry."
"Shit" Raph whispered. The anger and frustration began to build and Raph yelled out "Fuck!" Nothing was safe in the path of Hurricane Raph. Raph knocked over some things as he stormed out of Don's lab and out of the lair. There were no deaf ears in the lair and everyone was awakened from their light slumber. Don slammed his head down on the desk, his arms cradling his now sore head. "Damn it" he mumbled as few tears spilled from his eyes, down his cheeks, and moistened the tabletop.
Leo may have been lying in his bed but he was not asleep. Sleep had been eluding him that night. He heard Don's arrival and then Raph's grand entrance. He could only hear bits and pieces of the conversation that went on between Don and Raph. He wasn't sure what Raph had but he knew it was serious. Leo had gotten himself out of bed and wandered over to the sounds of the commotion that had rocked the once quiet lair. A few seconds later, the other occupants of the lair, absent Raph and Don, had gathered to along side Leo to see what that matter was. Raph was already gone. He had stormed off in a blind rage.
Mike looked nervous and upset. He didn't understand the situation at all. All he knew was that Don told Raph about whatever it was that he had known and the news was not taken well at all. Splinter sadly glanced at his two sons. He had sensed that something was deeply wrong. The argument had verified his worry and he now understood what all the chaos was all about. Leo looked to Splinter with question in his eyes, wanting answers that he knew the sensei could sense. Before Leo had a chance to speak, Splinter placed a furry hand on his shoulder in way of comfort. This affectionate gesture made Leo lose his words.
At that moment Mike gasped "Donnie". All eyes turned to the grief stricken brother. Don looked spaced out as if he was in another world. His gaze went right through the group and towards the exit. He sighed and vaguely looked around him, becoming aware of those who surrounded him.
"I guess he left..." Don quietly stated.
"Are you okay, bro?" Mike asked, concerned for his other brother now.
"No, I...I'm sorry everybody." Don replied quietly sighing and placed a hand over his face.
"So, it's true then?" Mike asked of Don.
"Yes...it seems that our brother has cancer. Leukemia to be exact." With that said Don turned around and began walking away. No one could find any words and belief was hard to come by. Mike was on the verge of tears. Leo didn't know what to say or what to think. He wanted to confirm what he heard and he wanted answers from Don. Splinter shook his head at Leo, knowing exactly what thoughts had been running through his head.
"Please, leave him be for now. Everybody needs to rest now so I think it is time we all go back to bed." Leo hesitated again. "And don't worry about Raphael, he will come back eventually. He needs some time alone to work things out." Splinter continued. Mike wasn't so sure about leaving either turtles alone. His instincts told him that both turtles needed comforting but if Splinter said it would be all right then Mikey would wait until morning.
Raph had found a spot for solitude. Oddly enough if was the same rooftop that Don had been atop earlier that night. The stars above had learned many secrets this night. Raph had been angry when he left the lair. It was usual for him to break things or skulls over anything that upset him but after awhile it left him. Now he just felt sorrow and loneliness. He clinched a tight, bloodied fist at the sky in frustration of this unbearable helplessness he felt.
"Why me?" he asked. "Why does that have to happen to me?" Raph didn't realize quite yet but he was afraid of death.
Morning had finally raised it sleepy head and a new day had begun. Mike had trouble sleeping that night until Klunk had decided sleeping on top of Mikey would be a good thing. Klunk's warmth comforted Mike to sleep. Now it was morning and Mike had gotten up. Leo and Splinter were not in immediate sight and Don's light was still on. Mike quietly peeked in on his brother and found that he had fallen asleep on a pile of papers near his computer. Who knew how late he'd been up? Mike quietly closed the door and proceeded to the kitchen. Klunk began following him, constantly meowing. Mike was in a daze and didn't even notice the meowing for a while as Klunk begged for attention. Mike finally took note of Klunk and the way that cat kept trying to lead him to the kitty food bowl, it dawned on Mike that the kitty wanted food. It really became obvious when the cat started moving the bowl with its cute little nose. So the mutant turtle slave got the kitty some food then started on breakfast for the rest of the creatures of the house. Speaking of creatures, one of them had finally returned to the lair. Leo had been waiting in the dark den for him all night.
"So, you finally came back, huh?" Leo asked quietly.
"Yeah." Raph answered tiredly. They just stared at each for a while. Leo had no idea what to say.
"Yeah, so what is it? Knowing you, you've probably been waiting in the same spot all night for me to come home. So say what it is that you wanted to say to me then just leave me the hell alone."
"I really didn't know what to say. I was just worried about you, is all." Raph took one look at his brother and got angry.
"Don't give me that look like you feel sorry for me or I'm a freak! Yeah, I'm gonna die but I don't need your damn pity!"
"Raph, please don't say that. You know that's not true."
"Yeah, whatever. You won't have me to argue with much longer." Raph walked past Leo to get some much-needed sleep.
The smell of pancakes filled the lair but not a soul felt like eating even though all of them really needed food supplementation.
Mmmm…pancakes…Well that's the end of chapter 5. I hope you all enjoyed it. It didn't take me very long to get this done so the quality may not be the best. I have a confession to make: I've had this done for a few months now but forgot to post it, sorry..hee hee. I hope to get chapter 6 up a lot sooner than I got chapter 5 out. I thought it to be a bit depressing but I'm planning for chapter 6 to be more lighthearted if I can remember what I had planned for it. Mandy scratches her head.
Sayonara!
