Disclaimer: I do not own Gundam seed or its sequel –Gundam Seed Destiny. Nor do I own Cagalli, Kira orLacus.
Introduction: A Athrun/Cagalli and Kira/Lacus fic. But be warned, not all are positive...
A/U: Down some spoilers from episode 25... be warned once again
"I lost my heart to Athrun yet he just shattered it so easily." Cagalli Yula Athha mumbled into her legs as she buried her head in her thighs that are propped up on the floor of the room that she is in. This room is her own onboard Archangel ever since they 'rescued' her from her forced marriage with the Seiran family in Orb in order to achieve peace. A pink haired lady sat beside Cagalli on a stool, wearing her purple short kimono, a long piece of pink fabric secured around her waist but without her white coat with her hair tied up in a high ponytail secured by red ribbons. A curved yellow clip was clipped onto her right bangs. And she fixed her eyes at Cagalli with a gentle gaze in them.
The room that they are in was dimly lit by one lone lamp on a low table to the right of the both of them. And a ring with a purple jewel on its top also lay on the table untouched. Cagalli's golden yellow hair was untidy, she not taking any effort to comb it neatly, while her eyes are red and swollen, having tears fall down from her eyes for long periods of time as she reminisced her time with a certain raven-haired boy, his green orbs staring down into hers as they kissed under the moonlight of certain nights.
But those times her heart made her ache as well because she feared that her dream of living happily with him will no longer exist with his decision of not returning back to Orb or even Archangel, instead with the ZAFT ship, Minerva. Her voice sobbed a bit as she lifted her head up, starting to talk again to her friend, "Athrun is not going to come back to me… I know… He's back to ZAFT! So why do I still dream of waiting for him?" More tears streamed from her red swollen eyes down her cheeks.
The lady beside Cagalli, Lacus Clyne, just continued to look at the Orb Representative gently without speaking. She knew that Kira's twin sister is now pouring out all her feelings stuck inside her heart to herself. But her eyes were filled with hurt too. Lacus could vaguely understand why Athrun Zala could bear to be on their opposing side, hurting Cagalli's feelings too. There must be some reasons for his decisions to return to ZAFT, and these reasons must be also tearing his heart apart.
However, from the description that Miriallia Haww had told her regarding the meeting that Kira and Cagalli had with Athrun, Lacus guessed that Cagalli actually is not hurt with Athrun's decision to return to ZAFT but because he could not understand the predicament that she was in deciding to sign an alliance with the EAF. And hence, she now has doubts of his heart with her.
"Lacus, I know he loves me still… But his actions just proved otherwise! So for now… Please, Lacus please don't ever mention Athrun's name to me anymore! I don't wish to be reminded of his cruelty to me…" Cagalli sucked in a deep breath before rubbing her eyes forcefully, trying to stop her tears from falling, not caring where or not her eyes hurt. But as if a water dam had just burst, tears just poured out from her eye sockets, her lips trembling while making a few wails.
Next, Lacus knelt down in front of Cagalli, bringing the latter's head towards her own chest, putting her hands on the back of Cagalli and stroking it consolingly as she spoke in a soft voice, "But don't stop loving Athrun, Cagalli…"
"I said don't mention his name to me anymore!" Cagalli suddelly broke off Lacus' embrace, her eyes staring at Lacus accusingly.
Lacus smiled back at Cagalli and the latter softened her gaze at Lacus, "Sorry for my outburst."
"No, no, I don't mind one bit. I can understand your feelings but there is one thing for you to know. We have every right to be happy. Even if it's not for you now, I believe that the time will come for happiness to find you if you keep on loving him. After all, patience is a virtue, is it not?" Smiling gently again, she looked into the tearful eyes of Cagalli, wiping her tears with a tissue paper.
Cagalli felt her own heart shrinking in pain still though. And she became berserk as she trashed her arms around, pushing Lacus away and seeming to lose her mind with her outburst! "But even with all those words, Lacus, even if I keep on loving him… does he love me still? It seems to me that he is blaming us for the outbreak of this war… that I should not have agreed to the alliance of Orb with the EAF! But did he ever come and understand why I had to do that? For the sake of peace, I even could put myself down to marry Yuuna! And what did he do? He gave me a ring but got back on his words… he's not coming back to me… How can I ever trust him? Or love him then? Don't remind me of him! Please, Lacus. I beg of you!"
