Kathryn's Insanity Galore

Chapter 5

A/N: Right. Voyager Idols part 2. Took me several months to re-write, replace the songs and all that, but I finally managed, here's... (drumroll) Chapter 5! Enjoy!

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What happened before:

Voyager Idols! Neelix is dead. Kes came and went.Tetris is important in the life of Tuvok and Seven. Harry's being whiny and annoying as usual. Guess what Tom and B'Elanna are doing, you get 50 bucks if you're right. Not. Chuckles is plain weird. And Kathryn is insane of course!

Now onto chapter 5:

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Janeway: (her nose is still against the camera) Welcome back everyone! Voyager Idols had a wonderful part 1 and coming up now is part 2!

Chakotay: Okay Tuvok, your turn!

Tuvok: Vulcans do not sing.

Janeway: Of course they do, I heard you singing in the shower 2 days ago! What was it again? Oh I remember!

(sings) My loneliness is killing me

(And I) I must confess

I still believe (Still believe)

When I'm not with you I lose my mind

Give me a siiii-iiiiiign

Hit me baby one more time

(slutty Britney dance)

Tuvok: I did not.

Janeway: You did!

Tuvok: Did not!

Janeway: You did!

Tuvok: Did not!

Janeway: You did!

Tuvok: Did not!

Janeway: You did!

Tuvok: Did not!

Janeway: You did!

Tuvok: Did not!

Janeway: You did!

Tuvok: Did not!

Janeway: You did!

Tuvok: Did not!

It goes on like that for a while. Till suddenly...

Kes: Look who escaped from the scary man? ME! (grins)

Janeway: No, not you again... If Rick can't... (snaps fingers) Oh Brannon, baby?

Brannon Bragga runs up to the Bridge.

Brannon: Yes m'lady?

Janeway: Could you remove Kes, pretty please with a cherry and chocolate sauce and... oh don't forget a cookie ontop?

Brannon: Of course m'lady.

Brannon grabs Kes, sweeps her over his shoulders, blows a kiss to Janeway and disappears.

Janeway: There. So where were we? Ah yes! (continues slutty Britney dance) Didn't you do that Tuvok?

Tuvok: Oh PLEASE Kathryn, you should at least shake your ass a bit more! Like this. (starts dancing and singing)

With the taste of you lips I'm on a ride

You're toxic I'm slipping under

With the taste of a poison paradise

I'm addicted to you

Don't you know that you're toxic?

B'Elanna gasps for air, lets go of Tom and goes to stand in the middle of the Bridge.

Torres: Excellent song Tuvok! Though I could do it better! (sticks out tongue) Okay here it goes.

Sets her hair to 'wild' and takes off her uniform top.

Torres: (sings as raped as only a half Klingon with a high hormone level can... ((Well maybe I can as well... I mean hello TOM is there! I mean, wouldn't ANY girl just THROW herself at him? Ouch B'Elanna stop poking me! I'm the writer here and I could easily make Tom mine! (B'Elanna looks shocked) Okay, you win... For now... Muahahahahahaha bwaaaahahahahaha!)) anyway, she sings...)

Baby can't you see

I'm calling

A guy like you (points at sexy Tom) should wear a warning

You're dangerous

I'm fallin...

She throws herself at Tom and they start making out again while the music keeps on playing. Instead Tuvok starts singing and finishes the song, better than Britney ever could.

Janeway: See Tuvok, I knew you could do it! Okay Doc, you're up next!

EMH: Be patient, I am picking a song...

Naomi innocently walks on the Bridge. She's shocked to say the least when she sees just what everyone is doing.

Naomi: Uhm Captain?

Janeway: It's Kathryn, sweetie!

Naomi: Uhm... Kathryn... What's going on?

Janeway: We're having fun!

They converse like that for a while when they suddenly hear something, faint but audible.

Torres: So tell me, just where (smooch) is that (smooch) warning of your.. (smooch)

Paris: Oooh you (smooch) wanna know that (smooch) huh?

Torres: (husky) Oh yes! (smooch)

Paris: (playful) Try me...

Torres: In here?

Kathryn quickly runs to Naomi and covers her ears. B'Elanna tries to find out where Tom's warning is...

Torres: You might (smooch) have left it in (smooch) my quarters...

Paris: You could (smooch) be (smooch smooch smooch) right...

Torres: Lets (smooch) find out...

They make their way off the Bridge... Sort of, they trip at least 5 times because their legs are tangled up and they hit everything and everyone on their way. Talk about being busy... (Julie sighs jealously)

Janeway: (blinks, then looks at the Doctor again) So, you picked a song yet?

EMH: Yes I think so... It's a tiny bit altered...

Janeway: Whatever, just get going.

EMH: (sings)

I'm a holo-boy

In a holo-woooooorld

Life as photons

Better than Proton's

Janeway: (trying to make him stop) THANK YOU, Doctor. Ahem.

Bridge crew minus Paris, Torres and Janeway: (claps)

Chakotay: Kathryn?

Janeway: Yes?

Chakotay: Wanna help me find my warning? (waggles eyebrow)

Janeway: (looking all horrified at Chakotay's expression and stepping back) Try your office... (hides behind Harry, who is still playing Tetris with Tuvok)

B'Elanna runs up to the Bridge with an underpants in her hand. She's obviously very happy.

Torres: Look what I found! (waggles the underpants)

Tom runs up to the Bridge still trying to straighten his bathrobe, that he had obviously just put on.

Torres: It's Tom's warning! It's right here!

She shows the underpants saying 'This is my warning... Rawr' to the Bridge crew. Tom turns purple of embarassment(awwww poor thing!).

Torres: That's SO sexy!

She grabs Tom and they disappear from the Bridge again.

Janeway: (is jealous) I knew I shouldn't have played hard to get.

Chakotay: (comes up right behind her and says in a low voice) I'm still available, babeh!

Janeway: (screams like a little girl) AAAAAARGH!

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Okay, the songs.

Toxic and Baby One More Time are obviously by Britney Spears. Kudos for Toxic hun:P

Barbie Girl is by Aqua but THAT version is MINE and mine alone! (grabs it and runs away)

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Hehehehe, admit it, this was great! Hahahaha OMG this is my favourite chapter so far! Yes in case you didn't already knew this, I'm absolutely crazy about Tom (I'm sure there's many of you out there!) and well I couldn't restrain myself and this is after all MY story so yeah I made a little note or two...

Reviews are always welcome, I love to receive them! Especially nice ones! ;) Feedback and NICE criticism is welcome at