Lacus stared at Cagalli in a bit of shock; she had never seen Cagalli acting so agitatedly before. With the end of her outburst, Cagalli buried her hands in her face, not wasting any effort in wiping her tears away, just letting them pour out as she knelt on the floor. Lacus sighed deeply, pulling Cagalli closer to herself, she spoke, "Cagalli, there must be a reason for him to re-enlist in ZAFT. We all find different ways to achieve peace but there is just no one right way to do that. And I believe that Athrun wish to protect you so he does not want you to be out in battle… And not only you is disappointed in him, your brother also is."
Cagalli sniffed back a little, looking into the eyes of Lacus, somewhat calm at the gentle comfort brought forth by Lacus' hand that kept on rubbing her back.
"But being disappointed at him is different from understanding his actions." A new voice belonging to a male appeared suddenly as the door was swung open, Kira Yamato leaning against the wall, his head uplifted and then turning to look at them both.
"Kira." Both Cagalli and Lacus called out, Cagalli, trying to stand up but forgetting that she had been sitting on the floor for quite some time so her legs are rather weak, tumbled. Both Lacus and Kira swung into action, catching Cagalli before she hit the floor.
A snuffled laughter broke out from one of the three as Cagalli felt herself being caught by both Lacus and Kira. But Kira just accidentally grabbed Lacus' breast. Cagalli saw it clearly and could not stop herself from chuckling.
Both Lacus and Kira's faces grew beet red and Kira pulled back his hands while Lacus pulled back her body from the male's touch. At the absence of the two forces supporting her own body, Cagalli stumbled onto the ground with her bottom hitting the floor. Fortunately, a cushion was there to take away Cagalli's pain.
Kira cleared his throat, his face returning back to a serious tone but looking at it closely, a blush was still on his cheeks while Lacus looked at Kira smilingly.
"If the both of you are going to blush in front of me, better do it somewhere without me around." Cagalli jokingly commented.
"Don't try to change the topic, Cagalli." Kira chided and his blush subsided. Cagalli rolled her eyes in amazement but her eyes also hardened its gaze as Kira started once more, "Athrun has been looking out for the real enemy to hit upon but the happenings in the past few months have been complicating. It looked as if EAF is being evil as they declared war on ZAFT and PLANTS became heroes for their commitment in looking for a peaceful solution to the war that EAF declared on them.
"And I am sure Athrun must be feeling painful if you ever encounter anymore dangers. So maybe he is with ZAFT to protect you with any dangers when you face the ZAFT?"
"Then, what do you think of Athrun when he said we are the ones that made that battle go out of hand?" Cagalli asked softly, her eyes looking at her brother questioningly.
Kira's blue orbs widened before squinting his eyes, "We tried very hard to stop that battle but there are still casualties even as I was there… And Athrun has disappointed in me that he could not find anything suspicious with the ZAFT chairman. And he had no choice but to fight? How true… Even as I am disappointed at him, this does not mean that I do know of his predicament of making this decision." Kira sighed, his eyes starting to get red as he remembered back to the times where he and Athrun were close buddies and shared many secrets and dreams with each other.
However, the second Bloody Valentine War seemed to be teaching them lessons of not taking peace for granted once again and unfortunately humans, regardless of being coordinators or naturals, will not always take lessons from the past, committing the same mistakes over and over again… unless they go through great dangers then they can really put down hate… even if its for a while… Humans never learn from mistakes that easily…
Cagalli gritted her teeth, "Yes, fighting is the only way to stop this war… the way we know of… isn't it?"
Lacus looked in between the two twin siblings, feeling her own eyes getting swollen as one single trail of tears came down her eyes. She then made a move to get out of the room that threatened to choke her with their air of aura of determination in fighting once again in this war. She also wants Kira and Cagalli to have a heart-to-heart talk among themselves for the present war.
Lacus wiped her tears away and walked towards her own quarters. She knows she is going to Archangel's hot bath to relax herself, one thing that she always do whenever hopelessness threatens to overpower her.
She had been scared… Scared to battle so she hates fighting… Scared to lose her close peers and relatives in the ongoing conflict… But she knew she herself was the source of encouragement for some others, even as she had no one to turn to, she has to be strong. Because she believes in one vision: Every right to be happy is given to anyone, regardless of genes, race or gender.
Therefore, she can get happiness by helping others that she herself thinks are in need of help, even as it hurts her badly for not getting herself a person to take happiness from… from a man that she has been patiently waiting for - Kira Yamato.
End
Lame ending I know! But hope you hated/loved my lameness and give me a review of this fic?
Thanks!
